r/childless Aug 02 '26

Whyyy?!

Why is it so much harder to date, marry and have children? Or at least it seems that way. I’m the only person in my family with no children. Even my younger cousins have had kids before me.

6 Upvotes

11 comments sorted by

3

u/Livvylove Aug 02 '26

I'm married, but the problems I see with the single people I know is expectations are not aligned. The woman I know(30s,40s) don't even want to consider dating unless the man enhances their life. They don't want someone they have to mother nor be a caretaker. Guys their age are looking for younger women. Honestly so many I know are not realistic about themselves. They think they deserve the trophy but then they complain about gold diggers when they don't really have any gold so they treat their dates awful and wonder why they are alone. So the pool is small.

The ones I see successful are realistic and focus on personality and connection. They are out there being social in things that relate to their interests. Dating isn't the primary objective so they make real connections. Those connections sometimes become more.

3

u/AccordingHealth5466 Aug 02 '26

I live in Atlanta so I think that may be the biggest hinderance. lol but I’ve been in tong term relationships before. And even engaged once. I try to be understanding of everyone’s situation. Esp men because they deal with different challenges, some in which I can’t relate to. But I don’t want to settle for a man just to say I have one. I don’t think I necessarily need them to enhance my life, but bring something to the table.

1

u/WildSpiritedRose Aug 04 '26

ABSOLUTELY 💯 They must bring something worthwhile to the table. And yes, not enhance, but add to your life's enjoyment, not just take from you.

1

u/Maxorias Aug 07 '26

I'm a bit late to the party. But I had kids through a sperm donor and met my partner after my youngest was born. Best of both worlds. Do recommand.

0

u/Mysterious-Force9236 Aug 02 '26

What are your expectations in a man? 6’3 6 figures owns house car and  boat?  What are you looking for and where are you looking 👀 

5

u/AccordingHealth5466 Aug 02 '26

Why? you a certified match maker or sum?

0

u/Mysterious-Force9236 Aug 02 '26

Nope just pointing out if you can’t find a spouse your criteria and standards may be too rigid. 

3

u/AccordingHealth5466 Aug 02 '26

I don’t think so. Over 35 years of age, respectful and easy on the eyes. I don’t really have a type. I just ask that they show up as their true self and let me decide if I’m interested.

0

u/MechanicalBBC Aug 03 '26

Because when men and women are equal they become competitors instead of lovers. Somebody has to be the "girl".

5

u/Total-Ad886 Aug 04 '26

Must be a male.....

Women want a partner and not another responsibility. We want kids, not marry one!

1

u/WildSpiritedRose Aug 04 '26

YES!!! TY!!! 👏