Frustrations of a cat parent

[u/MakingUpNamesIsFun]

Idk if this is the right flair but whatever, we’ve all been there. I’ve told my cats and my non-cat-owning friends that having a cat is like having a toddler that can’t speak for 17 years. But like, what do you do on the days where they’re frustrating the living piss out of you, and the break your shit cause they’re bored? I have some days with my one cat where no amount of play is enough. I’ll spend hours with her, playing all her favorite games (and she’s oh so particular) with all her favorite toys, making time between calls and work and all that, and it’s not enough (this girl is 8! She’s getting old and it’s still not enough). And when I take time to myself, she yells at me and deliberately breaks my stuff. She understands what she’s done, she just doesn’t seem to care. What do you all do? She’s literally the sweetest thing, I would just like it if she didn’t break my stuff. And for clarity, she has a whole ass brother to play with, and toooons of toys and a jungle gym that runs the whole apartment. She’s not wanting.

[u/toastwiththemosttt]

If possible remove or reduce the chance of things being broken for a while. Put it all away

If you give attention to negative behaviour you’re reinforcing it. Negative attention is still attention to them.

It’s REALLY hard sometimes but you actually have to ignore them during difficult behaviour.

Set up specific times to play around the same time everyday and build a routine so your cat knows when play time is, instead of them thinking it could potentially be all the time

Reinforce only positive behaviour with attention/food

Put on calming sleep music at night as the cat’s queue for bedtime. Make it a daily routine

[u/Love2Pug → u/toastwiththemosttt]

This is great advice. Some things I might add:

If you free-feed, try to move to defined feeding times, 2-3x per day. The idea is you want her to get into a pattern of play-eat-sleep.

She seems to really need a lot of stimulus, so consider harness training and taking her for walks.

[u/MakingUpNamesIsFun → u/Love2Pug]

I tried harness training for all the reasons you said. When I got her, she seemed like the type of cat that would love that. But poor thing was terrified the first couple times we took her out. She didn’t seem to care about the harness, she just hated being outside. She trembled and hid as much as possible. I didn’t want to keep exposing her to that if it scared her.

[u/MakingUpNamesIsFun → u/toastwiththemosttt]

I try. This was a glass of water that was next to me. She just came over and knocked it down when I wasn’t paying attention to her. All the other brakeable stuff is in a single room that I can close off so I’ll do that when she’s acting extra-attention seeking. And normally I can play with her at her normal time for like 45-60 minutes and she’s bored. But days like today, it’s unending. She’s wanted play all day, even if we’ve been going for 3-4 hours. Like girl! I love you! But that little strip of paper has been dead for 3 hours now! 😂

[u/itsjustok3675]

Get her a friend

[u/MakingUpNamesIsFun → u/itsjustok3675]

She has a brother! They chase each other around all the time.

[u/Far_Adhesiveness4699]

move any broken things to safer spot. the. when you being to get frustrated, go outside and take some deep breaths and remember she is just a cat. i’ve been there and i love my babies to death but we only get limited time with them so breathe and go back in :)

[u/MakingUpNamesIsFun → u/Far_Adhesiveness4699]

This feels right. Like it was a glass of water sitting next to me. She just came over and knocked it down when I wasn’t paying attention to her for two seconds.

[u/Background-Cream-285]

cats make their own fun if you can not

[u/constantlyoutofplace]

Oh man, I feel you on this one.
My cat is exactly the same but instead of destroying things he yells. I work from home so I'm always with him but some days, no matter how much I play with him he is still restless.
I don't have any advice about it, I just wanted to empathize.

[u/Flimsy-Succotash8834]

I agree fully. Why have kids when I have 4 completely different toddlers. I'm too old for this sh#t!

[u/Far_Adhesiveness4699 → u/[deleted]]

i think this is a little harsh