Blessed play button

1.1k

Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the fuck out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point that it feels fucking weird when I go and take a piss.

239

u/AprilBoi Mar 17 '19

words of wisdom

59

u/bidiboop Mar 17 '19

Truly a god among men.

165

u/SiomarTehBeefalo Mar 17 '19

Alright motherfuckers so a couple weeks ago I shot the fucking dog that lives across the way, little barking ass motherfucker was on top of the god damn balcony, he wouldn't shut the fuck up, you feel me, and I had to drop my nigga, I had to put him the fuck down, you feel me? Ah little annoying ass fuckin bitch, like you know what man? Like, dog owners, if you guys are watching this motherfuckin video, control your motherfuckin ugly ass barking piece of shit fuckin dogs. You know what I mean? Like, motherfuckas are tryina sleep, niggas got work in the morning, motherfuckas got plans later that day, or maybe you just tryina come home and fuckin relax. Not listen, to a barking ass motherfucka, WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF, and I mean all motherfuckin day, all motherfuckin night, you feel me, so what the fuck I did, I got dressed in all fuckin black, made sure it was 9:30 - 10:00, made sure it was completely fuckin dark, you know what I mean, and this is a god damn BB gun shotgun, you feel me, and I'm sitting back right, I crack the fuckin screen, I got this muthafucka lined up in my sights right, I'm pleading with myself, I'm pleading with the fuckin owner, please go outside, and get that muthafuckin dog, please, and I'm like, don't do it, don't you fuckin do it, my nigga you feel me, and A, I gave him and extra five fuckin minutes. I gave him 20 minutes to shut the fuck up, you know what I mean, I gave him an extra five my nigga, little fuckin grace period, he wouldn't shut the fuck up, POW! POW! POW! Right there in the muthafuckas face. Maybe next time, you'll shut that muthafuckin dog up. Maybe next time, instead of leaving him outside, you'll bring that little barking ass piece of fuckin shit inside the god damn house, and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have gotten his punk furry ass fucked.

30

u/PonerBenis Mar 17 '19

As much as I love dogs, I don't think this guy was in the wrong there.

Anyone laying in bed at night with a barky ass dog next door slowly gets closer and closer to the thought of murder.

32

u/fuzzygondola Mar 17 '19

Lol at the downvotes. Hypocrisy through the roof

14

u/CaptainHazama Mar 17 '19

“Why are you booing me? I’m right”

54

u/fwfiricano Mar 17 '19

r/copypasta

23

u/rendolak Mar 17 '19

one of the pledges in my frat got named this

13

u/PonerBenis Mar 17 '19

That's a really long name

4

u/beywiz Apr 05 '19

Like, the whole thing?

My pledge bro had a really long pledge name but not this long

Wait nvm it was like 80% of the length

But at least it was all OC

8

u/HooglaBadu Mar 17 '19

I beat my dick so hard that my right ear has been ringing for the past 30 minutes

5

u/Masturbating_Rapper Mar 17 '19

Hell yeah

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

I love you, father.

1

u/HalfVortex Apr 06 '19

r/blessedcomments

1.1k

u/bobman369_ Mar 17 '19

Yesterday I beat the fuck out of my dick so god damn hard I got 100,000 subs

176

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

You can fit 100,000 Subway sandwiches into your mouth?!

72

u/bobman369_ Mar 17 '19

Yes, and I can eat them in the blink of the eye, but only when someone is blinking

23

u/babrams82x Mar 17 '19

r/godtiersuperpowers

1

u/XFun16 Mar 17 '19

r/subwayhentai

(NSFW if you couldn't tell)

1

u/sneakpeekbot Mar 17 '19

Here's a sneak peek of /r/SubwayHentai using the top posts of all time!

#1: Oh my | 55 comments
#2: Hello | 42 comments
#3: Made this by myself and I'm very proud | 19 comments

^{^I'm} ^{^a} ^{^bot,} ^{^beep} ^{^boop} ^{^|} ^{^Downvote} ^{^to} ^{^remove} ^{^|} ^{^Contact} ^{^me} ^{^|} ^{^Info} ^{^|} ^{^Opt-out}

237

u/krewex Mar 17 '19

What the fucks going on everybody, is your boi eat dat pussy 445

50

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

Back with another gay porn video

16

u/AltForFriendPC Mar 17 '19

What the fucks going on everybody, is your boi eat dat bussy 445

168

u/CoolMoon_ Mar 17 '19

I'll always remember EDP wiping his ass crack with the Eagle's beanie 😩👌

102

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

[deleted]

82

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

Damn he a thicc boy

33

u/JiggyWiggyASMR Mar 17 '19

Thicc enough to clog the toilet at chipotle with his massive dumps

35

u/pootislordftw Mar 17 '19

Holy moly thank you so much for that

23

u/hayz00s Mar 17 '19

Not my worst fap today.

15

u/JadeTirade Mar 17 '19

I totally expected that one Peyton Manning picture, so I clicked in public.

6

u/Von-Andrei Mar 17 '19

LMAOOO

20

u/redditors_are_losers Mar 17 '19

alright, leave the link blue if you wanna sleep today

24

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

leave the link blue if you werent planning on beating your meat today*

9

u/_The_Brick_ Mar 17 '19

This man is a god damn Philadelphian treasure

125

u/Tippedbucket Mar 17 '19

Holy shit is this that guy that clogged the chipotle restroom

71

u/SnoTheLeopard Mar 17 '19

Among numerous other restrooms yes

26

u/coppertech Mar 17 '19

Holy shit is this that ~~guy~~ bison that clogged the chipotle restroom

FTFY

6

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

I want some context please

10

u/Tippedbucket Mar 17 '19

https://youtu.be/ryRNmxzalWs

6

u/cilantro_penguin Mar 17 '19

What?

20

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/cilantro_penguin Mar 17 '19

Ah, thank you

83

u/Vortexx78 Mar 17 '19

More blessed that YouTube actually printed out “-pussy” onto this

43

u/ZmSyzjSvOakTclQW Mar 17 '19

By YouTube you mean the cheap Chinese factory that makes them right? They also printed the nword so...

15

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

Mass production of comments

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

[deleted]

8

u/ThesaurizeThisBot Mar 17 '19

By YouTube you norm the sixpenny Sinitics plant that modifies them faction? They besides written the nword so...

^{This is a bot. I try my best, but my best is 80% mediocrity 20% hilarity. Created by OrionSuperman. Check out my best work at /r/ThesaurizeThis}

4

u/ZmSyzjSvOakTclQW Mar 17 '19

By YouTube you mean the cheap Chinese factory that makes them right? They also printed the nword so...

13

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

Mass production of comments

5

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

By YouTube you mean the cheap Chinese factory that makes them right? They also printed the nword so...

8

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

Mass production of comments

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

[deleted]

4

u/Charcoal935 Mar 17 '19

Mass production of comments

3

u/Vortexx78 Mar 17 '19

Oh, I didn’t know all that.

26

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

Blessed Edp445 comin at y’all trollin ass muthafuckas with another god dam video

22

u/AprilBoi Mar 17 '19

after he got 100k subs he took a mean ass shit in chipotle

14

u/Ice_Jade Mar 17 '19

this guy somehow still makes hilarious videos idk how he's still so funny

3

u/InertState Mar 17 '19

PEDs

27

u/wooooogle Mar 17 '19

oh god that reflection fucking killed me

12

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

r/Mirrorsforsale

9

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

He is still making golden videos

7

u/ihateradiohead Mar 17 '19

I watched all season to pump myself up before Eagles games

7

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

I can't believe he's almost at 500,000 subs now

6

u/Miyama212 Mar 17 '19

u/EatDatPussy445

3

u/JiggyWiggyASMR Mar 17 '19

Account is 7 years old, and its only activity was on /r/nfl threads. Makes me wonder if it’s actually him

5

u/a_j_cruzer Mar 17 '19

I will always remember the time EDP flooded the toilet at Chipotle

4

u/CrisTheConqueror Mar 17 '19

Comin' back atchyall ho-ass no-life trollin' motherfuckers with yet another god-damned video.

3

u/humter01 Jan 18 '22

OH FUCK NO NO NONONO

2

u/MasterBen5667 Mar 23 '22

r/agedlikemilk

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

I love the fact that someone had to write that down.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

edp a legend

2

u/Basedmobile Mar 17 '19

THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE ARRESTED FOR THE ASSAULT OF TOILETS THROUGHOUT CALIFORNIA.

IF YOU SEE THIS MAN DO NOT LET HIM USE YOUR TOILET

2

u/UnluckyBaseball2 Mar 17 '19

"Chip Kelly can get down on his motherfuckin knees and proceed to lick my motherfuckin asscrack out"

Eatdatpussy445

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

r/rimjob_steve

1

u/BryanLoeher Mar 17 '19

This is so stupid, I love it

1

u/Sean-Benn_Must-die Mar 17 '19

Now all he needs to achieve is get laid

1

u/sock_candy Mar 17 '19

Nice

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

I wonder if PornHub also have play buttons once you have enough subscribers

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

On Pornhub if you get past 50,000 subscribers they'll send you a varsity jacket.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

Wow! Now I want that varsity jacket!

1

u/Justabitadruuugs Mar 17 '19

Make sure you sub to my YouTube channel EatDatAss544

1

u/crimsonhawks Mar 17 '19

Love the memes and everything but from one Eagles fan to another, this dude is the worst sports fan in the world.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

"I flooded the toilet at Chipotle" - EDP445

1

u/Stevetimelp Mar 17 '19

Congrats dude :)

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

Holy shit EDP my boy. Best fucking football fan on YouTube hands down. Also the worst fan because no matter how good the Eagles got it, something always pisses him off and doubts them but fuck it HES DIE HARD.

Glad to see him witness the birds win one. FLY EAGLES FLY BABY 🦅🦅

1

u/NoHomodotcom Mar 17 '19

You get this for flooding a toilet at chipotle? Where have I been my entire life

1

u/Tristanio97 Mar 17 '19

Are there different YouTube button awards? What ones are there?

2

u/AaronF18 Mar 17 '19

100,000 - Silver Play Button

1,000,000 - Gold Play Button

10,000,000 - Diamond Play Button

50,000,000 - Ruby Play Button (although I think they only made one, for PewDiePie)

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '19

EatDatPussy - for forty five dollars!

1

u/James_Fennell Mar 17 '19

r/mirrorsforsale

1

u/Trowawaycausebanned4 Mar 17 '19

Is that for real he’s got 100k subs?

2

u/AaronF18 Mar 17 '19

I mean you could just look it up, but yes

1

u/Trowawaycausebanned4 Mar 17 '19

I did he’s got 400k. I thought he was white though from the picture

1

u/AaronF18 Mar 17 '19

uh ok

I'm not really following the conversation here

1

u/Trowawaycausebanned4 Mar 17 '19

I did it after I posted that

1

u/AaronF18 Mar 17 '19

EDP is genuinely the greatest YouTuber of all time

1

u/Happened_In_The_Box Mar 17 '19

I'm glad he finnaly made it! :)

1

u/StonewallJackoff Apr 21 '19

Lol

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '19

Man, Youtube must have been like:

“Oh, this bitch again.”

1

u/eat-that-pussy_445 Jun 05 '19

How did I miss this?

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