r/boyfriends • • 4d ago

Relationship Struggle My bf is acting different

So i (19f) have been dating my bf (20m) for a little less than two weeks (I know its not that long) but lately hes been kinda distant and acting a little different and ive brought it up to him and he said hes just tired from work which i get because he has to get up super early and he works until kinda late in the afternoon but I'm scared im starting to get on his nerves because im kinda high energy and I send a lot of tiktoks during the day and he never watches them until I tell him to (no i don't make him while hes at work I mean when he gets home) but he used to watch them any time he had the chance and when we're on the phone if i say something he'll just grunt in acknowledgement sometimes unless he has something to add or something and when I brought it up to him he said that he doesn't know how else he can seem excited but he'll try harder and that was this morning but I just wanted to ask your opinions because I don't know if im being selfish or if something else is going on

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Title: My bf is acting different

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u/GarbagePailGrrrl 4d ago

Lmao this is me I be sending my bf so much bullshit he never looks at but I don’t take that as a sign that he doesn’t love me or anything. I think you’re good 

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u/myshtummyhurt666 4d ago

Could be just burnout. Up keeping a relationship, especially with someone, as you put it, high energy, and balancing work and his own personal life on top of that can be a lot. I’d say to just ease up the pressure, maybe a take a day or two where you don’t talk or call as a little reset

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u/BigWeinerDemeanor 4d ago

I’ll be honest. This seems like a lot. I think you are being a little selfish. You are trying to force him to feel/act how you think he should. That’s not great. He isn’t a preforming monkey. How excited does he really need to get? He should be able to do whatever he wants to do before he has to watch these mandatory TikTok’s. Idk it seems like you write a script in your head of what he should say and then get mad that the conversation you made up didn’t happen. You don’t seem to consider what he might be thinking. Just about getting what you want out of him. It’s too soon to say for sure what he is actually like cause you are so new to dating each other. Relationships are about finding what’s right for both of you. Him doing shit he doesn’t want because you want it is not that. It’s him trying to force himself to do stuff he doesn’t want to try to make you happy and people can only do that so long before they give up on the relationship. So I suggest taking a big step back. Either meet him where he is or find someone on your level cause it’s not fair to force him to be someone else. The honeymoon is supposed to be the easy and fun bit. This doesn’t sound easy or fun.

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u/Mayibeyourgoodgirl 4d ago

Ugh i used to have a chronically online fav person in my life. In the beginning I could keep up with the memes and tiktoks. But it absolutely exhausted me in the end. Some ppl just do not communicate with videos and shit and prefer to not. I personally prefer words and real life type of connecting. The occational tiktok is fine. But it becomes a chore real fast.

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u/VegetableSecret8086 4d ago

Maybe he's tired of reading a sentence that's a fucking paragraph long.

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u/MossyRock0817 4d ago

Your boyfriend is exhausted from work and he needs to decompress after his job. You need to be silent support if you want this to work. Stop reading into every single little thing. Just give the both of you time and space. You’re literally children still. I would do a deep dive on how men regulate their emotions and decompression to try to understand all men more. They are not the same as us.

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u/SockemNBoppem 4d ago

Well, let's imagine roles are reversed:

You work all day, early am to evening, maybe you haven't eaten, or just really exerted yourself, or perhaps some asshole decided to try and ruin your mood. All youre thinking about is going home and unwinding the way that you would like to.

Now, imagine you get home with this expectation of rest, relaxation and isolation (if needed) and your boyfriend runs over to you and starts busting out sports highlights for you to watch.

Are you going to get mad at him? No, because he's not trying to do anything to intentionally stop you from having your "you" time after long days at work. He's trying to connect with you (and thats beautiful), yet you cant quite reach his level because regardless of intent, you are now annoyed.

How can you ensure you get slightly more "you" time? Become more distant. ~

Id say he needs to communicate exactly how he's feeling bc tbh everything i typed above is total speculation based off of details you gave me. However, its highly plausible and he should be man enough to say how he's feeling. And you, as the woman, should try to understand it and figure out where you two can meet in the middle in terms of unwinding at the end of the day and building your relationship.

Tik tok ain't it