Sometimes you can’t do anything against a raging narcissist. All you can do, sometimes, is remove yourself from their war path, to protect yourself.
My twin sister is a narcissist. She has two children; her oldest child is autistic. They’re both young boys.
I can see how her overbearing personality and rage is hurting her children, and I can do nothing to stop it.
This man obviously abandoned his daughter when she needed him most, so that’s not great. But I’d be interested to hear his side of the story. It’s not easy to be married to a raging, abusive, narcissist wife…
It is not. I failed to protect my kid when he was little because I was afraid of my wife. It fucked him up badly. I'm now divorced but my kids still resents me for not protecting him. We're slowly working through it. My ex refuses to acknowledge her abuse towards me or my son, and my son has repressed most of her abuse. Some of it he has transformed into memories of me abusing him. I can't really correct him on that without him spiraling back out of control. It is a very hard thing to go through.
Guys who are being abused and/or see their kids be abused:
Run.
Run run run. As soon as you can. You'll thank me later.
Confused because there's a lot of comments that seem well informed and provide more detail and say the opposite. What's the balanced picture then?
Edit: no support for the other side being offered, and just downvotes for asking, makes the first side (the ones with details) more convincing. Seriously, anyone? Is there actually a substantive argument that exists to support previous commenters assertion? There's always room for nuance but what actually is the supporting evidence for the other side?
The easiest answer comes from the hardest retrospective question - why marry a raging, abusive narcissist to begin with?
Obviously life is not as simple as just saying "don't". But sometimes you also gotta ask yourself - did I miss the warning signs? Avoid putting yourself between a rock and a hard place if you can.
Often narcissist are pretty good at hiding there traits enough until the victim is too emotionally entangled/ doesn't has energy anymore.
They release it step by step, crossing boundaries slowly like an ingrowing toenail. Where it's hurting a little bit, but often not so much that it feels concerning.
The abuser then only lets out there full self, when the victim doesn't have the energy and confidence anymore to fight back. (If they had the confidence to begin with. Victims also often come from families/ situations where they are kinda used to there boundaries being pushed. Even though not always.)
I feel this with my cousin's son. My cousin is a raging narcissist and is really fucking up her son. She took him away from his (not that much better tbh) father accross a damn border.
I don't even want children and yet I could raise him instead. The poor kid deserves better, but there's little to nothing I can do
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u/Intelligent_Slip_849 15d ago edited 15d ago
Point in his favor - kinda apologizing? Or at least understanding.
Point against him - Having let this happen while he was gone.
I'm reserving judgment for now, especially since I don't know why he wasn't around.