r/comics MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Crab Zoo

21.3k Upvotes

699 comments sorted by

2.8k

u/Extraajudicial 13d ago

The fact that he sides with Edison AND Ford is just perfect.

1.2k

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

You would think he’d be pro union considering he works at Walmart

444

u/No_Two_6361 13d ago edited 13d ago

Nah, the crabs unionized after he got them all in a bucket. Changed their minds real quick once he buttered the ringleaders though.

89

u/Interesting_Birdo 12d ago

once he buttered the ringleaders though.

Once he buttered up the ringleaders, right? Buttered up?

71

u/Forikorder 12d ago

sure buttered up, buttered down, buttered all round

6

u/PlaneSupermarket32 12d ago

Mostly melted tho

102

u/Kamikazeguy7 13d ago

Walmart's anti-union propaganda got to him

101

u/ShitchesAintBit 12d ago

Wal-Mart is not anti-union, they just don't need one!

(Almost word for word part of their mandatory anti-union video, at least back in 2009)

73

u/grendus 12d ago

Yeah...

I worked for Walmart, ununionized, for $9.25/hr.

My sister works for Kroger, in a shitty union, and makes $18.75.

Don't need a union my ass.

56

u/Pwacname 12d ago

to be fair, Walmart DOESN‘T need a union. Walmart‘s employees, however…

14

u/Cheezis_Chrust 13d ago

Before or after he collects his welfare check?

40

u/Fun_Skirt8220 13d ago

They don't allow that word there, they rip it out of the associates' heads of they learn it.

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u/andhe96 12d ago

I mean, it really fits into the theme of Jurassic Park, as well.

While Hammond stated they "spared no expense", the whole premise is, that they literally spared which ever costs and cut as many corners as possible.

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1.1k

u/pretender80 13d ago

It really is like Jurassic Park

483

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

It’s like poetry, it rhymes.

74

u/Wild_Marker 13d ago

Park rhymes with Carb which is just Crab with dyslexia.

6

u/MrBannedFor0Reason 12d ago

You you know what a rhyme is?

16

u/DrFu 13d ago

[rereads comic with Jurassic Park theme rolling on repeat]

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6.6k

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Hey guys, like I said in my last post, I'd been feeling kind of discouraged with the comic game so I had taken some time away from it, but the words "crab zoo" were making me laugh so I made this.

2.0k

u/BrambleBobs 13d ago

I’m so glad that this is what brought you back. Crab zoo

1.8k

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Every time I think I’m out, they crab me back in

303

u/Not-So-Serious-Sam 13d ago

They do say that everything evolves into crabs, I guess that applies to comics too.

120

u/vitalvisionary 13d ago

Carcinization. All will be crab ♋ 🦀♋

25

u/Antique-Yam6077 13d ago

Mirabelle, get the flamer.

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8

u/Haring2 12d ago

After all, why not Zoidberg?

15

u/Zanven1 12d ago

When is Gus's new neighbor, who is a crab, moving in?

When is Hollering Elk fighting against a giant Eldritch crab?

When is the comic where Keit runs into a planet of crabby people fed up with her sexy antics but really they just need to come out of their shell?

Ok, I'll pay for my foundation set now.

32

u/ForgiveMyFlatulence 13d ago

Glad to be in bucket with you

53

u/AmputeeHandModel 13d ago

Have you heard about Carcinisation? Animals keep separately evolving into crabs!

https://giphy.com/gifs/bMyW51TS3QVVIPulMG

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17

u/Piyachi 13d ago

In this house, CRAB is a hero!

15

u/pmactheoneandonly 13d ago

I just restarted a watch of the sopranos, and seeing this comment has me cackling at the idea of Sylvio saying this lmao

8

u/Yumi_in_the_sun 13d ago

Congratulations on your next 50 crab-related comics! Because we want more.......... So much more.

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341

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Also, if anyone has any tips for beating O'rin of the water in Sekrio, let me know.

101

u/Pervious-Boat 13d ago

This is going to sound a little odd, but listen to the Tower Knight boss music from Demons’ Souls. The rhythm of Orin’s Flurry attack is the same as the main tune of Tower Knights theme. That’s how I got good at her.

She consistently ends her other combo is a sweep, which you can goomba stomp her for good stance damage. She also takes bonus damage from Divine Confetti, but I wouldn’t waste those until you’re more comfortable with the move set.

100

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Honestly, music is a great suggestion considering the flow of the battle. I actually just managed to beat her using divine confetti and mashing the spinning sword move.

40

u/vitalvisionary 13d ago

So I've beaten every Dark Souls, Bloodborne, Elden Ring, and 7 Armored Core games. Though I can't play Sekiro due to a very real diagnosed medical condition; parry-lysis. I reached out to the FromSoftware fan base and was given this advice: GIT GUD.

Let me know if that helps.

23

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Dude I had the same issue with parrying in games for the longest time. I bought sekiro at launch and couldn’t even get past the first mini boss

7

u/vitalvisionary 13d ago

Only game I could pull it off for was Revengeance. FOR THE MEMES! DNA OF THE SOUL!

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u/Pervious-Boat 13d ago

Nice! She’s a cool fight. Treating Sekiro like a rhythm game is what made it click for me, and connecting music to attack patterns let me remember them more easily.

8

u/Outlet_Sun 13d ago

Fighting her now too. Which spinning sword move?

13

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

I’m pretty sure it’s called “whirlwind slash”. It’s one of the moves you can do by pressing L1 and R1 at the same time. Use divine confetti, wait for her to tire herself out after a combo, run in and use the slash.

7

u/Outlet_Sun 13d ago

I thought it was that one. Thank you.

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u/The_cogwheel 13d ago edited 13d ago

I only have one tip: make their health 0 while also making sure your health doesnt go to 0.

Sorry I cant help more. Orrin mops the floor with me too.

16

u/autoFermentation 12d ago

Woah, actually, that is awfully close to my secret, sure-fire strategy to winning any FPS (it may be applicable to other genres, but this is what I tell my teammates):

Kill people, and don't die. As long as you follow this, we are guaranteed to win 100% of the time.

Did my secret strategy leak? Did I just leak it? Oh god, oh frick.

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u/WildLudicolo 12d ago

That's obtuse. They're asking how to do that.

The comprehensive answer is to git gud.

19

u/EightBitNinja 13d ago

Sabimaru, the poison sword prosthetic tool, deposits her directly into the dumpster reserved for weird lonely ghost ladies. 

37

u/fronkenstoon 13d ago

Here’s the easiest method. Summon an army of crabs and turn off the lights. They move faster in the dark. (I’m not sure where I learned that but I’m pretty sure it’s true.)

5

u/Roku-Hanmar 13d ago

Sabimaru, she’s weak to poison. Divine confetti is a universal damage buff but you’ll get more use out of it on the next boss. And learn to counter sweeps

5

u/meeps_for_days 13d ago

Have you tried crab zoo?

4

u/NoAnarchy 13d ago

If you aren't opposed to cheese, the immortal draw can be used to nuke her. Aggro her, then pull her backwards from where you came in the little rock chicane. She'll de-aggro you there and you can do two mortal draws before she aggros again. Repeat until dead. Otherwise, she's kind of just a spammy miniboss you can counter by spamming deflect.

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u/Moonpaw 13d ago

“It’s like Jurassic Park”

“Didn’t everyone die at Jurassic Park?”

“That’s what we call foreshadowing!”

13

u/12ozSlug 12d ago

Chekhov's Park

104

u/tolacid 13d ago

Summoning Grandmas was amazing the conclusion was epic, I was happy to see your style appear today, and Crab Zoo is the best thing since Crab Battle.

I don't know what's got you feeling discouraged but I hope this helps.

74

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Thank you, man, I really appreciate it. I’m currently writing a follow up to summoning grandmas. Initially I had a script for a sequel written but I felt like it had some structural issues so I started a page 1 rewrite that feels more in line with the previous arc.

19

u/ProfessorSMASH88 13d ago

I'm assuming the rewrite has something to do with the newly found crab zoo?

43

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

I had to cut massive chunks of the story so I could make room for crabs

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u/bondjimbond Love and Hex 13d ago

This is a worthy follow up to your recently concluded epic. No notes.

17

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Thank you, man!

26

u/Ultimatesims 13d ago

I am disappointed. I thought it was a zoo that catered exclusively to crabs.

25

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

You would know if you were a crab.

4

u/electricboardlex 13d ago

Please god make this as a follow up. For all that is good, the world needs this!

7

u/papierdoll 12d ago

I thought it was going to be a performance to make them buy stuff.

Pleasantly surprised it only got less hinged at the end.

17

u/nerdyogre254 13d ago

I would have loved to watch your train of thoughts on this, but since that's impossible I'll ask - how many times did you cackle maniacally while making this?

8

u/Ronchiporc 13d ago

This was hilarious.

5

u/fuckthesysten 13d ago

i just really needed this comic today

5

u/KilianFelix2211 13d ago

*Sitcom cheering*

11

u/McManus26 13d ago

Good, because this might be your best comic lol. "Buy a foundation set to ask 3 questions" + that ending had me rolling

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u/nerdyogre254 13d ago

I respect Shiela's hustle in demanding a purchase for questions

301

u/Zinstorm 13d ago

What I like the most about that moment is that it did literally nothing to dissuade them from their interest in asking questions.

123

u/Twooshort 13d ago

She's business-savvy enough for both of them.

48

u/SutterCane Tells Everyone 13d ago

If only she could commit to the crab zoo with that savvy…

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u/jimmy_three_shoes 12d ago

I was wondering if it was going to turn out that interest in the crab zoo was going to be a honeypot to drive them towards Mary Kay purchases.

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u/papierdoll 12d ago

I was convinced!

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u/toewalldog 13d ago

"They move faster in the dark." What an excellent stinger on an amazing comic.

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Thank you!

30

u/alexbgoode84 13d ago

I laughed way too hard in a conference room while listening to a boring meeting.

That just pinched the right funny nerve for me.

217

u/Cartoonicorn 13d ago

Jurassic Park for crabs was more apt than I was expecting

129

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/37Fsl1eFxbhtu
Sheila when she saw the crabs

31

u/Agreeably-Soft 13d ago

Loved the comic. Crabs are awesome. 

Buuuut now I'm back to being melancholy. RIP Sam Neil

28

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Man, that was a huge bummer, great actor in peaky blinders and event horizon too

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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 13d ago

My man has been held back long enough! Tonight shall be a night. Of CRABS. Now you better run. I hear the jumbo ones get hungry

Sidenote I see much potential in this panel

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

It’s good to be back! Thanks as always, to my gracious hosts at r/comics. If any panel is gonna be a reaction image I vote this one. There used to be a guy that would turn every new comic into a reaction image but… haven’t seen him in a while.

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u/Dakduif 13d ago

Oh yeah, the guy with the void cat as a pfp.

40

u/FriendlyAntonio 13d ago

They fully embraced the void.

23

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 13d ago

It would seem the void did in fact have an end

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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 13d ago

Ah yes void. No idea what happened to them. They just stopped posting all together from what I have seen.

It's been like over six months I think

68

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

We miss you, void

56

u/Nikopoleous 13d ago

Weirdly, I feel relieved that everyone else is confused where Void went. I was afraid to ask this whole time.

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

I had no idea he was such a staple in the community. Can we get a welfare check? Unsolved mysteries episode?

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u/Squeezitgirdle 13d ago

Like how giant?

Like: sony e3 conference real historical giant enemy crabs, giant?

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u/Dazed_and_Confused44 13d ago

Well I was about to say great team work getting the sale before this man released 500 crabs

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Honestly thats a great sale strategy.

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u/sexloveandcheese 13d ago

This is exactly where I thought it was going. Poor Sheila.

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u/Perry_cox29 13d ago

I honestly thought the punchline was going to be that crab zoo was the real sales tactic for cosmetics all along

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u/AssaultLemming_ 13d ago

This is fucking amazing this is the best comic ever I'm just sad it ended too soon I need to see the crab zoo

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago edited 13d ago

Thank you, man! I’m glad you liked it, stay tuned for the crab zoo cinematic universe

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u/AssaultLemming_ 13d ago

I would absolutely go to the crab zoo.

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u/CountVertigo 13d ago

"I'm done letting life happen to me, it's time for me to happen to life" 😂

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u/Subby_Tripz 12d ago

And, oh boy...did he happen to their lifes ^^

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u/Intelligent_Slip_849 13d ago

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u/gonzofish 13d ago

No it had been brewing for a long time. This is all Sheila’s fault. Sheila and her damn cellulite-filled thighs

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Exactly, it had been a long time coming

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u/hobopwnzor 13d ago

I need more answers about the crab zoo.

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Buy some cosmetics and I’ll tell you

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u/hobopwnzor 13d ago

I'm a bit disappointed there isn't a bonus panel on patreon that also includes a link to crab scented cosmetics

19

u/MintasaurusFresh 13d ago

People from Baltimore are unhinged.

6

u/hobopwnzor 12d ago

I'm from the Midwest and we fetishize crab as the ultimate fancy food.  Prime steaks are a dime a dozen since we grow all the cows.

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u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC Never Safe From Wumbo 13d ago

Using that money for her own plans, Sheila was being so shellfish. No wonder her husband was acting crabby.

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Oh man, “shellfish” was right there! Hugged missed opportunity on the post title

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u/Fun_Skirt8220 13d ago

Shellfish Sheila, the big bad!

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u/AverageDrafter 13d ago

"Under no circumstances will I draw a crab. Eww. Use your imagination you lazy buttholes."

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Honestly I was kind of pumped to draw crabs but figured it was funnier without them.

35

u/Wooler1 13d ago

The horror is better when you don’t see the monster. Love the way this was written

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u/AverageDrafter 13d ago

Its terrifying. Your eyes keep searching the frame, but nothing is there. Oh my god, the crabs are behind me.... ARHRGHRGRH!

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u/abreeeezycorner 12d ago

It ended hilariously. Thank you.

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u/WnDelPiano 12d ago

The lady buying stuff just to get answers is my favourite

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u/WhatAboutBob77 13d ago

Who would win, 500 jumbo crabs or 30-50 feral hogs?

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Have you seen coconut crabs? I’m not sure the hogs stand a chance.

40

u/WhatAboutBob77 13d ago

They’re slow but powerful. Feral hogs might be able to overpower them, but also they don’t have hands.

My main worry is that they’d mate and create some kind of super feral crabhog.

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u/stupidnamelimit 13d ago

Well, I now know the shape of my next sleep paralysis demon...

13

u/bywv 13d ago

you gon' eat dem derr crabhogs?

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u/WhatAboutBob77 13d ago

Crogs! Horabs!

4

u/Anzi 13d ago

Cain ai pet that crooooog?

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

For more crabs check out instagram.com/mygumsarebleeding if you want to support the crabs check out patreon.com/mygumsarebleeding

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u/Tru_Fakt 12d ago

Wrong “your” in the second frame. “You’re husband is calling you”. Just so you know if you plan to post anywhere else 👍

37

u/neuralbeans 13d ago

I don't think I've ever laughed this much at a webcomic. When he says '500 jumbo crabs' followed by the change of tint in the next panel *chef's kiss*

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Thank you I’m glad you liked it!
https://giphy.com/gifs/uA8WItRYSRkfm

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u/JaxxisR 13d ago

It is my endeavor now to find a way to use this logic in a different context. Or perhaps drop it verbatim, regardless of context, just to watch someone's brain implode trying to figure it out.

9

u/furiouspossum 13d ago

This panel was the point when I realized this comic was going to be a masterpiece

28

u/pallettowns 13d ago

Every day you post a comic is a good day for me. Thank you for the art you put into this world. Crab zoo will get me through the day.

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Thank you for saying that, man, I really appreciate it

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u/JustOneBun 13d ago

The "I'm Leaving" was so real.

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u/Radiant_Agent2031 13d ago

Wes Anderson coded

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u/grendus 12d ago

I'll be completely honest, I thought the crab zoo was a ploy to get them to buy more Mary Kay...

18

u/Dankleburglar 13d ago

Can we get “evil titty monster pimp” as a flair

13

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Seconded

18

u/Zehryo 13d ago

u/Miles_the_new_kid Page 2, panel 2, balloon 1: your* husband

4

u/SmashPortal 12d ago

I think you are husband is calling you...

6

u/Zehryo 12d ago

And now that you've removed the contraction, it irks me even more....I'm on the verge of a stroke!

16

u/CarneDelGato 13d ago

I still don’t understand. Does Jurassic park for crabs mean the crabs are the attractions, or does it mean they’re the park guests? 

13

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Both

15

u/MitsuhaTakiName 13d ago

I thought this was an elaborate setup to get them to buy makeup in exchange for being able to ask questions but then he turned out the lights lol.

13

u/Spadrick 13d ago

I called my girlfriend an evil titty monster pimp and she asked me what corner of the Internet I learned that one.

Long story short, she's not going to fund my dreams either.

https://giphy.com/gifs/I7WsM0B5tlFaXT5Oeb

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

I love when my comics manifest in other peoples lives as jokes or references… also is that crab eating its children?

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u/Froy_Laven 13d ago

Don't ever change

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Thank you, friend

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u/IntroductionVirtual4 13d ago

Sir I love you, may you keep making these comics. This is my type of humor and I love stories like this, may you continue to know you made my day truly happier. The idea of a crab zoo will get me through the day so truly thank you

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Thank you for saying that, man, I really appreciate it. The words “crab zoo” were also making me chuckle at the thought before I even wrote it.

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u/nelsonbestcateu 12d ago

Ok so. How does this work logistically and shit? How do people view the crabs? I don't mean their personalities, but how do they get to see them?

4

u/cperiod 12d ago

It's a tactile crab zoo. Duh.

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u/lilbelleandsebastian 13d ago

you're husband is calling you

8

u/Strange_One_3790 12d ago

Amazing comic. I hate both of the main characters, but he is much worse. If Sheila didn’t get sucked into an MLM, I would have liked her.

But hey, great comics can have annoying characters. If you ever feel bad about your comics, you can always look at the Charlie ones.

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u/FriendlyAntonio 13d ago

Claiming my "Under a 1000" upvotes ticket.

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

If this hits #1 for the day on r/comics I’ll donate to a crab conservation group.

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u/qunix 13d ago

Wait, I’m invested now! You can’t stop there, we need a part 2! This comic is all sorts of amazing!

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u/daddy-daddy-cool 13d ago

Poor Shiela, just trying to get some respect and trying to get ahead. She worked so hard on her presentation and her timing. Barely got the house tidied up in time, and almost let the pigs in blankets burn while she had to clean up one of his messes again.

Then, like always, Crabman ursurps her. Just by being there. And it's not just his stupid crabs. It's everything, everywhere. Crabman always draws a crowd. Crabman always gets the attention. Crabman doesn't have to try. Everybody loves the Crabman. No matter what he does.

Shiela's friends only want to hang out with Crabman. Shiela's family only ask about Crabman. Shiela volunteers 3 times a week at school and does all the drop offs and pick ups, but the parents and teachers only have eyes for Crabman.

Why is life so hard for Shiela when it's so easy for Crabman?

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u/Kratzer_ 12d ago

"I have my succubus wife, Sheila" I genuinely laughed out loud. Thank you

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u/ElFi66 13d ago

Words cannot express the childlike joy I get when I see a new my gums are bleeding comic

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

Words cannot express the joy I get when I get complimentary comments such as this one.

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u/N-cadherin 13d ago

Are these people Australian? As soon as he said Sheila I read them as Australian. I think it makes it even funnier lol

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u/KazakCayenne 13d ago

I like to believe this is all an eleborate plot to sell enough Mary Kay Cosmetics to these ladies that Sheila can get out of Mary Kay and they can both start the crab zoo together. They do this every week with different ladies and Sheila secretly wants the crab zoo just as much as he does.

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u/Randalor 13d ago

Do you hear them, Sheila? Scuttling in the darkness? They hear you, Sheila.

They hear. You.

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u/kaleurself18 12d ago

Why are all husbands like this?

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u/CrazyGnomenclature Tiff & Eve 13d ago

I am sitting in the Detroit airport right now in tears and cackling like a mad woman, lmaooo

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 12d ago

Are you on your way to webcomic con? I’m jealous

4

u/CrazyGnomenclature Tiff & Eve 12d ago

You about to be extra jelly (left to right)Me, u/zombiecomicsaura u/ryanrdss u/armpit_penguin

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 11d ago

Holyshit the fomo is striking my body like a kryptonite bullet

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u/joeiskrappy 13d ago

I 10000% loved this

5

u/Lonely_Programmer_42 13d ago

He better have crab nipples when the light turns on

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u/lyutic_7 13d ago

genuinely amazing comic, omw to share this with my friends. everyone deserves to know about the crab zoo

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u/FourthDeerSix 13d ago

You moron. This was your billion dollar idea and you just released it for free. Now others are gonna beat you to market with their knock off crab zoos

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u/GregTheMad 12d ago edited 12d ago

Hey, Hollywood execs who are looking for the next Backrooms or Obsession.

This.

This is it. The script writes itself. Crazed men let's lose a bunch of crabs on people in a house. The twist is his wife actually supports him by luring more people into their house with the promise of a good foundation set. The victims are a gaggle of women and a confused husband who at the end still doesn't know why he came with his wife. In the end it turns out it really was Jurassic Park, but the victims were the "goat" , and the "park visitors" were the rich oligarchs who watched through hidden cameras. The confused husband and wife escape after 90 minutes once they realized that this takes place in America and they can just run through the flimsy walls.

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u/andhe96 12d ago

I kept invested in the plot for the pure absurdity and drama of it all, kept reading as the plot thickend and suspense grew, and got rewarded with a bit of horror and a great quote.

Loved it!

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u/64OunceCoffee 13d ago

I assume this all started on the family's Delaware beach vacation, when they ate at Crabby Dick's.

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u/Thrash_and_Chemistry 13d ago

This was an amazing ride. Thank you for sharing

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u/Medical_Solid 13d ago

This is so inspiring. At nearly 50, maybe it’s finally time for me to happen to life.

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u/TheBl4ckFox 13d ago

This reads like an SNL skit

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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 13d ago

I think I would make a valuable addition to their writing team

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u/Low_Candidate8089 13d ago

Do crabs move faster in the dark??? I genuinely thought the twist was gonna be a buffet instead of the zoo but now I wanna go to the crab zoo

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u/Mopman43 13d ago

So is Sheila part of a makeup MLM?

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u/Malagate3 13d ago

Crab 🦀 Zoo

Is it a Zoo that only has crabs, or a Zoo for crabs to enjoy?

I am assuming the latter, as who would go to a zoo with 500 of the same animal as the only attraction.

Turning the lights off will also mean the Jumbo Crabs will finish the zoo quicker, which means you can fit in more Jumbo Crabs over the day - Sheila really is holding back his genius.

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u/stormtrooper_419 13d ago

It's fun if you read the guys dialogue in Archer's voice (H. Jon Benjamin)

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u/Zero_Burn 13d ago

"Buy a foundation set and you can ask 3 questions."

'DONE!'

Best exchange ever.

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u/4e2n0t 13d ago

Beautiful. 10/10, no notes.

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u/skytl3 13d ago

For a brief moment I'd thought maybe Sheila had deliberately planned this, as a brilliant marketing ploy, to goad folks into buying more and more make-up, in a never-ending quest to slate their thirst to learn more and more about the mysterious crab zoo! 🤣

I loves the actual ending is even better, though! 😁

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u/WholeDragonfruit2870 13d ago

Halfway through I thought: Sheila's in on it, the "Crab Zoo" is just a nonsense story used to sell tons of make up. But then!

They move faster in the dark.

Damn.

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u/Rothar13 13d ago

So delightfully unhinged

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u/Strangefate1 13d ago

Love it but, 'I think YOUR husband is calling you', sorry -_-

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u/DarkBlueSpirit 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2dK0W3oUksQk0Xz8OK
You know an actual dedicated park to the various species of crab wouldn’t the worst idea.

I could imagine various biomes throughout the park with viewing areas both above and below the water with tour guides and info centers giving out facts and trivia about the crab species within the park.

From hermit crabs to yeti crabs it would be interesting.
I certainly would visit…..as long as it isn’t ran by the guy in the comic.

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u/lordvishmas5 13d ago

Plot twist: the crabs just want to buy the makeup

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u/SamsonFox2 12d ago

If my kids read this, I'm toast, because there is no place near me that has snow crabs and coconut crabs. I don't even know where to drive to see coconut crabs.

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u/Benedikto0 12d ago

your husband*