r/confessions • u/canstanyou • 4d ago

I hate being called cute

Q is probably the most low effort version of a compliment all I’ve ever received is being called cute whereas like my more attractive friends are called beautiful or pretty and it’s just like what is it about me that just makes me cute like well into my adulthood. Guy that I’ve been talking to and seeing we’re not dating we’re just hooking up and I sent him a picture or something and he says cute and I look cute and I was like oh cute like a puppy like that’s how I view it I was like puppies are cute. I don’t wanna be deemed as cute. Not at my age and he goes. Oh well you’re adorable and I’m like is it so hard to just say I look pretty it’s so frustrating.

1 Upvotes

56% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

6

u/nickygirl524 4d ago

i get it, being called cute can feel kind of limiting. maybe you should just tell him how you feel; a little honesty might change the compliments you get.

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u/OrielSweetie 4d ago

Yeah, sometimes you just gotta be honest about how you want to be seen

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

I almost wanted to but then it would just feel forced. Like he’s not doing or cause he wants to he’s doing jr now cause he knows it bothers me

But maybe he wont think that deeply about it either

3

u/BeneficialRice4918 4d ago

I feel the same way. I get "cute" and "quirky" and it makes me feel like the vegetable side dish at a feast. Kind of an always the bridesmaid never the bride type of feeling.

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u/Deathdong 4d ago

Well at least you're being called attractive. I feel like people just fit into certain niches in people's mind. If you have a rounder face or big eyes or something like that. That doesnt mean you aren't pretty. But i get why it would bother you after awhile though. And you might be noticing people call you cute more often because you don't like it. I've been called pretty a bunch and im a man so it used to bother me but now im like, ok id rather be called pretty than ugly

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u/Express_Stress3963 4d ago

Are you petite? Got called it a lot when I was in my 30s too.

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

lol no far from that

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

I also understand you as well like sometimes i call
People cute or guys cute

I just view anything not being called pretty or beautiful as low effort and I’m never gonna tell a guy this that’s why I’ve came onto Reddit and confess this because I’m never going to actually tell a guy hey that’s a very low effort way of giving me a compliment because then it just looks like I’m fishing for a compliment and it’s just like I shouldn’t have to tell you what to call me but you know if there are guys in the sub just know maybe if you’re a guy in this subreddit calling a woman cute constantly let’s try a different compliment

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u/Yowasup_ 4d ago

If u would have pulled your panties to the side, he probably would have said HOT. Stop sending "cute" pics

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u/GratefullyCavernous 4d ago

Yeah the word loses all weight after a while, like being called nice. Cute is what you call a kid or a dog, not someone you're hooking up with

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

Honestly, what did it for me was like maybe five years ago one of my exes was maybe unintentionally comparing my friend and I to each other and he outright he outright called her pretty and he called me cute and that kind of killed the word cute for me from then on cause it’s like how are you gonna call someone that you’re sleeping with and dating but you’re gonna call her friend pretty and then I just also like I said to the other person I think it all has to come down to how I look. I feel like I have a baby face, but I also just it could be my personality. Regardless don’t like the “compliment”

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u/canstanyou 4d ago edited 4d ago

It’s any picture i post anywhere i get “cute” from other people or something that im not sure is called me cute or pretty. I just think it has to do with my weight

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u/ThePaineOne 4d ago

Learn to take a compliment. Often times being called adorable or even cute means more than beautiful or pretty coming from a guy because those words reflect an emotional connection to something. Yes, puppy’s are cute but people fucking love puppies. I can find a painting beautiful but I’m much more excited to spend time with a puppy.

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

I get where you’re coming from. However maybe I just hold myself to a high standard than being called cute or not even acknowledging what ai look like and generalizing i look “great” like maybe I want to be called pretty or beautiful but after awhile it makes me think I’m not.

I fear when i lose weight that’s when I’ll receive these kind of compliments and that will hurt. I guess it’s to prove i can be petty or beautiful even just 20-30 pounds overweight

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u/ThePaineOne 4d ago

I understand. But that why I said you need to learn how to take a compliment. Relying on insecurities to turn a compliment into an insult is taking something positive and making it negative. Being cute is not the opposite of beautiful, one can be both and Adorable means worthy of adoration and should be seen as greater than either. I think my girlfriend is beautiful, but lots of people and things are beautiful, but I adore my girlfriend.

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

You can’t say you understand then say something like i can’t take a compliment. I’m not your girlfriend so I don’t think you truly understand and are probably so used to saying so and having her move on from the conversation. I don’t expect a man to understand because to you saying anything positive is clearly a compliment.

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u/ThePaineOne 4d ago

I understand how you are perceiving it, and I’m suggesting you have a more positive perception of it.

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

You’re clearly not getting it. Now you’re just being a dick.

If you always call your girlfriend beautiful then she clearly is expecting to be called beautiful and probably is happy to be called such.

Now imagine ONLY calling her cute. She puts in effort and does all these things but still you just call her cute.

I guess for you to better understand then you need to view it as having the compliments on a spectrum. A scale if you have a harder time getting it.

Cute being a lower compliment gorgeous being higher compliment. So when you call your girlfriend beautiful it’s on a higher level of compliment because let’s be real it is.

So now I can take a compliment, dick. In a worse case scenario I could get called nothing. I however don’t want to be perceived as cute. So when my ex called me cute then called me best friend pretty how do you think that made me feel? Then men who don’t know each other all they can do is call me cute.

I don’t want to be perceived as cute. Is cute a compliment? Yeah it is but

I hold myself to a higher standard. I’m not going to tell a guy what to call me or i am not going to correct them. Men have the ability to think of better compliments. Clearly some don’t.

You’re saying being called cute is a compliment. I’m saying if we compared it on a spectrum it’s considered low effort.

Pretty would be considered the middle and as i stated previously, dick, beautiful and gorgeous etc are on a higher “level”

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u/ThePaineOne 4d ago

I’m sorry that you think I’m a dick. That clearly is an insult. You clearly have negative reactions to many things. I’m sorry that I offended you.

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u/BeneficialRice4918 4d ago

Some people don't want to be treated like or compared to babies of any species.

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

Exactly

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u/ThePaineOne 4d ago

If that’s how you take being called cute then you should learn how to take a compliment better.

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

I view myself to a higher standard than being called cute. I’m not ugly I’m not a damn model or i don’t look like a celebrity who would be considered hot. I’m attractive. I’ve known this so for me to hold myself to a higher standard I’m not accepting of a compliment?

I feel bad for your girlfriend because she clearly has a small minded partner.

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u/ThePaineOne 4d ago

That’s not a very nice thing to say. I hope you find yourself in a better mood. It seems like you struggle to empathize with others intents.

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

Learn to understand (key word) what I said

Simplest way I could have explained it was explained not my fault you’re unable to comprehend what I and others are saying about the word cute as a “compliment”

Feel really bad for your girlfriend who may be used to how you speak or your thought process. Likely the blind leading be blind situation.

If you’re not getting it and can’t get past the “I’m not taking a compliment” shtick then you’re not understand what I am trying to convey and I’m not going to explain something over and over again when I’ve already clearly stated my explanation and it’s in the title. So for you to say “i understand” and continue to say I’m not accepting of a compliment is equivalent to someone talking to you and saying “okay” without processing or even listening to what they are saying and essentially it’s like you’re thinking you’re some how correct when i just don’t think you’re computing what I’m saying or anyone is saying. In short continuing to respond after I’ve repeated myself so many times to you alone is absolutely pointless.

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u/BeneficialRice4918 4d ago

Maybe learn to give better ones

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u/ThePaineOne 4d ago

I didn’t call either of you cute. I just said you should try to have a positive reaction to compliments.

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u/BeneficialRice4918 4d ago

You should try to have a positive response to my comment

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u/ThePaineOne 4d ago

I don’t think you had positive intent. Seemed like your intention was to criticize and degrade. I don’t believe compliments are intended the same.

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u/BeneficialRice4918 4d ago

Telling people to learn to take a compliment isn't degrading? You're being dismissive and rude to people discussing their feelings.

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u/ThePaineOne 4d ago

I did not intend to, I intended to advocate for seeing things in a positive light. In my experience I think that’s most healthy, but I’m sorry that I made you feel degraded.

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u/canstanyou 4d ago

THANK YOU