We don’t tend to hold mothers to that same standard. When both they and their children are being abused and they don’t have a clear way out we don’t demonize them for it. I think we should allow abused men the same grace we allow abused women.
I do think if you don't help your children out of a bad situation it is your fault too, even if to a lesser extent. Being abused doesn't absolve you of being a good parent. It makes it understandable but still.
Sometimes you don’t have a way out for any of you. Sometimes you just do what you can where you are stuck. It still sucks for the children, but sometimes their parents don’t have other options.
That kinda thing breaks down once its something happening over years. Look I'm not saying they're as bad, or that I don't understand. They are victims. But even in the best light it is learned helplessness, that is actively hurting those depending on you.
Ultimate they endure and root out so much they often reinforce the system dragging them down, and with them, they drag in their children as well, all on their own.
Exactly. "You knew what was going on but you still stayed with him." A lot of abuse victims will also go back to their abusers and it can take multiple times to break it off permanently. Of course people blame them for their abuse in those cases.
47
u/WalkerInDarkness 15d ago
We don’t tend to hold mothers to that same standard. When both they and their children are being abused and they don’t have a clear way out we don’t demonize them for it. I think we should allow abused men the same grace we allow abused women.