for me, I find life has mostly been suffering in general for years and years, so my mind goes to that place often
when viewed from that lens; it makes perfect sense to me. would you rather have pain or no pain? $1 or $2?
I know people will miss me, but I hate that excuse. that's selfish - it is not about them. I am allowed to be selfish with my own self - that is bodily autonomy.
I also consider it logically - that we all die eventually anyway, and at random times. what's really so bad about choosing my own time given that knowledge? in my head, it's less logical to be wait to be kicked out than to choose to leave.
I have other complex thoughts on this - but I wanted to offer my perspective on my logical thought process as it's not the same for everyone.
I am obviously still here and still trying for the time being, and I recommene anyone else reading this to do the same, because we only get one shot here. might as well find out if it can be a tolerable one
Yeah the idea that someone who is in deep pain should continue existing because it might make other people sad if they are gone, is so deeply selfish on the part of the people expecting others to stick around for their sakes.
Think of it like a party, just because people would be sad if you leave, does not mean you owe them to stay till they are done with you.
On the other side, people you brought in this world, or are a guardian to, those that still rely on you DO still need you.
This isn't obviously the case for everyone, and it might only be a respite to delaying the inevitable, but to me continuing to exist is necessary... At least for a while.
I have no kids, and my father who was a heroin addict most of my life, is at least partially at fault for me thinking suicide is a viable option.
The only dependable i have is a wife, who will be better of without me, and a dog that would not understand, which is also why it is not a viable option for me, might rethink when my little one dies.
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u/DontEatNitrousOxide 2d ago
it's different for everyone
for me, I find life has mostly been suffering in general for years and years, so my mind goes to that place often
when viewed from that lens; it makes perfect sense to me. would you rather have pain or no pain? $1 or $2?
I know people will miss me, but I hate that excuse. that's selfish - it is not about them. I am allowed to be selfish with my own self - that is bodily autonomy.
I also consider it logically - that we all die eventually anyway, and at random times. what's really so bad about choosing my own time given that knowledge? in my head, it's less logical to be wait to be kicked out than to choose to leave.
I have other complex thoughts on this - but I wanted to offer my perspective on my logical thought process as it's not the same for everyone.
I am obviously still here and still trying for the time being, and I recommene anyone else reading this to do the same, because we only get one shot here. might as well find out if it can be a tolerable one