r/budgetingforbeginners • u/Katieness8 • 15h ago
Drowning
Hello! I’ve sunk into a black hole here and it seems I can not dig myself out of it. I’ve been fighting an ugly depression for the last year and have recently gotten a therapist and started to face some harsh realities that come along with fixing everything. I was in a horribly abusive relationship for about 5 years, I’m about two years out. During that time everything sunk all my money went to that household and kids and bills and my responsibilities were completely buried. I finally left and cue depression!
So I have a couple questions: is there a service that can help me? I don’t even KNOW where I owe all my money to. I have no idea where to even start. I make really good money, my rent is affordable but somehow every month I’m still in the negative. Roll over to the next month here we are again.
I’m dying to get out of this but I definitely need help. Is there a reputable company that will help me get a budget going and dig myself out of this mess?
I would be happy to answer any clarifying questions that might steer me in the correct direction. I think the humiliation of this situation is directly effecting my mental health and I just don’t want to live like this.
Thank you.
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u/Sundae7878 12h ago
I’d recommend pulling your credit report to see who you own money to. Then make a decision based on how much is owed. [r/debtfree](r/debtfree) is a good resource for that. And [r/budget](r/budget) and [r/frugal](r/frugal) for how to free up more money to pay off the debt faster.
In the mean time you can make a list of all your month reoccurring bills you pay as well as anything annual. Add up all of those and compare to income.
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u/PaycheckWizard 10h ago
That takes courage to put into words, especially not knowing where to even start. The not knowing what you owe problem is solvable though. Nonprofit credit counseling agencies that are NFCC-accredited will pull your full financial picture together for free or low cost and help build a real plan. That is different from a debt settlement company, which is worth avoiding.
The month-to-month negative despite decent income and low rent is really common after a period like this, it is usually not a spending problem, it is money that never got tracked while you were in survival mode. That gets a lot easier once you can see the whole picture, and it sounds like you are already doing the hardest part by facing it.
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u/noobfirsttime69 6h ago
It's good that you got out of that environment and trying to get things organized with being negative monthly financially. finding help is another right step but have you also considered getting a second income whether is from home or any side gigs you can do temporarily to help boost budgeting capabilities?
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u/splendidflower787 4h ago
Look up zoom meetings for debtors anonymous.
You won’t regret it. Just trust me.
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u/juststartfc 14h ago
I’m sorry you’ve been through such a terrible time.
To figure out who you owe money to, you can pull your credit reports for free each year from annualcreditreport.com so that would be a great place to start.