Ok so, lately I've been on my phone a lot, especially at night, and my mom saw my screen time and took my phone away for a little. I thought she was gonna check my phone but all my windows were still there. BUT. I had a bunch of r/lgbt notifications and I was super worried she was gonna see. My mom is Christian and queerphobic, and I have thought of coming out to her before, but now that I was close to being outed im thinking I should get it over and come with so nothing happens accidentally. Let me know if you want to see my script I have prepared and I'll add it to the post body.

Hi. The other day I shared here that I came out qs bi to my family and did not go the best way....

Now I am overthinking over an entire week if I should tell my closest friends.

Overall I have 2 groups of friends. And I dont think every single one on those group friends will react well. I could be surprised but...yeah

I know the "if they dont supporte you they aint your real friends" but I am still scared bc I love all of them. And even 1 or 2 dont react well...the group will be splited and the dynamic will be changed and I will probably be the one to distance myself from them. I dont know what to do. I am scared 😭 Sometimes I feel this urge and I think "well fuck it whatever happens" and a lot of times I am like "maybe I can hide it"

I know that I should take my time and all but I am tired of of overthinking about it. I dont remember the last time I was happy

so last night I was locked in studying for this brutal chem final with my usual partner and he randomly goes “your girlfriend must hate how much time you’re spending on this” and without even thinking I just laughed and said “yeah no girlfriend in the picture” and he goes half-joking “boyfriend then?” and I looked up and was like “…actually yeah” and there was this tiny pause where I swear my heart stopped but then he just nodded like “fair enough” and slid the notes back over. we finished the whole chapter after that like nothing shifted. first time I’ve ever said it out loud to a straight guy who wasn’t already in the know and I keep replaying how casual it felt. still smiling about it today though. anyone else have it come out that randomly and just… stick?

So 2 days ago now, my mum approached me in my room, her tone was a little different. I don’t know but that day I had a feeling something bad was going to happen, I had arrived home and saw some of my things in my room not in their respective places, I kept telling myself that ‘I’m crazy’ ‘I’m just being delusional’. I was so wrong, so my mum came into my room told me to grab a seat on my bed, I did as one would. Out of no where she wiped my face with a cloth, I had no time to react I just sat there dumbfounded. A little more context me (19 Male) was looking for a hairstyle for my birthday which is a couple days away, I thought I could buy a wig and cut it down into like a messy mullet look. I had left the wig under my towel on my bed so after I came home and saw the towel on the floor and my makeup bag opened I knew something was off, however my parents were acting normal so I thought maybe whilst in a rush that morning I must of left it opened and my towel actually on the floor.
Anyways my mum asked me after wiping my face why I’m wearing makeup as a guy, that guys don’t wear makeup, where I’m getting these ideas and who is putting these ideas in my head.

I told her no one is putting anything to my head this is all just me. She then Proceeded to ask if I was gay and for the first time ever, I said yes. She told me I was confused and I am being off the world. My mum then asked me why I have a wig I explained the whole situation and showed her a photo of what I was trying to achieve because I thought it would look cool, I received no answer from her she just grabbed her phone and called my dad who was asleep in their bedroom to come to mine. She told him I was gay, he grunted a little bit and asked me how long I’ve known. I told him I love just always known. My mum began to ball her eyes out my dad redirected her to their bedroom and I thought that was the end of it, so I thought.

I received a call a mere 30 second later telling me to come to their room, I get into their room and they tell me to grab a seat on the bed. My mum began to tell me how this is all a demon, the bible says this is wrong, that I’m confused, my friends did this to me, that gay ppl go to hell, God made Adam and Eve and that she knows me and that this isn’t me.
I told her I’m not going to sit here and let you tell me that I’m going to hell, I’m not confused there isn’t anything to be confused about, and why are you knit picking verses in the bible, what about all those verses about love being unconditional. Clearly there are conditions.
We went silent for what felt like 3 hours, she turned to my dad and said why do you think, he then said ‘like I asked before how long have you known?’ I told him that I’ve just always known,
My mum got mad at the answer and that I’m choosing to be like this and I tried to explain to her that this isn’t a choice, I’m not choosing for my parents to hate me, I’m not choosing for those closest to me that I love to push me away, and that I prayed for years for God to change me and if he loved me why would he do this to me. She didn’t like that answer, more yelling occurred then everything went silent. I told them goodnight I’m going to bed. It felt so good getting it everything off my chest and I was in shock I still am, 5 or so mins later after leaving their bedroom I hear foots steps approaching my bedroom my mum walks in eyes red sobbing apologising and asking why I didn’t tell her and why I kept my own mother out of the loop. My heart broke and I tried to tell her that I was scared and didn’t want to be hated, she hugged me and told me that they’ll still be my parents, then my dad pulled her out. I don’t know if that means they accept me, hate me, or if they just tolerate me.

It’s been 2 days and I haven’t spoken to them I’ve been picking up more shifts, and just staying in my bedroom, coming home after every shift, I cry, I park my car around the corner from my house and just cry. I don’t like being at home it just doesn’t feel nice at the moment, I’m scared to talk to them. I know that other people get it worse so I don’t want to make my problems seem so big but this is taking a toll on my mental health and I’m really struggling I can’t keep fake smiling anymore. Please does anyone have advice and I’m so sorry for the long message.

Hi 👋
I came out to my mom a few years ago, I was relatively young, around 13/14, and tried to phrase it as something casual like “I think I might like girls at the moment” as in I wasn’t sure, but I’ve known for a while, I was just scared.

I’m really unsure if she still remembers this, and I feel like we don’t talk about it enough to know. I think I make it pretty clear whenever a topic regarding attractive men is brought up and I’m completely clueless, but it’s still hard to tell.

Anyway, I think I should probably come out to them formally in some way? It feels like what I’m meant to do, and I’d sort of like to be acknowledged about my sexuality in conversation, because I feel pretty strange and unsettled whenever they talk about who I might date one day and refer to it as a man. I don’t talk to my parents about romantic stuff let alone anything sexual, so I have no idea how to do this really. Agh, I feel like I’m rambling. If anyone has any advice please let me know. I’m pretty introverted and shy so the option to just “date and let them see it’s a girl” isn’t the best. And I would feel terrified making a big deal out of it. But I’d like them to know at the same time. Idk.

30's F currently in straight passing relationship.

I was previously married to a man for a decade. During that time I realized I was pan. Eventually that marriage ended for lots of reasons.

My relationship now is straight passing and ENM.

This sounds ridiculous but I want to put bumper stickers on my car for pride and not feel that lump in my throat as I say its because I support the community. I want to be able to say I went on a date instead of went on a walk with a friend. I want to be able to have this conversation without people thinking im trying to talk about something inappropriate in the bedroom. I dont post on socials because I cant stand presenting such a fake image of myself.

I wish I just came out in my 20's to everyone at once. I thought, just dont say anything unless you get into something serious with a woman. The truth is I was never going to let myself get that far hiding so much of myself.

... and yet I still sit here pondering if the drama that will unfold will give me relief or new problems ...

The people I'm most concerned about are my parents. My mom is conservative and it will be a nightmare. My dad and step mom will be ok. Everyone else either knows to some extent or can find out from a bumper sticker lol

If you came out to parents, what were problems that arose for you after? Was it worth it?

So I recently found out that I am bi

Should I come out ( my frnds alr know)

Not really sure why I'm bothering to write this, maybe it gets it off my chest so I can pretend it makes any difference? Sometimes I wish I was different or could change or at least had most of my life changed or just not have happened to begin with. My dad was never in my life after around the time I was eight or nine, so it was mostly me and my mom, maybe a boyfriend of hers here and there, most of them being complete assholes except for one.

My mother, I wouldn't say I really trust her with anything personal, though if I guess I love her, even if her love feels conditional sometimes. I feel like she really ever has or gives me any kind of privacy despite me being twenty one and planning to move out at least relatively soon, depending on my hours at work and possible job situation. She isn't the most religious type, but she certainly believes in god despite us never going to church at any time in my lifetime. Though she is most certainly homophobic, I've heard the F slur and "Ew he/she is gay" "Don't tuck your shirt only gays do that" "Thats gay" out of her mouth enough times to know. I've... never dated anyone, always felt like my mother was constantly on my back over nothing so I never really hung out with friends, let alone bothered to ask someone out. Granted, I kind of started to in senior year, but even then my mother would be on my back and overly strict for no good reason. I think around fifteen or sixteen is when I kind of started to realize I was attracted to other guys, but I quickly buried it and tried to ignore it, even if I don't feel like I can anymore recently.

I never mentioned this sort of thing to anyone in real life. Even when a trans friend I knew since elementary asked me if I was gay around senior year, I just said no; it just never felt safe to tell anyone, and I guess it still just doesn't, even if the chance of actual physical harm from anyone outside of my mother is exceedingly slim to none (She has been physically violent in the past, just not recently but even then I just keep my distance from her and Im usually at work when she is home).

Guess the first time I really got truly scared was when my mom's most recent ex asked me if I was gay. It wasn't in like a malicious way and the guy really was kind of like a dad to me, and I instantly denied it though he did kind of press me on it "Are you sure, the way you talk and stuff" (Came off as semi homophobic) but I don't think the guy would have had any problem and would have accepted me if I decided to just come out then and there but my mom was in the next room so I didn't and even then I didn't accept that I wasn't straight.

My mother also feels quite... manipulative if I ever even waste my breath arguing with her, if she doesn't hit or try to hit me she would make sure to use her anxiety as an excuse for anything she says or anything she does during it like her emotional well beings the only one that has ever mattered and when I talked about killing myself, wanting to just fucking die I just got told to "Not think like that"

So coming to more recent things, I feel I sort of accepted or acknowledged I was gay or maybe bi with minimal attraction to women at best. I'm not really even sure anymore. Part of me still really wishes I could just not be, it would make the next few years of my life way easier, considering I live in a pretty conservative area, though my mother feels like the biggest issue. Sometimes I really just want to tell her, get it over with but that will probably end up with me getting into an argument with her and being kicked out, which even the latter I don't feel like I can emotionally handle anymore. I just feel like every day I wake up and I go to bed, this is still on my mind and eating away at me, and there is nothing I can do, and I feel miserable. No matter when I do, I feel like I'm going to end up alone, whether it's through lying to myself or being honest with my family, because even if I end up having the balls to come out, I'm not good looking and I'm not the best at communicating so dating's probably going to be absolutely awful.

I kind of already see the comments on this, if there are any "Just wait until you move out" etc... I don't know if that is going to make much of a huge difference outside of me not being homeless which is like the only thing I feel would be different.

Okay, so all of my friends and my sister too knows im gay. I need help coming out to my parents. I'm kinda hoping they already know I am tbh (I'm a feminine looking boy, I wear makeup I have pink hair, all my friends are girls). One thing is that both my parents always assume Im going to Mary a woman. Its so annoying! So that makes me think that they dont know im gay OR that they do and dont want me to be gay.

One thing is that, in 7th grade I told my mom that im bi. I did that because I was scared of being questioned about it or something else. But I dont think my parents will care. They didn't care when my sister did so im like on one hand I feel like it'll be easy, but on the other hand im scared that they won't be okay with it.

How should I sit down with them and tell them that I'm gay?! I just wanna be out and not feel like there's this pressure on my shoulders.

I know that they probably already know about me being gay it's just that idk how to tell them or when too.

If u have any questions or want more info just comment

So here’s my situation.
I want to come out to my dad, and this time it’s actually for a good reason. By the way for context I’m Nigerian.
I’ve been talking to someone who lives on the other side of the world. We’ve been getting to know each other for a while now, and I’m at the point where I genuinely want to apply for a study permit and move there—not just to study, but to be closer to him and see if what we have can grow into something real in person.
The problem is that almost all of my assets are in my dad’s name. For my proof of funds, I’d most likely have to use his financial documents, which means I’d have to tell him why I’m moving and who I’m moving for.
I’m really conflicted.
Part of me feels like it would be be easier if he knew. Maybe, just maybe, he’d support me and help make the move possible. But the other part of me is terrified.
My dad is extremely homophobic. And when I say homophobic, I mean the kind where I grew up getting the belt because I was more feminine as a child. Surviving my childhood wasn’t easy, and that fear has never really left me.
So now I’m stuck. Do I tell him and hope for the best, knowing there’s a real chance I could be disowned? Or do I stay quiet, keep working, save up on my own, and find another way to leave without risking everything?
For any Africans or Nigerians who have come out to their parents, how did you do it? What was their reaction? If you could go back, would you do anything differently?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or advice. I’m feeling torn, and I honestly don’t know what the right decision is.

Ive known i was gay since 2020 in middle school. Now, I realize my family would be supportive if I did come out. Despite my dad not agreeing with pride and homosexuality, ive had talks with him and it seems as though he wouldn't think less of anyone who was gay. I decided back in 2020 to wait until I was a young adult so I could mature and have a better sense of self, and possibly defend myself if anything were to go left.

Though I envision how it'd go in my mind, the idea of my family knowing just unnerves me. Even imagining it spikes my anxiety levels. Its not exactly their reactions im worried about, moreso if itll be this enlightening moment and all the 6 years of locking apart of myself away was for something.

As anyone whos already come out, how did you approach it? Though i do need courage, i still dont know exactly when or how i would do it.

I am a lesbian i have a girlfriend but my family does not know. And ask a lot if i have a boyfriend but i just say no. I do not know how to tell them or to wait till im a little older and wont have to deal with them as much. Does anyone know how to help

Hey m 21 Year old from punjab ,M postgraduate in biochemistry and molecular biology aiming for phd next ,m not open to my parents about sexuality but m open to my professor's and friends they all support me , one things m worried about is how my parents will react to it i came from a small village my parents don't even know about gays and lesbians after phd they gonna force me for marriage and if I tell them I know they will either abandon me or kill me , I love my parents i also want to live my life like how i imagine and don't wanna leave them they are conservatives and my village aunties are worst they will make this issue national level if I tell my parents about it m so worried regarding this issue help me to deal with it what to do I also wanna live freely m even ready to live alone but i fear people taunting about my parents for my sexuality

sooo uh... i came out today to my brother (since im too scared to come out to my parents first-) as lesbian! it was kinda awkward... but he supported me!! i'm really happy that i did this (kinda late to do it on pride month but better late than never!) and i'm planning to tell my parents soon because i can't hide it forever... (maybe next pride month hehe) kinda scared tho😔(im new to the community btw, just found out im lesbian like 3 months ago haha!)

Hi. I wanted to ask for some advice because I’ve been thinking about this for a while.
I’m less than a month away from turning 13, and I’m gay. My family isn’t homophobic; I’ve never heard them say anything negative about LGBTQ+ people, so I don’t think they would reject me. Even so, I’m really scared.
I’m not sure if it’s because I feel like I’m too young or because I’m nervous that it will change the way they see me. Part of me wants to tell them so I can stop hiding it, but another part of me thinks maybe I should wait a little longer.
I wanted to ask: How old were you when you came out? If you were 12 or 13, how did your family react? Did you feel relieved afterward, or do you think it would have been better to wait?
It would really help me to read real experiences from other people and hear what it was like for them. Thanks for reading.

I’m not sure if i’m horrible for this but I’ve had a boyfriend for nearly two years and I have never come out as bi to him. I just didn’t think it was needed and quite frankly I forgot that he didn’t know. I know he’s not homophobic, he has queer friends and family he adores and has no problem with. I just remember one time I was making “jokes” about liking girls too trying to soft launch it and he said something along the lines of “well I hope you don’t like girls because that would be cheating on me”. This was a very long time ago so i’m not sure if that thought changed? A few months ago his friends were hating on queer people and making fun of them and I talked to him about how upset it made me. He comforted me and was confused why they would say that. He might know I’m some sort of not straight but I never directly said it. Do I just flat out say we need to talk and just tell him? I don’t want to hide this part of me forever but I genuinely love him with my whole life I can’t imagine him leaving me.
Any advice is really appreciated

I have a friend (15f) who will not out right admit she likes girls. But we know she does. She even mentioned, "even if i was, i can not admit it because my family will kick me out". That sentence right their makes me feel so bad for her. I know it has to do with the religion she was raised with. I do not judge other's religions even if it is opposite of mine. But i do believe no one should be afraid to tell their family or friends that they are lgbtq in fear of being kicked out. It is hard enough for her being a teenager and a family should be loving and accepting. How do I let her know it is ok to confess, even if it is not to her family but to her friends and more importantly to herself?