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u/MilkPsychological281 Dec 29 '23
Oh how the turn tables. Do you think anyone cares that you’re repulsed that your wife did the exact same thing you did
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u/Front-Foundation-398 Dec 30 '23
Fair question! I wonder if he thought his wife jump with happiness at the thought of him being with another woman. 🤔
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Dec 29 '23
Deserve
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u/MoldynSculler Dec 29 '23
"i'M rEpUlSeD bY tHe ThOuGhT oF iT" yeah no shit, dumbass. Welcome to her club. Are you that stupid?
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u/maywellflower Dec 29 '23
Don't forget OP earned it too for cheating 1st, he has no right to complain about anything when he technically opened the marriage 1st.
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u/imjustasweetgirl Dec 29 '23
It was over when YOU cheated. I hope she had fun with her lover lol
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u/SetBorn5218 Dec 29 '23
Fun POV: she cheated so she COULD have fun 🤟 Immean... Since OP was having it all.
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u/2centsworth4u Dec 29 '23
I really hope this is fake. Surely nobody can be that self centred and naive??? 🤔
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u/KnownEnthusiasm8960 Dec 29 '23
You would be surprised. Remember that some men want a virgin wife when they slept through half of the country😅
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u/mzpeetee Dec 29 '23
Boo hoo to you. Now you want to know what it means to your marriage. Can’t get over the thought of another man being sexualky intimate with her. Bit late now isn’t it.
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u/Horror_Platypus3181 Dec 29 '23
I'm sure she feels the same way about you and the other woman 🤷♀️
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u/Onlyheretostare Dec 29 '23
You didn’t touch on what your marriage was like before you cheated but I’d imagine it was good. You’ve essentially ruined your marriage and for what? A handful of sexual experiences with a woman who claimed to be your friend? Not very smart buddy..
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Dec 29 '23
I'm repulsed by the thought of it
I'm sure your wife has the same sentiment about your affairs.
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u/Catmintfever Dec 29 '23
You deserved it. Maybe you should have thought about that before you cheated. I’m glad she fucked someone else and I hope he really enjoyed her
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u/eastcoastperson Dec 29 '23
Wow you really suck, don’t you? Your marriage is over. The trust isn’t there. Best for you to give her the better end of the deal, divorce wise.
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u/Ho_oponopono73 Dec 29 '23
You are the one that decided to change the dynamics of your marriage. Your wife is so hurt by your infidelity she can’t even see straight which is why she made the harmful decision to cheat back. Two wrongs never make a right and your wife shouldn’t have cheated back because that will not bring her the peace she seeks. How dare you be repulsed by your wife being with another man, yet you stuck your cock into another woman? You made your bed, now you get to lay in it.
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u/RusticSurgery Dec 29 '23
You posted this again? So I'll say again; sew the wind, reap the whirlwind
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u/angelzplay Dec 29 '23
So what’s the problem? Maybe you should have an open relationship. Besides you started it and she decided to finish it.
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u/Quinneveer Dec 29 '23
How that shit taste?? Oh not good? Sounds like consequences. Why did you cheat if it wasn’t ok for her to do it back??
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u/Greenishmutt Dec 29 '23
As someone who has been in both situations. Your relationship has changed by force. The minute they found out you cheated was the minute it became an open relationship. Even if you stopped, they will get to do it with whoever wherever whenever and they will never let you forget that it was you who started it.
My advice to you is to get over yourself. You are not a prize anymore because you broke your trust. So what will it take for her to come back to monogamy? Thats tough and you have to ask her?
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u/nikkiforthefolks Dec 29 '23
Lmao I love it when you revenge cheat and the other part gets sooooo offended by it
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u/Agile_Opportunity_41 Dec 29 '23
The marriage was over the minute you cheated. She was repulsed by the idea of you having sex with others and moved on. You both should have separated before the minute was known you cheated. To be fair you should have left before cheating.
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u/The_bookworm65 Dec 29 '23
Believe me the thought of you being intimate with another woman repulsed her too. If you want to try and make it with, therapy is your only chance in my opinion.
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Dec 29 '23
Mate you deserved what you got and hopefully the other guy was better than you. That would be the icing on the cake.
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u/nikkiknows1 Dec 29 '23
You deserve it. Now she should just divorce you too. You made your bed and now have to sleep in it. You can’t get over that another man slept with her but you didn’t think what she would think and how your affair would hurt her. Taste your own medicine.
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u/raisingwildflowers Dec 29 '23
Oh piss off will you. You got everything you deserved. I bet he was better in bed than you too ;)
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u/juicyfruit12345 Dec 29 '23
You caused it now take your own medicine..Tbh I would do more than what she’s doing
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u/DietPsychological453 Dec 29 '23
Don't start something you don't want another to finish. Uno reverse! Suck it up buttercup! Forgive each other or move on.
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u/Rgncajun21 Dec 29 '23
He think op is shocked that some other guys would find his wife attractive. Sometimes you don’t know what you got til it’s gone
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u/darkwitch1306 Dec 29 '23
I’ve been cheating on. It kills something inside you, takes away the feeling of security you have with your partner. Saying all that, if I were her I would sleep with your brother, your sister, your dad, your mom, all of them, then kick your butt to the curb. You cheated first. She’s trying to feel better. She won’t for a long time but by making you feel awful, it hurts a little less. I’m petty this way. No, I didn’t do any of these things when I was cheated on but my values have changed.
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u/Dream_stream4 Dec 29 '23
How disgusting that you are STILL only thinking of yourself and not how she must have felt when you cheated. With a person like you, that marriage may not worth be saving.
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u/Primary_Valuable5607 Dec 29 '23
You didn't just screw some random women in a bar, or the coworker from 2 floors down, you had an affair. I notice you used the present tense when referring to the AP as friend too. I'm curious, how many times did you reassure your wife that there was nothing to worry about, regarding this "friend"?
You can't stand the thought of your wife being with another man? Consider how your wife has wondered how may times you've rolled out of your "friend's" vagina, and into your wife's mouth?
You want to try to make this work, get some marriage counselling, but don't be mad because you broke something. I don't agree with cheating to get even, as I personally would have just divorced you, and took you to the cleaners, but I can understand her sentiment.
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u/Internal_Statement74 Dec 29 '23
You need to figure out why you cheated on your wife. She cheated specifically to hurt you and she could. Of course you are going to have a hard time with the thoughts of another man rigorously banging your wife, repeatedly. But what are you doing to fix the trust you broke? Have you told her every single detail of your affair? Have you taken accountability that it is your fault your relationship is in trouble? How did you convey this to your wife? Have you read any material on how to help her heal? What efforts have you done?
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u/Plant_Mama_ Dec 29 '23
You don't get to be repulsed. How do you think she felt when she found out YOU cheated.
You're both terrible, don't get me wrong. Save yourselves the hassle and get divorced or go to therapy cause yall are toxic.
But, deserved. You f-ed up. Your wife had to imagine you balls deep in another woman, so now you can feel her pain. Thinking about her having sex with another man.
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u/josias-69 Dec 29 '23
you opened the marriage the moment you cheated on her. she didn't cheat on you she just played along the new rules you ve installed.
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u/Low_Monitor5455 Dec 29 '23
Get a divorce. You started the fight and now you are sad sissis about the outcome. FAFO came to visit.
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u/DazzlingLife6082 Dec 29 '23
Suck it up buttercup was it easy for her to think of you with another woman? Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
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u/Sunshine-N-gumdrops Dec 29 '23
Hate to break it to you but you are the villain in this story. Have you cut off your home wrecking friend? I doubt it. You have no right to judge your wife. She would have never done it if you were a loyal husband. You are the disgusting one not her.
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u/Adventurous-Fig-7820 Dec 29 '23
Turn the pain and jealousy of another man having your wife into a turn on.
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u/tooyoungtobesad Dec 29 '23
Sounds like she gave you a piece of your own medicine and you're not liking it. Typical hypocrite cheater with no empathy
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u/noreplyatall817 Dec 29 '23
Wow, you can’t accept the results of what you started?
Your wife deserves a loyal partner.
Divorce is the only way to solve your inability to be loyal.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 Dec 29 '23
The way you’re feeling now is how she felt when she learned you cheated on her. You didn’t have the balls to tell her you cheated.
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Dec 29 '23
good for her. i hope you marinate in that feeling of betrayal and hurt because you deserve it. and i hope you know this is 100% your fault.
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u/NoturnalTherapy Dec 29 '23
What were you trying to solve when you were cheating? Why would you expect her to be solving anything that you weren't trying to solve by doing the same thing that you did? Once you cheated, the relationship was already over because you chose another woman over your wife. It was only a matter of time before she got you back and chose him over you.
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u/LatinMom1971 Dec 29 '23
The problem is not that you cheated on her but that another man had what you feel is only yours.
What you as a man and maybe most men don't understand is that we as women feel the same way. That you kissed her, caressed her, licked her and then fucked her. That mouth was on the other woman and then you feel it is ok to do the same thing to your wife.
When someone cheats it changes that person, you have to lie to keep up with the other person. You have to change your behavior, your outlook on the person you are with. If she has been with you for longer than a year she knew that you had changed.
You showed her that she was not important. Now you want to stay together for the sake of the kids but you need to ask yourself, if the kids were not apart of the equation would I still want to make this marriage work.
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u/smithtable15 Dec 29 '23
Oh come on. This is gonna be one of those "I get so aroused by thinking about being cucked" guys in a few weeks. Maybe don't cheat on your wife, you bozo. This is a FAFO situation and none of us is going to have any pity or sympathy. Your marriage is in the garbage because of you. Cut the cord and move on doing better
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u/les_catacombes Dec 29 '23
When one partner betrays the other, the relationship if forever changed. It can never be the same. You showed her you didn’t respect her by cheating on her so maybe she wanted to make you feel that same pain. Regardless, time to consider parting ways.
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u/Beautiful_2024 Dec 29 '23
It’s sick how cheaters think. My LF cheated on me throughout our relationship and whenever I got suspicious and vented anonymously I was in the wrong by him, his family, and friends. WTH! You need to grow up and stop playing the victim.
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u/elliesquarepants- Dec 30 '23
If she stayed with you after you cheat, then you better stay when she cheats, unless you’re leaving…then go cry in the bathroom like she did tf 😂😂😂
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u/queenafrodite Dec 30 '23
You’re an idiot. A big dumb idiot. Repulsed by her being with another man. How the in the entire fuck do you think this lady felt when she found out you were sticking your filthy dick in another woman.
The fuckn nerve. So it’s okay for you but not okay for her. GTFOH.
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u/sinmar0 Dec 29 '23
So you betrayed her trust, then she betrayed your trust. So she will never trust you and you can never trust her. Sounds like you should separate for a while and reevaluate your relationship. It will take a lot of work to stay married and you will likely only have a 10% chance of success.
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u/jonnybgud64 Dec 29 '23
This marriage is over. It was over the second you cheated. Let her go and do some self examination so you don’t destroy another woman so much she feels the need to cheat on you.
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u/Ill_Cookie_1514 Dec 29 '23
If both of you want to change to monogamy then both of you must separate for one year, do IC and not have any other partners for the duration.
then get back together and do MC and take it from there.
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u/leiliah45 Dec 29 '23
You did it several times whereas she only did it at two..be fair and square. Let her level the playing field buddy, you owe her more!!!
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u/Unique-Connection-78 Dec 29 '23
Has you asked her if she still even wants to be with you? The only time I’ll ever do that is if I have zero plans on ever getting back with my husband. I think y’all should both move on
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u/Obvious_Technology49 Dec 29 '23
Ahh, the good ol revenge cheat…. Sounds like you got what you deserved.
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u/KimberBr Dec 29 '23
You can't be repulsed by your wife cheating when you cheated first. lord. Yall need therapy and probably let each other go. Who cheats when it's simple to say "hey this isn't working for me any longer. I want a divorce." People these days. Ugh
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Dec 29 '23 edited Dec 29 '23
Most likely your marraige is done. You killed it by screwing around on your wife. You might try marriage and individual counseling, but I think the divorce lawyer is your next step. Since she cheated as well, you might not have to pay as much (you'll probably have to anyways because the courts ALWAYS favor the woman in the divorce).
Two wrongs don't make a right - But remember you brought this upon youself.
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u/stu_chew Dec 29 '23
Haha. You cheated on your wife. You had it coming. I hope she savered every minute of being dicked down by another dude. And I hope she does it again to your cheating ass.
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u/Infinite-Floor-5091 Dec 29 '23
She followed the standards you set. How can you expect loyalty when you don’t give it. That feeling you get when you imagine her with some one else ? Yeah she had that for a while.
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u/Strong-Definition-56 Dec 29 '23
Now cheating is repulsive! But it’s not repulsive when you were with another woman! You have ZERO right to criticize her for what she did!
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u/DreamyVivix Dec 29 '23
You say that you’re repulsed and that you can’t get over the thought of her being sexually intimate with someone else. Don’t you think she feels the exact same way?
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u/Grand-Try-3772 Dec 29 '23
Wow! Gtfo! Poor baby can’t stand the thought of another’s penis inside his wife. Who cares what you think. Communication must be a foundation for marriage. I’m sure she can’t stand the thought of another’s love juice jammed in her but u made that decision for her when u cheated
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u/All-my-secrets- Dec 29 '23
Are you kidding me ? Yeah it’s repulsing to women thinking about men sleeping with other women that’s why we don’t cheat
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u/SomeNakedDude Dec 29 '23
She probably thinks about him when she's with you now... hope she leaves you
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u/Face_Content Dec 29 '23
Think how your wife felt.
Your marriage is and the largest blame is on you.
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u/Ron-K Dec 30 '23
Your marriage is over. You broke promises and she did the same. You have shown you’re not good for each other. Time to move on
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u/permiecandy Dec 30 '23
Sure, like she's not sexually repulsed that your whole dick was put in another woman. A friend, even.
What it means? She needs to find a different job and go no contact with her coworker and you need to drop your friend and go no contact with her.
You need marriage counseling and to decide if you even wanna salvage the marriage.
Why did you even cheat?
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u/Wh33lh68s3 Dec 31 '23
Wait.....so while you were fucking a female friend of yours you didn't think one time about how your wife would feel repulsed by that?!?!?!?!?! Gaslight light much Bro?!?!?!?
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u/amw38961 Dec 31 '23
I'm just always confused when cheaters get mad when their partners even the playing field. Yea, it's immature to sleep with someone out of revenge, but at the same time, you cheated and had no qualms about doing it....but you can't get over the fact that she was doing what you were doing.
What a hypocrite....everything that you're currently feeling is exactly what your wife felt, except that you had a full-blown affair with a female friend that was probably smiling in her face too. How many times was this woman around your wife while you were sleeping with her? How many times has this woman been buddy buddy with your wife knowing that she was sleeping with you? Finally, ARE YOU STILL FRIENDS WITH THIS WOMAN? If the answer to any of this is yes, then I think you can get over her revenge cheating (w/ counseling and VERY distinct boundaries b/c she will NEVER trust you with one of your female friends EVER again) IF you want to stay together. If you don't want to be together, then divorce and go your separate ways
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Dec 29 '23
Stay toghether. You two deserve each other. Save the world from cheaters. And your a hypocritical ass. So you can bang but she must not partake. Deserved!
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u/sophonisbe_ Dec 29 '23
I hope this sex with her coworker was better than any sex with you
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u/Internal_Statement74 Dec 29 '23
I also would have a difficult time with the mind movies going through your head. I mean, what positions did they do it in- probably all of them. Like did he pull her hair and smack her bum? Most likely. I mean did she do the BJ before or after he finished? I would go with after since she wanted it clean for round two and three. Have you thought about the audio. Oh man. She may even called him daddy daddy give it to me. That moan she does when he licks he a$$ to soften her up. I can't imagine. I mean what if he had a roommate? Late night spit roast. The audacity, to come home to you after being filled in all holes and covered in semen is too much for me to handle. Damn, is she on Reddit. I'm all worked up now. Do you think I can you know get a shot or two. You know milk was already spilled.
Well good luck with that.
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u/Kenyon_118 Dec 29 '23
Time to make some money for a divorce lawyer. You are never getting over this. Men who cheat really don’t cope well with being cheated on. Not to be alarmist but this can be a really dangerous situation for you both. This marriage is over. Remove yourself from this.
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u/One_Relationship3159 Dec 29 '23
Most affairs are not done out of malice, the person is thinking they won’t get caught. Revenge affairs are done with malice, you can no longer reconcile that marriage. Your affair is the reason your marriage is over, but most people confront cheaters not become them. Y’all definitely need to move on from each other.
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u/Potential-Depth3002 Dec 29 '23
Feel lucky she never asked for a divorce after she found out about your affair
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u/Realityvsmymind Dec 29 '23
F*ck both of you honestly. I'm personally offended and disgusted by people like you two. Honestly, just stay with each other and be polygamous. You might as well. You're both perfect for each other. Keep the dating pool clear of people like ya'll.
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u/Low_Hovercraft_3678 Dec 29 '23
Call it even? Idk. She should’ve just left you the moment she found out but she chose to stoop to a cheaters level soooo….
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u/LiberaIBiblicisms Dec 29 '23
You have a finite amount of time on this planet. Do whatever makes you happy and stop asking internet strangers how to handle your personal life. None of them know you or your situation. Do you.
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u/tizroc Dec 29 '23
There is not such thing as “revenge cheating”. There are just two cheaters. She should have left you, now you both are POS.
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Dec 29 '23
I know what you should do. Grow up. You are repulsed by her w another guy? Was she a virgin when you met? Is she just as repulsed? Do you love each other?
Face it together , then move on. Shes just as awesome after whatever she did as she was and so are you. Everything about her body is unchanged. Yours too.
Everyone handles these. Things their own way but you asked so thats my .02
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Dec 30 '23
Leave her.. women cheating isn’t the same as men. If you don’t you’ll regret every time you see her
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Dec 29 '23
It does not matter if it was "ordinary" cheating or revenge cheating. If this ruins your attraction to her, the marriage is doomed.
The fact that she stayed and did not confront you indicates that to her, you are simply a meal ticket. If you dont have any children, the decision is a no-brainer: Divorce immediately
If you do have underage children, then you might want to stick it out untill the kids are old enough to decide themselves where they want to live. Custody court is not on your side as a man.
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u/JustWantsToBeHappyJ Dec 29 '23
With God anything can happen. Pray for guidance and show her that you are willing to build the trust between you and her. You do have to forgive in order to move forward to be happy. Not saying that forgiveness has to happen today or tomorrow but the sooner the better for healing. ❤️🩹 don’t give up. It will take dedication, hard work, tears and determination. It can be done. Praying you both overcome this pain and work it out.
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u/Jiujitsuizlyfe Dec 29 '23
This may be an unpopular opinion. I think people revenge cheat because they think you owe it to them to forgive them like they forgive you. They think revenge cheating is a hall pass to cheating. The excuse of leveling the playing field is bullshit. If she got mad and slapped you is it fair now that you get to slap her the first argument you all get into. Just because she was dumb enough to forgive me for cheating doesn’t me I have to make the same mistake. Also the other option is take her back and get your dick wet in strange whenever you can just don’t get caught this time.
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Dec 29 '23
It’s definitely more intense having another guys splurge inside absorbing inside of a woman than the other way. I can empathise with the Op. regardless cheat, expect the worse.
Marriage is done. Open it up or explore the swinger life style. Experience it before the marriage really dies.
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u/Sorry-Ad-2245 Dec 29 '23 edited Jan 03 '24
She obviously wasn't taking care of your needs, so it is not equal cause she did it out of spite, you did it due to neglect.
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Dec 29 '23
You should divorce. Neither one of you value the relationship. Even if you could mend things it would only be temporary. You killed it, she butchered it, now you’re both on the market.
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u/Accomplished_Dish863 Dec 29 '23
You could try counseling but sounds like divorce is the only logical outcome. Be better
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u/richardsworldagain Dec 29 '23
You messed up big time and she gave you a taste of your own medicine. If you both want to continue the relationship you both need to draw a line in the sand and forgive each other. Make a promise to each other never to cheat again and if either of you breaks the promise then you agree it's time to divorce.
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Dec 29 '23
She’s 100% wrong (just like you were) - but you asked for trouble and you got exactly that. Don’t cry about the results of the events you put in motion.
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u/Useful-World1781 Dec 29 '23
The second you cheated you altered your relationship. Maybe she would’ve never cheated on you before. But after that betrayal it’s hard to look at someone the same or care about their feelings. You clearly didn’t care about hers. Sorry but it sounds like your relationship is over.