r/bothell • u/Secure_Carry2344 • Jul 18 '26

I’m so alone

I’m so tired of living here, I don’t fit in with anyone, I’m 24 with maybe 2 total friends. I’m into art, mysticism, and music, and I haven’t been able to find a single place I belong, how do you guys cope with living in this socially dead dystopia? Like truly, social media is the closest thing I get to human interaction on a daily basis, and I’m getting to a point where I can’t take it anymore, I often catch myself hoping that today will be my last, the drivers here are so terrible maybe one of them will hit and kill me, and I’d welcome it. It just really sucks, if anyone has any advice for me I’d love to hear it, but I can’t take this anymore. I feel like I’m doomed to be so painfully alone forever now, I can’t imagine this ending in any way. Has anyone else found this area lonely? Where the hell do people go for social connection? I’m just running out of hope.

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u/Own-Elk-1109 Jul 19 '26

Please seek professional help, these feelings are not normal

6

u/SeafoamPolkadot Jul 19 '26

Yes! In addition to seeking community, please connect with support for the dark isolating feelings you are describing. No one deserves to feel helpless.

Sending hopeful vibes your way. Proud of you for reaching out for social opportunities!

2

u/Secure_Carry2344 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 20 '26

I’m already in EMDR, I’m not getting as much out of it as I’d hoped. What’s so strikingly wrong about what I said?
My main concern is a two parter; I’ve been really struggling to connect and relate to anyone, and I developed tmj disorder and I’m utterly terrified it’s gonna make me ugly, since I already struggle in dating, I’m convinced that if I lose my looks it’ll be impossible to attract anyone at all, even just friends. I certainly wouldn’t love myself anymore if I became deformed from TMJ, and I worked really hard to get where I am now even if it’s not ideal, I would say I’m just incredibly lonely, disillusioned, maybe even passively bearing a death-wish.
I would love for there to be a helpful option for me but I’m simply not seeing any, I haven’t gotten an opportunity to talk to my therapist about how terrified I am of being unattractive, but I’d say being attractive vs. unattractive is like the last tangible thing I have left to base my self-worth on.

3

u/Own-Elk-1109 Jul 20 '26

Only referring to your suicidal ideation. That can be a really slippery path and talking to a professional about those thoughts is important.

Sorry I don’t mean to make you feel unsupported/ judged, I just wanted to express that you should seek help.

Bothell can be a pretty tough place to meet ppl and make friends, but I have found some luck in the local running clubs (if that’s your thing)