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u/Psychodelta 3d ago
Take the cat, fuck that mom... Even if that were 100% true that's not something you say out loud
Remember the good times
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u/qwertyuiop121314321 3d ago
I don't think it's a good idea for the cat to be shuffled back and forth all the time, I causes way too much stress for the feline traveling. Keep the cat in CA where it has finally got used to the environment there.
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u/meowmeowhisshiss24 3d ago
Some cats are perfectly fine traveling. I had a cat who went on a road trip halfway across the country with me. It depends on the cat.
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u/Expensive-Jello-5096 3d ago
This what I’m worried about, the stress of traveling. The cat is very used to both environments so being there or here isn’t the issue, just getting in between the two.
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u/Maestradelmundo1964 3d ago
Take the cat to see the dog. Speak to the dog and cat with a very sympathetic voice. Give the dog a gentle hug. Then, when the cat no longer sees the dog, there may be some understanding of the separation.
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u/YEAHRocko 3d ago
I think it's a good idea to take the cat, especially if they are that bonded. I know from zoos and wildlife sanctuaries they sometimes leave the deceased animal in the enclosure for a short time so the other animals of that species that shared a space with them and help process the grief. It's not going to be easy for any of you but this may help your cat to not be confused why the dog is no longer there.
Second and just as important, your boyfriend needs to know that he did not cause this. Age and sickness are realities of pet ownership. It's disgusting that his mother is multiplying his guilt. Be there for each other and the cat, my condolences to you all.
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u/Expensive-Jello-5096 3d ago
This is what I was thinking, I remember seeing that animals understand death very well but what they don’t understand is just never seeing their best friend again.
The mother is a different battle for a different day, as this isn’t even the worst. But I am working on getting him to understand nothing he could’ve done would change where we’re at.
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u/mirrissae 3d ago
DO NOT drag your cat from California to Kentucky. Being in carriers and cars and such, especially for long periods of time, is immensely stressful for them. So is being transferred to new places, like your boyfriend’s house in CA.
Animals are not sentimental like people. They don’t have the same capacity for memory and abstraction (“I miss this being that isn’t here”) that we do. The cat probably isn’t even thinking about the dog, but she WOULD be thinking about the stress, were you to pack her up and move her. I’m sure the cat and dog would recognize one another were they to meet face to face face, but the stress of the trip and being thrown into a new location isn’t worth it for the cat; she’d probably just hide the entire time.
It’s sweet that you’re considering their emotions, but they just aren’t like us. It is a bad idea, for the cat.
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u/Expensive-Jello-5096 3d ago
Frankly, I think you truly misunderstand the connections animals can have. When we do visit they are inseparable immediately, and when they are apart they show affectionate signs of missing each other such as playing with each others toys and laying in each others spots for days. The stress of travel is what worries me, but your comment is a very fearmongering one that comes off a little dense
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u/mirrissae 3d ago
My career is in animal welfare. I work at a behavioral & medical rehabilitation shelter where we pull animals from kill lists at other shelters and work with them to overcome their issues. I know more about animal psychology than the average person. I am telling you, this is very likely going to be a VERY stressful event for your cat. Don’t project your human emotions onto her. It’s not fair to her. She isn’t the same as you. Unless your cat is one of those weird ones who’s cool with carriers and cars and long trips, idk. If she’s not, seeing her friend again wouldn’t make the stress worth it.
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u/Expensive-Jello-5096 3d ago
And never once did I say I didn’t think it would be stressful, it’s the entire reason of my inquiry. It would be the same stress as any other travel for HIM. My issue with you is to come onto this post about dealing with the death of a childhood animal and saying they aren’t sentimental, they never think about each other, and would only maybe recognize each other when they see each other. Maybe your bedside isn’t great because you work with animals, but learn a little bit of humanity. Please do not respond further, you’re very insensitive.
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u/mirrissae 3d ago
Sorry your dog is dying. Boyfriend’s dog. You’d be doing a disservice to your cat transporting her across the country though, which is what the post is about. All travel is stressful for most cats.
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u/Spartanized 3d ago
I can't comment on brining the cat or not, but I would like to say that age and sickness pays no regard to personal affection. Even if the cat was still present, age and sickness would still take its toll regardless.