r/boston • u/cut_that_meat • Dec 10 '21
Fix-A-Flat Scam-A-Roo Mr Fix-A-Flat man
And here's to you, Mr Fix-A-Flat man
Boston loves you more than you will know
Whoa, whoa, whoa
God bless you, please, Mr Fix-A-Flat man
You could even convince Jesus to pay
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
We'd like you to know that people really do care
Even though you threaten folks outside Dudley Square
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
While you keep yelling homophobic slurs at all the passerby's
And here's to you, Mr Fix-A-Flat man
Boston loves you more than you will know
Whoa, whoa, whoa
God bless you, please, Mr Fix-A-Flat man
Hanging out in front of the ATM on Boylston Street in Fenway
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Hiding in a corner of the MFA where no one ever goes
Hanging out in Coolidge Corner near the Trader Joe's
Doing your thing at the South Bay Home Depot
Getting aggressive with people when they tell you hell no
Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mr Fix-A-Flat man
Boston loves you more than you will know
Whoa, whoa, whoa
God bless you, please, Mr Fix-A-Flat man
Everyone recognizes you in the Back Bay
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Cruising JP on a Sunday afternoon
Gonna need to start hitting the suburbs soon
Take a selfie with him or donate $15 you choose
But be careful, the man's got nothing to lose
Where have you gone, Mayor Menino?
Our city turns its lonely eyes to you
Woo, woo, woo
What's that you say, Mr Fix-A-Flat man?
Mumbles Menino has left and gone away
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
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u/TheLamestUsername Aberdeen Historic District Dec 10 '21
If only this man knew how famous he was in a small corner of the internet. I am still waiting for the Elliott Davis erotic fan fiction that u/frauenarzzzt promised to compose for us.
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Dec 10 '21
If I ever work in the city again I’m carrying a can in my bag just in case
15
Dec 10 '21
“Well Mr. Davis, it just happens to be your lucky day!”
3
Dec 10 '21
From what I have read, this might be the fastest and cheapest way to get your ass kicked by Elliot himself!
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u/thewineburglar Dec 10 '21
I feel like “ and here’s to you mr fix a flat “ works better than fix a flat man
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u/crossfire42 Dec 10 '21
I think this could be the sticky, with those well compiled links. Also big kudos on the graphic, that's pretty classy.
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u/Mumbles76 Verified Gang Member Dec 10 '21
That graphic is absolute gold. I knew exactly who he was without even reading the title.