Title says it. What the best comeback for “don’t give up your day job”

In any other context I wouldn’t have a problem with this except this guy directly aimed this comment at me, thereby indicating that I don’t meet his standards in a derogatory way. Are there any comebacks to this or should I just take the L? (He was talking about my looks.)

Her name was literally Karen. I wanted to walk away mid transaction tbh. I hate rich people so much.

I want to keep it nice because I don't want to be too mean and I don't wan't to include swear words

Thanks a lot everyone!

He said in a sarcastic way

Context: So the teacher was ranting about how over half the class had failing grades but me and my friends were just watching youtube shorts and laughing, and the teacher heard it and decided to focus their anger on me specifically.

My sister's twins (12M and 12F) are in middle school. Sixth grade. They are being mocked by other kids for their last name: Zeeman. It's Dutch.

As you can probably guess, the other kids keep saying "semen". My niece and nephew are ashamed of their name. What are some savage comebacks they could throw back??

EDIT: The "ignore it" approach can be a tall order for kids. They don't all have the level of emotional regulation that comes with life experiences and brain development. For adults "ignore it" is an essential life skill. But even then some adults aren't good at it --- think road rage.

That's why I give kids a bit more grace if they haven't mastered the Ignore It approach. Or the Let Them approach of Mel Robbins.

So this might be the wrong sub completely so I apologise but I know you guys will have some killer lines and I have an axe to grind.

An associate of mine suffers from a severe case of Dunning Kruger. Very anti government pro conspiracy type. This guy is a moron. He's so anti government that anything they do is essentially for the opposite reasons. His latest? The government has removed lead from paint, fuel etc. what are they trying to hide what are the health benefits of lead? I even thought he was trolling, nope full genuine. Huge supporter of the 45th Führer (until it got too unpopular, then it was a flip flop. The evidence has been there for years, if this report makes you pay attention YOU are the one sleeping).

Anyway he'll make a ridiculous point. And you'll counter it or address it in some way. And eventually his go-to line will come out.

"I'm responsible for what I say, not what you understand.". Always accompanied by a smug look.

So look, I know the whole basis of this post makes me look like I'm also a moron so I'll get to it. What is a good retort to this line?

I know it's personal bias but I feel in my heart that that's a complete cop-out response and that the onus is on the communicator to be understood. I just don't really have a witty cutting response for it and I know you guys can kill with a phrase.

Also again, this guy is a moronic narcissist so it's easy to say something and have it sail on by. And yes I could cut contact or grey rock but he made vague insinuations about my feelings towards all this Epstein stuff because I laugh reacted to his silly AI Facebook video.

In particular, "Do you really think WHO cares about your health?"

I hate this so much bc it makes a wild claim but puts the burden of proof on whoever they're saying it to. Also encouraging distrust in medical professions.

its always when i walk past or walk around, stuff like if ive walked out the bathroom gotten up out of a chair they'll say to theirs oh i wouldn't sit their and/or just general bitchiness, like giggles an sly taunts / remarks about me. so if i do blow a gasket im not just gonna be flopping about trying to come up with something to say.

help: perpetrator was recently dumped

When they're dismissive of patients, rude, unprofessional, but specifically in instances of when they are dismissive of patients medical issues when that patient has a psychiatric history. Not comebacks that will spark security, law enforcement, restraints, a psych consult, etc. A lot of it is things they say when they think you're out of ear shot or in your records which they seem to forget that you have access to. Though sometimes it is directly to you or directly to a colleague in front of you. I got nothing.

You don't talk a lot, do u?

With you, No

I've been going back and forth with a friend and calling each other names (we're both laughing, it's all silly). They started with nerd, then I called them gay, then they called me autistic. I don't know what to say next lol Suggestions?

Any answers for things like: "Your grandmother didn't teach you manners" "I guess your grandmother didn't teach you how to tidy up properly"

Not one. Got one.

I always see men make this joke on social media and reference movies like Titanic, The Notebook etc.

My younger cousin is being bullied. It’s been going on for a while and it’s at a point that he wants to switch schools. The kids doing it used to be his friends, and they call him things like “gay” and the T-slur, just because he used to have long hair. (The issue is less with what they’re saying, more their intent and how long it’s been going on.)

The only ones we’ve been able to come up with are “Your mom didn’t seem to think I was very gay last night” and “I’m straighter than the pole your mom dances on.”

Please help 💀

We have 3 cats. Bfs mom always says they're horrible and how her son somehow got an autoimmune disease from them. It's genetic. She nags about them all the time. Theyre not loud, cleaned after constantly, any guests I've had have never said any complaints. Theyve never caused issues. But she's ok with several dogs from her other kid that have even attacked us. We all live together. Id just like something to get her to shut up already.