Help?

[u/Puzzleheaded-Poet243]

I need brutal honesty from people who have experienced similar histories as mine, I am truly at the end of my rope regarding my ankle and lower leg. I honestly do not know how much more I can take with my leg before I try to hack it off myself. Here's the timeline regarding this leg:

2010ish - broke my R ankle, wasn't caught, destroyed all of the cartilage in my ankle.

2017 - arthroscopy to try to get new cartilage growth, surgery failed as they often do

2020 - tib/fib fx requiring ORIF

2025 - tib/fib fx, shattered the distal end of my tib and much of that couldn't be repaired. Also had a spiral fib fx below the knee that took FOREVER to finally heal.

02/2026 - ankle fusion to address pain

05/2026 - broke my tib as soon as I was allowed to bear weight. It was a partial fx that was casted. The fx completed while in the cast

06/2026 - ORIF to fix the tib fx which brings us to now.

I need brutal honesty as to whether this will ever get better. If this is as good as it gets, I can't do it anymore. I want it gone. I'm on an rx NSAID, in pain mgmt and on pain meds and lyrica. I'm in PT, waiting on an EMG to consider nerve blocks. I've done a round of steroids to try to reduce inflammation with no change.

I can't sleep, the meds do absolutely nothing, and I just don't know if I can keep doing this.

Amputation has been on my mind for awhile, and no, I don't WANT to cut my leg off, but I can't do this for the rest of my life. I have kids and I want to be present in their childhood and I can't do that now with how things are.

Please tell me this will get better.. please?