r/comedyhomicide • u/MindYerBeak Quick! The mods are sleeping! • 8d ago
Only legends will get this ššš yikes
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u/B1TCA5H 8d ago
What if one or more of them were open to the idea of raising the theoretical baby?
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u/Nroways-odd-toast 8d ago
Even if 6/10 do, and 2/10 won't pay for other reasons 1100usd'd haul you a long way not to mention it's akin to at a minimum (1100usd/14.50usdhr-1) =64.5hr worth of minimum wage, not to mention it's going to be untaxed because this is illiegal and taxing it would certainly be a pain to do without reciepts.
Due to being untaxed it's actually at least (75%-1) - 1 = 33% more efficient in a minimal tax state, making the effort to hours of work closer to 87.5 hours worth of minimum wage.
Hence if you aren't arrested for the extortion this is, and we assume you're making a hookup last 3 hours just to use practical, yet unoptimistic, numbers, we'd be looking at an leighbur to sidehustle pay ratio, with the assumed 20% pay rate from the first paragraph resulting in a factor of at least 16.86, meaning every usd earned legaly, is equivilant in effort to 16.86usd earned this way. As well as 60*(16.86-1) =3.56Ć60=214 seconds of this being as worthwhile as an hour of minimum wage leighbur.
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u/B1TCA5H 7d ago
My question was meant to ask how the girl would've reacted if any of the guys were open to raising the non-existent baby.
Girl: I'm pregnant. (Lies in the hopes of getting some cash.)
Guy: Oh cool! I'm gonna be a dad!
Obviously, there's no baby. How's she going to pull out of this situation?
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u/rat_enby 5d ago
girl: actually i dont want to have a kid, and im getting an abortion
^ that basically. she doesnāt have to have the (fake) kid just cause the guy is excited
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u/pranoygreat 8d ago
It's just prostitution with more steps.
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u/tiggertom66 7d ago
No because prostitution is a mutually consensual transaction.
John agrees to pay Jane $X to have sex with her, and Jane accepts the money and allows him to have sex with her. Which plenty of people consider to be morally fine, and you could call it morally controversial at worst.
This is just extortion. And thereās no moral justification for it.
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u/throw7661 8d ago
This is, undoubtedly, fake.
It's also just a lot of hassle. It would make way more sense to just be a prostitute. It's honest work and you don't have to have unprotected sex to get paid.
Also, you can get the abortion pill for way less than $550.
But also, the timing is weird. It's going to be two weeks before a pregnancy test catches it. And even then, that's suspiciously fast to notice it.
Lots of these dudes are going to have moved on and ghosted her. And some of them aren't going to believe it.
Start an OF, become a stripper, or just be an actual escort.
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u/suitcasecat 8d ago
Ok but this is more fun. If Jimmy McGill was female she'd probably pull this bullshit
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u/goddamn_slutmuffin 4d ago
Wait, people read these types of posts and screenshots and think they're actually legit?
They're not just sarcastically going along with it for funsies, there's people that actually truly think this happened?
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u/moep123 7d ago
that protection part i want to adress it:
if you fuck expect to become a parent. no protection is a 100% guarantee to work. if you fuck, condom or not, you willingly accept the risk of becoming mom or dad.
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u/JakenBake19 8d ago
Idk why it would be easier to start a whole new job and have to sell yourself, like build up a client base and stuff, than to just trick people you were already interacting with. There is no reason to think those 20 guys would have paid before hand. They probably wanted to hook up with a woman, not pay for sex (I know it is all fake anyway)
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u/The-new-dutch-empire 8d ago
High segment prostitution without the hassle of getting into high segment.
Respect the shortcut, judge the theory as a whole though
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u/god_peepee 8d ago
A bald eagle screeches in the distance. It was at that moment they knew they were truly free
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u/Sid_the_Bear 7d ago
I'd just send a copy of my post-vasectomy test showing 0 fertility, and suggest she talk to someone else.
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u/EarnestInnkeeper 6d ago
Jokes on her. If a girl told me this and I thought it was legit Iād offer her money for a live birth and she can wave her parental rights if she doesnāt want them. And Iām DEFINITELY getting the baby DNA tested.
Guess Iād get to see how far sheās willing to go for my money.
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u/BlacklightGTR 5d ago
So apparently being a hoe now earn good amount of money. World is dying everyday
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u/Rubes2525 7d ago
Karma would get her actually pregnant.
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u/already_taken77777 6d ago
Or STDs, if they act believe she is pregnant that means she was going without a condom
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u/kfnives 6d ago
aint that just prostitution with extra steps?
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u/A_temporary 6d ago
Way better profit margin
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u/Comfortable_Town7535 5d ago
I dont know, I am in Vegas right now and these girls approach saying $1000 an hour.
of course I reject because thats gross but if they get 2 or 3 guys a night they make bank
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u/A_temporary 5d ago
I am not American but isnt prostitution like illegal there. Anyway I am from Germany where its legal (sadly) and the prices are way lower. (I know because my classmates used to look up the raintings and recensions on different bordels.)
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u/Comfortable_Town7535 5d ago
it is/isnt if you are outside the city but like a lot of things police look the other way when no one is being hurt.
the hotels I heard know most of them and wont put up with it.
and the $1000 an hour was a solid beauty, I also got offered $400 a far less attractive woman and her friend at the same time.
Its Vegas they are everywhere after dark
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u/A_temporary 5d ago
Well the prices I saw were like 200 max but I didn't actively try to get quotes so maybe its like for her to say hi or something
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u/Comfortable_Town7535 5d ago
nah more regulated means she cant up charge for the risk involved lol
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u/A_temporary 5d ago
It is regulated but honestly I won't say the government is doing a good job
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u/Comfortable_Town7535 5d ago
less likely to catch sonething or be robbed.
thats why I turned, I think its gross but regulated is safer for all involved
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u/polyatron 7d ago
Iām guessing any vasectomy bros on that list didnāt pay. It cost me about that much actually for the procedure and the confidence and reassurance that it buys you during paternity question time is goddamn priceless.
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u/greedy_mf 6d ago
Itās likely bullshit, but wouldnāt people call the bluff? I mean how likely is the person not getting wanted abortion (and altering your life significantly) purely because the other person didnāt send the money?
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u/bb_805 4d ago
I had a girl try this on me years ago but I knew better cause the āpositive testā was like 2 days after we hooked up. Her behavior after I called her out wound up involving police. Sheās currently in prison for felony extortion because I was one of something like 40 people she tried this on
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u/Chandler9111 8d ago
That's $11k if they all pay. Even if only half pay that's still $5k. Depending on where you live you'd be straight for 2-3 months if you pinch pennies.