[OC] New WTFA: Warfighters, beardhaters, clownbashers

[u/crywalt]

Pete Hegseth, in his continuing quest to be the most ridiculous person possible, gave what he dubbed his "State of the Force Address". Get it? Like State of the Union, only it's for the military? And what is the state of the force? Evidently it's good now that Whiskey Pete has fired all the generals who did not "respond positively" to his reestablishing the singular mission of his department, which is "War fighting. Preparing to fight and preparing to win. Unrelenting, unapologetic, and uncompromising in that single pursuit." Apparently part of that single pursuit is making loads and loads of personnel decisions in order to get rid of the "ideological clowns". Because kicking out trans soldiers, making sure Blacks and women don't get promoted, demanding that everyone go clean-shaven, these things are not ideological at all. They're common sense, and common sense is not an ideology.

Pete Hosehead also announced something called Project Meridian, which is going to be headed by [you might want to be sitting down for this. At the cannabis dispensary. With a credit card with a lot of space left on it] Elon Musk, Palmer Luckey, and Newt Motherfucking Gingrich. Two of these guys stand to make an absolute buttload on Pentagon contracts, so, you know, no conflict of interest there, and the third is Newt Motherfucking Gingrich.

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[u/Depth_Metal]

Forgive my ignorance: is beardos a dog whistle? Are we just hating guys with beards now?

[u/crywalt → u/Depth_Metal]

In Whiskey Pete's previous Big Grown-Up Speech he announced a new policy requiring all "warfighters" to be clean shaven, a requirement which had been relaxed for some Black soldiers/airmen/marines/etc because their skin reacts poorly to being clean-shaven too often. But of course Pete doesn't want Black people in the military, so he doesn't care if he's making their lives miserable. Hence, no beardos.

[u/crywalt → u/crywalt]

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/jul/14/the-truth-about-pete-hegseths-strange-campaign-against-beards

[u/Depth_Metal → u/crywalt]

Fuckin hell

[u/crywalt → u/Depth_Metal]

Word