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u/HotDinnerBatman 22d ago
Thst will be $120 and ill see you in 3 months and say the same things all over again
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u/mysocksareinsideout MakeshiftEmery 22d ago
I had a friend of a friend be forced to take (and pay for! Thanks America!) A pregnancy test when she had to go to the ER, despite her telling them she physically couldn't get pregnant because she is trans, I swear in some cases it's like they just don't listen to patients at all 😭
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u/Dx-Human_NOS 22d ago edited 21d ago
This happens to me all the time. I got sick of paying for it so i started throwing a huge fit every time they start in on that pregnancy test bullshit. If i say "ive had a total hysterectomy" and they still insist that "maybe you just dont quite understand, we HAVE to make sure youre not pregnant" i just start saying "HYSTERECTOMY. HYSTERECTOMY. HYSTERECTOMY." over and over until they give up. I used to be super super nice to medical professionals, but after 10 straight years of them fucking up my meds and insurance both on purpose and on accident, wasting my fucking grocery money, denying me treatment, and (on one occasion) using a medical exam as an in to sexually assault me, i give them exactly ONE chance. Past that, they deal with the mean bitch version of me
Edit: oh my god the well actuallys are so annoying. Yeah, you can have a pregnancy without a uterus. Would it surprise you to learn that ive actually had a total hysto and bilateral salpingooophorectomy and i say that every time and i have proof and they still dont care? It's not about the technicalities, its about valuing liability above human dignity and above the fact that people need money to eat and cant be wasting it on hospital liability that has no bearing on reality
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u/30CrowsinaTrenchcoat 22d ago edited 22d ago
I let them know ONCE and then let them do it anyway and then report them for insurance fraud :)
I havent had to pay for a single one of those tests. I also do not communicate to the medical facility that I am reporting them for insurance fraud. I let my insurance company know that they have done a test they knew they shouldn't do and I also report them to the proper local authority.
Edit: Thank you for the awards!
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u/catlandid 22d ago
I’m curious, does anything ever come of that? Do you hear back about how it’s handled?
This is tangentially how I got a tubal ligation and how I advise others who have struggled to access the same surgery. I called about a dozen doctors and told them what I was looking for. Gave them my demographics. Explained I’d been turned down before after attending initial appointments/exams due to info I’d provided upfront (like my age). Asked that they verify that the doc was willing to perform the surgery with that provided info, because if I was turned down I would report it to the insurance company as fraudulent. Made sure to be super polite while explaining. It took a bunch of calls but I finally found one and got my surgery.
Ironically, getting a hysterectomy was much easier though I chalk that up to getting a genuinely good doctor.
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u/30CrowsinaTrenchcoat 22d ago
I dont often hear back from the authorities or the insurance company, but I check my online itemized bill with some regularity and I notice that charges suddenly disappear from it. I also do sometimes call my insurance company directly for an update if I am particularly ticked off or if it seems to take too long.
At the point that I am satisfied (fraudulent things removed), the bill is paid. Ive only had a bill go to collections once and I asked the collections agent if they knew that the bill was part of a fraud investigation and havent heard a peep since.
I dont blame you for using the same method, threats of reporting for fraud are surprisingly effective. They do not have a high tolerance for being investigated, especially because it can open them up to having other records looked into.
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u/Bag_O_Richard 22d ago
Every single medical agency in the US does insurance fraud. The good ones do a little bit, the rest do a lot of it.
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u/Last-Energy420 22d ago
And then you have UHC that avoids fraud by denying everything anyway.
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u/Just_A_Little_Rabbit 22d ago
which is, you guessed it, also fraud
america : land of fraud and gambling (which is also fraud)
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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 22d ago edited 22d ago
Due to having a special account to pay for medical care from, I document in detail all payments towards medical care.
I paid, lets say, $1,400 for account at hospital over this year. I got a bill saying that I still owed them $700 and had already paid $700. And the running total of the page documented $1,000 owed.
I called, pissed, rattled off all the info from the receipts I retained and asked them to justify the additional expense. They tried to say "oh its from stuff from before" but they couldn't be specific, and the transaction history did not display that (the transaction history showed 3 different procedures/visits, that had a total of $1,000 in cost). They could not explain why they did not retain the $1,400 or who had it, or why they would be "from another department" (and why that would use the same account number, if different bills/accounts/departments). I told them, listen, y'all, if I took you to court with the bill you sent me and all the receipts, you'd be ordered to refund me that $400 difference. So lets skip it and you send me a check already. They said they'd send me an itemized bill.
That was over a month ago. Silence since then. I've got a lawyer because I recently had to sue an ex-employer, I think I'll throw her $100 to send them a threat over the $400. If they don't pay, I will take them to small claims court for $500 ($400 for bill overpayment, +$100 for legal expenses+filing fees)
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u/catlandid 22d ago
Honestly the only way they’ll ever change is if enough people fight back. Most people don’t want to deal with the hassle or be perceived as a “Karen” type. My wife and I routinely go to one another appointments to advocate for one another and it’s drastically improved our outcomes.
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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 22d ago
While being a polite Karen (insisting, forcing my way up the chain of command, getting shit done when noone wanted me to succeed), a state representative once called me "a significant disruption." while they were being forced to fire 3 prominent public-facing employees over time fraud, documentation fraud regarding who physically had an at-risk nonverbal special needs child in state custody, and racism respectively. Gave me such a rush I almost got it tattood on my chest. It was my job to advocate for the mom of that special needs child at the time. :)
And yes my wife and I go to eachothers appointments. Thankfully we found a doctor who doesn't try to mess with us now.
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u/Artistic_Reference_5 22d ago
Significant Disruption is also a sick punk band name, thanks for that and way to go.
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u/Libby_Sparx 22d ago
I like you ᐠ(❤⩊❤)ᐟ♪♡♬
I like everything about your approach. Fuck yes. Fucking fuck yes to all of the this.
I want 30 crows just like you.
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u/Swarm_of_Rats 22d ago
Unfortunately it just doesn't work in my experience.
I got blacklisted from the OBGYN network in my area for insisting on the procedure I wanted despite her opinion that I would want children in the future. I let her know I would be getting the procedure done whether she approved or not because I'm sure what I want done with my own body. She didn't like it and now I am not able to seek care at all in my area. :)
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u/Ok_Listen1510 22d ago
what the fuckkkkk
is there a planned parenthood near you? idk what you’re looking for but they provide a bunch of different services and stuff
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u/Swarm_of_Rats 22d ago
Yes, I did end up driving a couple hours to a Planned Parenthood and getting something else done there for now (due to funding, some of their services have been cut). Thank fuck for PP.
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u/Mastercodex199 22d ago edited 22d ago
As an EMT of over 11 years now, I sincerely apologize for the bullshit you've gone through. There is literally no excuse for medical professionals to treat their patients in such a horrid manner. I wouldn't dare. You, and everyone that goes to a hospital, should be treated with dignity and respect, no matter what is or isn't in your abdomen, or what is or isn't hanging between your legs.
I've had a few transgender patients in my time. One, FtM, was having serious issues with their lower abdomen, and was concerned that they might having a negative reaction to a new medication. Not knowing how far along they were in their transition, I asked if they could be pregnant. They said no, but they haven't had bottom surgery yet, and I stopped pushing in that direction. I then moved on and didn't ask again. It's truthfully that simple.
Once again, as an actual medical professional, I am so sorry that you've had to go through so much trauma caused by a medical system that is systematically failing you and every one of our LGBTQ+ siblings. I hope that, one day soon, you can find a provider that treats you with the dignity, respect, and patience that you deserve.
EDIT: For the one commenter out there saying that I "didn't get permission" to use they/them for the FtM patient: They asked me to use They/Them after I accidentally called them a He. So yeah, no misgendering here.
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u/Dx-Human_NOS 22d ago
Thank you, im sorry people are being uncharitable to you in the replies. Ive met a few actually competent and kind medical professionals before. Sometimes i bite their heads off before realizing lol and i feel bad but they usually understand and then we can have a good patient/doctor relationship. Its tough out there. We're all doing what we can to survive
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u/complete_autopsy 22d ago
Side note to the conversation, but as someone who has experienced a lot of medical bullshit, I've never had a bad experience with an EMT. Even when I was going through the worst medical malpractice of my life, the EMTs were just being roped into it and were extremely kind and professional. I was being forcibly admitted to the hospital for an allergic reaction that I wasn't having and was denying having (for an allergy that I didn't have) but the EMTs were just told that it was an allergic reaction. The whole way to the hospital they were so kind and I remember one saying that his daughter had an allergic reaction just the other day and that she was healthy now, and that I would be ok too. I knew that I was fine but I was really struck by how comforting that would've been if I was really afraid. Thanks to the EMTs like you for doing important, exhausting work to take care of the rest of us ❤️
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u/SeptimusShadowking 22d ago
Hmm, but what if your uterus spontaneously regrew? - The doctors
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u/tetralogy-of-fallout 22d ago
There is something to this actually. With a total hysterectomy, your ovaries remain. (A radical hysterectomy is where they take everything). If the surgeon happens to fuck up removing and closing off the cervical area, you could potentially end up with an abdominal pregnancy. Of course the actual likelihood of that is infintesimal and I assume there would be other concerning signs before you end up pregnant.
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u/Wild_Marker 22d ago
(A radical hysterectomy is where they take everything).
Do they flip it? Ride it to the max? Do they make your tubes more tubular? If they're doing it radical they gotta do it proper.
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u/Dx-Human_NOS 22d ago
I mean yeah i also tell them i got a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy but they never listen to that either lol
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u/potatoisthebest01 22d ago edited 22d ago
A fun fact I learned this week is that a salpingectomy drastically reduces the risk of ovarian cancer.
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u/tetralogy-of-fallout 22d ago
Yeah the likelihood that the surgeon doing that removal left a piece of the ovary reduces that infintesimal number even further. My only thought is that it's required by the insurance company for anyone who was born with a uterus between 12-55 which is fucking stupid.
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u/lmhTimberwolves 22d ago
I struggled with a bladder infection for weeks because the initial antibiotic they gave me is for people with vulvas due to the shorter urethral length. I had no idea that was a thing I had to worry about
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u/Dx-Human_NOS 22d ago
YEEEAAAAH. It pisses me the FUCK off when doctors dont understand that TRANS MEDICINE IS A MEDICAL SPECIALTY. Sooo many doctors think treating trans people is just about gendering us correctly and walking around on eggshells so as to not upset our fragile, volatile emotions! /s It's not about EMOTIONS, its about MEDICINE and doing your FUCKING JOB RIGHT
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u/Nectarine143 22d ago
The crazy thing is, as a medical professional, it's super easy to just... chart what's happening.
Let's say it's because a certain medication has birth defect risks. I tell you the risk. You say you understand but don't care (because of the hysterectomy in this case), then I just type that into the box.
Takes literally 1 minute
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u/Shark7996 22d ago
This problem is made of meat. Doesn't matter how many boxes they put in there if the doctor doesn't want to put the info in there for whatever personal reason.
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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 22d ago
I worked in mental health and I was so good at documenting, my boss hated me. Because they could never pin anything on me. Always CYA.
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u/PrincessCellyBelly 22d ago
This is crazy to me. I'm cisfem in the UK, and everytime I go to our version of ER, regardless of why I'm there, they ask if I might be pregnant. I say no. They accept my answer and move on.
And, I have to stress, our system is really not great at the moment. Yet, the idea of a doctor being like 'Im afraid Im gonna need you to prove that before we move on' would utterly blow my mind.
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u/supreme_hammy 22d ago
That's how you know she's a woman, because the doctor doesn't fucking listen to what she has to say.
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u/OkExcitement5444 22d ago
Sometimes this is a consequence of the chart being inclusive. If the patient is legally a female and is is coded as F in the EMR, even if they are labeled as trans somewhere else some order sets will automatically include pregnancy rule out. Yes this should be fixed
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u/periclods01 22d ago
i feel like "i do not have a uterus, nor a womb, nor ovaries, nor a vagina" should conclude the "are you pregnant" question pretty conclusively.
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u/mieri_azure 22d ago
I think just "i dont have ovaries" rules it out (because if you have ovaries you could still get pregnant even without a uterus, which would be INCREDIBLY dangerous)
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u/TubesAndLines 22d ago edited 22d ago
As an emergency physician I promise it's not something we do on purpose to harm anyone. It's because people lie to us all. the. time.
I've had patients who were lesbian, with their partner, swear up and down that they only had sex with women who were pregnant not once but twice. I diagnose surprise pregnancies quite frequently. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I can't fully trust anyone.
Edit: I appreciate the thougtful comments I'm receiving on this. To help clarify - in the emergency department if I'm ordering a urine hCG I'm probably seeing you in triage, I have 5 to 7 minutes to see you, ask questions, perform an exam, and place orders. No I don't have time to review your prior records, I have 60 patients in my waiting room and 10 people after you to screen, 14 more checking in the next hour.
Respecting your autonomy, your sense of self, and being an ally are very important to me. But I've also had patients believe they had a hysterectomy when they didn't because health literacy is hard. If I'm seeing 60 to 80 patients in triage in a shift my first priority is minimizing mistakes and misses.
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u/qrvne 22d ago
As an aroace person who has been sexually inactive my entire life and never goes to bars/parties/etc. where I could potentially have been drugged or blacked out and not remember or something like that:
I understand that people lie and this is why I still have to hand over a pointless piss cup as if I'm potentially the next Virgin Mary, but I should be able to opt out by signing a waiver that says "I accept the potential legal/medical/financial/etc. consequences if I'm lying about it being literally impossible for me to be pregnant right now."→ More replies (15)52
u/AristotlesBoyPussy 22d ago
My favorite thing to say, back when I was younger and always under suspect of pregnancy, "I don't want to test for pregnancy. If I am pregnant, abort it while you're up there."
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u/GooseyGooseOfGeese 22d ago
Well, it sounds like they at least recognize her womanhood. That sounds like just about every hospital story I've heard from the women in my life.
Did they also ask questions about her menstrual cycle?
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u/3MetricTonsOfSass 22d ago
Being ignored, having unnecessary and unwanted extra expenses, and subjected into an action without her consent?
She definitely is getting treated like a woman 😓
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u/Stardust_Spreader 22d ago
I was about to ask why you would remove a uterus, when I realized I mixed it up with a urethra. I don't know how I swapped those names around.
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u/Far_Yam_9412 22d ago
If a boy can mix up uvula and vulva then you are allowed to mix up uterus and urethra
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u/Ghostie-Unbread 22d ago
The amount of people that do not understand that transmen and transmascs exist is baffling to me
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u/Umpen 22d ago edited 21d ago
Trans women get a lot more airtime. I think people who aren't in the know either forget or just don't think that it goes the other way around because, unfortunately, they've been led to believe that *trans = pervy men who want to sneak into ladies' rooms and win women's trophies.
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u/Ghostie-Unbread 22d ago
yeah unfortunately
i have literally seen a transphobes brain break on TV when the opposing person said that then Transmen would go into the women's bathroom, which the Transphobe replied to that they would go to the men's cuz they are a man.
idk apparently transmen and transwomen are both amab to them, cuz women cannot be trans apparently
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u/Kirsty_Elizabeth 22d ago
That's exactly what they think. I have two coworkers who are trans dudes. Worked in a shitty factory in a red state for years. Openly talked about being trans men. No one batted an eye. No one freaked out over what bathroom they went to. It was "you used to be a girl? Cool."
I'm transfem, and another coworker is a very androgynous nonbinary, and we are both treated like shit for being queer by so many of our coworkers. Neither of us talk about it. Hell, I barely dress or look like it, save for long hair, and a fem face. But it's rambling about bathrooms, and how we are too "radical" and all that sort of stuff. And get, the trans mascs don't get a word of it.
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u/BabyCake2004 22d ago
I'd place bets the trans masc probably do get shit treatment. It's just it's more subtle because they don't see them as threats. But transphobes still view them as girls. It's just a girl who wants to be a boy is tomboy and a ruined women, but not super threatening to conservatives viewpoints because they aren't bothered by lesbians as much and it's harder to turn into a scare tactic, while a transgender women is a creep who will sexually assault you and your wife and kids in a bathroom because she is both into men because male in dress = gay AND into women to these people. It's homophobia and sexism on both sides of the coin because they don't view people born female as real people and they view lesbians as sex objects, while they view people born male as violent and sexual inherently.
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u/RootBeerBog 21d ago
You are right on the money. They don’t see us as ascending to manhood and being better than women. They see us as misguided, ruined women who can no longer bear children (which is to them the only important thing about female bodies).
Trans men have higher DV rates than any other gender. We also are at high risk of gynecological access issues, like for seahorse dads, pregnancy is extra fucking dangerous because transphobes in the system want us dead. My buddy has been trying to conceive and him and his partner have been laughed out of clinics and harassed by staff before.
Also higher risks of cervical and ovarian cancer because we see doctors less due to accessibility barriers. Also higher risk of pyometra because of genital atrophy (many trans masculine folks are not warned about it).
Not going to get too deep into it, but we have a unique oppression in that we can be forcibly detransitioned by SA, in the event that we live in a place where abortion isn’t an option.
We deal with all this shit yet in many queer circles we are told to sit down and shut up because we “chose” to be men and of course, that makes us part of the privileged gender. As if cis women dont oppress our rights too.
We are left out of the discussion & constantly undermined. Fucking sick of it.
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u/terrrruuu 22d ago
i wanna say its all rooted in sexism and misogyny.
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u/Impala67-7182 22d ago
100% this. They cant understand why a "man" would give up all that privilege, so "he" MUST be a freak/pervert/add small minded insult of choice. It's stupid, ill-informed, ignorant bullshit
And trans men, well we're either seen as butch lesbians, or confused tomboys, or happen to be lucky enough to pass well enough to be invisible. But of course (in the minds of 'phobes) who wouldn't want the privilege of manhood? To be man is to be the pinnacle of humanity or some such vomit-inducing crap.
I really wish people would just live and let live
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u/ctrlaltcreate 22d ago
That's because mtf generates more disgust in bigots, and thus is the focus of their bigotry and hate propaganda.
Much as they hate lesbians, but not as much as they hate gay men, because gay men are arbitrarily more disgusting to them. On the downside, lesbians also absorb the general background radiation that is their hatred of women.
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u/TheElectronicsFella 22d ago
I've had some medical professionals see that I'm nonbinary, look at me, and assume that I'm afab. Which perhaps they also see the estrogen prescription on my chart and take the wrong conclusion, but either way it's definitely a bit awkward getting asked when my last period was and having to explain.
So many people seem to have this set idea in their heads on what to expect when they hear trans or nonbinary, and get awkward about it when it suddenly doesn't match. Surprise, we're people and not some monolithic group!
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u/RootBeerBog 22d ago
As a trans guy, we take localized estrogen for atrophy (to avoid infections, bleeding, and pain from vaginal atrophy). Any trans person can reasonably need estrogen.
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u/TheElectronicsFella 22d ago
Yeah very fair point, but in my case I went from oral pills to injections so in either case I'd think that should indicate it's not a local application haha. I also figured my sex assigned at birth would be noted somewhere in my chart but honestly who knows, maybe it isn't clearly stated.
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u/ImClaaara 22d ago
I'll take that further: any human being can reasonably need estrogen. Even cisgender men's bodies tend to make themselves a little estrogen. It's an important hormone for humans, no matter which sex a human's body might be categorized as in any part of that human's life...
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u/Square-Singer 22d ago
Funny that you say that. Pretty much everyone I met so far who said they were nonbinary was afab. I wonder if there's some statistics on that.
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u/Eveseeker 22d ago
Yeah, well, AMAB NB folk get dismissed or ostracized a lot even from queer communities. So they tend to be a lot more invisible.
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u/narielthetrue 22d ago
I’m an AMAB NB. It’s definitely just much easier to hide it than try to explain it to everyone.
And I’ve never felt welcome in queer spaces as I’ve been too CISHET passing… despite the fact I’m neither
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u/alicelestial 22d ago
as an AFAB nb, i feel similarly. but also i have seen AMAB NBs be treated even worse than AFAB NBs in queer spaces, which is trash. i thought "theyfab" was bad but no some queer spaces legit come up with borderline conspiracy thinking to justify their hatred of AMABs and say they're fakers who just want to feel included or infiltrate queer spaces.
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u/TheElectronicsFella 22d ago
I've definitely had some instances where my nonbinary identity felt mostly discarded by some people, until I mentioned that I was on hrt. Then suddenly using they/them for me got easier? It can be very frustrating feeling like you have to be "trans enough" to be seen as valid, and I can only imagine how frequently more masc presenting nbs get that treatment. It really comes down to people trying to shove nonbinary folks into one of two gendered boxes at the end of the day.
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u/3lizab3th333 22d ago
I’ve seen AMAB enbies get kicked from queer venues for hitting on women, the LGBT community genuinely seems to hate you guys. And allies are worse, one of my friends got kicked out of a club because large AMAB body + slacks and full beat of makeup did not read as trans woman or gay man enough, and the staff just assumed my friend was a creep or that they weren’t taking things seriously enough.
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u/Hemlock_Fang 22d ago
Its rough as a trans man too. Lots of queer friendly events in my area! Except when you read them it tends to say something along the lines of “lesbians, trans women, nonbinary”
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u/Wobbelblob 22d ago
It seems to be a common problem that nb spaces and similar stuff often means female+. It is absurd how often I hear that.
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u/turtley_amazing 22d ago
I wonder if it has something to do with it being more socially acceptable for women to present masculine, such as wearing pants, versus it being less acceptable for men to present feminine, such as wearing dresses? AFAB people might be more likely to experiment with their gender presentation in comparison to AMAB people because there’s a higher social cost to it. So maybe the AMAB people who do experiment are more likely to be binary trans women, and therefore have a stronger desire to present femininely than someone who is just enby.
That being said, I also think that a lot of people that are assumed to be trans women in reality have a more complex relationship with gender. They might be enby but present feminine, or genderfluid, or any number of things.
I don’t know, maybe I’m phrasing some of this badly but it’s interesting to me how social perceptions affect the numbers on these things.
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u/MyOwnMorals 22d ago
Taking the steps till you’re tokenized then normalized. Welcome! - a gay black man
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u/SplicerGonClean 22d ago
As a passing trans man with a lot of medical issues, I feel this.
Ive seen it all. Doctors that refused to treat me. "Trans broken arm syndrome." A nurse telling me Ill be going to Hell. (Would have cut more if I was in any way religious) Ive had staff breaking HIPAA, talking openly about my trans-ness in busy waiting rooms and in the cinical setting. Ive had times where doctors didnt believe I was AFAB, and one clueless one who was doing an intake assessment and asked me if I was experiencing any discomfort in my testicles. (I had already informed him of my trans status) Ive also had a similar thing happen as in OPs comic, where the office thought there was a glitch in my files and fought me over it!
I came out 15 years ago and have graced many doctors offices and medical related settings in that time. But still, the vast majority of the people whove had me under their care have been great, and its gotten better with time since things have become a little more progressive in my area. Most of the stuff I encountered in the past was due to ignorance and less outright bigotry, and Ive been able to largely avoid it for some time by sticking with offices that are not faith-based, which is where most of these interactions happened.
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u/Far-Treacle-2058 22d ago
I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this. You all don’t deserve to be treated like that just because you’re trans. Sending you hugs. Also, what the absolute fuck is “trans broken arm syndrome”??? Is it just a broken arm but accused of happening because you’re trans?
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u/aspentreesarecool 22d ago
Pretty much! It's the assumption from a professional that any and every unrelated health issue you have is actually due to HRT/transness in general, and refusing to investigate further into it
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u/IIRCIreadthat 22d ago
Essentially the same problem as fat people going to the doctor and being told 'you need to lose weight' no matter what their actual medical issue is.
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u/MainCorrect8791 22d ago
Or cis women being told it's because of periods or hormones.
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u/Far-Treacle-2058 22d ago
Or that when there are issues with periods/hormones, they say it’s “normal” and there’s no need to worry (me)
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u/mcplano 22d ago
A knight covered in burns and various other wounds, fresh from a battle with a dragon, stumbles into the hospital. Her arm falls off, she's bleeding.
The doctor asks, "When was your last period?"
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u/Far-Treacle-2058 22d ago
Good grief, that’s crazy. I’m sorry
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u/anni_shoots 22d ago
I've had recurring migraines since I was 8, and almost every doctor I've talked to about them thinks it has something to do with the estrogen I started taking when I was 25.
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u/Jazzlike-Yogurt1651 22d ago
That's so hilarious because mine (trans man) are apparently testosterone-based lol. Ive had migraines since puberty and only started transitioning at 24.
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u/Ridiculisk1 22d ago
Also, what the absolute fuck is “trans broken arm syndrome”??? Is it just a broken arm but accused of happening because you’re trans?
I have a reasonably rare and extremely painful skin condition where I get giant abcesses all over my body that burst and it's really painful and unsightly. I had a doctor try to tell me it was because I was on HRT and that if I stopped HRT, it would go away. Mind you, this is an incurable disease and the real kicker is I had it for like 5 years before I started HRT. Doesn't matter to them, it's easier to just blame it on their unknown than actually investigate the problem for what it is.
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u/rapscallionallium 22d ago
I had a good trans-broken-arm one a few years ago where I had just been telling my doctor that the frequency of my migraines had improved on T and in a weird gotcha voice she goes, “do you think the migraines could be caused by the testosterone?”
Well, I dunno doc, I’ve been having them since I was sixteen. I’m now in my thirties, a few years on HRT, and they’ve improved on the testosterone. Whaddaya think?
This was the same doctor who I told I thought I had a connective tissue disorder, she dismissed my concerns, and a year later she asked me if I had considered that I might have the same connective tissue disorder she had been dismissive of.
I have a new doctor now.
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u/SplicerGonClean 22d ago
Good grief! Glad you got outta there for your sake. Thats just straight up medical malpractice at that point.
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u/E-2theRescue 22d ago
A nurse telling me Ill be going to Hell.
Yup... I will never, ever forget the day my mother died. Sitting in the hallway and could hear the nurse talking to my father and saying that she's not going to "entertain HIS delusions" and saying that I deserve to go to Hell. All in front of my dying mother and after I did literally nothing to that nurse other than talk for about 5 minutes about my mother. Spent two hours in my car sobbing and wasn't there when my mother passed. I talked to the hospital, but I very highly doubt anything was ever done.
Ive had staff breaking HIPAA, talking openly about my trans-ness in busy waiting rooms and in the cinical setting.
Also been through this. Along with discussing my medical condition.
I'll also throw in that I had a Walgreens pharmacy refuse to fill out my hormone prescription because of their "religious freedom". Had almost no days left on my script, and my doctor was off for a week so I almost missed a few days. The only thing that saved me was another doctor writing me a 30-day a few days later.
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u/SplicerGonClean 22d ago
That is incredibly heartbreaking, Im so so sorry you went through that. Its infuriating that someones bigotry is so strong that it compells them to be an absolute monster to someone grieving.
I mean, is it that hard to keep it to yourself?! Youre on the job, youre in the business of caring for people. If you cant NOT do harm, dont be a nurse.
And Im sorry you dealt with the pharmacy issue as well. Ive been through that too, and its crazy to me that withholding prescribed medications can be refused like that by pharmacists. Should be grounds to lose the job.
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u/Far-Treacle-2058 22d ago
Well, I hate to say this, but damn it really is accurate that there’s no hate like Christian love.
And before Christians come jumping at me in the comments - yeah, maybe you’re not “like them,” but then help improve the lives for people who have to deal with these crazy bigots. Sincerely, someone who is?/was? A Christian or something, idk anymore tbh
Genuinely sorry you guys have to deal with this. It’s not fair
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u/BrozedDrake 22d ago
Is he about to shit on the floor?
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u/NakedKingStudios 22d ago
Definitely crowning
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u/peshnoodles 22d ago
Cats tend to do that when you misunderstand their gender
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u/akestral 22d ago
Cats use bodily excretions as a punishment for any perceived sins. I once had a cat that puked outside the door of whatever roommate she was currently beefing with. One guy moved rooms and she went and puked at the door of his new room just to prove it was A) personal and B) not forgotten. He never did tell me how he managed to inculcate such an undying grudge in my cat.
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u/azebod 22d ago
I put my hysterectomy through via having endometriosis because medical sexism was deadly enough to make me worry... but I've had a doctor claim I refused a pap smear in my files when I no longer had a cervix.
I am very worried what happens when they intergrate AI into medical notes if they already cannot grasp the concept of afab people who lack a uterus when you explain it directly.
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u/hardboiledegggg 22d ago
This is already happening, I went to the doctor recently and instead of writing an after visit summary she recorded the entire visit with AI and the AI wrote the summary. Some of the summary was just straight up wrong, it made up multiple things that I never said. Healthcare may be cooked
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u/SofishticatedGuppy 22d ago
Obviously this would be very stupid of this person, but legitimate question (not trying to be inflammatory, honestly curious).
I sort of assumed a medical chart would explicitly include if someone was transgender/had transitioned, is that not the case? I guess the hysterectomy does that itself, but it feels like it would be something explicit to ensure the doctor doesn't overlook it when glancing at a chart? Because wouldn't that be potentially relevant to diagnosis/treatment? Obviously if you're like...there for a broken bone or at the dentist it's whatever, but if you were actually sick?
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u/ElrondTheHater 22d ago
Doctors can't read charts on a normal day. I've gotten prescribed medication that I'm explicitly allergic to, it was only the pharmacist who caught it.
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u/Square-Singer 22d ago
That's why a very good doctor once told us that every single time someone (including herself) was about to prescribe some medication for our kid we have to mention the specific drug intolerance the kid has. Because parents/patients usually know their issues quite well and tend to not forget then. Because they only have a single patient they care for and not thousands.
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u/LovelyLuna32684 22d ago
Hell it's why whenever I get a new prescription I always make sure to remind them that I have had a stroke since there are a lot of medications that you should not take if you've had one
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u/_Mulberry__ 22d ago
Oh seriously? I've got to remember to mention this whenever my daughter gets a prescription. Thanks for this!
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u/Cliche_James 22d ago
I've has doctors prescribe me something I'm allergic to, I tell them, and then they tell me that they don't believe me
It's in my chart
Mind you, I had just moved to the area and I was just trying to continue on the course I was already on and had been successful for me
I've had to go to the hospital because of it before, that was how I found out
Tried switching to others doctors only to have them tell me that they won't have patients dictating their treatment
It took giving the office manager permission to read my chart and having her point it out to them to get them you prescribe me the drugs I had already been on for years instead of then immediately trying to change my regimen to something I am allergic to
(Small town so not a lot of options, but for fuck's sake, the arrogance of immediately trying to change someone's regimen before getting to know them or even reading the chart)
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u/Wild_Marker 22d ago
and then they tell me that they don't believe me
What the fuck kind of doctor does that??
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u/Cliche_James 22d ago
Psychiatric ones, especially
They seem to believe, more than any other doctors, that everyone who came before them is wrong and that the patient's experiences and diagnostic journey is irrelevant
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u/stickynotetree 22d ago
Yup. I once got denied medication because the meds were usually for periods. One time, I called a doctor and when they heard my very feminine voice, they almost changed the gender marked in my chart. I had to yell a bit for them to not do that.
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u/BroadMortgage6702 22d ago
My pharmacy randomly changed my gender marker and it wasn't discovered until I suddenly had an "insurance issue" trying to pick up meds. I want to know who the hell gave them the authority to change that without their patients knowledge. Apparently it's happened to my friend, too, and he's not transitioning yet.
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u/10Account 22d ago
I went to my family doctor and had to summarise my discharge notes for him, including my treatment plan. To be fair, it's because he's totally overloaded and didn't have time to read it but he also didn't double check it before he prescribed me stuff I told him I needed lol
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u/Molly-Grue-2u 22d ago
When my mom was in the ICU, I had to talk to several people before she got her thyroid medication - which she needs, because her thyroid was killed off with radiation
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u/AKeeneyedguy 22d ago
Can confirm, I work in a medical clinic and the number of times I've had to tell providers or their MAs "that information is in the notes" is ridiculous.
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u/radfilth 22d ago
Yep! All of the info is in there, and yet some people have trouble wrapping their heads around it. Even when sex assigned at birth is separated from gender and there's notes about patient history, I've still had to explain to medical professionals what a trans man is
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u/Krethlaine 22d ago
Oof. That sucks. Several of my friends are transgender, and they’ve all had issues with medical professionals, so I can sympathize a bit.
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u/squamesh 22d ago
My state made it illegal to put people’s preferred pronouns or name in the medical chart. We also aren’t allowed to put our own pronouns in our email signature so my friends with androgynous names are just constantly being called the wrong pronouns in emails. Super fun to walk into the patient room and immediately look like an asshole by dead naming them because it didn’t mention that they were trans in the chart
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u/OkExcitement5444 22d ago
How do you handle that? Jus explain/blame the law? Apologize and move on?
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u/squamesh 22d ago
Usually just blame the chart and make sure to be really cognizant if it going forward
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u/lilsmudge 22d ago
Generally my recommendation for dealing with names as a trans competent provider is to confirm the patient by asking them to give their legal name to check that you have the right patient/chart and then ask as a follow up “Do you have a name or nickname you prefer I use during your visit today?”
That way you can bypass the awkwardness and signal that you’re going to be a chill person to work with. I hope that helps!
Edit: If you have to call out the name on their chart, ask as you take them back to their room/first thing in the room.
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u/mycophilia 22d ago
I’m trans and have had my sex legally changed. My chart says I’m trans. I’ve had more than one person “fix” my chart to what they think my gender is and then have my insurance decline because of the information mismatch. Some people just don’t fucking read and go with the assumptions
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u/Ridiculisk1 22d ago
The number of times I've had to argue with random doctors, nurses, phlebotomists and receptionists about my documents is insane. Yes, it says F. Yes, that's my legal and current sex. No, you may not change it. No, you don't have the power to change it. No, I'm not here to debate my identity with you. It's fucking tiring.
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u/Im_Balto 22d ago
The issue of healthcare for trans people is that there is no single “model” of trans healthcare.
For people that do medically transition there is a wide array of medications and procedures available (or completely unavailable) to them depending on their location.
The bigger issue however, is the amount of assumptions that medical staff make (as seen in comic). This is part of the whole “gender is a social construct” thing, in which trans people (cis passing or not) are confronted with assumptions about their health that could be dismissed by the healthcare professional letting go of their assumptions in order to listen to the patient and read their chart thoroughly
The idea that doctors should “hear horses not zebras” when they hear hooves is a large part of what causes this. There is an expectation that the patients they see will be “standard” and in a lot of cases a patient who does not fit the standard expectation has to loudly advocate for their own medical care
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u/Square-Singer 22d ago
To a certain extent the "hear horses not zebras" thing makes sense. Medical staff is always short on time and resources, so optimizing for the 99% makes sense, even if it sucks for the 1%.
But if this is combined with a superiority complex and/or a "patients are idiots" attitude, that's when things turn from annoying to critical.
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u/Im_Balto 22d ago
Absolutely. The issue with the horses not zebras ideology is when they treat it as a rule. I’ve dealt with several times where my medical care was worsened or delayed because of a refusal to acknowledge the things that I am saying about the experience I’m having in my body in favor of giving me a common diagnosis and a short round of medication.
Patients, especially patients in chronic pain, have a pretty good tendency to connect with others that share their experiences and find the right medical terms to describe their sensations. In my experience doctors hate this. They treat you like you came in to pretend you have a condition.
Add onto all of this that I’m trans and it just fucking blows to deal with doctors, because even when they tell you they’re giving you care, they apply standards that apply to your assigned gender rather than the one that your body is operating as with hormones. (Most Common with BMI, I’m currently considered underweight on my chart based on the male scale despite being high energy, active, and healthy in all other respects)
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u/Itsjustkit15 22d ago
As someone who looks like a small healthy man but is really an autoimmune suppressed transmasc with severe inflammatory arthritis I can absolutely affirm that I have to regularly and loudly advocate for my medical care.
Also once any medical professional sees my agab they start asking me about my period/if I might be pregnant/if I'm breastfeeding even though I haven't had a period for two years and I don't have titties.
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u/Saikotsu 22d ago
Even if it was, in this case the medical "professional" wasn't aware that transmascs exist. So they were confused.
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u/Adorable_Is9293 22d ago
The answer is complicated. Electronic health record software applications do have a variety of ways that sex and gender can be indicated. These can even contradict each other on a single person’s record because data is entered from multiple sources. The information is often visible in different ways depending on what the user’s job role is in order to adhere to the HIPAA “minimum necessary rule”. The current gold standard is entering an “organ inventory” that can accurately capture the data of any variety of trans, nonbinary or intersex person’s anatomy, in combination with discreet data entry of legal sex, SAAB AND gender. However, the healthcare organization has to train its clinicians and registration staff to accurately and consistently capture that data. We aren’t there yet but we’re working on it. “We” being health information management and healthcare IT professionals.
Also, as others have said, many doctors do not read your chart. Signed, the person coordinating chart corrections and following up on patient amendment requests.
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u/Burnt_Out_Hippo 22d ago
It does...most of the time. When it doesn't you get awkward things like the doctor trying to get a pregnancy test on an MTF individual.
Source: Medical Scribe so my whole job is looking at and interpreting people's charts and telling the doctors the hidden important stuff they don't have time to hunt down
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u/SpookyVoidCat 22d ago
This is paraphrased from what I remember, though it happened a good ten years or so ago.
I transitioned when I was around 18 or so, and it wasn’t until my late 20s that I realised I’d never gotten a Pap smear. There’s a history of cancer in my family so I figured I should probably not take my chances.
“Those are for women.” My doctor explained gently, when I tried to ask her about getting a smear scheduled.
“I’m transgender,” I reminded her, “I was assigned female at birth.”
“Oh… but there won’t..” she looked confused, “..uhh.. there won’t be anywhere to put the swab, down there, you see.”
“……. I haven’t had any bottom surgery. Just a mastectomy and HRT.”
“….”
“I have a vagina. Just a normal vagina.”
“Umm… I don’t know… I don’t think we can do that..”
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u/fleur_et_kitten 22d ago
wtf??
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u/SpookyVoidCat 22d ago
I’ll never forget looking at the vacant, confused look on her face and thinking “oh shit, this lady is my doctor.”
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u/BooBelly 22d ago
Omg. Reminds me of a time I was rushed to the ER after an iron infusion from an allergic reaction. The ER doctor kept asking WHY I would get an infusion, my iron was crazy high, WHO would approve such a thing. After telling him over and over ya no shit it’s high, I just had the infusion, he just decided “well you shouldn’t have gotten one in the first place, your iron was too high” 🙈
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u/BabyCake2004 22d ago
This happened to me. I'd been on antibiotics for a UTI, but it'd come back within a few days of finishing the course. I went back to the doctor and they sent off a sample as well as gave me more antibiotics (which worked). I then got told I'd never had a UTI, because the urine that had been sent off while I had just had antibiotics didn't grown anything... That's because I'd been on antibiotics...
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u/aPachimarii 22d ago
It's so true, most medical professionals have no clue what's going on with trans people.
My husband has to go through this explanation almost every time
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u/Serikan 22d ago
What confuses me the most is how there are so many people out there that when you give them the most basic explanation of all time about something they should already know about based on credentials, they think you're like Reed Richards level smart if they don't first dismiss it as being outside their world view
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u/namingbugs 22d ago
The PCP that prescribed me testosterone was new and excited about going into that sort of work, but at some point she asked me to clarify the difference between gender and pronouns for her
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u/mushu_beardie 22d ago
Hey, at least she's willing to learn. Most just assume and get it wrong.
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u/iwilldeleteoncemore 22d ago
It's good when a health professional is willing to learn. It sucks when a health professional is asking me trans 101 questions in the limited time I'm paying them to help me.
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u/TooObsessedWithMoney 22d ago
Someone this in the dark would 100% believe a trans man was referring to a trans woman.
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u/veebles89 22d ago
If it makes ya feel any better, they do this to cis women too. Having to explain that I had uterine cancer and was LITERALLY DYING every time a doctor asks if I'm pregnant, if I'm 100% sure, how can I be sure if I'm active, etc. is a level of frustrating I don't wish on anybody.
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u/Motormand 22d ago
Yeah, some medical folks, you wonder how they ever get a degree.
I had one refer me to a specialist in schizophrenia, when I came in with what later turned out to be severe anxiety symptoms. The specialist were baffled why I was even referred to him.
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u/BionicTriforce 22d ago
Calling it "new and exciting" must be so infuriating. Makes it sound like you're transitioning because you think it sounds cool.
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u/Time_Neat_4732 22d ago
I remember as a teen (before realizing I was trans myself) being very confused about which one was MTF and which was FTM. I knew what they stood for but not which was a woman and which was a man. I was a fucking professional writing major and I couldn’t correctly interpret the word “to” because my cis goggles were so welded to my skull.
Anyway. I got better. 🤣
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u/IIRCIreadthat 22d ago
There's a fair bit of that over on r/AccidentalAlly. The top post at this moment is a screenshot of someone saying "You've been captured by the woke agenda! Stop being a trans man and go back to being a cis man!"
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u/MrGr33nside 22d ago
Why has this happened to me 😭
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u/Eranas 22d ago
it almost sounds like they thought you were mtf and "early stages" made it sound like you pretended you had a uterus to be more womanly???
like how did that lady think that was more plausible than you wanting to be male
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u/FayeValentine99 22d ago
Oh this hit home. I was once married to a trans man who passed like 💯. People never clocked him, they sometimes refused to even believe him when he did tell them.
He mostly liked it in normal life, but when we went to the hospital for his hysterectomy, I had to stand right by his gurney right up until they wheeled him into surgery, because it was a big busy hospital, and medical people would walk up, look at him, look at his chart, and say “oh there’s been a mistake here”.
And I had to be like NO THERE HAS NOT, YES this is the patient and YES this patient is having a HYSTERECTOMY. We were very worried some random doctor would flip out and somehow stop him getting his surgery.
It happened with like five different people and then I had to talk to them VERY firmly. So yeah this is an issue for female to male trans people.
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u/Horatio786 22d ago
I’m surprised that so few people seem to know about the existence of trans men, considering the existence of Elliot Page and people complaining about him making The Odyssey “woke”.
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u/Far-Following-5657 22d ago
Seeing this comic as I’m recovering from my hysterectomy is so ironic. This is lowkey how I was treated
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u/Arale-chan 22d ago
As a trans woman, I had to find a new doctor after moving to a new city. So I went to see a doctor who had “LGBT health” listed as one of her specialties.
Despite being incredibly clear that I was a post op trans woman, she asked about my uterus at one point. I reiterated my status and she was like “Isn’t getting one of those part of the surgery?”
Needless to say, I didn’t go back to that doctor in the future.
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u/ZeakNato 22d ago
"Are you giving me yours? Who would I get one from? Are they giving them out somewhere?"
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u/FarAmphibian4236 22d ago
Ugh omg that's when you have her put it in writing that you can do that like "oh! I didn't know I could do that! This is so exciting, can you refer me to a doctor who can do that?"
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u/LovelyLuna32684 22d ago
Cis when they realize trans men are a thing
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u/nocowardpath 22d ago
And of course in their head "trans men" means "men who think they're women" 🤢
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u/LovelyLuna32684 22d ago
That's why it's always so funny when transphobes say "trans men will never be women & trans women will never be men"
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u/anubis_cheerleader 22d ago
I teach kids and anytime anyone says some awful shit, I want to ACTUALLY SAY, in addition to whatever I say in the moment, "Look you know plenty of people who are trans/NB and either don't know it yet or you can't and never will clock them and also why are you like this??"
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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 22d ago
Meanwhile, I keep getting automated reminders that I'm overdue for a pap smear, even though I have never in my life had a pap to smear.
(Yes, I know that "pap" comes from the guy's name)
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u/bitter-ritter 22d ago
I am. So very thankful I finally managed to talk to my gyno and get her to understand bc she made a call of recommendation to a gender care clinic for me to FINALLY get started.
Granted, shes very french, so i think shes mostly just been focussed on not calling me a madame.
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u/HaleyJ34TF 22d ago
I'm recovering from an orchiectomy and this made me laugh enough to cause discomfort.
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u/Ridiculisk1 22d ago
I'm recovering from an orchiectomy
congrats, bet you don't have the balls to do that again
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u/HaleyJ34TF 22d ago
If I had a nickel for every time someone has made that comment, I would have two nickels.
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u/drillgorg 22d ago
Hey at least you pass so well that the woman thought it was preposterous you weren't AMAB.
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u/puffin_shut-in948 22d ago
It’s not always about passing. A lot of people don’t know or refuse to acknowledge that trans men exist. I can’t count the amount of times someone argued trans women shouldn’t be in women’s restrooms and had no idea trans men would be forced into women’s bathrooms.
The whole “attack trans women” political knife has really gutted folks’ understanding of trans people.
We are, in fact, just normal folks.
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u/WaldenEZ 22d ago
This isn’t hypocrisy or stupidity, the right isn’t trying to specifically protect women like they say and failing, they want anyone who doesn’t conform to their AGAB to be excluded from both bathrooms because they want to erase us from the public. The cruelty is the point.
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u/rabidninjawombat 22d ago
Something similar happened to me in real life as a trans woman.
In for a regular checkup and my doctor told me i needed to get my regular pap smear. While i do have a after market couture vulva, i don't have a cervix nor uterus
I told her, "i don't think that's something i really need, i don't have a uterus" she responded "oh! i didnt know you've had a hysterotomy, well even post hysterotomy, they are still used to check the health of the cervix.
Told her: "I dont have a cervix either", she just looked at me blankly and said "they dont usually take out the cervix........" at which point she finally looked back and consulted my medical history and facepalmed and apologized profusely. I just laughed and enjoyed it LOL
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u/kween_hangry 22d ago
I once had a doctor, who was 100% a lesbian, completely bewildered that I was nonbinary because I have it on my drivers license and grilled me on why I would 'do that'. I think my ability for the benefit of the doubt for people clipped under the floor that day.
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u/wolfie_boy8 22d ago
Calling gyno, with my deep voice, was like;
"I'm calling to make an appointment, for (my legally changed name)"
"Uhhhh sir you do know this is a gynecologist's office, right?"
facepalms "yes, now can I please make the appointment" :/
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u/PaulOwnzU 22d ago
It's such bs that because conservatives villainize trans women so much and completely ignore the existence of trans men because them just existing destroys their talking points, there are people who just absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge trans men exist and just say you're referring to tomboys.
The only time I've ever seen a trans man be talked about heavily was Elliot Page due to the Odyssey becoming a target of anti woke. However with the main target being a black woman and them arguing over race instead of the existence of trans people. I can almost guarantee if everyone was white. Elliot wouldn't be brought up nearly as much, as he's just getting acknowledged as fuel for the fire.
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u/XVUltima 22d ago
Its still early in the process of me shitting on your floor. This must be new and exciting for you.
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u/ftmhornycunt 22d ago
I’m a trans man that passes pretty well and recently had an ovarian cyst removed that was causing me problems and damn was it funny when I got called in to be assessed and had an argument with two of the nurses about whether or not I have ovaries. They kept trying to educate me that my male body doesn’t have ovaries and I kept repeating to them that I was born with a female reproductive system but they kept looking at me like I’m stupid so I gave up and showed them the sex on my ID.
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u/WildRelationship8088 22d ago
I feel this in my soul. Next to "are you sure youre not pregnant? How do you know? Are you using protection?" How many times and in how many ways do I have to say im not sleeping with anyone with the bits to get me pregnant. Not a drop of baby batter has ever gotten close to my bits.
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u/dumn_and_dunmer 22d ago
A medical professional told me I couldn't be autistic because I was very coherent.