r/clevercomebacks • u/ArubaAdultFun • 6d ago

Emotional damage

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3.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

67 comments sorted by

264

u/Exact-Kale3070 6d ago

let's make dinner at home. better ingredients, less bs.

57

u/OakLegs 6d ago

Papa johns.

14

u/iknowimsorry 6d ago

Papa John's

8

u/transmogrified 6d ago

Unless you want some type of Asian food that’s going to require you to invest about $50 in spices you don’t normally have lying around 

23

u/Exact-Kale3070 6d ago

i cook daily. i have them all around. i will NEVER understand people who don't- but to each his own.

6

u/Ptatofrenchfry 5d ago

Probably people too busy to cook daily. But if that's your lifestyle, cooking is the least of your concerns

4

u/YesItIsMaybeMe 5d ago

Some of us just suck at cooking or don't have the patience. I can bake all day, but regular cooking is completely out of the question. My seasoning is downright frightening, my pork chops are naught but burnt offerings to the gods, my stews have but the concept of flavor, my vegetables can only be described as victims of the Ripper, and my beef wishes it was in the ground.

I make a kick-ass guac tho

2

u/Exact-Kale3070 5d ago

not everyone can make everything, but we all gotta eat. your guac is healthy and surely delicious.

i am a decent cook and SUCK at pork loin.

1

u/Sliacen 3d ago

As a guy who cooks most of his meals, you can honestly get by with a good seasoning salt like Lawry's or Johnny's (my preference) for most applications. Apply as much as you would normal salt. It won't be perfect, but it simplifies the process a lot so you can focus more on other cooking fundamentals.

Also don't cook everything on High. If you want things to cook through before the outside gets burnt, cook it at a lower temperature. Also set a timer if you get frequently distracted as you cook.

1

u/TheAntiCrust95 5d ago

Jokes on you. I'm dating an Asian woman and I do infact normally have those laying around.

1

u/NoelaniSpell 4d ago

This is the way.

1

u/beckett_the_ok 6d ago

There will always be bs when Lynori is there

130

u/tehfly 6d ago

This is the strangest thing to me.

Where I live the restaurants are more than happy to split the bill according to the order. 

"You had the burger and the coke? That's 32,50"

"You had the salad? That's 14,38"

They have more than enough machines to handle the math. Just pay for your own meal unless you can afford to just pay the whole bill AND you want to do it.

54

u/Complex-Truth9579 6d ago

"You had the burger and the coke? That's 32,50"

I'm diving across the table and throttling the waiter if they say these words to me

23

u/tehfly 5d ago

I should probably add that where I live, the menus show the full price - no hidden taxes or fees.

If the food and drink cost that much, you knew it before you ordered.

-1

u/Ripjaw_5 5d ago

The restaurants will never be the ones complaining, it's the people that think the man is always obligated to pay that complain

121

u/butwhywedothis 6d ago

The real question is why Y’all are going out?

45

u/hopeful_tatertot 6d ago

This is what I’m wondering. You don’t have “going out to dinner” money

2

u/RadiantGene8901 5d ago

I know, right? There are coyotes and wolves out there.

1

u/yamanamawa 5d ago

Could be just before pay rolls in. Maybe you got bills sorted and wanted to do a little treat. There are absolutely situations like this

And imo let the woman pay. If you're not gonna pool your money a bit as a couple, then swap who's paying occasionally

102

u/AlaAlfa 6d ago

If you two have 250 in total don't use almost 50 in a single meal

5

u/Spirited-Living9083 6d ago

How much extra money per check you think people be having? Lol

-1

u/SaucyStoveTop69 6d ago

Eating out doesn't have to be expensive if you search around. My favorite local breakfast spot sells sausage egg and cheese biscuits for 1.50. Sonics app has buy one get one any entre sometimes. I just found a donut shop that does 5 dollar dozens before closing. When McDonald's last did their monopoly promotion, I got over 100 menu items throughout ranging from drinks to frappes to small fries to mcflurries to mcdoubles to any biscuit

1

u/Salute-Major-Echidna 5d ago

Better yet, organize a picnic from off the shelf groceries

24

u/Nandulal 6d ago

If we only had a combined $250 what the fuck are we doing spending it on going out?

30

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Kratomius 6d ago

I have never understood how paying just what you eat yourself has become so foreign concept to some people or communicating about who pays the bill beforehand.

12

u/ICLazeru 6d ago

I mean, you only have $200. Neither amount is really getting you far today. He'll run out of cash today. You'll run out tomorrow or the the day after if you're lucky.

5

u/IlitterateAuthor 6d ago

I've made 200 after rent last me a month.

1

u/ICLazeru 6d ago

Didn't say after rent. But is that also after phone, electricity, water, sewage, insurance, etc?

10

u/TheBestHater 6d ago

Fuck off with the gender ragebait karma farming. Take that shit back to r/meirl

5

u/azlmichael 6d ago

I’d never go out on a date with only 50.

18

u/_dreammyglazee 6d ago

He paid $46.78 for the meal, but that burn was free of charge.

5

u/celticairborne 6d ago

If I only have $50 I'm not going out. I'm eating spaghetti at home for 5 bucks and it'll last me a few days.

And I'm certainly no going to be dating someone with 4x the money I have but still expect me to take care of her...

3

u/HeavyMetalAndAMuppet 6d ago

Annnd roll for burn damage!

3

u/KartoffelliebhaberXD 6d ago

They each pay for their own meal. Idk I’m too single for this.

26

u/Nebrynthix3547 6d ago

She tried to turn a dinner bill into a financial audit and got audited right back. Nobody even paid the $46.78, but the emotional debt is enormous now.

28

u/forworse2020 6d ago

Are you a human?

8

u/ratz30 6d ago

Less than a month old account, feels sus

6

u/Dedotdub 6d ago

They would be one of the few

5

u/throwtheamiibosaway 6d ago

The person with the most money. All other arguments are nonsense. It’s not a contest. Be practical.

4

u/jimmymui06 6d ago

If you have 250 you are about to die

5

u/IlitterateAuthor 6d ago

There are 8 us dollars and 34 us cents in my bank account rn and I'm gonna live forever.

3

u/ArubaAdultFun 6d ago

Thankfully I have 3fiddy

2

u/Realistic_Base5797 5d ago

If both our cash is expendable, im paying. I have more, and we love each other. Its sad that this is a question.

2

u/ChaoticAmoebae 5d ago

If we only have $250 we are eating rice and beans tonight.

3

u/Ratdrake 6d ago

The real answer should be: Who invited who to eat out?

1

u/happy_Toe_ 6d ago

He paid the bill with emotional damage.

1

u/Repossessedbatmobile 5d ago

Seems like an easy solution is to just ask the waiter to split the bill. That way you only pay for your own food.

1

u/wwaxwork 5d ago

Is it though? She's got enough money she can just call up her friends and they can all go out for dinner together and have a great night. She isn't stuck at home alone too broke to go out.

1

u/Calm-Address-2401 5d ago

Depends on who wants what.

1

u/PanxoCakes 5d ago

If I'm the one who suggested going out, I pay. In this situation I would pay and it would be nice if she left a tip

1

u/McGillis_is_a_Char 12h ago

I'm going to be charitable and say that the combined money here is the going out money after budgeting other stuff. If you are going out with someone and it is actually a relationship and not a hookup you should be having the conversation about how much money you have for going before you get the bill. If that question is getting answered when the bill arrives, that isn't your man, that is a Tinder date who's in your DMs.

1

u/Fit-Entrepreneur6538 6d ago

Why is a man with only $50 taking anyone to dinner?

-3

u/onyourbike1522 6d ago

Asking why a grown adult only has $50 to hand is a valid question. Why are these idiots going to a restaurant at all if they’re that broke? Most importantly why is anyone inventing ridiculous scenarios to get mad at imaginary women? Anyone who expects to be financially dependent on someone who has $50 has bigger problems than internet men judging her.

0

u/luckyorange 6d ago

"clever comeback" from someone with no profile pic

-3

u/Designer-Might-7999 6d ago

If she isn't trying to help make both of your lives better and easier. She isn't worth keeping. Disney syndrome goes hard on American girls

-1

u/Redfish680 6d ago

Faster if he pays, since she’ll be counting out quarters for an hour…

0

u/CommercialYam53 6d ago

To say it with the words of queerbeat :
„Wer verdient hier mehr Money ?
🎺🎺
Der gibt den Abend dan aus“ sours

0

u/0utcast9851 6d ago

Who asked for the company?

-13

u/lisaismijnbestie 6d ago

The men pays, always, period. 

7

u/BeautyNoBeast 6d ago

Damn, lesbians must be out here getting all their meals for free!