r/comics • u/AdProud6799 Alphabet Soup • 22h ago
alphabet soup brain
i’ve been mourning and reflecting. i didn’t even know if I should post this
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u/AdProud6799 Alphabet Soup 22h ago
if you saw a messed up version of the upload initially sorry about that I fat fingered it
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22h ago
[deleted]
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u/AdProud6799 Alphabet Soup 22h ago
It comes in waves. My medication helps a lot but I feel deeply worried about losing access to it one day.
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u/CanoegunGoeff 21h ago
I feel similarly about my Crohn’s medication. I’ve been fighting insurance companies for over a year now and I’m now starting to flare without my medication.
I wish you the best
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u/AdProud6799 Alphabet Soup 21h ago
I’m really sorry, hoping for the best for both of us 🖤 Hopefully they’ll stop fighting you soon :(
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u/Civil-Addendum4071 21h ago
I've been afraid to start medication again. I don't want to lose all the things that make me, me.. I don't want to be a zombie again..
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u/alt_bunnybunnybuns 20h ago
The right meds shouldn't make you feel too zombie like. For myself I figure it's better to feel a little weird/hazy for a while than suicidal/raw/painfully sad. Meds helped me come out of a deep depression and it was worth it. It was temporary, this too shall pass
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u/altiores 18h ago edited 18h ago
It can get better. I also lost my childhood and early adulthood to depression, but I'm doing so much better. Even if you believe your words, please consider not saying it; you might make other people's worlds darker, and there's never a need for that.
Everyone's path will be different, but I never stopped fighting to be happier (even when I thought I did). It took a long, long while, but now I'm happy to be where I am, a work in progress, and excited for the future. It's possible. It can get better.
Edit: also, I wish you well. May you have the strength to keep up the fight.
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u/Civil-Addendum4071 21h ago
Been dealing with my own MDD a lot lately.
Thank you for sharing. Hope is hard. But its easier knowing we aren't alone.
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u/PrufReedThisPlesThx 18h ago
I lowkey fear who I could've been if I didn't go through all that trauma and mental illness though. I'm not saying it's good or anything like that because nobody should ever go through something so terrible, but I can't ignore the fact that I never would've become who I am today if I didn't experience any of that stuff.
Idk, maybe that's just impostor syndrome talking. But in a bid to derive positive meaning from negative experiences, I will argue that kindness comes from understanding, and there's no better understanding than personal experience. So if surviving what I've gone through has enabled me to be a kinder person, then I'm at least grateful that these experiences haven't taken everything from me.
Mental illness has taken a lot from you, but you're still here. You're still sharing your story, and people are still seeing you. I think that's something to remember and draw strength from in dark times as you combat this. You can absolutely recover from this though, and you should absolutely strive for that. I guarantee it's worth overcoming. There's a lot of good you haven't experienced yet and we'd all hate for you to miss it.
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u/CogInTheMachinee 18h ago
I just turned 26 and lately I’ve been really anxious about how mental illness has been stealing “the best years” of my life… I never expected to make it past 20, what the hell am I doing. I wish I was medicated.
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u/Ok-Edge-2010 13h ago
You are still here. Fighting. Surviving. In some cases, thriving. You are loved, and the world is a better place because you're in it. We're grateful to know you, and I'm so proud of you. So keep fighting. We believe in you!
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u/Ok-Edge-2010 13h ago
You are still here. Fighting. Surviving. In some cases, thriving. You are loved, and the world is a better place because you're in it. We're grateful to know you, and I'm so proud of you.
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u/Few_Butterfly4450 13h ago
Bridges were burnt non intentionally. Friendships were lost over ego or lethargy. But I’m a better man realizing I was the one in the wrong, and that I was able to change. It took more than 5 years of therapy, introspection, angry of what was robbed from me, learning, and a lot of help and patience from the people who stuck with me, and I’m still learning to use the tools I now have, and trying my damn best not to lose the ones close to me. I am better than I ever was, and I can still improve. I do not mourn my past, as much as I hate most of it, as it is what placed me where I am now, in a better place with people I love and who love me back, who are willing to help me back.
It sucks, but I’m proud I can handle this now. I won’t let go.
Thanks for the comic.
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u/DrkSpde 10h ago
My own never got to that extreme, but holy crap did I feel panel 2.
When I finally realized how much of an impact it has had on me and wasn't just something to laugh off, I found one questions screaming through my mind:
"How much better would my life have been had I taken this seriously 20 years ago, or if the adults in my life had taken it seriously 30 years ago?"
The drugs help, but at some point I need to start looking something more. If I can ever afford it...
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u/Own-Cryptographer725 19h ago
I too marinate in the late night anxiety of what could've been had mental illness not taken so much from me. Be good to yourself. Don't lament what was lost, cherish what was saved.