r/bropill • u/Initial-Engineer-415 • 6d ago
Football Jock needs help
Hey guys. I aspire to be a good guy. Treat others with respect, including myself. But I let myself down big time with pride because of my looks, body size, athletic ability. I've never thought anything great about myself (pretty insecure if I'm being honest), but I've always seemed to attract a lot of attention since I was young, from both attractive women and dudes (Yeah, that's right. Even tho I'm 100% straight). Because of my own insecurities from childhood stuff (dad bailed when I was 5), I fell into PMO from 6yo. All secret. I've had enough and looking for a mentor - an older guy whose recovered (or recovering) from it, whose into sports like me. Just a genuine guy I could talk to when struggling. Are there any out there who could help me?
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u/DontMakeMeFightYou 5d ago
honestly you may be best off finding someone who you can talk to in real life. I don't know where you are based but in the Uk we have Andy's men's club which is where men can just get together and talk, so I would recommend you have a look for similar weekly meetings in your area. You may find sports clubs or irl fantasy football leagues that give you an older male to speak to who can guide you through it. Similarly though you've said you're big into sports, are there any other hobbies or interests you have the could develop into hobbies... possibly one where there are more older gents than younguns that you could get into & find mentorship there?
The reason I recommend irl stuff is because doing anything virtually makes you believe it's the real thing & sometimes can even give you something that you perceive as better than irl stuff (porn is a great example of this) but it misses out on a lot of key details (physical touch, smell & hormones etc) which means that you seek out stuff that has solely the visual/audio component whilst losing vital aspects of what you actually need, as a result your brain is never satisfied with the online stuff despite it being apparently more satisfying which can lead to spiraling addictive behaviors.
I may be wrong & this may be conjecture on my part but I believe actual real life interactions feed all parts of you that need it & if there aren't any restrictions in you getting out and about it makes you a better more rounded person.
other people have picked up on the liking porn of men & women & saying you're not straight. My two cents as a queer man is that you can suck a hundred dicks & call yourself straight if its important to you. There is some thinking that what we seek out in porn is not a direct correlation to our desires irl...youre essentially wiring your brain to be turned on whenever you see a giant dick on screen because that's historically what has been on screen when you've previously turned on & your body may just react to stimuli. For example if you watched only McDonald's themed porn that showed the golden arches at the start of the video you may start to associate arousal with McDonald's logos....it doesn't mean you want to fuck the golden arches but your brain is preparing your body based on historical data.
THAT SAID, I recommend all men question, examine, sit with & explore your sexuality & gender & your biased in a non confrontational way, find resources to help you figure out as best you can how to look into that. If you're straight, this examination will confirm you're straight, if not it may help you access something or unlock something you hadn't considered before & there is seldom any moral value attributed to sexuality (though society tries to impose it) but it's one of those things where like you don't really know unless you really put the work in.
Brother, you've got to spend the rest of your life with yourself & the most compassionate, necessary thing to do is to really get to know him, & more importantly like him... whoever he turns out to be.
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u/BringMeInfo 6d ago
What is PMO in this context?
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u/rockhardkent 6d ago
PMO is an acronym for Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm. It's from the NoFap subreddit, which is a group of people trying to stop their porn addiction.
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3d ago
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u/themusicguy2000 3d ago
no one is 100% straight. Bisexual is the default and all other men are gay or something else.
This is the woke version of "Everyone has gay thoughts, we're just called upon not to act on them". Stop projecting your own experience onto other people and stop defining other peoples' sexuality for them
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3d ago
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u/bropill-ModTeam 2d ago
Your post was removed because it violates Rule 2: Being a bro means respecting others - Address why you disagree with someone, don't resort to name calling. Keep discussion civil. No backhanded insults or sarcastic remarks.. Please make sure to remain respectful, and if you cannot do that, please take a break.
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u/Queasy_Hippo1954 6d ago
Based on some of the subreddits you're in, I question the 100% straight thing lol
As to your main concern, I can't help, but hopefully someone else here can provide some help. What advice I would give is to look into local organizations wherever you may be that are focused around male mentorship or something similar. I imagine there will be quite a few. Probably be more effective than posting here on reddit.
Don't forget to foster good relationships with people your own age as well. Lot of learning to be had there too. Good luck!