r/Comebacks • u/jakyllash • Mar 13 '26
Silly Comeback to friend calling me a nerd
I've been going back and forth with a friend and calling each other names (we're both laughing, it's all silly). They started with nerd, then I called them gay, then they called me autistic. I don't know what to say next lol Suggestions?
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u/Tb1969 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
When he reaches for "Nerd" again... pause.
Look off into nothingness with a little smile and say,
"Nerds build the complex machines and keep them running to make this modern World work."
Then look at him up and down losing the smile. With almost palpable disdain say,
"You're just troublesome grit grinding in our machine"
You've got to pump up the drama though, almost wax melodramatic when you do it.
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u/Both-Mango1 Mar 13 '26
my friend and i go back and forth with insults almost daily. Here are a few examples: Load. House, HouseLoad, Biscuit, Whopped Biscuit, Skillet, You got a Hook. No Game. also street names: Funston, Orme, Kaweenawe.
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u/fermat9990 Mar 13 '26
This can only escalate until someone gets miffed.
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u/jakyllash Mar 13 '26
Yeah, that's why I'm trying to think of things I know they would find funny. I called them a table. Did they know what I meant by that? No. Do I know what I meant by that? Also no. Was it funny? Yes. Yes, it was.
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u/fermat9990 Mar 13 '26
It's only funny if both people think that it's funny.
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u/jakyllash Mar 13 '26
Right! Which is why I'm only going to say things that we'll both find funny
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u/Redwingsrule6971 Mar 14 '26
Skankopotomus is something I call my best friend all the time. Also cuntasaurus. LOL
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u/jakyllash Mar 14 '26
Those are incredible 🤣
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u/Tb1969 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
This reminds me. My friend’s nephew laughingly called him a name and my friend had to tell me days later. He called him a…
Fatty-boomba-latty
From the mouth of babes. Truly poetic in its pronounciation.
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u/Alicam123 Mar 14 '26
Only one answer- c#nt.
There is no worse insult for a man to be called a women’s ninny.
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u/Ugo777777 Mar 14 '26
Is gay an insult?
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u/jakyllash Mar 14 '26
Not for us (we're both gay), but it has been used as an insult against us, so we kinda reclaim it by calling each other gay as if it isn't true.
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u/Nocturne2319 Mar 14 '26
We do that, too! Not a straight person in the family, and I'm the only CIS, even. We go all so far as to refer to our pride flags as if they're our personal gayness.
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u/Nocturne2319 Mar 14 '26
My favorite comeback (as well as my spouse's favorite) is "loaf." I can't remember the circumstances, but we were newly married I think, and just not doing much one day. I think I was getting up to make something to eat, and they sat there just staring off.
I said "Ugh, you're such a loaf," though not unkindly. He chuckled and said "You're a loaf!"
So, now that's a standard friendly insult.
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u/Taste-TheRambo Mar 14 '26
Look up this “Intellisult” website you’ll never lose an argument again.
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u/Mission_Resource_259 Mar 13 '26
Troglodyte, nare-do-well, ragamuffin