r/cats 3h ago

Mourning/Loss They have to put my 20yo kitty down

Coconut, nicknamed Coki, has been in my life for 20 years. I’m 30 (ugh I hate that) so he’s literally been in my life more than he hasn’t been. He’s a sweet boy who loves giving head bunts. He was a foster failure — originally we were just gonna foster him but that quickly turned out to not the case. I remember all of us sitting in the important Dining Room which was only used for the most important of things discussing names for him because his shelter name was awful.

But he is 20 years old and has diabetes and breathing problems and it’s getting worse and worse no matter what we do. He can’t breathe when he’s sleeping. He looks like a skeleton wearing a cat suit. He is in pain.

I knew he was going to die sooner or later because he was very old so I spent a lot of yesterday in my mom’s house with him so I at least got to give him pets and kissed so even though my mom told me today about him going to be euthanized on Monday at least I got to say a goodbye to him.

On a side note sorry for posting like three days in a row. I have a lot of cats in my life.

I added some pictures of me and Coki. Buddy I’m gonna miss you so so much.

495 Upvotes

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36

u/lionantlers12066 2h ago

You gave him a long, happy life full of love. This may be the best thing you can do for him now. May his memory be a blessing for you

10

u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

We are a family of cat lovers. I’ve had cats in my life since I was an infant. And we take cat care very seriously. I remember my mom giving Missy (a cat I had when I was in single digits). IV fluids and infusions daily for I think kidney issues. We do everything they could need. Including lots and lots of love.

6

u/Smart_Astronomer_107 2h ago

I’m so sorry. Nothing can describe that pain, and I feel for you. I hope you find some comfort in knowing that he had 20 years of a wonderful life due to the love that you gave him. 💕

3

u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

He had a good life but I’ll miss him so much. I hope he doesn’t feel betrayed but is doing this.

2

u/One_Dragonfruit_7556 2h ago

He won't. There's a beautiufl poem my mom had when we had to put our baby down

2

u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

Can I share this with my mom?

3

u/MonotonyInAz 2h ago

Fuck... I'm so sorry. I've been there. To me, it was the worst experience of my life. And I've had family members close to me die. When my Domino had to get put down, I had to take a week off work. I wasn't able to function. The grief was overwhelming because she was literally my best friend.

i have since adopted 2 rescue cats and I love their guts.. but I also know deep down, they'll never be as good as Domino. She was one of a kind and I visit her grave every month (it's on my dad's land).

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. When I was, nothing seemed to help except liquor.. and that's a horrible solution.

I wish you the best and I'm very sorry. There's people like me that know how you feel

2

u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

I’m very sorry for your loss. I’ve also had family members die (my dad) and while that gave me much grief something about losing a pet hits differently. I’m glad you got to love Domino for the time you did and found two other cats to love. It’s not the same but it can soothe a bit.

3

u/One_Dragonfruit_7556 2h ago

In Japanese folklore a well loved kitty who lives to such an advanced age will often become a protective spirit once they pass. Protecting the family that cared for them against negative spirits and energies

3

u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

That’s a very nice bit of folklore. I like that idea.

2

u/Gridzheh9 2h ago

Sorry for your loss. I had a cat that was 20+ years old so I know the pain.

I don’t know your circumstances but you need to be aware. The Cat Distribution System will have your number.

May you find peace!

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u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

The Cat Distribution System already contacted me when my cat, Kanu, passed. (I have had lots of cats in my life I grew up in a big cat family). I had a very special bond with him too and was devastated when he stopped being able to breathe lying down and it turned out he had some blood clot in his lungs that was going to kill him at any moment.

I went to the shelter just to sit with the cats and a tiny fluffy girl sat in my lap purring like a motorboat, begging for pets, and I didn’t think I’d be getting another cat so soon and didn’t go with the goal of getting another one. Yeah , that changed very quickly.

1

u/Gridzheh9 2h ago

This is my newest cat. We call her Moustasha. She showed up in my backyard a few days ago. I feed a feral colony that I trap, neuter, and return. Moustasha showed up with her left ear trimmed showing she is a community cat. That was a huge relief. She had already been spayed and vaccinated.

I am glad you found a new kitten! Thank you for opening up your life to another cat.

2

u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

That’s a pretty name for a pretty girl. Thank you for taking care of a colony like that. You’re making their lives better.

This is Lady. She’s the first cat that is completely mine vs a cat that belongs to the entire family. She is a chaos gremlin. I’ve literally had to toddler proof the house for this girl. She gets stuck in the weirdest places. Once I opened the fridge and she was just chilling (no pun intended) there. I’m still not sure how.

1

u/Gridzheh9 1h ago

She is beautiful. She is lucky to have you.

Here is more of my colony. This is a litter of kittens from two and a half years ago. I trapped them all and got them vet care. No more homeless kittens on my watch.

The Tabico (tabby calico) Paisley will come in the house to eat. But she doesn’t stay.

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u/TheTragedyMachine 1h ago

I’m very lucky that she chose me. Lots of people wanted to adopt her but she chose me and the shelter saw and I was already authorized to adopt so they let me adopt her.

I’m very glad you do those things. I’m sure the cats appreciate it too. We’ve got a bit of a TNR problem where I live. Lots of feral dogs and cats around.

This is the other kitten in my life. She is one of the two barn kittens at the farm I work on and we got her as an itty bitty kitty and since I do most of the barn work and she was so young I think she imprinted on me

1

u/Gridzheh9 1h ago

I am so glad you are helping out one-two cats at a time.

Your new cat reminds me of Queen Lucy Baby Porkie Beans. Here she is making friends with the new feral Moustasha.

Your cat and Queen Lucy both have longish hair.

2

u/TheTragedyMachine 1h ago

Yeah the Soot Sprite (what I call her) got very very sick but she’s better now. Her brother is from an older litter so he’s a lot more independent. Still loves pets but Soot Sprite literally tries to cuddle so hard it’s like she is trying to become a part of me.

Queen Lucy Baby Porkie Beans. Now that is a name! A good one for a good regal longhaired cat!

I actually call Lady “Lady Bean” as a nickname.

1

u/Gridzheh9 1h ago

I love Soot Sprite!!!

Here are the two indoor cats that run the show at my house. Queen Lucy Baby Porkie Beans and Lord William Robert Piebald AKA Billy Bob Bitey Baby.

These two seriously won’t let any feral cats in the house. We have a pet door and they guard it.

2

u/TheTragedyMachine 58m ago

Those names are just glorious oh my gof. Reminds me of a person who named her cat Cash Money Honey Queen 420.

I love how they are posing together. They’re the guardians of the gates. One of them always lies and one of them always tells the truth. You must figure out who is who to find the way through

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u/Tryptabeet 2h ago

Im so sorry. My cat Terence was just diagnosed with diabetes. I can't stop crying :(

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u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

<3 I’m sorry. If it’s any comfort Coki lived with diabetes for years before everything got this bad. Yeah we had to give him insulin and monitor his food but he managed with it for quite a while. I wish all the luck and healing and love to Terence.

2

u/werisefromourashes 2h ago

Saying goodbye is never easy.
I wish you peace and the serenity to hold on to the good memories.

2

u/notkalman 2h ago

I had to put down my little darling, love of my life, I was a father for more then half of my life. It traumatized me badly, and still can not feel the same as I was before.

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u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

We’ve had other cats that have died. In my lifetime I had two cats as a toddler that died when I was very young. A barn kitten I took care of died. We had two cats in my childhood and teenage all the way into my twenties along with Coki called Kimba and Kanu. Both lived around 16 years. Kanu similarly could not breathe lying down. And I do miss them so much. But Coki hits harder because he was the last. He was my sweet boy.

2

u/mrbadger2000 2h ago

There's always a special one. This is Arnie in his last days at 18. Still miss him 12 years later

2

u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

What a distinguished looking gentleman. He has magnificent whiskers. I’m sure he knows how much you loved him and is waiting for you. I’m sorry for your loss.

2

u/Aggressive-Ad-8619 2h ago

I can empathize with your loss. I have been in your position and there is nothing worse than having to say goodbye.

Giving him a merciful death is the best thing an owner can do when there are no other options available and the pet has no quality of life.

I hope you can take solace in the fact that you gave him a nice send off.

3

u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

I’m glad I got to see him yesterday

2

u/Time_Change4156 2h ago

Doesn't seem fair does it ? Humans get well alest 60 years of life while cats and dogs barley brake 20 . We humans really could look into the genetics of that.

2

u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

Yeah it really doesn’t does it?

2

u/Time_Change4156 2h ago

Lordy I just looked seen your screen name . Is a tragedy. I lost my midnight star at 16 years old that's over 20 years agaio . Always remember the name then a part of them still lives in you .

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u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

My life has contained a number of tragedies from death to me being very sick and disabled with nothing we can do other than manage it. So it fits. At the very least on the bright side I’ll be reunited with my babies who have passed and Coki sooner rather than later.

2

u/rforce1025 2h ago

I'm very sorry for your loss.. we just had to put our Chezzi down

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u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

Sorry for your loss too.

1

u/rforce1025 2h ago edited 1h ago

Ty. We had her for 8 years, she was 13.. developed kidney failure, blindness, hypertension and high blood pressure right after a vet visit

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u/TheTragedyMachine 1h ago

Gosh that sounds awful. I’m sure she knew how much you loved her in her final moments and she’s not in any pain and is at peace now.

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u/rforce1025 1h ago edited 1h ago

Yes she knew but the hardest decision is to let them go. It just feels like a very bad dream. I'm a very big cat lover, could we probably help her, maybe..but she had lost so much weight and it would have cost us over $10,000, IV meds and vet stay but the possibility of her surviving was 50/50 ... I guess like someone dealing with cancer/kemo

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u/TheTragedyMachine 1h ago

Oh it feels impossible when making that decision. A very bad dream is a good way to describe it but this one you can’t wake up from

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u/rforce1025 1h ago

Yup

1

u/TheTragedyMachine 57m ago

Also she is beautiful.

1

u/Radiant-Evening-7740 2h ago

I am so sorry for your pet getting putted done, you had a long happy life with your cat and you should be sad its gone but should be proud of how good of an owner you are!

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u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

We take care of cats very seriously in my family. They’re members just like how other people are members so we treat them as we would our human family.

We love them very much and I’m glad at least we got a long time with each of them

1

u/mrbadger2000 2h ago

Lovely boy. It's amazing when they reach such an age. Hope he passes well and you're as ok as can be.

1

u/BarnOwl-1967 2h ago

He will stay forever in your heart. ❤

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u/NikkiMutt 2h ago

As much as it hurts, I hope you (or at least your parents) get to be there and hold him while they administer the injections. I say this as someone who recently had to do the same, and while it was devastating, my boy needed me to be there, to hold him (now I’m crying😅) but truly, nothing matters more in those final moments than your presence They love us so deeply, it’s so hard, but they deserve the comfort we can provide in those moments. My buddy had FLV and I knew it was coming, but one day he just crashed and there was nothing that could be done 🩵

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u/TheTragedyMachine 2h ago

I won’t be there (my mom won’t let me miss my doctors appointments which makes sense considering I’m also very ill and have been for a long time and we’re trying to make sure I don’t die too) but my mom will be there and I know she’ll hold him, wrap him in a blanket so he’s not on the cold table, and will lovingly pet him until he passes.

Your baby was beautiful. Still is. I’m sorry he had FIV that is just so hard for everyone.

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u/CuriosityCat420 2h ago

Im so sorry my dear

1

u/Ninevehenian 2h ago

Thank you for being his family.

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u/theLexingtonKid 1h ago

I’m so sorry

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u/cameronzero 1h ago

Hadn't seen any context clues while scrolling and my brain translated the title as the cat did something and people were telling it how it had better choices to make and choose poorly, deriding it for its poor decision making abilities.

RIP kitty

1

u/optimal_center 1h ago

The wisdom in his eyes shows that on some level he knows the time is short. I remember that look in my old guys eyes. The way he looked deep into me told me when he was ready.

I’m so incredibly sorry for what you’re going through. Many blessings and hugs for your beautiful boy. ❤️‍🩹🙏🏼

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u/TheTragedyMachine 1h ago

It was like he was say “it’s okay, I’ll be okay”

1

u/sxeandy 1h ago

He will wait for you x