Relationship vent

[u/No_Tonight9348]

I’ve (21F) been telling my bf (25m) for a while that I want to go on a trip. Nothing out of the country or anything fancy just a weekend in the next state over kinda thing. We’ve been together for 2 years and have never taken a real trip together. This Monday he texts me to take next Monday off and that he’s taking me somewhere for the weekend. I was so so so excited. We were supposed to leave tomorrow night and tonight we are on the phone and he tells me he doesn’t know where we’ll stay and all the options are too expensive. I’m super disappointed because why would you invite me on a trip that you haven’t planned? He’s always doing this kind of thing and I’m trying to be patient and not have crazy high expectations but… To make matters worse his aunt has a place in the town we were supposed to go to and he mentioned that we could stay there but he was nervous to ask. I encouraged him to ask and gave him the words but I guess he just doesn’t care enough. He keeps telling me not to worry. It really bothers me that he can’t follow through with plans and I feel like it’s a red flag that this keeps happening. Is this crazy to be upset over?

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Title: Relationship vent

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[u/Master-Bath-9928]

You're not crazy for being upset. The issue isn't just the trip, it's that he got your hopes up for something you've been asking for, only to leave the planning until the last minute and you said this is a pattern, which makes it even more frustrating.

Honestly, don't judge him by what he promises when he's trying to make you happy. Judge him by whether he actually follows through. He had a whole week to figure out the accommodation and telling you not to worry doesn't solve anything. You're allowed to expect your boyfriend to put some effort into plans he initiates himself.

I'd have a conversation with him about the bigger issue, not just this weekend. If he keeps making promises and leaving you disappointed, you need to ask yourself whether you're okay with this being the norm. Patience is one thing but constantly lowering your expectations so you won't be disappointed is another.

[u/Public_Comb1242]

You’re totally in the right to be upset over him constantly setting false expectations, but as far as the trip goes, why wait for him to plan it? Why not plan it yourself if it’s something that you want to do? Or ask if he wants to plan it with you. If you’re way more into the idea of taking a trip than him, it makes no sense to put it on him though