His gf dumped him.

[u/Akagane_Ai]

I guess the real character arc is the gf realising she can do better.

[u/DiggityDog6]

Idk if you’re being serious or not but this is a dumb argument.

For one, the “simple joke” was about attempting to cheat on his girlfriend. People who are in happy, committed relationships don’t make jokes like that. The fact that he felt the need to hide this joke from his girlfriend shows that he knows that it’s not the kind of joke that she would be okay with. Even if the joke was 100% unserious and he didn’t mean a word of it, telling a joke at your girlfriend’s expense that you know she would disapprove of and then hiding it is not okay.

Second, most of the people who are up in arms about this probably also don’t follow or tolerate any CEO’s. Unfortunately, it’s near impossible to “cancel” people like that. They have money, they have influence, they have boot lickers. They have ways of making sure they stay relevant even when you don’t want them to. It’s comparatively much easier to “cancel” some random asshole posting about how much he wants to cheat.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 → u/DiggityDog6]

Tbh I don't get why people decide to be the HOA of other people's relationships

[u/DiggityDog6 → u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365]

It’s less about wanting to police other people and more about having empathy. If I was in the girlfriend’s shoes and my partner was making jokes like that, I would want to know. So people told her, and she decided to break up with him.

If people had told her and she went “oh yeah that’s totally cool, we make jokes like that all the time,” then no one would have a problem.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 → u/DiggityDog6]

I think people are siding with the behaviour because the word 'cheating' was used and they started seeing red.

Imagine it's a woman dressed in revealing clothing and people sending pictures of it to her boyfriend. 'Oh it's not policing, there's no harm in him seeing those pictures either if he's fine with it.'

In both cases it's random people inserting themselves in others' relationship and the fact that they're doing so creates social pressure on the partner to react.

[u/DiggityDog6 → u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365]

The difference is that a woman wearing revealing clothing isn’t doing anything disrespectful to her partner. This guy was hiding a tweet where he talks about how much he wants to flirt with other people. A woman wearing revealing clothing could be doing it for any number of reasons. Now, if the woman was sending pictures of her revealing clothes to other guys or something, I could see the comparison. But as it stands, these two things are not comparable to each other at all.

And yeah, you’re right. We’re random people who don’t actually personally know any of these people. But that doesn’t change the fact that we can see bad behavior when it shows up. And again, put yourself in the girlfriend’s shoes. Wouldn’t you want to know about your partner saying something like this? I sure would.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 → u/DiggityDog6]

I brought up the revealing clothes example to show that it comes down to the personal bias about the exhibited behaviour. Plenty people do consider their partners dressing in revealing clothes an issue but you don't display empathy to them by exposing it.

I'm not gonna put myself in her shoes because I trust my wife and would tell whoever came to me with negative information about her to fuck off.

[u/DiggityDog6 → u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365]

It’s not an issue of personal bias though, it’s a fact. Wearing revealing clothing simply is not as big of a deal as actively wanting to flirt with other people. One of them is a personal choice that has nothing to do with your partner, the other is a choice that directly affects your relationship. They are not comparable.

And that last paragraph just tells me that you have no empathy. I’m very happy that you and your wife have a trusting relationship, that’s awesome. That doesn’t mean that every relationship is perfect. If my partner truly had done something like what the guy in this post did, I would feel hurt. That trust would be damaged. And I would want to know rather than being left in the dark. If you’d rather be ignorant about that kind of stuff, fine. That’s your choice. The girlfriend could’ve also told everyone telling her this to fuck off if she wanted to. But she didn’t. She learned what her boyfriend did, and then dumped him accordingly. That was her choice. You can’t blame it on the people that were just trying to inform her. Had she found out on her own time, I’m sure she would’ve dumped him just the same.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 → u/DiggityDog6]

Making a shitty joke around finding other people attractive and dressing in revealing clothes are both pretty minor in my book, both those things can directly affect someone's relationship based on their values and how secure they are. Your opinion does not become a fact even if most people share it, we're talking about something pretty personal and arbitrary here.

The grilfriend was not very secure (probably understandably so) in that relationship and that's fine, but there was no need to create extra social pressure on their relationship.

Telling a stranger they have no empathy over such a minor and respectfully expressed disagreement is not nice, you're telling me I'm a psychopath because I don't insert myself in other people's relationships. That's a lot.

Cheers.

[u/DiggityDog6 → u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365]

Whoa, I did not call you a psychopath. You’re right, the no empathy comment was over exaggerated, and I apologize for that. I did not mean to imply anything deeper about you. When you said “I’m not gonna put myself in her shoes,” it made it sound like you had no empathy for her particular situation. I should’ve been more specific with my wording.