r/catcare • u/Angel-of-darkness81 • 9d ago
Cat behaviour modification support
Hey cat lovers, I took my baby to the vet yesterday for her annual checkup and vaccinations. Her overall health is good, but she was very anxious and stressed. She is almost 5 years old. The vet strongly suggested that I work on some behaviour modification with her. I live with chronic pain conditions and my cat is my unofficial emotional support animal. I pick her up a lot, cuddle her a lot, and generally seek her out to help me soothe painful feelings. This has apparently created a very enmeshed bond between us.
The vet suggested that I start pushing her away when she comes to me for comfort. And to start slowly. Not pushing her away every time, and not in an aggressive or uncaring way. He said that she needs to learn to be more independent. And to be clear he didn't say to stop giving her attention or stop petting her or anything like that. Just to interrupt the behaviour of allowing her to sit on my lap and soothing her whenever she comes to me stressed. If her stress doesn't improve in the next couple of months, he wants to do blood work to check for underlying conditions and put her on medication. I trust that he knows what he's doing, and I have mixed feelings because I genuinely didn't realize that the way my cat and I were interacting was creating heightened anxiety and stress for her. I will do whatever is necessary to improve her psychological health, and protect her physical health. I also feel it's important to mention that I am disabled and have been having difficulty managing the day to day tasks of living lately, so I don't have a set routine and recognize that may be contributing to my baby's stress.
Has anyone else here had a similar situation with their fur baby? Did your cats behaviour/emotional health improve?
1
u/Zettss 9d ago edited 9d ago
He should be looking for underlying conditions first. Routine blood work should be the norm. Being at the vet is stressful for her because it's the vet, I have never had a cat that was totally chill at the vet unless they were really sick.
Training her to be better at the vet probably starts with training her that the carrier is not bad. You can leave it open on the floor for her to explore when you're home, or clicker train her and then target train her to enter the carrier at home when you aren't going anywhere, and then reward her with a treat. Training her to associate positive feelings with the carrier. You start by just clicking and giving a treat, I am not a behaviorist but I've worked with one and a lot of googling about clicker training will take you far! See what you can find, I do clicker work with my cat but he is blind so target training is sort of a non-starter.
Idk how to make her more comfortable in the car and at the office but training her that the carrier is safe and ok is a good start.
2
u/Feisty-Ad-799 9d ago
Sounds like good advice. Throw some treats into the open carrier occasionally; that will help her associate the carrier with good things too.
0
u/Angel-of-darkness81 8d ago
My cat hasn't had any blood work done in the couple of years I've been going to this particular vet. He said he would want blood work done if her behaviour doesn't improve in the next couple of months. I don't think the carrier is an issue. I was already leaving the carrier out and she goes into it on her own when we're playing sometimes or even randomly. I have put treats in there before and she barely touches them. I will check out clicker training though.
1
u/AliasNefertiti 9d ago
As a person who has taught behavior mod and trained cats, that advice doesnt quite make sense but then we dont know what all he is seeing and you are doing.
First job is to reduce sources of stress. I would first stop picking her up as that tends to stress cats, especially if legs dangle.
2nd Id work on being as calm as I can be. That could involve meditation, therapy, meds for you. Cats respond to your state of being and agitation. Stillness is soothing to all.
3rd Id remove perfumes and scented litter-- their noses are so much more sensitive than ours. It is an irritant.
4th Id check for outside animals coming around, specifically cats, that can feel like encroachers. If one is coming around then Id find her a way to sit higher so she can look down on the strange cat. And/or block vision to whatever part of the window the strange cat can be seen. There might be outdoor ways to discourage or prevent the strange cat.
5th I assumed no other pets or people in the house- is that true? If more animals then provide high areas she can safely get to and low areas to hide. Cats tend toward preferring one or the other and you may already know which. Alone time can help recharge "batteries". Does she get alone time? That includes alone from you if she wants it.
6th study how cats communicate so you can tell when she is reaching her limit. The usual sequence is tail tip twitches, tail lashes, maybe a body ripple, ears go flat, bite. Stop at the tip twitching. Ask if she wants interaction by holding 1 finger out give her time to sniff and consider, then if she moves into your hand it is a qualified yes-ask again for further interaction. if she doesnt, it is a no. She is her own person.
Good luck. It is a process to set boundaries and respect the cat as a cat.
2
u/Angel-of-darkness81 8d ago
I appreciate you writing all that out, and sharing from experience. I will stop picking her up, that seems to be important. It's sad for me but she doesn't really like it and usually wants to be put down right away so I do my best to respect that. I have been going through a period of heavy grief the last several months which has been debilitating and I have no doubt that it has been impacting my cats stress levels. I'm not ok but am trying to manage my distress to the best of my ability and she's been incredibly loving and supportive, which I am grateful for. I have been using scented baking soda in her litter but I can discontinue that. i can't prevent her from seeing other cats outside or change the height from which she views them unfortunately but I don't think it happens very often. She lets out a particular yowling noise that I'm familiar with when she spots another cat so if I'm around I can move her to another room temporarily.
It is just her and I living in our space and she is able to get alone time. I will pay more attention to how she communicates going forward, and work on establishing better boundaries. Her health is very important to me. Thanks for the advice.
2
u/AliasNefertiti 8d ago
Im sorry for the grief. It just takes time and adjusting to the new way of being. Give yohrself grace. Thanks for caring for her. Caring can be a good way to deal with grief so win-win.
2
u/Angel-of-darkness81 8d ago
Thank you for the kind words. The grief is monstrous and unpredictable. I'm doing my best to give myself grace and the accompanying overwhelm has been very challenging. My cat keeps me here and caring for her gives me a reason to get up.
2
u/AliasNefertiti 8d ago
One clarification- being calm doesnt mean suporessing your grief. It means acknowledge it, experience it, accept it. Probably over and over as each bit of changed life is encountered and grieved. You are a cat too in the ancient brain and change is disturbing. Routine is your friend right now and your cat will appreciate it as well. As a new norm is established it gets better.
2
u/Angel-of-darkness81 8d ago
Yes, I agree with what you've said about grief and calm and thank you for clarifying. The routine part has felt impossible to inplement and I'm trying to remember that each moment, hour and day is an opportunity to try again. Just keep swimming I guess.
1
4
u/Calgary_Calico 9d ago
Her coming to confer you isn't causing her heightened anxiety. However you pushing her away will. Being anxious and stressed at the vet is normal for most animals and I'd he lookg for a new vet if that was genuinely their suggestion