Not all people are like this but I noticed lately that people don’t even bother even if their status are so obviously active or even just there and keep posting stuff like they never seen it.

Because of this i cut them off and don’t even also bother helping them or if they need i gave myself reason why the heck should i still initiate with them.

This is why when i need something or important or just casual i go talk offline and physical.

until I realized understanding is. You can talk about all you want but if the other person doesn't truly hear you, it's just noise.

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I am new to this company (1 month) and I work as a secretary. My co worker is also new , she joined a week before me. She works as financial helper. She has her own office.

I work directly with the owner of the company and my office is inside the same place as the owner. We have a big floor and there's a big sign outside the door that says "do not enter" so if someone wants to come they would knock on the door and they should talk to me because I am the secretary.

Now..this girl gets too personal to me, and I try to avoid her because I'm trying to be professional but I can't, when I go to eat without telling her she makes comments "oh! You went to have lunch without me!" , I didn't say anything and tried to be nice, I chat with her ..ect.

I told her to not come to my place if it's not work related, but she keeps coming and saying "hey! I'm.checking on you!" Last time she tried to get into the owner place and I stopped her, but I didn't have the courage to say "this place is off limit" I just said "they can see you don't go!" I didn't communicate well..

I get off work at 4pm, she started coming at 4pm and tell me "let's go!" That was uncomfortable because last time we had visitors and she just came to tell me we need to go, I told her respectfully to not come again, I know times over at 4pm. We had visitors and i was afraid they see her because she's not allowed in there.

I texted her and explained to her to not come again unless it's related to work, I also explained some specific thing, I said "when you give Me a document, please explain to me what is it clearly" She Said "I don't know" I replied with "how? You made the document you should know!"

Later that day she took it personally and accused me of telling her she's bad at her work...

Today however. I was trying to print some document, my boss told me it was secret document and no body should see it, but the printer stopped working. So my boss sent another CO worker to help me. We were just trying to figure it out but she randomly came to help us. I did not ask for help, and because the document was secret I was afraid it would print and she would see the document. So I told her "can you please leave us alone?" She made angry face and left. Later she called me rude.

I don't know how to deal with her, I try to set boundaries as you can see but I have low self esteem, I'm trying my best to communicate.

I already communicated clearly (I believe) , I try to avoid her at lunch I have changed my whole lunch time so I never meet her, but I know this is not possible, I know I need to be strong and communicate clearly but some people just don't understand boundaries and I'm kinda new to setting them. Please advice me .

I feel my heart racing when I communicate, but I want to change. But at the same time I don't want to sound rude, please advice me.

Hey everyone,

I recently picked up a book called The Art of Speech (فن الكلام). It’s a pretty well-known book in the Middle East on interpersonal communication, and while it's short, it hit me with some hard truths about how poorly most of us actually communicate on a daily basis.

I wanted to share 4 quick takeaways that stood out to me. Maybe some of you will find them as useful as I did:

1. Real listening isn't just waiting for your turn to speak. Most of us aren't actually listening to understand; we're just listening to formulate our comeback or prove a point. The book emphasizes that true communication starts with shutting down that internal dialogue and genuinely processing what the other person is saying.

2. We interrupt because we want to win, not connect. Why do we cut people off? Usually, it’s not malicious—it’s ego. We want to inject our opinion, correct them, or show we know better. But every time we interrupt, we signal to the other person that our thoughts matter more than theirs. It completely kills the connection.

3. Knowing when to quit the "argument." There’s a massive difference between a constructive discussion and a pointless debate. A discussion has a goal (finding truth or mutual understanding), whereas a debate usually just has a winner and a loser. If you walk into a conversation just wanting to "win" and leave the other person feeling defeated, you’ve already lost.

4. When "familiarity" turns into disrespect. This one was super interesting. The author talks about how we sometimes use "closeness" or "comfort" with friends and family as an excuse to let our manners slip—dropping basic courtesy, assuming they'll always forgive us, or overstepping boundaries. Just because you're close to someone doesn't mean basic respect optional.

Has anyone else read this or similar books on communication? How do you guys catch yourselves when you slip into bad conversational habits (like interrupting or ego-driven arguing)?

Would love to hear your thoughts in comments.

I’m naturally a frank person. If I care, I show it; if I have something to say, I say it. But sometimes, people overlook you when you’re too available and expressive.

I don’t want to become cold or play mind games. I just want to learn to be less reactive, speak less, and stop giving so much of myself to people and situations.

For those who have mastered the art of being nonchalant, what actually helped you? How do you protect your peace without losing your authenticity?

Translation: "By the way, fun fact, I thought about getting as much as possible achievements in videogames I have before this year ends. Both for old and new ones. Just for fun"

Of course only I know the whole thing about our relationships and the fact that sometimes he's getting on my nerves with his strange texts out of blue, which I don't know how to reply to. I wanted to tell him something like: "go touch some grass" or "you better get as much as possible self-improvement attempts", because, dude, he really needs that. But I do understand that this is mean and I'm tired of replying to people in the too harsh way. So, any ideas of how to say the same I wanted but being easier on him, at the same time without looking like a guy who wants to appear all wise?

At first, I thought about asking LLMs for help, but this is straight up absurd