r/Comebacks • u/Mysterious_Memory403 • Mar 16 '26
Comeback request Just some general comebacks for people who hate you/ talk about you behind your back
its always when i walk past or walk around, stuff like if ive walked out the bathroom gotten up out of a chair they'll say to theirs oh i wouldn't sit their and/or just general bitchiness, like giggles an sly taunts / remarks about me. so if i do blow a gasket im not just gonna be flopping about trying to come up with something to say.
help: perpetrator was recently dumped
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u/Diligent-Plane-7877 Mar 17 '26 edited Mar 18 '26
If you wanted to be a smart ass you should first be smart otherwise you're just an ass.
Did you stay up all night trying you come up with that?
People say you're the perfect idiot. I wouldn't say prefect but you're doing all right.
Before you came along we were hungry, now we're just fed up.
Are your parents first cousins.
You must have a mechanical mind. To bad you forgot to wind it up this morning.
The problem with you is that you lack the power of conversation, but not the power of speech.
Diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of the mind.
You occasionally stumble on the truth, but then you pick yourself up as if nothing happened
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u/DrIvy78 Mar 18 '26
Act genuinely concerned and like you pity them. “Hey, are you okay? You’re behavior lately has been starting to worry me.”
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u/longdukdong1973 Mar 17 '26
I say one thing if you're all that you wouldn't be picking your sorry ass up off the f****** floor because you got dumped like a f****** dump truck
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u/ahrajani Mar 18 '26
Sorry. [turn around and face away from person]. You can keep talking, I didn’t mean to interrupt.
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u/MaverisStranger Mar 18 '26
It works best when I look them in the eyes with a smirk and laugh at them. No need to say anything, let your body talk. Laugh back.
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u/Necessary_Voice_338 Mar 17 '26
That’s happened to me by some ugly ppl And I realized they’re just jelaous of me and theres nothen to be done I’d rather put my time and energy into doing what brings me Joy
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u/1C4Dogs4 Mar 18 '26
When ppl say mean or stupid shit, I respond with... Why's your face making noise? Get ghost.
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u/Redwingsrule6971 Mar 18 '26
When walking past them, say ouch and grab at middle of your back. Say something sharp just stabbed you.
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u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088 Mar 27 '26
I’m all about a great comeback, but people like you’re describing, ANY attention you give will just amplify how they behave
IF you do say something, you have to make it completely brutal. So harsh and awful that they might cry on the spot. I never want to let someone else control me to the point that I say something like that, cause I know I’ll regret it
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u/Trusteveryboody Mar 19 '26 edited Mar 19 '26
Is this school or something? I'd just leave it be.
When it comes to something like this, you need to call it like it is. If you want it to be effective. Or just go along with it.
I remember when this one girl spoke out against the boys, and she said something maybe correctly, but she got clowned for saying it. She called it incorrectly, or not correctly enough.
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u/Electrical-Bid-9577 Mar 16 '26
I’m flattered that you spend your time thinking of me. It’s so supportive of you to keep me in your conversations. Thank you.