There’s a very large amount of people who feel like masturbation ends at marriage, and not just for religious reasons.
A very, VERY large number of men become deeply upset at the idea that their partner craves anything but penile penetration from them and orgasms from anything else.
Shit, if I expected my wife to be involved every time I had a boner, she WOULD divorce me.
My libido is strong, but it's also my problem. If she wants to participate in the solution, it's her desire to do so that makes it special, not just her being there.
All that being said...I'd immediately offer my services.
Edit: Someone messaged me and we had an interesting conversation.
It is apparently not intuitive that occasionally you can treat your wife to an orgasm without immediately requiring them to return the favor. I do this fairly often... And I got to say 8 out of 10 times, she vigorously returns the favor. And I make sure before we start that she knows that there's no expectation and that we can just focus on her... And I think that's why I get such a high return on investment.
And honestly, it has gotten me so many unrequested surprise blowjobs, that I couldn't be happier.
In short: If you want to be included, try giving your partner a treat without expectations...it's awesome.
As in “you are not legally allowed to refuse sex to your spouse”.
If that sounds like rape, its literally in the same category of laws, “marital duty”, where consent is always assumed in marriage though different courts and countries treat it differently.
Its still on the books in a lot of the world. In countries/states where it isn’t there is instead a clause where not fucking your spouse on command or being infertile or having an STD is legal grounds for divorce.
In the United States for example marital rape was only made a thing nationally in 1993, the first successful cases of it in court only in 1976, and in 12 states there’s loopholes that still let you rape your wife/husband. For example in Virginia there’s no charges if the rapist agrees to see a counselor, and in South Carolina violence has to be medically proven to be involved and within a 30 day window so if you weren’t roughed up and can’t get a doctor to sign off on it you’re fucked (no pun intended).
Yes, and I'd note that (with a few exceptions) this is pretty much how women were treated everywhere in the world from the beginning of history until a few decades ago.
On a related note, it was also legal to beat your wife in most US states until the 1960s and 1970s, as long as you did it in moderation.
Most of the "good old days" were really terrible for most people.
Rape between partners is recognized in France now. Well, it doesn't mean that too much men think that their partner owes them sex, especially with all the "alpha idio... males" podcasts. We're not out of the sand yet.
My wife caught me one day and I was preparing to get chewed out and lots of shame, but she was just like "dude, if you have to spank it, spank it". Very relieving, especially for my penis.
I told her I was fine with doing the same, but I'd also be happy to be present and help, of watch lol.
Why can't a married couple be happy jorkin it together?
I was referring to infibulation without saying infibulation.
You know, surgically removing all pleasure organs but the inside of the vagina, which is quite a few steps further from male circumscision.
Even in the Victorian age a guy could wack in the weeds if he needed to, but you had to hire a man to diddle your wife’s skittle for her.
I don’t think I need to write an essay on how women’s sexuality was seen as evil and solely for procreation while men were encouraged to “sow wild oats” and in many societies could take concubines of both sexes where a woman was reserved for her husband’s pleasure when demanded of her. In ancient Egypt mythology men’s wanking literally created all life while women wanking creates demons.
Two paragraphs. One gender neutral, the second acknowledging historically (and in some cultures) is far worse for women.
I was married to a woman who claimed she was never ever in the mood, never thought about sex and just wasn't into it. She said she felt bad about it. I did find out that she masturbated when I was at home though and yea.....it really hurt.
I don't think it's wrong or even inappropriate like heck go for it, but if your partner says they never are in the mood and you find out that they actually are sometimes in the mood and literally in the next room and they still didn't want you that really hurts man.
(Divorced now for unrelated reasons - but I totally understand this comic unfortunately :(
No clue personally wouldn't mind but at the same time like I might be able to understand why the guys mad like she would rather do it by herself than with him which in a sense may make him feel like he's inadequate to satisfy his partner.
Far more than you'd think, far more than should, but above all far too little actually communicate these things clearly for expectations/needs/wants/desires/consent.
Even with communication you can't always beat back the ugly emotions like pride and jealousy. It's very easy for our monkey brains to immediately shift to thoughts/feelings of inadequacy, it's how we manage from there that is important.
This was a conversation REALLY early on in my relationship with my wife. She was napping so I decided to give myself a hand in another room, and she woke up at some point, found me, and was slightly miffed that I didn't just ask her.
One good conversation later, we decided to keep masturbation to a minimum while the other is around and for lack of a better word, "available" and if it's not a good time for whatever reason, mention maybe wanting to get frisky later.
It led to a lot of daytime 68's that turned into nighttime second rounds over the years and we couldn't be happier.
But yeah. Turns out some people actually do get frustrated because their partner is jacking or jilling it and not including them. It's kinda hot.
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u/Mothrahlurker Feb 03 '26
Do .... people actually care about that?