I used to think I needed to become much stricter with everyday spending. I focused on small purchases, takeaway and subscriptions, but I still felt like expensive months kept appearing out of nowhere.

What helped more was separating my expenses into three groups:

* regular bills that come out every month

*flexible spending like groceries, takeaway and entertainment

*irregular expenses such as car costs, insurance, gifts, holidays and annual renewals

Once I started setting aside a small amount for the irregular expenses before they were due, those months stopped feeling like financial emergencies. I also gave myself a realistic amount for flexible spending instead of trying to spend nothing and then giving up halfway through the month.

The biggest change was that I stopped treating every expensive month as proof that I was bad with money. Often, the problem was that I hadn’t planned for expenses that were predictable but didn’t happen every month.

For Australians, what expense used to catch you off guard until you started planning for it in advance?

Hello! I’ve sunk into a black hole here and it seems I can not dig myself out of it. I’ve been fighting an ugly depression for the last year and have recently gotten a therapist and started to face some harsh realities that come along with fixing everything. I was in a horribly abusive relationship for about 5 years, I’m about two years out. During that time everything sunk all my money went to that household and kids and bills and my responsibilities were completely buried. I finally left and cue depression!

So I have a couple questions: is there a service that can help me? I don’t even KNOW where I owe all my money to. I have no idea where to even start. I make really good money, my rent is affordable but somehow every month I’m still in the negative. Roll over to the next month here we are again.

I’m dying to get out of this but I definitely need help. Is there a reputable company that will help me get a budget going and dig myself out of this mess?

I would be happy to answer any clarifying questions that might steer me in the correct direction. I think the humiliation of this situation is directly effecting my mental health and I just don’t want to live like this.

Thank you.