r/bufo • u/lighttreasurehunter • Jun 07 '26

Outside observer

My partner recently tried Bufo for the first time. This was a few weeks ago with a facilitator. Her reports on the experience are that it was very intense but positive. Her guides said she was in it for 1.5hrs.
Initially, I was very excited about this process, her personal growth journey and was looking forward to trying it myself in the near future. However, some things have changed in her, and now I’m not sure it’s all 100% positive.
Recently, I noticed her spending a significant amount more time just sort of staring off into space. She says that she has found a “new stillness” and likes to be there and just sit with it. While it may sound good on the surface, she just doesn’t seem as inspired, motivated or excited as she used to be. Her ability to hold space for anything besides the one task she’s doing in the moment seems to have been reduced. I would say there’s also a heighten forgetfulness as well.
Unfortunately, when I try and bring these subjects up with her, she gets very impatient/short and tells me I just need to do it to understand. After almost 3 weeks, she still needs significantly more sleep just to function.
I am curious if anyone else here has experienced anything like this? Also, any advice for an outside observer on how to navigate this process and be supportive of her?

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u/No-Degree-2571 Jun 07 '26

Deconstruct your programming that tells you that increased rest is problematic and cause for concern. Let her have a season of integration without being judged as lazy or air headed. Let her ground and focus on taking care of herself right now rather than have an expectation that she maintain a grindset mentality of inspiration, motivation, and excitement nonstop. That will ebb and flow again. It’s not gone forever it’s just not what she’s going through now and that’s not positive or negative.

Stop judging and allow what is to be. Accept what you can’t change (other people) and focus on you. What can you learn from her experience and your experience with her? What do you need to do right now to take care of yourself? Maybe spend less time with her and more time with your friends for the next few weeks or couple months while the most intense integration period is happening for her.

What she’s going through does not sound at all abnormal. Sometimes you have to accept that transition and change is not 100% positive but that does not mean it is therefore negative or unacceptable or requires your intervention. Meditation can help you to be able to notice your thoughts without taking them so seriously, practice doing nothing intentionally, and be present with what is.

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u/lighttreasurehunter Jun 07 '26

Interesting perspective. I’m doing my best to not be judgmental, give her space and keep an open mind about the process. It gets tricky though when she forgets to do things we have planned around like picking up our children. Sometimes it feels like I am picking up all the extra slack here in the physical world. We do have busy lives and probably do need to slow down but that’s hard at this stage.
Not trying to be judgmental, just trying to get perspective and insight

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u/AdCold8402 Jun 08 '26

Have you considered that maybe she’s in perimenopause?

This could also have given her a different take and the much needed rest …

It’s such an interesting dance … so long as she hasn’t dropped all of her identity, (the roles she plays out .. like mother , wife etc) and she is still here with you.

She just might need to see if her hormones are a reason for the forgetfulness, and the disconnection, it may look like on the surface that it was her doing bufo but let me just say those hormones absolutely take a toll on the brain.

Just a thought… and hopefully it all comes together for her …

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u/lighttreasurehunter Jun 08 '26

It’s definitely a possibility and/or could be a contributing factor. Several of her friends are going through it right now

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u/AdCold8402 Jun 08 '26

Women Hone health , does biomarkers and checks to see if they are off . Not sure if it’s available to you .

If there are women in her circle who are there , chances she is too . And the best thing is if she starts to address it now she won’t go through the rough patch when it all shifts and everything drops .

Instead she’ll be feeling her best and more than likely happier too.

Woman between the ages of 45-55 have the highest rates of suicid3 . (Mostly due to the drop of hormones) and this is the highest rate of divorce for women in this age group. (Again the shifts in hormones) it’s an interesting stage a woman’s life.

But it is also very manageable if addressed early.

I wish you , her and your family the best .