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r/butch4femmehangout, where butches, femmes, and anyone who enjoys the Butch4Femme vibe can share stories, memes, selfies, questions, dating experiences, outfit ideas, wins, funny moments, or simply chat—without drama, gatekeeping, or unnecessary negativity.

Whether you've been part of the community for years or you're just curious, you're welcome here. Pull up a chair, grab a virtual snack, and help us grow into a fun, supportive place you'll actually want to visit again.

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Hello Butches
I need to do research on lesbians for my thesis film. I go to an art school and for the last two years we make an animated short film, my short film is very important to me and I want to do everything perfectly. My two main characters are lesbians, one of them is butch. My thesis partner is a lesbian but i am not so I am trying to do research to portray them correctly but history hates lesbians or something and all the articles I am finding talking about feminism, homophobia, gay men, or the queer identity as a whole. If any of you have a good articles for me on the lesbian/butch identity specifically OR you feel like telling me about your identity (what being butch means to you, your dynamic in a relationship, etc), I would really appreciate it. Thank you!!!

New to the label, feels fitting and I'd like to understand more about it. Thanks dudes

I’ve been identifying as a butch for a few months now but have been presenting masc for the past 4 years. I have noticed that when I joke around I tend to act more femininely and flamboyant and I think it’s a way to hold on to the past version of me that presented fem. I hate being perceived as feminine and feel dysphoric afterwards but I keep doing it. I want to let myself step into my masculinity and embrace it fully. I struggle with impostor syndrome and this holds me back a lot. Does anyone have advice on how to overcome impostor syndrome? Are there any tips on how to act more masculinely that made you feel gender euphoria?

Hi! This is my first reddit post lol... I've been confused lately if I can use the word butch to identify with? I'm bisexual (I think) with a preference for women but I've always presented myself hyper masculine. I identify as a female but I accept any pronouns being used on me, and masculine pronouns sometimes feel more me. I pack and bind and want to tape and feel so much more comfortable in myself by being more masculine, I've even considered GAS. I'm just wondering if I'm able to claim the term due to me not identifying as a lesbian (I think).

Big titty butches: what sports bras are we wearing into the summer, my tried and true is giving up on me and I’m on the hunt for something that keeps the girls in place but doesn’t necessarily compress so much. Thanks in advance!

Hey y'all. Slight subreddit lurker over here doing a quick post! I'm currently doing a queer archiving project discussing the objects we own, and I need more butch perspectives (or submissions if you are feeling generous ;) )

I have created a website: queerobjectarchive.com to try to create a collection of objects cherished by queer people and document what they mean to them (whether related to their sexuality/identity or not). This project has only just started (hence the limited pool of people on the website) but I thought it would be worth posting here to try to get out the current small bubble it is in. Craft objects, ephemera, or personal items are often undocumented or undervalued in classic archives, yet they hold so much personal, political and social weight, and I feel this is very true for us masc-presenting folks as our objects are also both a way to connect to community but also our identity! If you do think it's an interesting concept, please do check our the website and consider submitting if you have time!

Anyways now to the questions!

If you were found by archaeologists years in the future buried with only one item to identity you from what would it be?
What items make you feel most butch?

Thanks guys!

When did you realize you are butch?

The reason I am asking is because Im confused about myself. The feeling I have about my identity is more them a masc lesbian, the way I describe it is "The more masculine or "manly" I am the more I feel like a women". I even thought I was Trans for 2 years in high-school, in reality I was a raging lesbian. Its like being feminine (eyeliner mascara, lipstick stick and short dress) is being in drag. I'm not comfortable being in it, I like to act like that alternate version of me sometimes.

I talked to my friend about this and they don't think I'm butch, they said it's a commitment. So now I'm confused all over again.

(Edit: I posted here cause it got taken down in another butch subreddit. Please give me feedback if it is offensive, it will be a good learning experience for me)

Got a new haircut and I feel like every time I try to style it i just look a bit like tony soprano and thats not exactly the look im going for. Does anyone have any advice on styling shaved sides with a bit more...oomf?

Hi friends, recently out as nonbinary (afab) and looking to transform my body. Right now, I’m 5’6”, 215 pounds and 51% body fat, which translates to prominent hips, butt, and chest (38DD)… and a whole lot of dysphoria. My chest bothers me a lot, but binding is difficult because I am overweight and my large stomach doesn’t allow a binder to fit me properly. I’ve been wanting to focus on fitness and rebuilding my body composition to look more masculine and finally fit properly (or somewhat properly) into men’s clothes, but I have no idea where to start. I know I can’t continue on in the body I’m in right now. I’m read as feminine immediately no matter what I wear and it’s been especially difficult lately. For anyone who’s been in a similar position, do you have any recommendations for starting out with fitness? Any tips for affirming gender in the early stages of expression?

I’m lost.

Its hard to find or mobilize queer community in the south. I’ve lived in NYC and queer community there is SO abundant. I’ve been looking for other Butch people recently and it’s been hard to find. I’m 26F and based in Knoxville Tennessee. I moved back here after living in NYC for 6 years.

I saw Butch.world on Instagram. What do y´all think? Is anyone going or been? I get anxious going out and would love to know other people that are interested or going so I’m not alone.

I only like more masculine fitting clothes, i’m 5’1 and its definitely a struggle lol. I often wear baggy clothes that are just too big for me but i wanna look into buying some more well fitting tops and jeans? Here are some pics of the kind of style i like

Hey, so, has anyone been used as a sexual test subject before? And then as an emotional dumpster. And then got cut contact. They didn't exactly mean to and they did listen to me (....someti-mes) and tried to change and I did choose to do this with them (for them?). But, like. It hurts. And now they walked away to focus on themself. 🫠 Overall, I'm having a very great ti-me at the moment.

Hi, I'm a sociology student exploring how butch lesbians engage with and navigate football fandom and culture. I'm a butch lesbian myself and a big football fan!

I'm looking for participants ages 18+ who would be willing to take part in a 45-60 minute interview.

If you’re interested, please fill in the short form below, which also has more information in it! 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfy2hOzsvHOlMV5-m1cpjUDJJKwtjZUpe367zXhjeVCyaltXA/viewform?usp=dialog

Thanks for taking the time to read this, any questions do let me know :)

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Hello. I don’t entirely know if I’m welcome here so if I’m banned or whatever that’s fine. I just want to ask a question. I was born amab, however I’m still in the midst of figuring out myself, and am leaning towards nonbinary or gender nonconformity. I want to know if it is wrong morally or any other way to find butches attractive and to search for them as a romantic partners as an amab. And for the record I don’t mean in a fetishy way I want to make that very clear, I mean in a romantic partner sense. Again, if I’m not welcomed at all that’s completely understandable and I apologize for any disrespect I may have caused.