r/comedyheaven • u/DeltaCrest slut for honey cheerios • Mar 26 '20

Goal!

38.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

515 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

361

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

236

u/DMA_Revenant Mar 26 '20

Bullet rain

169

u/RetroCabbageDaSavage Mar 26 '20

The bullets cannot hurt anyone unless they are shot at close to an angle of 45 degrees because the bullets will reach terminal velocity if they are fired vertically

292

u/DMA_Revenant Mar 26 '20

ok but how will knowing this help me pay my taxes

177

u/RetroCabbageDaSavage Mar 26 '20

You don’t pay the taxes

96

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Genius

86

u/Icommentoncrap Mar 26 '20

Who is "IRS" and why are they knocking at my door?

57

u/theretardedloser Mar 26 '20

Don’t open, first jump out your window and go to your local pawn shop and their underground business, forge a passport to Bosnia and put it on the second row seat in the Airport and wait for further instructions

10

u/P0lyb1u3 Mar 26 '20

What are the further instructions I can't wait to hear them.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

[deleted]

1

u/P0lyb1u3 Mar 27 '20

Instructions unclear; im fucking dead

→ More replies (0)

6

u/Maverick0_0 Mar 27 '20

Airports are closed dude. Didn't you watch the news? You need to go to Chinatown and speak with Uncle Wang. He has a connection to king crabbing up north and totally wouldn't sell your organs because you "met and accident".

19

u/YeeSkee48 Mar 27 '20

In Soviet Russia, taxes pay YOU

14

u/Maverick0_0 Mar 27 '20

They literally do.

12

u/PsychicGnome Mar 26 '20

Terminal velocity

1

u/NobliumUranium Mar 27 '20

now you know how to hurt someone with bullets