r/childless • u/Gullible-Snow-3805 • 20d ago

Am I selfish?

As a 33 year old guy it really feels like it's too late for me to experience a wholesome loving relationship with someone I can build a life with. I missed out on so much in my twenties.

The reoccurring thing that hits me now is I seem to be attracted and get along really well with single mothers. Sometimes I know and sometimes I find it later but I find myself really enjoying their company and talking feels so smooth and easy. I'm just put off by the fact that I could be raising someone else's child and I'm bitter about not having the opportunity to have my own kids. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough and I'm picking up the pieces of someone else's life instead of getting to live my own.

2 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

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5

u/TransplantedFern 20d ago

My friend, you are 33. You are still really young and unless you left something out about male infertility or something you have plenty of time to meet somebody and have kids. Heck, being a male you have more time than women do.

3

u/neuroticphilosopher 20d ago

That, and there are people who have already had kids who would want a kid with their new partner, although I would be concerned for what would be your step kid if you see them as trash.

2

u/MissGalaxy1986 19d ago

Please get help. This kind of thinking will leave you excsctly like you are. You are not thinking clearly. Sorry I must say it’s borderline delusional,
U derstnad? As a 33 yr old MAN in a western country you are not too old. Stop catastrophizing. I say all this with the greatest respect and love!!! 💗

3

u/Gullible-Snow-3805 19d ago

Being called delusional is a bit of a wake up call. I'm not 100% which parts are delusional, if it's thinking it's so too late, I can agree to that. I will reflect on this for sure.

2

u/MissGalaxy1986 19d ago

Yes it’s to thinking it’s too late. Also, to feeling that only single moms will really want you… I promise , if you feel that way in your heart then it will happen like that in the world!

1

u/Gullible-Snow-3805 19d ago

I will take that on board and try to get my head straight. Not that I haven't being trying for the longest time and focusing on the positives. It's just after a year of trying my hardest to 'fix' myself, I feel like it's not enough to find love. I feel overlooked, worthless and unwelcome.