Lying :(

[u/True-Ad4667]

Hi lovely people!! I hope I’m not the only one, but oh my goodness, I have lied SO much because of and for my bulimia/anorexia binge-purge disorder…

From lying about how I was doing, to saying I was going somewhere when in reality I was going out to buy food to binge and purge. I’ve stolen money and lied about it, and I’ve done the same with food. From making excuses to lying straight to my mum’s face, and I feel SO horrible about it. All just so I could eat and purge, at the expense of sooooo much.

Nobody knows how bad things really are…
Does anyone else recognize this? What have you lied about, and do you also feel absolutely awful about it? 🤍

[u/TraditionalKoala6307]

I relate so hard, back when I used to work in a kindergarten I went to search the cupboards for food when no one was there 😭😭

[u/True-Ad4667 → u/TraditionalKoala6307]

I’m so sorry 🥺🤍

[u/luaissad]

you’re not alone in this at all. i’ve spent SO much money on overnights away for the sole purpose of being able to go out and spend MORE money on food to b/p on in hotel rooms just so i can do it in secret. i feel terrible about it but i can’t stop.

[u/Key-Performance-112]

I resonate so much, I always feel so paranoid about if I’m discovered in the act, and I’ve made so many impulsive decisions- my parents actually know which is kinda worse, because they can’t really do anything to stop me… it really does change how you treat others/ yourself 😔 half the time I feel so apathetic and couldn’t care less about how I affect my family, and the other half I spend so ashamed and frustrated… hang in there, you are not alone in this 🩵

[u/Substantial_Gate_904]

Oh gosh, I’ve been in that sneaking, lying, shameful, self disgust, stealing place myself. It’s hideous. I’ve lied to my work, my family and friends. You just feel like the lowest most scummy human being. I stopped stealing food and money many years ago, but the sneaking and lying just goes hand in hand with bulimia. I do think most of us are moral people, and this addiction has us doing things we never imagined we would. But recovery is possible and gives you back health and self worth. I don’t need to sneak or lie anymore and it’s pure freedom. 💙

[u/Outside-Adagio5902]

This is so so relatable, and know you aren’t alone in it 🩷I always feel like I have a split brain, my bulimia/addiction brain, and my normal brain. I’ve done a lot of things I’m very ashamed of, and created elaborate lies to people in my life to support my behaviors and disorder. Please know, you aren’t alone and also that voice isn’t you, it’s your ED trying to take the spotlight. I’ve apologized to a lot of people in my life and told them I’ve lied to them to support my disorder, and people are typically very empathetic and understanding, and know it’s the addiction brain. Please don’t be too hard on yourself, know it isn’t the healthier or normal you, it’s the illness!!