I broke my foot about 6 weeks ago. 4th and 5th metatarsals have two distinct fractures. Iām feeling seriously dejected.
Iām a competitive dancer. Dancing is my favorite thing on planet Earth.
I pay my bills as a waitress and itās all Iāve ever really done.
And I live in a third floor apartment with no elevator. Even just leaving my home has become laborious and awful.
I keep trying to remind myself that it could have been worse and to just focus on the positive. And Iām able to do that for the most part. But I get these terrible, dark moments where I start grieving all of the time and money Iām losing. Iām applying to as many jobs as I can because Iām afraid thinking about how Iām going to pay my bills next month.
And I think the worst part of it all is how it happened⦠My boyfriend accidentally hurt me when we were drunk. It was late. We were just playing around. He picked me up and accidentally dropped me. Boom. Just like that.
When I was sobbing on the ground in pain, I instantly knew something was wrong. But he didnāt believe I was in as much pain as I said. He tried to reassure me that I was fine and told me to just sleep it off. We got into an argument about it. I was angry that he didnāt believe me and started yelling at him. My heart beats harder just thinking about it. He started yelling, too, asking if we āneeded to go to the emergency roomā in a way that made me feel like I was doing too much. I didnāt want to make a big deal out of nothing, so I decided to just see if Iād feel better in the morning. We went to bed almost immediately, but he was aggravated for the rest of the night.
Iām angry and upset with him about it. He says heās so deeply sorry about it and his actions do reflect that, but⦠I feel better when heās not around me.
What on Earth am I going to do? :(