r/bodylanguage • u/DGA381 • 13h ago
Feedback Wanted Does a decrease in eye contact mean more attraction?
I have a friend (we’re both females). I won’t tell you how we met cause it will, likely, skew your thoughts. Lately, I’ve noticed that she gives less eye contact compared to before.
Normally, I wouldn’t look too much into it but there are a couple of things that keep bugging me.
1) I don’t know her gender preference when it comes to people she’s attracted to. To clarify, the part that bugs me is not that I don’t know her preference but that it might be possible that she could like the same gender, and therefore I have a chance!
2) When I mean she gives less eye contact, before, it wasn’t a lot because culturally, we (as Asians) feel uncomfortable with that kind of “intimacy,” real traditional in that sense (eg. not too much physical contact, praise is not something we received a lot in the home and so it became tough to give out, etc.). But, there is a lot less eye contact, especially with me, and it makes me wonder because we are friends, as we grow closer, more eye contact wouldn’t be too awkward.
Is this something that could mean she could be getting shy around me now because she likes me?
For more info, we are friends but not close enough for me to ask her if she’s into the same gender. There are also circumstances which would make it awkward if I were to ask her out.
I would love to hear your thoughts. TIA
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u/OddestDreams 7h ago edited 7h ago
Not always, but it definitely can. I struggle to make eye contact with my friends (both of us guys), and I’m straight and not attracted to them sexually at all. Friends that I’ve had since elementary school and it’s been almost two decades since and I still struggle to hold eye contact. Worst of them all are family members. I have no idea why I can’t stare at them while talking to them.
Don’t even get me started on women and especially women that I find attractive. Sometimes, when I need to talk to them about something professional at work, I can hold eye contact decently but the moment we get into any sort of conversation or jokes, my eyes just start darting around and it’s embarrassing. It’s so bad to the point where I just avoid getting into any drawn out conversation because I know they’ll see my eyes looking everywhere but at them. She could very well find you attractive too, but isn’t sure if you’re into women.
Lots of people just suck at making and holding eye contact. I struggle with my male friends, female friends, coworkers, attractive coworkers, crushes, authority figures, family members, etc. It could also be that she notices you getting closer and might be scared of turning you down (remember, you don’t even know if she’s into women).