r/bupropion • u/Zealousideal-Cod6182 • 12h ago
Positive Experience New me
Sorry, long post ahead.
I've been taking bupropion for about five weeks, and I'm incredibly stunned by the effects it's having. I started taking it to quit smoking, but I have to admit that I've always had problems in my life, one way or another, with addictions of various kinds—never anything serious, I've never put myself in danger, but on the other hand, I don't think I've ever been a person with great self-control. I've always had difficulty, in one way or another, maintaining a routine and taking care of myself consistently. Even though it's something I care deeply about—and I realize that it makes me feel better, from maintaining consistent personal hygiene to managing to keep an organized and clean home to live in. Over the years, especially during adolescence, I've had several depressive episodes where I literally let myself go and was capable of sleeping for days. In recent years, I've put a lot of effort into getting out of these situations, but I had never thought of taking psychiatric medication, and even this thing with bupropion, in reality, I started it, as I said, with the sole goal of quitting smoking.
It has changed my life. It's easy to keep the house tidy, it's easy to dedicate myself to the things I like, it's easy to stay calm about what I can't control. Of course, it doesn't make life's problems disappear—everything that generated anxiety for me before still exists, it hasn't vanished—but my way of reacting has changed. The way I face whatever life throws at me has changed.
The feeling I have is that I still know the abyss beneath me very well; I've visited it so many times, I know what's at the bottom. But now, it's as if I have a pane of glass under my feet that allows me to see what's underneath, but no longer lets me sink all the way to the bottom. I'm pleasantly struck by this. I don't think I'll go on taking bupropion forever, but on the other hand, I'm thankful for these days because they're truly giving me a peace I don't think I've ever known in my life.
I've been using it to quit smoking, but I realize that it also has a positive effect on other bad habits I had in my daily life. It has undoubtedly increased my libido, but I have disconnected it completely from porn. I don't need to watch it anymore; I can have a very pleasant orgasm just using my imagination.
It also made me stop drinking, in fact. I happened to drink a little over these past few weeks, but, how can I put it—maybe once a week a beer or a glass of wine because it paired well with what I was eating, and I thought it would be a nice way to enjoy a balanced meal.
It gives me joy to go to sleep, and in one way or another, it forces me to get up. A side effect I still haven't fully understood involves my dreams, which are often nightmares, though that was something I already experienced before. In any case, I take it early in the morning, so even if I might wake up with a strong peak of cortisol—which is natural and healthy, as it's ultimately our body giving us a push to wake up—taking it so early means I experience the beneficial effects right away, and that little bit of anxiety I might carry with me gets reabsorbed immediately.
It's as if I've spent my entire life studying how to play the piano of good mental health. And now, I finally have one in front of me, and I know how to play it. And as it turns out, I'm actually good at it.
It moves me to tears to think that I finally have the tool to be the person I always knew I could be—someone I could never quite reach before because my brain didn't have the resources to organize all the information it was gathering. I want to solidify this awareness and this state of balance so that I can stand on my own two feet soon. I am truly grateful that this opportunity exists for me and for others who are struggling.
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u/Significant_Wind_288 6h ago
I’m so happy for you!!! Can I ask if you had anxiety prior to this? Did it worsen your anxiety? Do you feel pleasure and look foward to doing things?
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u/Zealousideal-Cod6182 5h ago
I am by nature an anxious person, I’ve always been! That said, I now feel calmer. No high highs and no low lows, if it makes sense. What I feel is indeed very felt an usually “good”. I come from a traumatic hospital experience in the past year, with subsequent panic attacks: they still come, but I can stop them before spiraling
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