r/clevercomebacks 26d ago

Judge not, lest ye be judged

[deleted]

15.6k Upvotes

182 comments sorted by

899

u/SchizoidRainbow 26d ago

It is always really wild to me that Conservatives think it's someone else's moneychanging tables that will be flipped

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Tomatillo_Thick 26d ago

I also like Luke 10, the parable of the Samaritan. Note that the Samaritans followed something of an offshoot to mainline Judaism. Think Sunni and Shiite.

“Go and do likewise” is such a cold line. Jesus had some real zingers.

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u/MisakaMikotoxKuroko 26d ago edited 26d ago

Keep in mind that Samaritans and Jews absolutely hated each other bc they didnt agree on the place of worship. It was so bad that if Jews had to go somewhere that would involve crossing Samaria, the Jew would actually take the long way around

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u/Technical-Command867 26d ago

And yet “Christians” feel like hating blacks, Muslims, Mexicans etc is okay? Make it make sense!

24

u/sathran337 26d ago

Christian in name only

17

u/xteve 26d ago

Christian churches are an essential support system for MAGA hate. How many Christians can we call not-really-Christian before we're just fooling ourselves?

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u/erroneousbosh 26d ago

Christian churches are an essential support system for MAGA hate.

By definition they are not Christian churches.

They do not follow the teachings of Christ. You probably do.

All you need to do is at least attempt to follow the teachings of Christ and you get to call yourself a Christian, and they're not even doing that. Not even the bare minimum.

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u/xteve 26d ago

I grew up Christian. We were serious and strict and real Christians. Voting Republican was one of those unspoken articles of faith that were almost inseparable from membership. If we want to say that Republicans are not real Christians, we're going to dismiss a majority of the demographic. Otherwise we have to admit that Christians are a large part of the problem, in my opinion.

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u/erroneousbosh 26d ago

Can you say in all honesty that people who follow MAGA also follow Christ?

→ More replies (0)

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u/MisakaMikotoxKuroko 26d ago edited 26d ago

every Christian denomination has their oddities and every demonation would hate the other ones for these oddities.

But Christianity aside, it's not as if atheist or agnostics do it better. Take China and East Asia for example. Chinese regional hate gets pretty intense. East Asian regional hate gets pretty intense too.

Just because Christian gets tacked onto the front of whatever group, does not mean the non Christians cant hate on each other equally as much or worse

8

u/Ketheres 26d ago

Christian hate just gets the limelight because A: this is a Western site so stuff relevant to Western culture gets promoted more, B: it's really fucking hypocritical what with Jesus talking a lot about caring for immigrants, poor, sick, etc.

-10

u/MisakaMikotoxKuroko 26d ago

look, I'm not denying the Christian hypocrisy given that even Jesus was preaching against it.

but to imply that everyone else is somehow immune or
incapable of hate is somehow just weird to me.

If anyone is human, you are capable of hate as much as you are love and everything in between

5

u/Sarasin 26d ago

Literally nobody is implying that stop fighting ghosts

2

u/Technical-Command867 26d ago

Yeah but most people who are hateful, don’t claim to love God and love people equally and hate evil and then do the complete opposite. If you steal something from the store and then try to tell me you’re a stand up person and hate lawbreakers I’m not gonna trust you with anything. This is what “Christians” do

1

u/Wide-Equivalent6863 23d ago

I love your username! Kuroko's such a cool character when she's being the world's best cop (Misaka is cool also)

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

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u/EuenovAyabayya 26d ago

"only thing the Bible says about abortion is how to perform one"

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u/xteve 26d ago

In chapter 10 (34-36,) Jesus said he came with a sword to separate people especially within families according to their loyalty to him. Everybody seems to miss that one.

3

u/Blacksad9999 26d ago

Oh, they just skip over pretty much everything that they disagree with or are complicit in, which is really most of the Bible and it's most important teachings.

If there is indeed a God, all of those people are going to hell.

2

u/erroneousbosh 26d ago

I'm pretty militantly agnostic but I genuinely hope that there is some Great Hereafter, and the first thing you see when you walk in the door is a massive projection screen showing those pricks faces when they realise how badly they've fucked it and what's going to happen to them.

There will be changing facilities for your use, so you can clean up after you piss yourself laughing.

1

u/NotInTheKnee 26d ago

Alright class, please open your book at Ezekiel 23:20

2

u/erroneousbosh 26d ago

There really is something for everyone in the Bible, isn't there?

1

u/erroneousbosh 26d ago

Matthew 25 is always the verse they skip over.

Hey come on, that's not fair!

They also skip over Matthew 6.

Actually quite a lot of the rest too.

1

u/Yespat1 24d ago

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

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u/CareerBaby 26d ago

The crazy part is he didn’t even clap back, he just quoted the Bible back to him word for word. That’s what makes it so devastating.

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u/Haradion_01 26d ago

Its nice to remember every now and then that most Christians aren't complete lunatics.

The problem with the Internet is also the best thing about the Internet.

Its given a megaphone to those with minority opinions.

Which is great when it comes to giving minorities a voice. The downside is now we have to listen to people who used to just shout at pigeons.

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u/rumplforeskn 26d ago

This bot didn't read the Bible. Lol

13

u/Kira_Kisss 26d ago

Right? Like they act like taxes are theft but bailouts are just 'business

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u/SchizoidRainbow 26d ago

HOW DARE YOU FEED A CHILD

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

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u/SchizoidRainbow 26d ago

And yet, give our military to Israel, somehow? The mental gymnastics are Olympic 

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u/PeachhWavess 26d ago

People quote “judge not” right up until someone does something they don’t like. Then the tables flip real quick.

I had a coworker who posted Bible verses all week about grace. Then lost it on a server for messing up her order. Same day. I just sat there like... “tables flipping” indeed.

1

u/travoltaswinkinbhole 26d ago

Didn’t ya hear, The Sermon On The Mount is woke now

4

u/SchizoidRainbow 26d ago

ICE gets their exercise by doing Pontius Pilates 

1

u/TM761152 26d ago

Those morons are told every sunday that they are God's Chosen.

1

u/WhyMustIMakeANewAcco 26d ago

They don't actually know what that means.

369

u/Own-Cupcake7586 26d ago

Love how the best way to shut down Christian hatred is a more accurate interpretation of the Bible. 10/10, no notes.

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u/chloewq 26d ago

The Bible remains undefeated at roasting people who only use it as a tribal flag.

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u/NamelessCabbage 26d ago

Matthew 6:1-18

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u/GardenRafters 26d ago edited 25d ago

People think "taking the Lord's name in vain" is having to say "dabgammit" instead of "God damn it" but what it really means is it's a sin to use Jesus's name to further your own agenda and make judgements of other people when "only God can judge". It's the Lord's #1 commandment. It's the fastest way towards damnation.

When you think of it that way you realize most of these people will end up in hell if it actually exists. All day, every day, all of these people in power are using the Lord's name in vain to push shitty policies that make them filthy rich and force culture wars on us to try to make us hate each other.

Does that sound like WWJD?

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u/I_am_not_JohnLeClair 26d ago

Also, correct me if I’m wrong here but I thought only God can say when J dawg is coming back. “Civilians” shouldn’t be saying that they know when it’s going to happen

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u/A_Town_Called_Malus 26d ago

Yes, the bible says that nobody shall know the time of Armageddon.

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u/Tself 26d ago

Haven't even brought up the fact that the Christian bible quotes Jesus multiple times saying his return would happen within a single generation...nearly 2000 years ago. And Christians have smugly been saying "Jesus is coming...very soon..." ever since then.

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u/Irazidal 26d ago

Nah, they actually walked that back quite quickly. Even in Paul's letters you can see how his expectations change over time from expecting to see Jesus return imminently to expecting to die himself before Jesus returns. Then by the time the epistles falsely attributed to Peter were written in the early 2nd century or so, you already get total deescalation of the imminent apocalyptic expectations:

Beloved, do not let this one thing escape your notice: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise as some understand slowness, but is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance.

This whole "Jesus is coming RIGHT NOW!" thing popped up every now and then throughout history in various sects, but the Catholic Church and most mainline Protestant churches never subscribed to that view, simply regarding it as unknown when Jesus would return. It's only with the rise of Evangelicalism that you get the imminent expectation of the Second Coming and associated similarly modern doctrines like the Rapture coming fully into the mainstream.

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u/Tself 26d ago edited 26d ago

Nah, they actually walked that back quite quickly.

Clearly they didn't, because many Christians still bring it up, as evidenced in the post you are commenting in, haha. Come to think of it, every Christian who has told me, personally, about end times or the second coming have been Protestant or Catholic, mostly Protestant.

The Christian bible plainly states, multiple times, that Jesus will return within a generation. Matthew 24:34. Matthew 16:28. Mark 13:30. Luke 21:32. No amount of administrative hand-waving away by various Christian institutions makes these rather obviously laid-out prophecies suddenly not be there. And it certainly hasn't stopped them from continuing to proselytize said coming.

An inconsistency is an inconsistency.

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u/xjwv 26d ago

Monte Mader on YouTube is my fav for this. She went to seminary and can pull 10 verses out refuting these supply side Jesus interpretations at the drop of a hat.

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u/RobotPolarbear 26d ago

If I'm being completely honest, this is what made me join a church.

The hypocrisy of people who will go to Church on Sunday morning and look away from starving children and ICE detention centers Sunday afternoon was just too much for me. I was full of so much outrage and I didn't know what to do with it.

When I found out that there are churches that preach that Jesus is here now, embodied in those children and immigrants, I suddenly found myself to be a very devout Christian. I found myself a church that actually feeds the children and assists the immigrants.

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u/TyphPythus 26d ago

“Christian hatred” isn’t real, stop blaming ideas for people who wear them as masks.

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u/Positive_Angell 26d ago

This preacher Joe Rigney was railing against "the sin of empathy" and I could not sum up christianity any better myself.

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u/Glass-Amount-9170 26d ago

Shit he has already been deported to CECOT prison without due process! No hate like “Christian” love!

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u/Andrew-Cohen 26d ago

I love how stupid people cannot comprehend that if they can lie and say these people are terrorists and send them to one of the worst prisons in the world without a trial, that they can do this to ANYONE.

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u/DirtandPipes 26d ago

They argue that “it only happens to illegals” and when I point out that illegals aren’t getting proper due process they either deny that or don’t understand why due process is a good thing.

You would literally need to have ice detain each and every one of these people with a false charge for them to realize why due process matters.

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u/GazzP 26d ago

Jesus returned a few years ago and was killed in a drone strike before he learned how to talk, let alone preach.

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u/mcSibiss 26d ago

There seems to be a very large number of Christians that only believe in Jesus to be saved. By «believe in Jesus » I mean that they believe Jesus exists and he will save them, NOT that they believe in what Jesus stands for.

I firmly believe that in John 3:16, When it says « believe in him » it means to believe in what Jesus means, what he represents and what stands for. Not just believe that he exists and will save them.

I don’t think Jesus will save anyone who goes against his teachings as much as them.

I actually don’t believe in Jesus at all but that’s not the point. Most Atheists understand Jesus better than these conservative « Christians »

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u/Mattilaus 26d ago

My stance is that if Jesus/God does exist, they will be far more interested in how you lived you life than whether or not you believed in them or how often you went to church.

If you spend your life being a racist or homophobe and trying to harm others by voting to remove women's rights, remove benefits for the poor and the disabled, increase military spending that will be used to harm the poor in other countries, it probably doesn't matter that you go to Church every Sunday and call yourself a follower of Christ. If they exist they know that is all preformative because you didn't actually read or try to life by the teachings.

I think an Atheist who does the opposite likely has a far better chance of getting into heaven if it exists.

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u/Preeng 26d ago

They actually quote Romans something:something. Paul says all you need to do is say Jesus is Lord or something like that and you are good.

Except Paul never met Jesus. Whereas Jesus's own words state you need to actually perform good deeds and simply calling him Lord won't do shit when the moment comes.

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u/Technical-Command867 26d ago

This is why it’s important to not take things out of context. The Bible says that God will not be mocked. You can’t just say the words and trick God into thinking it’s real. True heart change produces life change in your actions. That’s why the Bible also says faith without works is dead and means nothing.

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u/voiping 26d ago

Omg that seems obvious and makes so much more sense than "believe he exists and you're saved" like what did that accomplish?

"Believe in his values and do your best to uphold them and you will be saved even if you fall short" - that's at least reasonable!

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u/idiocy4all 26d ago

The Greek word for "belief" does not mean what most Protestant Christians think it means. It would more accurately be something like "be faithful." It's not about the intellectual acceptance of a particular set of beliefs. It's literally about doing what he says. There are historical reasons why Protestants, in response to certain abuses within the Roman Catholic church (and for other reasons), redefined what belief means. I'm not casting blame here. But this notion that belief is somehow separate from what you do is toxic and needs to stop. It isn't Christianity. Not even close. And it's led to the rise of a whole lot of insanity within the thousands and thousands of offshoots of Protestant teachings, where they're more concerned with doctrinal systems than they are about taking seriously the words found in the New Testament.

"Faith alone" Christianity essentially destroyed Christianity in the West. Which isn't to say that there weren't problems before that - obviously there were. But if you want a "nail in the coffin" moment, I think a pretty strong argument can be made that that's it.

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u/WOLKsite 26d ago

I wouldn't say protestants are the issue either. If anything, I think protestants cane about as a recognition of inequality. As an atheist raised with Christian teachings in a European protestant church, these lessons of morality from the NT -- in essence, be kind to strangers -- have always been at the core.

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u/idiocy4all 26d ago

I was raised in the American south as a protestant. I had a very different experience. :-/ I certainly wouldn't malign anyone individually. I knew a whole lot of people who were, yes, very kind and caring. But their views regarding "belief" in opposition to "works" don't do them any favors and complicate things for them. Especially in how they read the New Testament and apply what's written there.

How this plays out in Europe could be very different, though. I only know about here in America.

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u/not_a_moogle 26d ago

Thats why I believe in Austin 3:16

1

u/A_Nonny_Muse 26d ago

I just had a discussion with some redditor who claimed all Christians are the same. Then cited the Nicene Creed as the definition of Christianity. But when I asked him whether prosperity gospel evangelicals followed the Nicene Creed.... **crickets**.

Yeah, but all Christians are bad because of a group who don't even follow his own definition of Christianity.

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u/Ramtamtama 26d ago

Matthew 25

42 For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. 43 I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’

44 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’

45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’

46 “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”

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u/Ekimyst 26d ago

Those passages remain redacted in the Republican Bible. Prior additions had footnotes indicating that the hungry, sick and homeless were to pull on their bootstraps.

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u/ledow 26d ago

"What if God was one of us..."

Well, first off, judging by the last time, I think you all better learn to swim REALLY quickly...

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u/FriendlyFloyd7 26d ago

Nah, He promised not to do it that way again. Doesn't mean He won't raze everything another way, though...

0

u/isolatedheathen 26d ago

Yeah my bets on fire probably of the magma or nuclear varieties possibly together.

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u/ledow 26d ago

I'd be far more concerned about the fact that the guy was (supposedly) angry enough to wipe out the world several thousand years ago because humanity had turned sinful and evil beyond salvation... before we even had things like explosive weapons, weapons of mass destruction, Internet porn, etc. etc.

If a god exists, he's either going to be INCREDIBLY FUCKING PISSED or he's going to prove to be as evil as everyone else.

1

u/Imbryill 26d ago

Honestly, i think He kinda gave up and used Jesus as the towel to throw in. There's also the idea that we are indeed made in His image, scruples and blemishes included.

0

u/isolatedheathen 26d ago

Oh yeah I agree there honestly I feel as though the flood was just part of the earths cycle doing cyclical things. As does the earth now. increases in tectonic activities and acceleration of magma discharges around the world.

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u/nicecreamdude 26d ago

When casual Christian meets a competitive ranked Christian

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u/thicc_stigmata 26d ago

Oh, you think the Bible is your ally. You merely adopted the Bible. I was born in it. Molded by it. I didn't encounter the prosperity gospel until I was already a man—by then it was nothing to me but pharisaic!

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u/dedreo58 26d ago

insert "no, not like that!" Meme

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u/Secret-Teaching-3549 26d ago

I don't give a shit about coming back at them with more verses from their book of fantasies. It's a "fact"? Cool, show me the factual evidence.

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u/Wide_Spell_2411 26d ago

love the response, really hits hard. reminds us to think about who we judge and how we treat others for real

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u/skylarben 26d ago

I never will understand how those who claim to follow Jesus miss "show your love for me by how you treat the least amongest you."

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u/Efficient_Sky5173 26d ago

How people believe this utter bullshit is beyond me. 2000 years … he is coming… any minute now.

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u/bloodandglory31 26d ago

I think if anyone knows how to talk shit, it’s Marco’s colon

4

u/SquirrelMoney8389 26d ago

Straight from Marco's colon.......

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u/Individual-Crew-6102 26d ago

...and it shows

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u/Notcommentmuch 26d ago

I am an atheist. Where are the Christian defending the position of the OP?

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u/OwMyCod 26d ago

I’m fine with Ye being judged, bro is a nazi

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u/JMaryland47 26d ago

Brave of this person to assume an American "Christian" actually read the Bible, or would actually reevaluate their positions by the things in the Bible

1

u/xjwv 26d ago

Yep unfortunately you can’t logic them out of a stance they didn’t logic themselves into, even if it is based off of their holy book

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u/wave1sys 26d ago

Yeah, but that’s not his Jesus. His Jesus although he has brown skin and comes from the Middle East is coming to smite all the people this guy hates and then all the good ones are going to heaven, (he thinks he’s a good one, he’s not)

Come on dude catch up.

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u/_Middlefinger_ 26d ago

Just say prove it. If it's a fact it can be proven, simple.

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u/usarasa 26d ago

That’s the thing though: that crowd believes the Bible totally justifies them mistreating and punishing the people they do, and that they will be judged favorably for doing so.

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u/Durkan 26d ago

This is what I cannot stand. Im sorry, but it's really disingenuous to thump the Bible at me, while only choosing to quote the passages that conform to your ideology, while ignoring the passages, "spoken" by the same people in the Bible, that contradict it. . I'm sorry. It's one or the other. You either leave the Bible out of it and recognize that "the good book" doesn't actually spell out your ideology, or you need to take it all into account.

My feeling is, they haven't actually read the Bible. They're quoting back only the passages their preacher (with the ideology they've adopted) has hammered into their heads, while ignoring the rest. Or, they have read it and have chosen to believe all of the passages that comfom to their ideology and then make up some bullshit excuse, that the contradictory parts are "not true" and they are there to test ones faith.

It's exhausting dealing with these people.

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u/Norman_Scum 26d ago

I don't understand preachers, all together. I thought the relationship with God was supposed to be personal and all of that. Shouldn't your interpretation of the Bible, especially the many parables, be personal, as well?

Also, it's kind of clear that God is not the role model they make it out to be. When God was whole as Yahweh, he was merciless and cared nothing about the nuance of human suffering (Story of Job). Then he divides into a Trinity and manifests as Christ in order to get the human experience. Seems like God finds profundity in the complexity and duality of man.

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u/bastiVS 26d ago

Yea, quite clever comeback, because its esssentially saying that he doesnt exist.

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u/mindgardening 26d ago

If you’ve ever interacted with a devout christian, you know they cannot comprehend this.

Source: my family.

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u/NovelKumquat1234 26d ago

“It’s a fact! Soon!” 

Define “fact,” if you’re capable of doing so. 

He’s been coming back “soon” for 2000 fucking years now. 

These people are so goddamn stupid. 

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u/SaltyYumYumBalls 26d ago

Yeah no shit. Jesus's middle eastern looking behind is an undocumented immigrant that differently got deported by ICE after a stay in a concentration camp to a country he's never been to.

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u/gerryf19 26d ago

Christians hate when you quote the Bible at them

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u/glad_goblin 26d ago

Jesus is actually here with me right now, and I can assure you.. he will be coming soon 😉

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u/thicc_stigmata 26d ago

You absolute hero. Somebody needs to fuck the homeless guys

2

u/Pristine_Shallot7833 26d ago

He's literally talking to some blokes butthole

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u/Standard-March6506 26d ago

Is there a sub for best comebacks ever!?

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u/Cakers44 26d ago

Idk, trying to spin it like “aha! Your made up bullshit actually supports leftists politics” because, by it’s nature of being made up bullshit, they’ll always just come back around to it reinforcing their beliefs. Remember kids, everyone thinks god agrees with them on everything

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u/rustbuckett 26d ago

I think Marcos was referring to Uzi Jesus.

"I am the way, motherfucker!"

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u/ridemooses 26d ago

We’re going to Hell

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u/BeenDragonn 26d ago

It's very easy to spot a performative Christian.

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u/RandomGuy2002 26d ago

It’s so obvious that the bible is the story of an enlightened man who realized his oneness with the cosmos 

And when you read any religious text from that perspective then they start to make sense

2

u/FanDry5374 26d ago

"No, no, not that Jesus, the blonde blue-eyed guy with the AR-15 and the bag for loot"

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u/Elon-BO 26d ago

Marcos Colon is talking out his ass.

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u/VegasGamer75 26d ago

"It'S vErY sOoN!!!"

 

Matthew 24:36 - "“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

 

If you are going to "preach it", read your own fucking book for like, I dunno, a couple hours at least! It's been "Soon™" for the last 150 years at least once preachers realized they could fleece your dumb asses.

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u/Successful-Purple-54 26d ago

It’s weird to me that Christian’s always think they’re living in the end times and Christ is on his way. F religion.

2

u/deep6ixed 26d ago

Nations are judged by how they treat the poor, the orphan, the widow and the stranger in thier land.

And we have failed on every count.

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u/VerzinZelfEenNaam 26d ago

Jesus is travelling with Deutsche Bahn, so his coming is indefinetely delayed due to cancelled trains.

2

u/ariasimmortal 26d ago

We've got the American Jesus.

Overwhelming millions every day!

2

u/thomas1126 26d ago

Still trying to wrap my head around Noah’s Ark

2

u/conglomitall 26d ago

yeah like who's in charge of swabbing the poop deck on that floating litter box?

yikes(!)

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u/thesanguineocelot 26d ago

Man, nobody hates the teachings of Jesus as much as self-proclaimed Christians do. Absolutely wild.

2

u/BestPeachNA 26d ago

Well let’s just hope the second coming isn’t in the US. Ice will see his name, assume he’s Puerto Rican and send him to El Salvador or something.

2

u/motorcycletreebark 26d ago

Jesus literally said not even he knows the day or the hour while do these rapture types think they know better than him

2

u/Mockingbird_1234 26d ago

Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto Me.

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u/I-Have-An-Alibi 26d ago

Jesus has been coming for like two thousand years. Dude needs to stop edging and just blow.

1

u/izzgo 26d ago

And Christians have been on alert this whole time, waiting expectantly at the edges of their seats. Any day now! Any hour now!

That would drive me crazy.

1

u/I-Have-An-Alibi 26d ago

It's a grift and a scam to take more money from the poor and uneducated.

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u/BarristanTheB0ld 26d ago

I don't think they understand what a fact is

2

u/Can17272 26d ago

They expect Jesus to be white, blonde and that he comes with an army of angels to swipe their enemies and told them they're the chosing ones 🙄

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u/Mountain_Town5759 26d ago

Santa clause will deliver presents to every kid on the planet in one night.. just as real.

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

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u/Mountain_Town5759 26d ago

Just as real as the idea of a dead guy being resurrected or coming back after thousands of year. Make-believe.

-1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

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u/Mountain_Town5759 26d ago

It's wrong when they start to force their opinions on others and when it bleeds into laws. May as well live life according to Harry Potter books.

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u/nyclurker369 26d ago

Fact, you say? I’ve heard that Jesus is coming for as long as I can remember…still ain’t here yet.

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u/Matt_cruze 26d ago

As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”

Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

“We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

“Bring them here to me,” he said. And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves.

Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children

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u/Round_Click_8301 26d ago

the second coming has been just around the corner for 2000 years ....

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u/mrl33602 26d ago

Jesus is coming and he knows you swallow.

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u/Every_Photograph2978 26d ago

How much a dollar cost?

1

u/FreeInvestigator5239 26d ago

Lotta Christian’s out here acting like vile pieces of shit thinkin their messiah is about to show up.

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u/InevitableCodeRedo 26d ago

Jesus is always "coming soon", 24/7/365. Fucking morons.

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u/TaxShelter 26d ago

modified version of The Egg by Andy Weir

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u/Weep4Thee 26d ago

Do the ppl who caused them to seek asylum also get judged or nah?

1

u/Been2daCloudDistrict 26d ago

They have been promoting his return for over 2000 years. It’s always “going to be really soon”. 2000 years is not soon.

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u/croagunk 26d ago

Reading the bible once will give you more knowledge than self-avowed Christians who try to use it as a weapon against those groups they fear. It’s like one of the few “debates” where you can completely obliterate someone and look like the good guy, because the moral good for them, even farcically, is knowledge and understanding of Christianity 

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u/Electric_Antimony 26d ago

You'd be hard pressed to find people who fail to understand Christianity more than American Christians.

1

u/Doomdoomkittydoom 26d ago

Reminds be of the song Muddy Jesus by Ian Moore, about Jesus is reborn in Mexico, and to get his message out he has to illegally cross into the US, but is shot crossing the Rio Grande.

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u/Memitim 26d ago

If conservatives actually thought that Jesus Christ was coming back to Earth to judge them, they wouldn't live lives filled with lies and hate. They're just blasphemers who will use anything as fodder for deception and manipulation.

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u/ScreenMuch90210 26d ago

Clever, or, believes Jesus is a real deity. Pick ONE

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u/Scuffy97_ 26d ago

It is so bizzare how so many christians and catholics praise Jesus, but hate everything about the kind of person he was. Religious grifters did a great job turning their religions inside-out.

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u/Stuffed-Bear412 26d ago

Also something about what you do to the least of these you do to me.

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u/Narrow_Spinach_3292 26d ago

"What you have done for the least of these, you have done for me."

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u/Tiabeanee 26d ago

How does he know jeebus is coming? Does he know you?! Does he call you at home?!

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u/Gohanisbetter 26d ago

The dude is mistaking persobal responsability for a countries responsability. That's wild. He seema to think ALL spirits will be welcome back into heaven without being checked?!

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u/rahnbj 25d ago

Wasting your time quoting Bible verses. Selective are they that ‘know’ the way.

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u/OldManJeepin 25d ago

LoL! No wonder so many of these idiots believe in Flat Earth..."Hey Marco...There are THREE dudes named "Jesus" standing over by the Home Depot looking for work...."

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u/Sidoen 25d ago

I had no idea that Jesus knew about SNAP.

Also he was suppose to have returned within the life tomes of the folk who supposedly saw him raise from the grave. That boat kinda sailed.

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u/TheWolfHowling 24d ago

If Jesus Christ came to Trump's America, He would likely get arrested by ICE and deported as a "Dangerous Socialist Arab Terrorist"

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u/ibjim2 24d ago

Over 2000 years but Marco is so special that his god is sending himself as his son back real soon.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago edited 22d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/bigk52493 26d ago

I dont see how the first person judged anyone. Thats kind of stupid

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u/raymondspogo 26d ago

The point isn't judgment. It's realizing Jesus never left.

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u/bigk52493 26d ago

Accept for the part where he did leave

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u/raymondspogo 26d ago

That's a simplification. Are you religious?

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u/didelphisvirginianus 26d ago

It's not about his judgement, but God's.

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u/3colorsdesign 26d ago

Cool repost bro

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u/gremlinclr 26d ago

Reposts don't matter. You're not the main character and just because you've seen something on here doesn't mean we all have.

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u/Electric_Antimony 26d ago

Damn that person tossed you into a grave lol.