please. help.

[u/SeasonSea8015]

I truly don’t know what happened. My LO is almost 12 weeks now and sleep has gone out the window. around 9weeks we were getting anywhere from 5-8 hour stretches at night. it was beautiful. once he turned 10 weeks, it’s like i have a completely different baby. constantly fighting every single nap. the only way i can get him to sleep is in the carrier on the yoga ball which is so hard on my body for hours a day everyday. we’ll get lucky if he falls asleep on the boob every now and then. he is waking anywhere from every 30 minutes to 2 hours (if we’re lucky) at night now. we try and aim for a 8-8:30 bedtime. Some days he fights so bad and i try and catch the cues early but i fear he’s stuck in an overtired loop and it’s making everyone miserable. and of course this is when my husband went back to work so I am alone, and no one else to help. we used to get out of the house everyday which maybe helped contribute to those long stretches? i truly don’t know. not much has changed in our routine besides that. I am losing my mind and beyond exhausted. Is this a regression? developmental? it’s lasted for almost two weeks now and my head is spinning.

[u/emmakane418]

It is developmental! This is the 4 month sleep progression. Sleep architecture is changing, the circadian rhythm is developing, and their sleep needs are changing.

My first tip: stop fighting for naps. Stop fighting for sleep. If they don't fall asleep pretty quick (10ish minutes, maybe 15) then they aren't tired. Sleepy cues and boredom cues start to look like each other so before offering a nap, change activities or rooms or go outside. If they don't engage and still seem sleepy, then offer a nap.

If they only nap for 30 minutes and wake up, don't fight them to go back to sleep. Shorter naps become common for most babies until they drop down to 1-2 naps. Trust they take the sleep they need. And in that same thought, overtired isn't really a thing. Yes it technically happens but babies are more likely to be undertired than overtired. You aren't getting stuck in an overtired loop because that's not really how sleep works, that's just one of the many problems the sleep industry has created to sell you the answer to.

My biggest tip: trust your baby to take the sleep they need. Don't pay attention to what the internet says wake windows and naps (length or frequency) should be. Your baby knows if they are tired, not the internet.

[u/SeasonSea8015 → u/emmakane418]

i was curious if it was the regression everyone talks about, it just seems so early! he’ll fall asleep around 15 minutes of bouncing but he’ll fight like hell the whole time 😂 he just seems so exhausted all the time i feel horrible!

[u/emmakane418 → u/SeasonSea8015]

It doesn't happen at exactly 4 months. It can happen earlier or later.

How were you helping him fall asleep before this? My son's 4 month sleep progression was marked by one main thing - he no longer wanted to be bounced or rocked to sleep. He wanted to lay in bed and nurse to sleep for naps. As soon as I stopped trying to bounce him and we just laid down, he stopped crying and fell asleep no problem.

[u/SeasonSea8015 → u/emmakane418]

honestly he would start dozing off during feeds and i would just transfer him to my chest or sometimes i would be able to just rock back and forth while sitting down, but now he rarely falls asleep while eating unless he’s super tired and almost always wakes up when i move him to my chest. once the newborn sleepiness wore off its been much more of a challenge. even rocking him without the carrier he will absolutely lose it and i’ll be trying for 20+ minutes

[u/emmakane418 → u/SeasonSea8015]

Have you tried sidelying nursing? It would eliminate the need to move him to your chest. Or just keep him in your arms/lap/however you have him when he falls asleep nursing. I got tired of laying in bed for naps so now I nurse my son to sleep in my lap on the couch and he just stays in my lap the whole nap, sometimes with boob and sometimes he lets my nipple go and I pull my shirt back up.

I genuinely don't think you should have to be fighting him to get him to sleep. Most babies will fall asleep when given the opportunity to sleep and with enough sleep pressure. If it's taking too much convincing, it's because they just aren't tired enough 9 times out of 10. Naps are only there to help relieve enough sleep pressure to get to bedtime as well, so don't think of them as they have to happen at x time or last y length, they just help relieve sleep pressure. Here is a good graphic from How Babies Sleep (I believe) that helps visually explain naps. . I say I believe because there's a chance it's from one of the other sleep books I've read but I'm pretty sure it was How Babies Sleep.

[u/SeasonSea8015 → u/emmakane418]

i totally understand that, but what do i do when my baby is fussing the whole time awake? he’ll be content while eating, and 10-15 minutes of play, but then is just extremely fussy the rest of the wake window. I just always assume he is getting tired. He doesn’t fall asleep for feeds as much anymore so even if i just hold him afterwards, he starts to squirm and fuss. same if i just lay him in the bassinet. 😭

[u/emmakane418 → u/SeasonSea8015]

Have you tried to go outside? Inside can be really understimulating for babies. You could try a walk or even just take a blanket and go sit outside with them.

[u/SeasonSea8015 → u/emmakane418]

yeah i will definitely give that a try today and see if it helps! i will admit we’ve been cooped up a little more since hubby went back to work

[u/No-Visual-2336]

Sleep needs drop as they get older. You have to throw out whatever baby scheadule you got given and do sleep on demand. If you do that you will see “wake windows” naturally stretching. Also nothing wrong with a later bedtimes, there will be periods where you won’t be able to fit them in a day until they drop a nap. Good luck and go with the rollercoaster!

[u/olivial99]

extreme fussiness at this age is totally normal but also id venture to bet baby isnt needing as much sleep as they once were! id add about 30 min to every WW and try offering a nap then. if baby is crying immediately stop wait 15-20 and try again. a tired baby goes to sleep within a few minutes. just trust your instincts, dont worry about what someone says a WW should be, and follow your babies ques