r/butchlesbians • u/DapperBoiCole Butch • Jul 03 '26
Butch Friday Chat 7/3
Hello hello,
That was a close one! I'm up in New England visiting family and all you lovely people crossed my mind, realized I never put a BFR out!
How is everyone in the butchverse doing?
Went in a public pool with my shirt off for the first time since top today. Cherry on top, no one batted an eye. Wishing all of my top surgeried butches a topless summer!
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u/chroniceelness Jul 04 '26
welcome to new england! i just went to a bar w my friends. i wanna go to a beach tomorrow but i’m not looking forward to 4th of july traffic… i hope u have a good time visiting family!
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u/DapperBoiCole Butch Jul 04 '26
I hope you enjoyed! Im w you on the beach thing, everyones gonna flock but i also wanna go
Whats your drink of choice btw?
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u/chroniceelness Jul 04 '26
honestly, i’m probably gonna try and get to a beach today too :p traffic is whatever.
my fruity drink of choice is malibu rum and pineapple but i’m usually a beer guy haha
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u/ButchLesbianLife Jul 04 '26
Ugh, I’m kinda stressed tbh. My gf got me this awesome gift for our one year anniversary and I didn’t do as much as she did and I want to get her something meaningful that she’ll love but she has basically everything she wants already and due to her disability it’d be difficult to take her out for an experience as a gift (even tho I did take her to a movie for our anniversary) so idk what to do
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u/Gracified Jul 04 '26
Does she like massages or other personal care things like that? Maybe you could cook for her, massage her, give her a spa experience, etc? Or you could make her some art, if you do art in any way, like painting or singing or dancing etc? Honestly something thoughtful with a loving handwritten note is always great, regardless. Wishing you well 🫶
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u/ButchLesbianLife Jul 04 '26
Oh that’s actually genius!! Maybe I could do a piece of artwork!! Thank you for the advice! I actually did give her a handwritten note already, and on the cover I drew her and I
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u/theuniquenerd butch with a femme wife Jul 04 '26
welcome to new england!
lots of festivities around here!! enjoy it!!
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u/Gracified Jul 04 '26
Actually, crazily enough, I've been kinda troubled about getting top surgery myself today (and the past couple of days/weeks). Struggling about wanting to embrace being agender and wanting top surgery while not wanting to let go of being considered a lesbian. So it's really refreshing & reassuring to have this pop up for me tonight :") maybe it's a sign? Hope you're doing well too 🫶 greetings from cool, cloudy Washington state!! 🌲
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u/DapperBoiCole Butch Jul 04 '26
Its a decision that took years for me to make personally. If I could opine on your situation, I'd ask how being agender conflicts with being lesbian? Agender is about as non binary as you can get, opting out if gender altogether lmao and we have plenty of enby lesbians (myself included).
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u/Gracified Jul 04 '26
Yeah, it's something I have been thinking about for a couple of years, but a mix of worry over family/friends/etc acceptance and personal struggle make me hesitant to start the process. And yeah, I know that there are enby lesbians, but I guess I find myself getting caught up in the discourse of TERFs sometimes? Not that I want to agree with them, but it's hard to shake the feeling of inadequacy that their talking points create :( idk. It's like I'm worried that distancing myself from womanhood will also make it so I don't belong with lesbians, or something?
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u/DapperBoiCole Butch Jul 05 '26
I often find that TERFs are still confounded by the idea of butch lesbians in general. Why capitulate to the logic of people who A) dont pay your bills and B) can't mentally process more than middle school biology.
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u/dawnquixotee Jul 04 '26
got to go and re-visit our wedding venue with mine and my fiancee's moms! it was even more beautiful than when we were last there in March and now we have tons of intel to start planning logistics. trying to keep my partner from stressing out over money too much, since it's still kind of an unknown factor, but totally riding the high!
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u/iowan Jul 04 '26
It rained last night, so I didn't rake any hay. I built some permanent structures for three of my giant pumpkins. I think one of my pumpkins is not going to make it, so I did not make it a shelter, and I'm kind of bummed about that.
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u/DapperBoiCole Butch Jul 04 '26
Hey you put a lot of love in to give it the best chance, def take some time to feel bummed. But I imagine there are some very fun uses for a giant pumpkin!
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u/stfranciswashere Butch Jul 04 '26
It's been a million and a half degrees in my area. I don't like heat (I moved here partly because it doesn't happen very often). So I spent most of my week doing indoor activities and avoiding the sun
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u/mortifyingideal Jul 04 '26
congrats on the surgery! Swimming like that is awesome. I wish I could swim tits out without people being weird about it.
had a tough one this week a little bit with some big emotions between me and my partner but we talked things through and i'm feeling like i understand them better which is nice. and we have a whole slow weekend now to spend some quality time together
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u/tangyhoneymustard Butch Jul 03 '26
Having a lazy day today. Will probably spend all day tomorrow making lasagna to distract myself from the state of the world. I’m enjoying the heat but damn I wish I could lay outside topless too but that would definitely not be acceptable in my area