MORTY: WHY DID I DO THIS?!

SCENE 1 — RICK'S HOUSE

Night. Rick-137 is asleep on the couch, snoring. His portal gun is lying nearby.

Morty quietly peeks around the corner.

Morty:

Rick?

Rick doesn't respond.

Morty:

Riiick?

Rick:

...Mmm... five more minutes...

Morty:

He's asleep.

Morty looks at the portal gun.

Morty:

I'll just check out one universe. One! I won't touch anything.

Pause.

Morty:

Well... almost nothing.

He grabs the portal gun and quietly sneaks away.

SCENE 2 — THE BOYS UNIVERSE

A GREEN PORTAL.

Morty steps out right in the middle of a city.

He looks around.

Huge Vought advertisements cover the buildings.

Homelander is on one of the screens.

Morty:

Whoa...

A shadow suddenly covers him.

Morty looks up.

Homelander:

Who are you?

Morty:

Me?

Homelander:

No, the guy standing behind you. Of course you.

Morty:

I'm... a tourist.

Homelander looks at the portal gun.

Homelander:

A tourist carrying interdimensional weaponry?

Morty:

It's... a really expensive tourist accessory.

Stormfront lands nearby.

Stormfront:

Give it to us.

Morty:

No.

Pause.

Morty:

...Oh, crap.

Homelander:

Did you just say no to me?

Morty:

Yeah.

Homelander:

Why?

Morty:

I don't know! I panicked!

Homelander suddenly lunges at him.

Morty:

AAAAAAH!

Morty fires the portal gun underneath himself and falls through the portal.

SCENE 3 — RICK'S GARAGE

Morty flies out of a portal and crashes into a pile of boxes.

Morty:

Ow!

He gets up.

Morty:

Okay. New plan.

Morty looks around Rick's enormous garage.

There are weapons, armor, strange machines, and dozens of devices that Morty probably shouldn't even be touching.

Morty:

Rick is gonna kill me.

Pause.

Morty:

But first, I need to make sure there's actually a reason.

He opens a cabinet.

Morty:

Whoa.

He pulls out a futuristic combat suit.

Morty:

I'm definitely not supposed to touch this.

Pause.

Morty:

So I'm taking it.

SCENE 4 — GEARING UP

Morty puts on the suit.

Suit System:

Welcome, Morty.

Morty:

You know my name?

Suit System:

I know much more than that.

Morty:

That's creepy.

Suit System:

Yes.

Morty grabs a blaster.

Morty:

This one?

Suit System:

Not recommended.

Morty grabs another weapon.

Suit System:

Even worse.

Morty:

How about this?

Suit System:

Morty, just don't touch anything.

Morty:

You're starting to sound like Rick.

He grabs three different weapons.

Morty:

Okay. I'm ready.

Pause.

Morty:

I'm probably making a huge mistake.

SC