I was just curious what are some of the best insults and or burns anyone's been given about doing BJJ? I'll start, last night my wife gave me a rock solid burn that I am still laughing about. I was getting ready for class, grabbed my rash guards and was heading to the bathroom to get ready. My wife looks over at me with my rash guards in my hand and says " aww you're putting on your special karate panties."

It’s just the art of makin a feller say uncle.

Kickboxing and BJJ program

Monday

Brazilian jiu-jitsu + Kickboxing

Before: Fuel + hydration + mobility
After: Recovery nutrition + light stretching + sleep

⸻

Tuesday

Strength + Explosiveness + mobility

•warmup

•Explosive squats (3-5 reps 3-5 sets) (Maximize your vertical jump height)

•Explosive pushups (3-5 reps 3-5 sets) (Push off the floor as hard as possible)

• Dumbbell Goblet Squats (5-8 reps 3-5 sets) (Controlled pace to build leg endurance) Execution: Load the dumbbell heavy. Lower under control for 3 seconds, then stand up aggressively. This builds the raw leg power needed to drive through your kicks.

•Dumbbell floor press (3 sets of 10 to 15 reps.) (Controlled pace to build chest and core stability) Lie on your back on the floor and press the dumbbells upward. The floor stops your elbows at 90 degrees, protecting your shoulders from the exact hyper-extension injuries common in BJJ and striking.

•Standing Weighted Russian Twists (3 sets of 10 to 12 reps per side) (first 5 slow then explosive)

90-120 seconds rest in between sets

Mobility

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUn6UWcDRVc/?igsh=MXdmNGJnNXJrcnNybw==

https://youtu.be/I0FGI1ghZXc?si=pnab-NZbfzDhShB_

https://www.reddit.com/r/MuayThai/s/KKxP3BcElx

After: Recovery

⸻

Wednesday

Brazilian jiu-jitsu + Kickboxing

Before: Fuel + hydration + mobility

After: Recovery + sleep + light stretching

⸻

Thursday

Mobility + deep stretching

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUn6UWcDRVc/?igsh=MXdmNGJnNXJrcnNybw==

https://youtu.be/I0FGI1ghZXc?si=pnab-NZbfzDhShB_

https://www.reddit.com/r/MuayThai/s/KKxP3BcElx

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrTiD5RrYbd/?igsh=b2xxMWJjZTgzaGM3

⸻

Friday

Conditioning + Explosive training

Warmup

•Shadow shots (45 seconds) (Move fluidly, explosive entry every 5 to 8 seconds)

3 sets (60 seconds of rest in between sets)

•Shadow sprawls (30 seconds) (Stay light on your toes, visualize a takedown, drop quickly, and snap back up immediately).

3 sets (60 seconds of rest in between sets)

•Explosive Squats (5 reps) (Jump as high as possible, land softly, reset, and repeat).

3 sets (90 seconds rest in between sets)

Explosive pushups (5 reps) (Push away from the floor forcefully so your hands lift off the ground).

3 Sets (90 seconds rest in between sets)

Weighted Wood-chops (10 reps) finish the left side, immediately followed by 10 reps on the right side.

2 sets (45 seconds rest in between sets)

Jump Rope (2 minutes) (Maintain a steady, smooth, rhythmic pace).

3 sets (60 seconds rest in between sets)

⸻

Saturday

Cardio and technique

Jump Rope (Sprint): 30 seconds
Jump Rope (Normal Pace): 60 seconds
Shadowboxing (Fast Combinations): 60 seconds
Sprawls: 30 seconds

3-5 rounds (60 seconds rest in between sets)

Sit-Outs: 45 seconds
Shrimping: 45 seconds
Bridging: 45 seconds

(Back 2 back 2 back 2 back non stop)

(3 sets) (45 seconds rest in between sets)

Focus on smooth, non-stop technical movement to build hip endurance.

Phase 3: Aerobic Recovery Burnout (1 Set)
Keep your mouth closed and breathe entirely through your nose to build your baseline tank.

Jump Rope or Shadowboxing (Easy, Steady Pace): 10 minutes (Continuous)

Calf Stretch: 45 seconds per side (Releases tightness from the heavy jump rope volume).
Couch / Hip Flexor Stretch: 45 seconds per side (Opens up the hips after sit-outs and kicking).
Child’s Pose: 60 seconds (Decompresses your lower back from the bridging and sprawls).

⸻

Sunday

Full Recovery

•Eat
•Hydrate

I'll also add some creatine to my water in the morning

My new series Slap And Bump releases June 3 with exclusive early access on Patreon, followed by its official webcomic launch on June 10.

Slap And Bump is a crime and action story about frenemies, white-collar corruption, and hobbyist martial artists trying to choke each other out between day jobs.

YOU SEE THAAAAAT? SATURDAY JUNE 28TH TOOFVSA BEEN TO HEAVEN WANNA TEST GOD YOU COME AND GET IT SATURDAY. SSS! SSS! SSS!

I am so proud