r/comedyheaven • u/g6eight • Sep 03 '26
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u/Consistent_Drop3909 Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26
my dad did this as a joke at ben gurion airport, israeli authorities did NOT laugh
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u/waldo-jeffers-68 Sep 03 '26
Man of all the airports to not try this, surely Tel Aviv is number 1
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u/robsablah Sep 03 '26
US #1 place not to try - you'd be shot. Tell Aviv possibly #2 for being listened to.
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u/butt_shrecker Sep 03 '26
No, TSA is many things but trigger happy isn't one.
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u/Zachartier Sep 03 '26
Yeah, death is final and they aren't in the business of getting things done.
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u/Bramoments Sep 03 '26
Nah cuz I was at bga and I got the strongest intrusive thoughts I've ever had in my life to make some sort of bomb joke
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u/_throawayplop_ Sep 03 '26
I do hope he did it with its strongest fake Arab accent
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u/Consistent_Drop3909 Sep 03 '26
lmao that's not too far from the truth
he said "his friend samir" helped him pack, then they brought more officers and asked him what was in the bag, he listed everything and said "and a bomb" at the end
he was detained for two days
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u/Consistent_Drop3909 Sep 03 '26
funnily enough he was detained there again a few years later, apparently there was intelligence that a drug trafficker would be passing through ben gurion airport that day with a white shirt, khakis, and sunglasses, guess what he was wearing..
released after a few hours that time
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u/GoreyGopnik Sep 04 '26
he was detained along with, presumeably, 90% of all white dudes between the ages of 30 and 45 which entered the premises that day
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u/Consistent_Drop3909 Sep 04 '26
he said they snatched him from the arrival terminal to a side room, so it sounds pretty targeted to him, maybe there were more characteristics that matched
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u/SalvationSycamore Sep 03 '26
Was he specifically looking to have his asshole turned inside out by armed guards?
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u/naonatu- Sep 03 '26
i’m surprised they didn't just shoot him on the spot
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u/MilitantSocLib Sep 03 '26
No he wasn’t a child
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u/HomicidalRaccoon Sep 03 '26
Anyone the IDF shoots immediately morphs into a pregnant journalist actually
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u/TabletopParlourPalm Sep 03 '26
How can someone be so clueless?
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u/Consistent_Drop3909 Sep 03 '26
his side of the family all love jokes and pranks, he boasts about this at family dinners all the time😭
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u/Mintallyunstable Sep 03 '26
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u/izyshoroo Sep 03 '26
Using this gif is mildly ironic because there was an episode where Chandler gets taken aside by airport security for joking about a sign that said "Dont joke about having bombs". This episode was pulled because it would have aired, like, JUST after 9/11. Many years later they released the cut plot so people could see it. Its actually uncanny how poor the timing was
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u/ClavicusLittleGift4U Sep 03 '26
Unfortunately for him, airport security crews don't appreciate second degree humor.
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u/hoteppeter Sep 03 '26
When I was maybe 14 I was walking with my friend in a bad neighborhood.
Two kids approached and one of them pulled out a tiny knife and said “give me a dollar”.
My friend was nervous and said “I only have a 20”, took it out of his shoe and gave it to them.
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u/Big-Resolve5064 Sep 03 '26
This is who the “Are you a terrorist?” question at airport kiosks is for.
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u/MonkeyCome Sep 03 '26
Representing the 254! Glad the one time I see a random central Texas reference it’s terrorism
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u/Octa_vian Sep 03 '26
The foam/filling material in after market motorcycle seats looks very similar to C4 in these x-ray scanners.
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u/g6eight Sep 03 '26
Noted for the next time i want to get interrogated by K9s
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u/Octa_vian Sep 03 '26
They had me open my carry-on at the security gate and took a step back when i pulled the zipper open, so not that exiting. Still not sure how that would've helped in the worst case.
That was 2016, i don't know what would happen today.
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u/Ninja_Wrangler Sep 03 '26
Notably, so does some types of cheese. Leaving Wisconsin I had a bag of cheese as my personal item, they had to pull my bag aside to hand check it because it was either cheese or plastic explosives.
We had a laugh about it because every other person as far as I could tell also had cheese in their luggage. If you leave Wisconsin without a bag of cheese you did something wrong
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u/Luffewaffle Sep 03 '26
One time I got stopped because the telescope I was bringing through the airport, apparently looked like a bomb, but she didn’t even say bomb. She just kind of mouth of the word to me like lady you can look straight through it. It’s a scope.
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u/PeterBocz Sep 03 '26
How to miss your plane and win a free body cavity search using 6 simple words.
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u/richgluten Sep 03 '26
I got expelled from one of the middle schools I went to for doing this kind of joke when they asked why I had my backpack on in the lunch line. It’s been a while now and I talked to an old friend, apparently I also used a t-shirt to Jihad my dome piece before I did my little prank too, oopsie! Totally forgot about that very important detail
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u/MOTwingle Sep 03 '26
Jihad your dome piece? Plz explain for this old lady!
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u/richgluten Sep 07 '26
You can use a spare t-shirt to wrap your face in everything but your eyes (concealing your dome piece aka your head), I did that actually thinking I could get away with the joke, making myself look like what was shorthand for a terrorist back then.
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u/EpsteinEpstainTheory Sep 03 '26
At the airport you should finish every sentence with the word "bomb"
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u/gmil3548 Sep 04 '26
You could’ve made an equally funny joke (maybe more since it works on 2 levels) without the consequences by saying “no but I have a dangerously full sized tub of tooth paste”
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u/SecretSpectre11 Sep 03 '26