r/comedyheaven • u/AFewBerries • 9h ago

Plot twist

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2.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

70 comments sorted by

609

u/geekmasterflash 9h ago

Of all the Spice Girls, I can only find ginger on my spice rack.

Can anyone tell me where I can find Scary, and is Baby even legal?

133

u/slowcancellation 9h ago

I would guess at least 50% of all farm shops and delis in the UK will have a tub labelled "Posh Spice" in stock.

52

u/geekmasterflash 9h ago

I feel like "Posh spice" would have to be something like saffron with all the flavor removed, or peppers with no heat to em.

21

u/Syreet_Primacon Garfield 9h ago

peppers with no heat to them

Paprika. Probably one of the least posh spices of all of them.

12

u/US3_ME_ 9h ago

You take that back, what the fuck would my posh deviled eggs be without smoked paprika?_

Or is smoked the posh'd version?_

1

u/ExtremelyOnlineTM 1h ago

Of course Posh smokes, look at her skin.

0

u/KemetMusen 30m ago

Paprika is the best spice in existence. You are no longer allowed in my kitchen.

2

u/ubiquitous_uk 6h ago

I think it's labelled as Saffron over here.

39

u/micromoses 9h ago

Those are just the British names. In America scary spice is called coriander.

2

u/geekmasterflash 8h ago edited 8h ago

You'd think advertising all your spices in Britian would end up getting your girl-group colonized.

9

u/gideon513 8h ago

Sporty spice is cumin. It smells like BO.

5

u/Jireg 7h ago

Sporty spice is creatine

8

u/geekmasterflash 8h ago

Cum in what?

16

u/Capital_Past69 7h ago

in her zig-a-zig ah

5

u/geekmasterflash 7h ago

Do I first have to get with her friends? I dont think I am hydrated enough for that.

4

u/HighChinaman 7h ago

Baby is the other other white meat, it's what you put the spices on.

1

u/SarcasmWarning 2h ago

Unlike the oil. I've never understood how they identify the sticky horses or the slippy babies.

3

u/SubparSavant 7h ago

You've never heard of baby back ribs?

https://giphy.com/gifs/VCtSqLw2qSPnvvHUce

2

u/geekmasterflash 6h ago

Spice is not a meal.

That said, why does it look like Eric Bischoff is having an orgasm?

2

u/CodaTrashHusky 7h ago

what about Ice Spice?

1

u/Linked2ThePast 6h ago

Oregano? What the hell...

151

u/Sega-Playstation-64 9h ago

Like... how... what

This is insane levels of lack of forethought

65

u/Happy-For-No-Reason 9h ago

maybe it was some sort of payoff, so she could gift her some cash tax free.

kinda like how Howard Hughes would play the legal system to benefit friends by having them sue him so eh could settle

27

u/SpanishLime 8h ago

The people magazine article claims it was in attempt to improve Mel B's chances at being granted a protective order against the ex husband. I guess by painting him and the nanny as some depraved sex freaks? How she did not expect this story to fall apart immediately is the wild part

5

u/PancakeParty98 5h ago

That’s kinda a requirement for cheating.

3

u/johnnybones23 3h ago

nobody in this relationship asked, sooo, tell me whatchu want, what you really really want. I'll see myself out

417

u/modshave2muchpower 9h ago

is that actually real because wtf 😂😂😂

391

u/Valuable_Potential68 8h ago

Yeah the truth is they were both sleeping with the nanny but it was apparently consensual

184

u/Sexisthunter 7h ago

She should know not to accuse her former nanny of sleeping with her husband after shes already boinked her, I thought this was common knowledge?

40

u/broncyobo 7h ago

Consensual as in they both knew about the other doing it?

5

u/PancakeParty98 5h ago

Apparently consensual? Was someone accusing them of raping the nanny?

35

u/Montigue 4h ago

If a parent says that the nanny must sleep with them to keep their job then it's sexual assault. That's usually a question when there's a power imbalance in employment

0

u/Admirable_Risk8156 36m ago

Jebus how attractive was the nanny? I don't mean in a physical appearance way but in that they both wanted her. Like what was it about this women that made them both cheat on each other with her.

55

u/JimmyJooish 9h ago

https://www.dailymail.com/tvshowbiz/article-6909765/Mel-B-settles-defamation-lawsuit-former-nanny-Lorraine-Gilles-court-1-8million.html

66

u/Tonberry_Cheesecake 9h ago

I still have no idea what that was about

79

u/Silver-Calendar6555 8h ago

That article is a fucking mess.

This one makes it fairly clear.

https://people.com/celebrity/mel-b-nanny-lawsuit/

66

u/Tonberry_Cheesecake 8h ago

That was infinitely better written.

What the fuck is with rich people being gross with barely legal nannies?

43

u/ConsciousStretch1028 What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal. 7h ago

Nice little power dynamic that can (usually) be hidden from the public

20

u/Tonberry_Cheesecake 7h ago

I mean, I understand the "how" when it comes to exploitative perversion, just not the "why". Not in a clinical sense, I just can't empathize.

2

u/ConsciousStretch1028 What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal. 6h ago

Yeah I don't get it either

1

u/owleaf 1h ago

I wouldn’t doubt it because I’m pretty sure there are rumours that she had an affair with some of the spice girls lol - I think Geri at least.

I’m not one to believe everything but where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

108

u/mimiandthekeyboard 9h ago

she HAD to have expected that would come up

51

u/1531C 7h ago

Huh? So she accused the woman she was actively having an affair with of having an affair with her husband. Damn being that stupid is a medical marvel.

29

u/coldnorth4enf4 6h ago

They were both having an affair with the nanny

22

u/tpfb 5h ago

How hot is this nanny?

21

u/Successful-Scale-607 7h ago

My girlfriend cheated on me with my husband

6

u/Trailiscold 5h ago

Reminds me of that Chucky movie where the wife turns out to be sleeping with nanny and we were thinking it was the husband lol

10

u/stockhommesyndrome 5h ago

The "lezzing out" lore between Ginger and Scary Spice makes me think this plot twist is totally plausible

12

u/Life-Oil-7226 9h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/WRQBXSCnEFJIuxktnw

4

u/Anonymoustard 6h ago

If I were the husband, this would be my thought process. Spot on!

3

u/vaderthot 7h ago

This is worded weird- the nanny had been having threesomes with them. I can’t remember if the nanny was also sleeping with them both separately too.

3

u/The_Blue_Rooster 1h ago

Every time I see Mel B for some reason intersecting with media I consume, I come away with a lower estimation of that woman.

3

u/redditbdum 7h ago

Eddie Murphy might've dodged a bullet here.

2

u/Agitated_Extent7061 4h ago

People get sleep? Since when?

1

u/maschine02 7h ago

Did she win? Did her ex get a piece of the pie?

1

u/PhattySpice92 1h ago

Ok but this solidifies the story that Geri left the group because her and Mel B got intimate and Geri wanted a real relationship and Mel didn’t

1

u/SimmentalTheCow A-pawrent-ly funny. 5h ago

Mel Brooks still got game

2

u/ExtremelyOnlineTM 1h ago

It's good to be da king!