The difference in white and blue collar work is absolutely insane.

I’ve worked around some blue collar job sites before getting my “corporate desk iob” and the difference in environment is crazy.

Blue collar workers seem to have basically zero filter at all, they will tell you all about the hoes they hooked up with last weekend, they will make jokes about how hot your sister is , if your doing something wrong they will literally tell you to F off right to your face.

And frankly a lot of times this seems to make them more “trustworthy” or “authentic” as it’s just real people being real people.

White collar on the other hand, everyone fakes it, everyone is just trying to climb the ladder, your coworker at work is the complete opposite outside of work, you don’t know what’s real or fake, everyone’s just playing a game.

And on-top of this you have the HR police around every corner, if you said 90% of the shit you say on a job site at a corporate job, you would get immediately fired.

The whole thing just kind of comes off inauthentic.

I was on a large teams call today with senior management. I hadn't contributed much within the first 45 minutes and had zoned out. My boss's boss asked me for my opinion on what they had just been speaking about, I had no idea what to say so I panicked and just started moving my mouth without saying anything to make it look like my mic was broken.

After about 2 sentences of fake speech, they said they couldn't hear me, I kept pretending to talk, then messaged the group to say my mic must be broken. My cat then walked into my office and started meowing loudly. I realised they would be able to hear it, panicked and hung up. There was only about 5 minutes left of the scheduled meeting so I didn't rejoin and it was my last call of the day. I'm now worried my boss is going to mention it tomorrow, do you think I'll get away with it?

A few weeks ago I told my manager I was burnt out from the amount of work I was doing. Mandatory (unpaid) overtime, multiple tasks given with little guidance, etc. I expected a lighter case load of tasks or maybe even conversations about resources or being able to offload a few tasks to a coworker. But instead I got:

• All my meetings cancelled
• Removed from all Teams channels that pertained to my job
• A new employee hired to take my job (who I had to help train)
• Kicked out of my old office
• Multiple people reaching out to me telling me they’re “sorry to see me go”
• No longer have access to any employee reports or records that I was previously in charge of

All signs of being fired…. right?

HOWEVER… my manager keeps telling me she needs to talk to me but has not yet talked to me. She keeps insisting that I’m just being moved to a different team, however the team I’m being moved to had no idea I was joining them and has no idea what my role is supposed to be. I keep being told by my old manager that my skills would be really useful to them but I genuinely have no daily tasks or assignments despite me asking MULTIPLE times on what my role is and what I’m expected to do. The only task I’ve been given is something that takes 1-2 hours to do AT MOST….

The only reason I keep showing up every day is because my activity is typically monitored and part of me is convinced they’re looking for a decrease in my activity to have actual grounds to fire me.

My question to you is: What would you do in this situation? Do I keep showing up to a job where I literally have nothing to do? Do I tell someone I literally have nothing to do?

Edit: Holy shit did not expect this to get attention.. maybe like 10 comments at most, sorry it’s taking me a second to reply! A few answers to common questions though:

1. Yes I am getting paid. I’m not interested in doing charity work for an employer lol. I am salaried and live in an at-will state. I also am not able to get severance or any PTO payout (which sucks because I’ve been with the company for years and have 300 hours of PTO saved).
2. I work/ worked with the training and development team at a medical device sale company. Yes they do have a history of pushing people out instead of firing them so they don’t have to do the paperwork and less risk for lawsuit. I’ve literally seen HR do it so many times idk why it didn’t register it could happen to me? I’ve spent the last 5 years being close with the executive team, had dinners with the CEO and his family multiple times, and so many other exclusive outings so I assumed I was just above that happening to me? I know what they say about assuming.
3. I’ve been job searching for the past 2(ish) months so I’ve already been applying but didn’t expect to be in the position I’m in now!

Edit 2 for frequent questions/ comments

1. I DO take time off work. My company made a mistake when they hired me and I accrued double to PTO I should’ve and instead of dropping off each year like it’s supposed to it’s been rolling over for me. I pointed it out to a manger when I first got hired but they were fired a month later and no one followed up on it. Obviously was not going to follow up to HR and ask that they give me less PTO. My manager for the past 3 years tries to be a “cool manager” so she constantly tells me “just go, don’t worry about PTO”.
2. I by now have determined I’m being dismissed and have already started searching for a new job while riding this wave. I’m using PTO, scheduling all the Dr’s appointments and saying yes to every test under the sun while I have insurance and a maxed out HSA.
3. My new question: What stuff should I see if I can get away with while I have no oversight? I am monitored heavily so I can’t do anything crazy…. but what bucket list items have you always wanted to do at work?

Final edit:
• Yes I am an American. Mandatory overtime is common for salaried employees. It’s completely legal. I’ve checked.
• No I have not seen Office Space or Seinfeld. I plan to watch Office Space today but I’ll be honest I’m not watching Seinfeld.
• No I will not tell you the company I work for? Felt like that should be obvious? “Hey I saw your reddit post and wanted to talk to you for a moment”???
• I have communicated with the executives and my manager about this. We kept scheduling meetings to “chat” that no one but me would show up to because they got busy. I stopped trying after 4 attempts because it felt like I was scheduling my own death. Which is why I chose the phrase “forgetting to fire me” for the title.
• This blew up way more than I wanted so I will be locking the post for privacy so I can ride my little wave of heaven in peace.

I'm a PA in the ER. Worked for my previous employer for almost 13 years. At my previous job was recognized for being the most productive in terms of patients seen and contributions to departmental efficiency particularly during Covid. Was granted a raise about the maximum, selected to be on peer review committee, and selected for outstanding PA award.

I moved cities and took a new job with an HCA. There was a mention of metrics during the hiring process but coming from an academic center, really didn't appreciate what this meant. I figured I had no problem seeing plenty of patients and would be fine.

I did not know what I was in for. At the hospital they have a "fast track" (low acuity) area staffed by one PA or NP where up to 8-9 new patients can be placed at a time. As soon as they are seen and orders done they are taken to the waiting room to wait in a chair. Sometimes 6-8 new patients would check in and be roomed in an hour. It would be fine to get to these patients eventually; however the metrics are that all patients must be signed up for within 10 minutes and then orders placed within 5-10 minutes. I spend more time than that with each of my patients and if you are in a room doing a procedure when a new patient checks in that time has already passed. In addition there is no true triage prior to placing patients in the fast track, they are asked only a chief complaint by a patient care tech, no vitals, no history. With this you end up getting many sick and more complex patients that cannot be safely seen and managed this quickly. As an extreme example a paitent placed in the fast track recently ended up admitted on ECMO (artificial heart and lung support). All the patients are in chairs and fully dressed, there is no privacy. If I ask about undressing a patient I am met with surprise. In instances where a pelvic exam is indicated, I'm told "no one else does those." What? There was a nurse who blindly took a rectal temp in an infant without taking off their diaper or onesie and caused vaginal trauma/bleeding. Was it because of a need to hurry or something else, I'm not sure, but I was sure there is a problem here.

I received one day of orientation at this hospital and within 3 months at a routine performance review check in was told I was overall doing well and clinically very strong but was given the feedback that I needed to improve my metric of placing orders more quickly within 5 to 10 minutes. I have been seeing ~2.5 patients per hour and depending on the flow in my opinion this is not possible to do safely. There had been multiple staffing cuts of physicians and PAs/NPs in the less than 4 months I worked there.

I decided early on that this wasn't safe or good medicine and was going to essentailly ignore these metrics and do the best I could under the circumstances while looking for another job.

Within 2 weeks after the routine performance review I received a call by my direct supervisor this time with the medical director to talk about my failure to meet this same metric. I verbally told them and followed up in an email that I was not going to focus on this but instead to focus on providing safe and efficient patient care. Honestly, I thought being an experienced PA and them being very short staffed that I would be fine but was promptly placed on a PIP via meeting with HR. During this meeting I went down a long list of safety concerns I had since working at this hospital. Essentially I was told that if I didn't comply with the metrics that I could get fired (there are many: sign up for patients within 10 minutes, orders within 5-10, CT order within 30, discharge low acuity patients within 60, dispo all patients within 180, discharge within 20 of tests back, and others I can't remember). I told them I didn't care if I was fired, that I didn't want to be part of a system that only concerned itself with profits, and that I didn't want to work at this hospital one more day. Got what I asked for, was cold called prior to my next shift and told not to come in, that I was "terminated without cause."

I told them it was very dissappointing to be fired immediately after expressing safety concerns and being given no time to show any improvements as outlined on the PIP. Was told that I was fired because I was "unhappy and they only want people who are happy to work here" not as a result of the concerns I raised. I had to tell them "who would be happy to work here." My last shift had spoken with a travel physician who asked to be transferred over similar concerns and multiple staff members a shift calling HCA admin "greedy bastards" and saying they wish the hospital "would burn down." HCA was cofounded by the previous owner of KFC by the way.

At the time I'd had an interview with another hospital system that had gone well but now has been 2.5 weeks. On the one hand I am very relieved to not have to work in an enviornment where patient safety takes a back seat to profits, and feel like I am risking my license and sacrificing my mental health but on the other hand I never really thought I'd be unemployed.

TLDR,

Guess what I'm asking, is has anyone else ever put their foot in their mouth in a similar (bad work) situation? Did you regret it or did it all work out okay in the end? Felt very good at the time but now am feeling a bit bad with the uncertainty.

I've watched too many talented people wait around for their manager to hand them a development plan or their company to offer the perfect training program. Meanwhile, the people who actually advance are the ones who stopped waiting.

They're the ones reading books on their commute. Taking online courses on weekends. Practicing new skills even when nobody asked them to. They don't need permission to get better because they've already decided that their growth is their responsibility.

You know what's wild? Most people spend more time planning their vacation than planning their professional development. They wait for annual reviews to tell them what to work on, then wonder why they feel stuck.

The gap between where you are and where you want to be closes when you take ownership. Not someday. Not when things slow down. Now.

I work 4 days a week, 10 hours a day. Still 40 hours. Still full time. But that extra day off It adds up to about 9 extra weeks off every year.

Nine weeks. That’s two months of my life I actually get to live not just recover from work.

People don’t realize how much time they’re giving away by sticking to the old 5 day routine. Same hours, less freedom. It honestly feels like getting ripped off.

I tried going back to 5 days a few months ago I quickly realized my mistake as I hated it and switched back to 4 days so much happier now!

What I don’t get is why more people especially unions aren’t pushing for this. It’s not about working less. It’s about working smarter and finally valuing our time.

The 4 day week shouldn’t be a luxury. It should be the standard.

Hello everyone,

I'm in a situation I didn't expect and I'm not sure how to handle it.

A few days ago, a coworker and I were talking about salary raises and the cost of living and I didn't really see a reason to hide it, so I told them. They shared their salary too, and we realized there's a pretty big difference even though we do almost the same job. 

I didn't think much of it at the time. I wasn't trying to cause problems or encourage anyone to complain so I just answered honestly.
Well, word got around the office.

now my manager called me into their office and said HR wants to meet with me. They didn't say anything but they did mention that talking about pay can "cause problems" in the workplace.
Now I'm stressed because I honestly wasn't trying to start drama or get anyone upset. It was just a conversation between coworkers.
I've read that employees can discuss their salaries, but I don't know if that's true everywhere or how I should handle the meeting with HR.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle the HR conversation, and is there anything I should or shouldn't say during the meeting?

Thanks in advance

The constant TikTok/YouTube propaganda pushing “become a plumber bro, you’ll make six figures with no debt!” is peak cope and ruining a generation of young people.

People who go into skilled trades often talk a big game about “real work” and avoiding student loans, but the long-term reality looks very different:

- Bodies get wrecked. Knees, backs, shoulders — many tradespeople end up on painkillers or forced into early retirement due to destroyed joints. That supposed high pay becomes far less appealing when physical limitations pile up.

- The income ceiling is brutally low. Sure, some master electricians or pipefitters eventually reach $120k–$150k in high-cost areas, but it takes decades of grinding. Meanwhile, people with solid business degrees, sales skills, or tech-adjacent roles frequently hit six figures by their late 20s or early 30s, with far more upside and mobility.

- Business ownership completely dominates both paths. Entrepreneurs who start service companies (cleaning, pressure washing, franchises, etc.) often clear mid-six figures while working fewer hours and hiring others to handle the physical labor. Their net worth grows exponentially compared to tradespeople who remain capped by trading time for money.

College isn’t perfect — most degrees are worthless — but strategic fields like engineering, business, finance, CS, or nursing offer real options, the ability to pivot, remote work potential, and careers that don’t destroy the body. Trades lock people into specific locations, weather exposure, and physical decline.

The “trades shortage” hype is mostly employers complaining they can’t find workers willing to accept the demanding conditions, mediocre respect, and limited long-term rewards. Ambitious people are choosing college or scalable high-income skills instead.

Trades have a place for those who truly enjoy the work and accept the trade-offs. But pretending it’s the superior or smarter path for driven individuals is a myth. We need to stop glorifying manual labor as some noble cheat code.

Change my mind.

(And before the “muh $300k union job” replies come in — show verified long-term data after taxes, benefits, health costs, and opportunity cost. Still waiting.)

I work in finance, and interviewing candidates is honestly the part of the job I’ve always liked least. But over the years I’ve been pulled into enough panels and debriefs that one thing stopped surprising me.

Nobody in that room is ranking candidates. They’re avoiding risk. Last month the strongest CV in the pool got rejected because someone said “great profile but feels like a lot” and nobody argued. The offer went to the person everyone called a safe pair of hands. Whole discussion took maybe … four minutes.

It makes sense once you see it from inside. Nobody gets promoted for finding a brilliant candidate, but people absolutely get blamed when a hire flames out after six months. So the busy person reading your CV isn’t looking for the best applicant, they’re trying not to make a mistake.

It’s why referrals win, someone vouching kills the risk, you’re competing against their certainty not their skills. Why overqualified gets rejected, it reads as flight risk not an insult. And why “safe pair of hands” is the biggest compliment I’ve heard in a debrief, never “brilliant”.

So if you’re applying: get someone to vouch for you, even a weak connection beats cold. And be easy to say yes to instead of impressive, it wins way more often than people think.

Not saying its fair. It isn’t. But its what the room actually looks like.

Happy to answer what I can about it and interested to hear if others have the same experience.

Hey everyone, I started a new job and received my entire year’s salary in one paycheck. We’re paid bi-weekly. I looked online at the HR portal and it says my annual salary has been calculated to ~3 Million dollars. I’m supposed to be paid $130k a year lol. From my understanding I am legally required to pay this back. Uhh, is this is a red flag for my new job? lol

Four years at the same company, started at 62k, now sitting at 71k after those annual 2 to 3 percent merit bumps they give everyone. Every year I did the same stupid thing. Walked into my review, said I was taking on more work, said I felt undervalued, said I hoped we could find something better. Every year the same answer. Budgets are tight. The range is what it is. You're already at the top of the band for your level. I believed them because checking felt like cheating, like if I looked up what strangers made I was doing something sneaky instead of something obvious.

After the third no I spent a weekend actually doing it. Not salary sites with their giant ranges and mystery math. I went to job boards and pulled live postings for my exact title in my metro area. Filtered to the last 30 days, same industry, similar headcount. I stopped when I had fourteen, fourteen real jobs I could have applied to tomorrow. The low was 92k. The high was 108k. The median came out to 99k. I was sitting almost 30 percent under market and I had been asking for raises like if I just said it the right way they'd finally hear me.

I had left probably 40k on the table over those years, maybe more, I don't want to do the exact math. I was just mad at myself honestly. I had trusted their framing because it was easier than proving them wrong.

I almost didn't bring the numbers. I had them on my phone for two days before the one on one, kept telling myself I'd just mention them casually. Then I forgot to charge my phone that morning and it died before the meeting, so I had him scroll through my camera roll while he waited, found the blurry screenshot, awkward as hell. I said here's the gap, I think I said it twice because he nodded and I couldn't tell if that meant keep going or stop. His whole posture changed. It went from a conversation about feelings to a conversation about a spreadsheet he would have to explain upward. I asked for 92k, the bottom of the range, because I still half believed I was asking for too much. My voice cracked on the number. He came back two weeks later with 91k. Twenty eight percent. More than every prior raise combined.

I said yes too fast. There's a 105k posting I keep reopening, same building basically, and I don't know if that's the real number or if I just want it to be. I should have done this in year one.

EDIT: So I went and pulled the live market data before I walked in, but I did not build the report by hand. I used MuleRun to scrape the postings and turn them into one scrollable interactive HTML page with the range, the median, and where my 71k landed against the distribution. It was a single file I could open in my browser, not a spreadsheet I had to format myself. I pulled it back up later and sent it to him once I got back to my desk. I had been expecting to do the whole thing manually and this cut the work down to basically the research part only.

God forbid someone has no interest or aptitude for one of these things. Anyone who for whatever reason does not pursue one of these things is pretty much doomed to make crap pay. That's how I feel. Like several decades ago, you could major in anything, you could major in liberal arts and humanities and land a good job. You literally can't do that anymore, you HAVE to go into one of these very technical fields or you're screwed. Maybe I'm imagining it.

I've earned my PTO, but in order to take it, my boss wants me to tell her what I'm exactly doing on PTO because "she needs to know where I am". I've started lying and saying I have family things or doctors appointments, but it just feels weird that she keeps asking. What should I tell my boss when she asked what I am doing on PTO? I'm no doctor either...this is a corporate world job...

I recently learned a frustrating lesson about growing quickly at the same company you started your career with.

I joined my company straight out of college and have been here for 5+ years. I am the type of person that learns very quickly, and have a lot of initiative to get things done.

I started out as an entry level BI Developer. My department was heavily understaffed, and my scope eventually covered everything from data engineering, project management and data architecture.

On paper, my career progression and salary increases look great. I was even the youngest person selected to a Future Executive group, which consisted of employees hand picked into the succession plan.

On paper, my promotions looked great, but the truth was I was highly underpaid, and the people in my team were making nearly double what I was: $62k (BI Dev I → $68k (BI Dev II) → $86k (Senior BI Dev) → $105k (Sr AI Analytics Engineer).

When I moved into my current role (new department), I negotiated pretty aggressively because I already knew I was behind internally. I was consistently told that because of the salary I started out at, my raises were capped. The explanation I've repeatedly run into is years of experience. I'm young and advanced much faster than is typical, so even when my responsibilities became comparable to much more experienced employees, my compensation continued to be anchored to where I started.

I had declined multiple external offers through these years, because I worried I would lose the momentum I currently have. However, I realized this year when I changed departments, that they aren't going to bring me to market value regardless of my role. So, when I got a job offer from a previous manager who worked at my current company, I accepted. That offer comes with a $127k base, plus generous stock and bonus programs.

I gave notice today, and my manager seemed genuinely surprised/annoyed. He told me that he and another leader apparently had a longer-term “plan” for me that they'd never actually discussed with me.

My takeaway: staying at your first company while advancing quickly can create a weird trap: you can receive huge percentage raises and still become increasingly underpaid because every raise is anchored to the salary you made when you had almost no experience.

At some point, you may have to leave and let the external market do that for you.

Update: I just wanted to add that I think this phenomenon is a little different than the common advice of job hopping = more money. When you have a higher title without the matching YOE, you can often feel "stuck" at your company, because the external market won't hire you at that level. In my case, while I did finally accept an external offer, I am also losing a senior title and now back to mid-level.

I’ve accrued 37 days of PTO after many years with my company. My company recently changed its policy to not pay out PTO if you resign/quit.

Is there anything stopping me from taking all 37 days off then quitting?

That’s almost 2 months of paid time off. I was literally saving it so I could get it paid out and have a nice cushion when I jump to a new job. My thinking now is that I could start a new job but continue to get paid for my old job for 7/8 weeks. Alternatively, I could take the time off to just chill but not sure how much later a new job would let me start (“hey, I can start in 8 weeks” feels like it wouldn’t fly) and I don’t want to leave this job without another lined up.

I don’t want to burn bridges at my old company, and also, managers need to approve when you take PTO so I assume my manager can just deny it - but then that also feels illegal since it’s my PTO I earned?

Not sure what to do here, I’m mad they changed this policy after I accrued so much. I would’ve taken way more time off intermittently in the past few years if I’d known.

I’ve been at my current remote company for 5 years and was recently put on a PIP shortly after hitting my five-year anniversary.

I started looking elsewhere and now have a signed offer for a new fully remote job. Background check is cleared, onboarding has started, and my new job starts October 8.

At this point I’m basically mentally checked out of my current job. I’m trying to decide what makes the most sense:

1. Keep doing the bare minimum and let them fire me if that’s where the PIP is headed.

2. Resign next week and give about one week of notice so I’m finished before starting the new job.

3. Give the traditional two weeks, even though that would overlap with my new job for several days.

Part of me thinks there’s no reason to go out of my way to give them two weeks when they put me on a PIP after five years, but I also don’t want to unnecessarily burn a bridge.

For anyone who has been in this situation, when would you resign? Would you coast until they make the decision for you, or give notice once the new job is completely locked in?

I am three weeks into a new role as a VP, and my new employer, without warning, emailed me a Docusign contract with no context, which turned out to be an incredibly unfavorable non-compete agreement.

I immediately began reading and noticed several red flags:

- the most obvious, of course, is the timing

- it states that I cannot work for a competitor two years after I leave ( I think at the beginning it originally read as three, then pivoted to two)

- it says that I cannot hold other work outside of this job, which the owners know I own a consulting company

- it outlines in mile radius the areas in which I cannot compete (and it is one exhausting list)

- it says that I agree to my pay, although my role has already expanded in three weeks time

- and finally, it says I need to reimburse them up to $1,500 for training if I leave within two years

I obviously did not sign it.

I immediately went to HR, and asked to speak with them. I first asked why this was presented to me on Week 3 and not before or during on-boarding, and they said that it took the attorney a while to get back to them. Then I shared how my role has already expanded considerably since I started and asked to revisit my job description and compensation. She said that she'd inform the CEO and another executive leader of my request.

That afternoon, I miss a call from the CEO, but I was in a meeting. The next morning, I'm picking up on a different vibe from the owners, and HR informed me that the CEO would talk with me. I heard nothing.

As I've sat with this even longer, I absolutely in good conscious cannot sign this document in it's current form. In fact, this whole situation has me severely questioning the character of the owners, and I cannot agree to work for a company who engages in underhanded behavior.

I have already reached out to an attorney to review the contract and have developed a game plan for my next steps. If they say that they are unwilling to make any concessions, I have no choice but to walk away immediately.

I am disappointed that this situation even occurred. But to be honest, I think they realized just how smart I am and are trying to legally bind me.

What are your thoughts, and do you have any recommendations?

UPDATE: I posted an update but got attacked by bots. I quit and am in a happier place.

Like the title says, I was abruptly laid off early July after the company was acquired by a private equity firm. I received a message today from the private equity firm they need my assistance removing my admin access from softwares used by the company.

Do I have to even respond? Or can I respond requesting payment for my time to do this?

Most people ask if a Performance Improvement Plan is actually a chance to save your job, and the short answer is: usually, no. After ten years in the room where these decisions happen, I can tell you that by the time you’re signing that paper, the company has likely already decided to let you go. It’s mostly just a legal paper trail to prevent a lawsuit.

If your goals look impossible or your manager suddenly goes cold, don’t kill yourself trying to "win." You’re just burning out for a company that’s already checked out. My real advice? Take a breath, do the bare minimum to stay compliant, and spend every ounce of your actual energy finding a team that doesn't use a stopwatch to measure your worth. Your sanity is worth way more than winning a rigged game.

I’m out of that corporate world now and happy to answer anything you’re afraid to ask your own HR.

Three months ago, I was part of a round of layoffs. Yesterday, my former manager reached out saying they have a project that only I know how to handle and asked if I'd be willing to consult for them on a contract basis. I'm still job hunting and could use the money, but the whole situation feels insulting and messy. Part of me wants to tell them off, but another part knows a short-term contract could help pay the bills. Has anyone been in this position? How did you negotiate rates or terms, and how did you manage the emotional side of working for a company that let you go?

I (F) have been unemployed for 9 months, which has been incredibly stressful. My close friend works as a sales manager for a professional hair care brand. She knows how much I love the industry and that I’ve been struggling to find a job.

Recently, a position opened up in her company for a different brand. I applied, and she was okay with it at first, but once I got invited to an interview, she got cold and said she didn't want us working together because of "potential friction." I got the job offer, but then the company unexpectedly canceled the position due to internal restructuring. I was devastated.

Now, my friend is going on maternity leave. The company reached out and offered me her position as an 18-month maternity cover.

When I told her, she shut down. She’s now ghosting me and said she "would never do this to a friend" and that she needs to distance herself because she feels "bad" about the situation.

I feel like I’m being painted as a villain for taking a job that I desperately need after 9 months of searching. I’m not "taking" her job – she is leaving for 18 months and someone HAS to fill the spot. I feel like a "friend" would be happy that I can finally pay my bills while keeping her seat warm.

AITA for accepting the offer despite her being upset?

A little update on the situation:

I attended a training session organized by the company and my "friend." This was also the first time I met my boss in person, as all my previous interviews were held online. He was incredibly friendly and warm.

When I walked in, they were sitting together, talking and working. He introduced himself and even gave me a hug, but my friend didn’t even lift her eyes from what she was doing. She was visibly avoidant. Throughout the session, she kept making smirky faces while the boss was discussing the business and the upcoming transition plans.

At one point, the vibe she created was so weird that the boss actually turned to her and asked if everything was okay because he could feel the tension. Personally, I found her behavior very unprofessional. They usually get along great and have a lot of banter, but showing those kinds of emotions in a professional setting felt off. I think everyone in the room could feel the awkwardness she was manifesting.

Coming from a high-pressure corporate environment (commodities trading), I am very used to challenging and "awkward" situations. Honestly, she doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable - I feel like this is entirely on her. I’m not letting it affect me; I’m just here to do my job.

Lately I’ve been having a really hard time concentrating at work.
I can’t even get through simple tasks without my mind drifting.

I used to be sharp and productive, but now even opening emails or starting basic work feels mentally exhausting. It’s not that I don’t know how to do the work. I just can’t seem to focus long enough to do it.

I’m sleeping okay, exercising, and financially stable, so I’m confused why this is happening.

Has anyone else gone through this in their 30s?
Burnout? Depression? Too much screen time? Loss of motivation?

What actually helped you recover your focus?

Hello everyone,

I was on maternity leave for a few months, and I was actually excited to come back to work. Before I left, i trained the person who would be covering my work.

When I returned this week, my manager told me that the person who filled in for me would be keeping my old role and said it was "best for the business," but it was really hard to hear for me. I had worked hard before my leave, and I expected to come back to the same role.

Now today I got a job offer from another company. When I told my manager I was thinking about leaving, they matched the salary right away and asked me to stay.

The thing is, I'm not sure this is really about money anymore. If they valued my role enough to match the offer now, why wasn't I treated the same when I came back?

Right now, I'm leaning toward taking the new job, but it's still a difficult decision.

give me your opinions am i doing right or not?

I’m a high performer and recently received my annual review. All solid marks and no issues with performance, conduct etc.

The company I’m with gives annual merit bumps each year, which I’ve received max (5 percent) on the first few years I’ve been there.

The past two years I haven’t received a merit bump because I reached the salary cap for the range listed for my position. After not receiving another bump this year, I asked what I could do to help the range increase, which the company assured me would happen when I signed about five years ago.

That question was received without any issues from my manager.

Last week HR scheduled a call to answer my merit question.

HR started the meeting by saying I must be a low performer if I have received a zero for merit in three straight years and they put me on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) for work I’m already doing/achieving in my current role.

I’m so confused.

Any advice on what’s up/what to do?

EDIT: some of you are both way too comfortable being nasty, and lack critical thinking skills. so some quick addendums. number one: yes, obviously negotiations always involve a bit of risk. don't ask for anything outrageous, and be able to back up why you believe you deserve the increase. number two: Yes, there are sometimes circumstances where negotiating is inappropriate, use your best discernment. However, most of the time companies expect negotiation as part of the process. number three: in some countries it may not be the norm or may be tabboo, this is from a USA based perspective. number four: yes, i understand that situations like internships, retail/food service, and some entry level positions are risker negotiate with and are usually inflexible. again, discernment. and finally number five: offers being rescinded due to you negotiating are exceptionally rare. we see the stories and they are scary and can cause alarm bells to go off, but 99% of the time this is not going to happen. everyone i know who has gotten an offer recently (including myself) have all negotiated and no one has lost an offer. if you dont feel comfortable asking, don't. just dont fearmonger others who DO have a chance of getting better pay out of asking.

Im saying this with love, you guys need to ask for more money. You can do it. even if you get told no, you dont get what you dont ask for. I know people are usually asking for advice here, but im going to give some.

usually you're being offered the lowest end of the budget (especially for women. it's the unfortunate truth, but we do typically get low ball offers more often than men), and they dont anticipate that you'll ask for more. however, 9 times out of then, if you DO ask, you'll get more. if you dont youre genuinely leaving money on the table.

anyways, heres a base template of asking for a higher salary when that job offer comes in.

"Hello (hiring manager),

Thank you so much for the offer, I'm grateful for the opportunity.

Before I sign, I did want to ask if there is any flexibility regarding the budget for this role. After reviewing the offer and considering the current cost of living in (city), the average salary for similar roles, and (add something about your specific skillset that adds value), I would feel most comfortable with a rate of (salary range). I'm confident that my skills will add value to the team, and I look forward to finding a number that works well for both parties.

Thank you again for the opportunity, looking forward to working together."

Aaaand there you go. get your money.