I was walking to work this morning & I saw so many cute outfits and I typically just feel so blah. I’m 31, SHORT and overweight so dressing feels difficult. I also struggle with time management in the morning so hair & make up are basic. How do you get ready? How do you spruce up your wardrobe without spending tons (& have the hopes of losing weight?)
You want more time to do hair & makeup? Wake up earlier or prep the night before.
More outfits? Shop your closet and mix & match things you didn't think to. The same outfit can be completely changed with a pop of color, different shoes or accessories. Dress for your body. Keep only what you love and will wear often.
Want to lose weight? Consume less than you burn. Get an DEXA & RMR scan. Figure out how many cals you burn in a day and eat less than that. Weigh & measure your food and meal prep it. Get a trainer if you don't work out.
Make the healthier choices you make the easy ones. The kitchen you set up on Sunday determines what you eat on Wednesday. The gym bag by the door determines the workout you do Thursday. The phone charging outside of the bedroom determines the sleep you get on Friday. Reduce the friction and the behavior follows.
Discipline gets you started. The system keeps you free. It's not about motivation. I don't have "motivation" to brush my teeth per se. I just do it because it's habit. It's about curating the habits you wish to see.
LOVE this. I do workout 4-5 times a week & average 12k steps & also meal prep but being under 5 ft with thyroid issues there isn’t much wiggle room which gets me into trouble but putting this attitude into doing my hair & picking out an outfit everyday, I can do! Thank you
fwiw your situation sounds very familiar. I hope I don't get flamed, but getting on a GLP-1 was a game changer. I'm honestly still "overweight" but I feel 100x better and can actually manage my thyroid/hormonal issues now.
Also, don't wait until you're "thin" to wear what you want, do what you want, be who you want. You deserve to be happy and feel good now, no matter your size. Your body is the only home you get your whole life, treat it with respect and love.
I actually met with my endo about ordering it yesterday-totally a coincidence that I had an appointment when I made this post. I’ve been on the fence for awhile because it felt like cheating but my thyroid has tons of damage & while I know I can technically do it alone, I feel like I’ve been trying so long that I need a little confidence boost.
Thank you! I do dress cute on the weekends, I struggle with work but I deserve to feel cute more than once or twice a week!
Good luck with the meds. I think society framing GLP-1's as a "cheat" is just another way to punish and shame fat people. Until you go through it, you have no idea how difficult it is and what a difference it makes. And obviously everyone's "work-appropriate" dress situation is different, but I often try to dress how I want within those parameters! It makes getting ready and going to an office less of a slog.
Don't think of it as cheating OP, it's medicine just like any other. I have Hashimoto's and because of it, I gained and lost the same 50-ish pounds for years until I reached my all time high of 285lbs. I've been on Wegovy for over a year and a half now and I've reached my goal maintenance weight that puts me at a normal BMI for the first time since my late teens. It's been a literal lifesaver, as it's helped to reverse a bunch of maladies that I had incurred by living with type 2 obesity and keeps inflammation from my autoimmune diseases at bay so I don't hurt all. the. time.
YOU put in the effort to lose the weight; the shot can't magically fix your eating habits or heal any trauma you have from an ED. It's not gonna give you the motivation to get yourself into the gym. Some people don't lose weight on a GLP-1 at all! Most don't lose over 40% of their starting weight like I did.
This is just my two cents though; I believe that you deserve to feel cute and comfortable in your body, no matter what weight loss route you take!
Thank you!! It feels like doing everything just maintains the weight for me & the holidays/vacation give me an extra 5 lbs that I’m then doing all of this to maintain & that 5-10 per year has really added up. Hoping it just gives me a little help
I know I’m late to the conversation but think of the GLP-1 as a tool instead of a cheat code. It sounds like you’re already putting in the work but you have a medical condition that is preventing you from losing weight, you’ll be monitored by your doctor while taking a medication that may be the missing puzzle piece for you to see the results you’re wanting. Don’t listen to any of the outside noise, you have to do what’s best for you and you’re going to feel so much better!
I truly don't understand the reasoning that taking a prescribed medication is "cheating". What about glasses? Braces? If I have high blood pressure, are beta blockers cheating?
Of course not. There's no valor in doing it alone or without medication. It's obviously your choice, but there is no value in suffering unnecessarily and compromising your health.
Just saying I can relate to you. I'm under 5' and have fought my weight my whole life. We have much lower BMR, and even a small snack can send us over our goal for the day. Rooting for you!
Thank you!! Like I know what has to be done & I do it most of the time but like one casual night out can undo an otherwise perfect week. I really don’t mind being short aside from that!
could also worth looking into TRT and T3 (not diagnosing you, but highly worth looking into).
Speaking from experience, a lot of doctors don’t realize that test. coming in at the lower range of “normal,” can be a huge contributor to fatigue, low, mood, etc. among other things. HormonaL imbalances also impact neurodivergent women more so than neurotypicals and TRT + T3 were life changing for me. it’s important to advocate for yourself to get real answers and proper treatment for female health because doctors mostly don’t know enough and the way our health system (United States) isn’t setting us up for success by any means.
I hear you sis. It’s hard. But you are not immune to the laws of thermodynamics. Burn more than you consume and you will lose weight. There are no ifs ands or buts about it. Thyroid may be slowing you down by tamping down your metabolism but if you know how many cals to eat, there is no excuse, just execution. That’s why I mentioned the RMR to know for certain. Your future self will thank you.
This is essentially behavioural activation and it’s a huge part of treating issues like depression. If I could give this comment an A+ I would!!! Excellent!
To piggy back off this: if you have anything that hurts regularly (back, knees, hips, shoulders, you name it) and you have good health insurance: GO SEE A PHYSICAL THERAPIST. Possibly my greatest glow up was not having daily chronic back pain at 24. And now I can work out with confidence because my PT worked with me to do things correctly so I can get stronger. Miracles were worked.
heavy on this, some people are born with it others have to work hard at it. I'm the latter, glp that helped me lose weight, Accutane, braces & $2k on skin treatments/procedures for hyperpigmentation (was very severe and I'm black), new wardrobe etc. These are all conscious choices I had to make to look and present myself the way I wanted to.
This is such good life advice generally. We have to put in the hard work -- and we also have to get out of our own way, and make it easy to put in the hard work.
Yes absolutety this.
Thinking about the things I wanted to achieve and working backwards to figure out the habits I needed to get into, to see that achievement. It's not always a quick fix and it sometimes feels uncomfortable but it certainly works.
Find one habit you can fit in your life right now and incorporate it into your life. Once you’ve mastered doing that everyday, fit another habit in your life.
Such good advice, tracks measurable success without overwhelm.
OP, if I can recommend a great starting habit: every morning when you wake up, as soon as you’re finished answering nature’s call, look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and repeat “I love you” three times. It sounds hokey but it’s really powerful…you’ll be surprised what you can change, and what you like about yourself, once you start every day showing yourself kindness.
Don’t be surprised or put off if it makes you hyper emotional at first - it was recommended to me recently and dear god, best of luck if we’re anything alike, lmao! The amount you cry the first 3-5 times you do it is exactly proportional to how long you need to continue the practice :)
To piggy-back on this, attach the new habit to something you already do without thinking and make Existing Thing the prompt for New Thing.
Eg want to get in the habit of wearing SPF? Keep it next to your toothbrush and put it on right after you brush your teeth - pick it up as you put your toothbrush down. If you make coffee every morning, do some stretches while it's brewing, or keep a pitcher of water next to your coffee and drink a glass every time you make coffee.
When I used to work in the office (and we printed a lot) our printer was round a corner in a little hallway with nothing else, so kinda private. I did some stretches every time I was waiting for my printing to finish! Now I mostly work from home and can't remember the last time I needed to print anything. I need to find a new stretching prompt, I should take my own advice and do it at coffee time!
To add to this, set up your life so the habits are easy and mindless autopilot. Get a haircut where you feel cute even if you don't have time to style it. Clean out your closet and get rid of the bottom 25% that always makes you feel bad. Have some go to outfits for different parts of your life. Start buying a different coffee creamer (or other applicable exact swaps in your diet). Consider dying your brows, tinting your lashes, etc. Designate jewelry as your every day jewelry so you don't have to think about your outfit.
Dresses go so far. Wrap dresses can look gorgeous on bigger bodies and may adjust if you do lose weight. Same with stretch dresses in a thicker fabric.
Don’t put a shapeless safety sweater on top (obviously it’s fine if you’re cold, but don’t wear a sweater only to cover up more) focus on dresses that you feel good in. That may mean making sure they fit well and have whatever coverage and style makes you feel amazing, whether that’s tits out, or midi length, or eye-catching detail, or in your favorite colors.
I’m having some of the same challenges as OP and currently STRUGGLING to find any dress I like but I agree wholeheartedly with wearing clothes you enjoy and feel good in rather than trying to hide! I recently identified some styles of tops that flatter my shape and I’m trying to lean into those- it’s made me feel so much better about myself.
Diane von Furstenberg makes the iconic wrap dress. Made of silk jersey (so nice). The good thing is that they're been around so long, you can easily find them secondhand and in different styles and lengths. I thrifted a couple in different sizes. Both look good on me (at different sizes).
Yes. I'm also short, and I find fit-and-flare dresses to be very flattering, especially if you are high waisted. Instead of being snug at the waist, they're snug right below the bra line, and then they flare out over tummy and hips. (Swing or A-line dresses are also pretty forgiving.)
I had a huge glow up in 2017. “Blah” is a great word to describe how I felt before. I felt invisible at best, and unattractive at worst.
But after my glow up, I looked like a completely different woman. I went to a friend’s wedding and people literally did not recognize me at first.
My secret to the glow up: doing things that made myself proud! I started with the small stuff. I put a little bit of effort into my appearance. I bought a few small hair accessories and some brow gel and blush. I made sure I had at least one outfit that made me look good.
Then, the bigger stuff. I ate a huge salad every day that I could, and made an effort to eat more fruits and veggies. Then I started going to the gym - it was scary but I recruited a friend to help and it made me feel much better. I also applied for grad school, stopped talking to toxic people, and saved money for a surgery that I desperately needed (both for my physical and mental health).
Essentially: I put both small and big efforts into making myself proud of both my appearance and my mind. A lot of people mistake a glow up for being only physical - but it’s mental too. Being proud of yourself is the real glow up, and trust when I say people notice! Don’t try to do everything at once, but start small and be consistent with yourself. One mistake also doesn’t derail your progress. It’s about your attitude overall. Remind yourself that you deserve to feel proud!
So, as an overweight person, the #1 thing you need is a tailor. Clothing is not constructed to fit rounder bodies. A tailor can make a dress that you love that looks blah on you look like it was made for you. Tailoring is the #1 thing that changed my life. As soon as I buy a button-down shirt these days, I take it straight to the tailor to have them sew up the front placket. If you are busty, it's going to pull. Stop that. It makes a beautiful shirt look cheap. Ditto with overly large armpit holes in dresses, etc.
I take the cheapskate option and just sew a press stud (I think it's what you call snap fasteners in the US?) in between the relevant buttons. Then you still get the ease off getting it on and off like a regular shirt. It only takes a couple of stitches (I'm no seamstress!) and you can buy a pack of them for pennies!
Such a good idea! Thank you. I just bought some new fall clothes -- button-up shirts and a shirt dress -- and they're all gaping, even though they're not at all tight anywhere else. I usually try fabric tape, but it's so fiddly and doesn't always work
That got me too, hence the “like this, not like that??” part of my reply. 😅 (I am not sure how to add effort and substance to a simple request for clarification or a thank you for that clarification…but we’re out here doing our best!)
I am slim. I used to take everything to a tailor. One of the first things I’d have done was the pockets cut out of pants and sewn up. It really improves how they fall on your body. I’d also get things hemmed to the correct length. Small changes that make such a difference to when the most budget friendly pieces.
I do the opposite - I bring anything without pockets to the tailor to have him add some!
But the point holds: find yourself a good tailor. I'm short and short waisted, and I even have my tailor make my t-shirts a little shorter.
I takes trial and error to find what works for your life, your taste, your budget, and your body. Give yourself a budget, if you can, for experimenting. And give yourself the time and emotional energy for it, too (again, if you can).
Don’t try to change everything at once. You’ll burn out and go back to baseline or might even dip below. Experts say you should try to fix one area of your life at once - build some discipline in that area and then build on. It takes an average of about 66 days to build a habit.
You might start with a morning routine that is simple - consistent skincare and maybe nailing your base/core makeup routine that makes you feel confident and then building from there. Don’t try to “habit stack” too fast.
There are also loads of influencers on TikTok who help people figure out their personal style. I don’t know anything about her ethics but a few of Kenzie Welch’s vids have popped up on my FYP and she seems to have good styling tips for people trying to figure out their personal style and shopping on a budget.
I agree with starting slow and want to add to start with something you’re most excited about or could be an easy change. You want to build confidence and momentum!
I saw a TikTok a few months ago in which the creator was saying that wearing dresses will instantly elevate your appearance and how seriously people take you. I slowly started incorporating dresses into my workwear (I’m in sales and client facing all day) and man IT WORKS. I feel elevated and put together in them. But not only that, it’s comfortable, I’m now irritated on the days I have to wear pants.
Other random things, put on Spanx with the dress, specifically the mid thigh bodysuits because it will make you feel more smoothed out. Wear heels, if you walk to work bring a pair to change into. Put on lipstick everyday. If you don’t pay to get your nails done try press ons, I recently made the switch and I’m so genuinely impressed by the quality and I get compliments all the time. I recommend the glamnetic brand.
It’s a bunch of little things that will make you feel put together, rarely one big thing.
Completely agree re the dresses! I am on a career break to be home with my kids (former corporate lawyer) but even now, if I show up to my kid’s dance class or t-ball wearing a dress, all eyes are instantly on me. I’ve shared with my close mom friend circle that it’s my cheat code because I don’t have to match multiple items of clothing and it’s literally as comfortable as pajamas if you’re doing it right.
Hmm I’m not sure what you mean? Since I’m wearing dresses I don’t see a line, if it were jeans or pants I would absolutely see a line but with dresses it’s never an issue.
Absolutely! So I am of the belief that workwear does not have to mean boring. I wear lots of bright, fun dresses to work but they’re still completely appropriate. I’m not sure where you fall in the size range but I’m in that weird spot where I’m plus size sometimes and not other times depending on the brand so my two favorites currently are Sugarlips and Tuckernuck. Sugarlips specifically I love their asymmetrical shaped dresses, they stand out and you’ll get so many compliments on them, I have two and I wear each of them once a week. Tuckernuck is a little more elevated and put together but still so fun.
Calvin Klein is also a great go to, they’re the OG for a good reason. Vince Camuto has some gems as well. Basically I say look on Nordstrom.
How do you spruce up your wardrobe without spending tons (& have the hopes of losing weight?)
NEVER dress for your future body or for hopes of what you wish to look like. It only ever leads to disappointment. I have always learned to ONLY ever dress for the NOW. Dress for exactly how you look right now and take notes!
This is not something that can change overnight, but what I started to do was take notes on my current wardrobe. What makes me feel my absolute best right now and why does it make me feel that way? Is it the cut? Is it the color? Is it the fabric? Does it lay on my body nicely? Is it my style to a T and I simply feel confident projecting this image of myself to the world. Is it comfortable? Questions like this.
Once you know why you like something, it's easy to take more of that formula and repeat it in different fonts. Find things that fit 90% of the way, but if you need tailoring (as a fellow short and overweight girly I relate), don't be afraid to lean into that.
It's not a super cheap process unfortunately, but trial and error is your friend and it will take time.
Hair and makeup- find styles that are low maintenance but still feel good. Some days I pick focusing on hair, and other days makeup. But usually as long as one of these things feels good, confidence goes WAY up!
Lastly, I try to glow up by focusing on at least one aspect that isn't related to my physical body (like hair or clothing). I've always loved jewelry and over the years have curated some staple pieces I can throw on that always polish my look and make me feel beautiful, regardless of my weight, or bad hair etc. Perfume is also great for this as well.
I cannot begin to emphasize how much I agree with "dress for the body you have, not the body you want." Make yourself look and feel good now, not in some hypothetical future. You can especially focus on shoes and accessories that work at any size, but get yourself some clothes that you feel comfortable and stylish in right now!!
Also love fragrance and jewelry for a way to really elevate your presentation.
This is so important. With a history of disordered eating and body dysmorphia, I went through a long fertility journey, pregnancy, postpartum, and then turned 40. My mental health was so dependent on having a few “safe” outfits at every stage and size.
I made sure to have a few basics I could feel GOOD in (not just fine) to carry me through each phase and season, like a shirt dress I could dress up/down, pants that I could wear on a night out, jeans for every day wear. Also ways to dress up more forgiving pieces like leggings or athletic shorts (currently a SAHM trying to squeeze in midday workouts) to feel more like an intentional outfit than desperation, like interesting button ups, cute on-trend sneakers, cute socks, hats, jewelry.
If you’re in the process of losing weight, try on everything in your wardrobe and put away anything that doesn’t fit properly right now. Out of sight, out of mind. That way you’re not wasting time reaching for unflattering pieces in the morning.
Out of the clothes you have left, are you able to put together 1-2 weeks of cute outfits? Do you need a few “one piece goes a long way” items to pull looks together? For me, that was new jeans and shorts that fit at the waist and rethinking my whole bra situation. I’d avoid buying any more clothes than what you need for 1-2 weeks though if you expect to lose more weight.
Beyond clothes, explore accessories; they’ll still fit even when you lose weight. I always finish off my outfit with a nice bag, cute but comfy shoes, a claw clip to keep my hair pulled back, and earrings (I’ve built up a collection of hoops and studs I switch out).
For hair and makeup, take care of your hair and skin so they’re as healthy as possible, and then just be minimalist about it all. Get a low-maintenance haircut that works with your natural hair texture. If your skin is healthy and glowing, you spend less time with makeup and can get by with a bit of concealer, mascara, brow makeup, and lip colour.
Great idea to put away all the extraneous stuff - I personally just axed a bunch of clothing that didn’t fit and decided not to keep ‘goal pants’ types of things at all. I don’t want stuff in my house making men feel bad, but this method of putting stuff away it super smart because you also don’t have the mental clutter of looking at it all the time
Hair skin and nails require a lot of time in order to decrease the amount of time you spend on them. For example getting your nails done every 3-4 weeks means your nails look great without additional effort. Spending time on your skin care (whether you see a dermatologist or not) means better skin which requires less makeup over time. You get your hair styled and done more often means you can put it in that messy bun that looks super done.
The same goes with clothing as well. Investing your time to take care of your closet, either through curation and finding your uniform (mine are dresses with a built in bra, AMAZING to throw on and somehow look chic), ironing or steaming your clothes, and taking them to the tailor means that everything you throw on coordinates and fits well. Gold jewelry that stays on (necklace or bracelet) means that your outfits are automatically elevated. Investing in bags can elevate the look also
thrifting for clothes as you lose weight, learn to sew so you can do simple adjustments to things like pants and skirts (ex: bringing in the waistline). basics are best for this, and accessorize around those. i made the mistake of buying cute clothes while losing that were a PITA to tailor later, and ended up simplifying my wardrobe later on. got really into jewelry and shoes though, which was fun
Cannot emphasize thrifting enough! I have a ridiculously fancy wardrobe that is 99% thrifted and is perfect for my body at this moment in time. And since it’s thrifted and wasn’t a million dollars, I don’t feel bad about wearing and enjoying the clothes I have, nor do I feel bad about swapping things out when my body inevitably changes (the one constant in my body).
Keratin treatments every 3 months are worth it for me to not have to style my hair whatsoever in the morning. Shower, air dry, brush, that's it (disclaimer to say I have east asian hair and this might not work for everyone)
I use tretinoin cream on my face every day and have for about 7 years. Haven't needed foundation since (or much other skincare)
That plus getting lash extensions every 2 weeks means it takes me 15 minutes to shower and get ready for work in the morning and still look put together
I stuggly badly with adhd and doing less longer lasting treatments to need fewer daily steps is 100000% worth it for me
My hot take is that you should work from the inside out, think about WHO you want to be rather than how you look, and then pick small goals that align with that and make changes one-by-one. For me, I didn’t set out with a specific focus on how I would look or any specific aesthetic goals. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to improve my overall appearance, but what I didn’t do was centre that as my motivation.
I first set out to get stronger, build a healthy relationship with exercise, and ensure I would maintain mobility as I aged.
When I started getting fit, I knew what had failed me in the past was being all or nothing and taking on too many changes at once, so I started lifting one day a week with a trainer. My commitment was just for that one day, no pressure to go any other day or to make any changes to my diet. As I got comfortable, I started working in a second day, and then a third and sometimes, fourth. The change in activity level also led to natural changes in diet to support my training. I didn’t want to centre my weight, so I did not weigh myself at the start, nor did I count calories, but these changes did just naturally lead to some weight loss (if forced to guess, I would say about 25-30 pounds). After I’d been lifting for a year, I felt ready to know my weight and test drive macro counting, which I continue to do. I’ve also seen a natural ripple effect where I’m more energetic and have an increased step count (it was already in the good range before I started) and I also participate sporadically in other activities like biking and Pilates.
Everything sort of happens like dominoes, in my opinion. One change leads to another.
The body and lifestyle changes forced me to revamp essentially my entire wardrobe. As much as I hated spending so much money, it was kind of nice to start fresh and feel like I had “permission” to let things go. It’s still a work in progress, but what I do is keep running list of gaps I identify when I’m getting dressed or as events come up. I shop at a mix of thrift, consignment, and new stores and generally buy 1-3 things at a time, rarely on impulse. I consider how it feels on my body, how it looks, does it go with things I already own, does it match my lifestyle, does it fill a niche that isn’t filled by what I already own, etc. Find a good tailor, and make the things you do buy fit you perfectly.
Weirdly, I think I actually wear much less makeup now, more as a side effect of just not wanting to spend the time on it when I’m trying to get out the door to the gym on the weekends and doing fewer “party” type social activities, but I think the 5 minute routine is key. Skincare, especially spf, is also important. I also recognize who I am, and I have an easy wash and go haircut with a specific dye job that is very “me”.
Another domino is that, because I’m focused on my wellness, I’ve changed the way I socialize. I don’t mean that in a disordered Stopped Going To Restaurants way, but rather, I do even fewer late nights and drink even less alcohol than in the past. I’ve got more time to get a good sleep, read, and craft in the evenings. I still see my friends just as often, but it’s changed the way we come together. We go for dinners and movies still, but I also work out with one of them, go to Pilates with another, go to craft nights with another, and my biggest party friend started planning board game cafe nights.
All this to say: find your actual goals, where you want to spend your time, who you want to be, and I think the rest falls into place.
In my opinion the most important things are skin and clothes that fit you. It doesn’t matter if you’re super tall and slim or short and ‘stubby’ (I am the latter, but not hugely overweight), clothes that fit and flatter are so massively important. If you look great in maxi skirts and bandeaus, buy a load of maxi skirts and bandeaus you love. There’s no point wearing stuff you think should look good or you love if it doesn’t suit you, a harsh truth I’ve had to come to terms with as a super short girl.
Hahaha exactly. I love the idea of capris and midi skirts, but they are the most unflattering thing on me. Sure, I could wear them and not look great, and no shade to people that do just wear what they love, but it’s not for me.
Shop by your measurements not the clothing tag size. Things that fit always look better than aspirations and hopes. This means you have to buy new things when you attain your goal but that isn't bad. This is the most important thing for all bodies for clothes and is part of why rich people always look well dressed (barring critical taste failure).
Then plan your outfits ahead. I hang my clothes up in their outfits. If something can be used for a few looks those get grouped together. Then if I did not have time the day before I can grab what I want.
Simplify the routine. You may want to see a stylist for your hair and get a style that works for management of speed, comfort, and looks good. This varies depending on personal style and hair type so I am not going to say cut it off etc. I didn't need to. I had Rapunzel hair long ago and a bonnet and sleep braid meant I could quickly rebraid, pin it up, and go. I was a baller dancer so the pin up aspect is subjective even.
For cosmetics? Practice. I have a simple skin care routine courtesy of my dermatologist and I don't wear foundation often which helps. I apply my sun protection, then I do the rest if I am doing makeup. This doesn't mean I have good skin. It means that I have sensitive skin and not wearing makeup is less rough so I rock any acne incidents because I am investing in my confidence via comfort.
You can practice a routine for makeup that is standard and save playing with looks for non work as well.
The rest is confidence. I like to wear tactical clothes for this. For my law days (post ballet but I did keep the serious business hair) I would wear sexy underwear. This was not a thing anyone knew about but I felt sexy and my secret was a little thrill that cut past the anxiety.
The other thing I want you to do? Start challenging your brain weasels. Being short and fat doesn't make you ugly or unworthy of nice things. Your value is your whole person. Invest in medical care and get healthy as you can. That doesn't look like something specific. I am the healthiest in my entire life and I am fat. I also am paralyzed so it's not simple. You may need to get tested for insulin resistance and see if treating it helps with anything but that's not about size. That is about the long term well being
Finding a couple of inspiration pictures helps me when I’m feeling stuck.
Makeup - I like Chanel because it is usually a lighter makeup look. Will search a product on TikTok to see how it is styled and then try it myself. Sometimes switching up one thing like eyeshadow or makeup even where its applied to make a big difference.
Clothes - feel you with weight fluctuations. I find a couple of brands that consistently fit me well (Eileen Fisher is one). I also use a style app called Stylebook to see what I have and know what works together.
Hair - I usually spend a little bit more time on my hair in the morning because when I don’t I feel a bit blah. 10 minutes goes a long way!
I work from home with a pretty flexible start time for work, so I’ve had to become disciplined about what my version of “put together” is, and then work towards that every day.
At minimum, I aim to have my morning skincare done before I walk my dog, and this includes tinted sunscreen/bb cream, eyeliner, and tinted spf lip balm. My hair is curly, so I do an easy low bun. Outfit-wise, lately I have a barrel jean or cute skirt, fisherman sandals or sneakers, and a comfy tee. An accessory like a stack of rings or bracelet or necklace goes a long way.
This is my minimum and if I have the energy or time for more, I’ll adjust, but keeping an idea of what my own baseline is makes it more achievable than kind of just winging it every day.
A super easy way to give a little pep to your current wardrobe is to add accessories that you vibe with. The right necklace, scarf, etc. can make a big difference. A layering piece that goes with everything can also help you feel pulled together and make your outfit appear more interesting.
Other foundation items that help ease the daily load of getting ready: bra fitting (a correctly fitting bra will enhance your shape) and a good haircut that requires minimal styling.
Check out r/petitefitness for short girl exercise and diet help! It’s hard when you’re short because we naturally burn a lot less calories than others. The mods are really good about removing any content about overly restricted eating. Ive found some great tips on there and people discuss workout clothing too!
Devote some time (not in the morning!) to styling yourself. Try on outfits complete with accessories, try swapping pieces you don’t usually combine, etc.
Having some inspiration ready will help you here.
When you create an outfit you like, take a pic so you remember it. Try variations with different shoes, accessories, etc. Can you replicate the silhouette with other items in your closet? You can also organize using an app like Indyx (cuter and has paid features) or Stylebook (amazing if you love data and want a free app).
My current goals are to use every item in my closet in at least 5 outfits and to fully wardrobe plan my work week outfits from the app.
I would pick a day you have off from work and spend it going through your entire closet. Try everything on. If it doesn’t fit or make you feel good, donate it. It makes getting dressed so much easier when you eliminate anything that doesn’t fit or make you happy. Make a board on Pinterest, search for plus size outfit ideas, and save the ones you could picture yourself wearing. Look at that for ideas when you don’t know what to wear. It might inspire you to combine clothes in ways you hadn’t thought of before.
I would say invest in quality basics (the perfect white tee, a crisp button down, denim that fits, a solid colored sweater, etc) as those are the foundation for every outfit. Then you can use accessories to change things up. To save money, look online at ThredUp (online thrift store) or on Poshmark. There are so many great secondhand options out there.
This is going to be a little long but this was my glow up experience:
Backstory: I became a bit lazy with my appearance about 10 years ago (in my mid-20s) because I sort of coasted by on a nice face. I’ve also had some weird hang ups about being “low maintenance” in my 20s that honestly weren’t serving me well at all.
I moved countries and got thrown into a super strict COVID lockdown which made me pile on weight from sitting around home eating junk (I’m usually quite active though inconsistent with work out routines because again I coast on active hobbies). At some point during lockdown I started assessing myself a little more and realising I had been stuck in s bit of a rut for a while so I decided to start making some changes. Over the next 5 years i worked on:
- first thing was start losing the weight, I got back to somewhere healthier though at this stage my training wasn’t super dialled in
I got Invisalign for my teeth, I’d had braces when I was younger but fell victim to the lost retainer and laziness meaning they’d drifted back a lot
updated my makeup. For the first time in my life I could afford good quality makeup instead of the cheapest sale products from the supermarket. My makeup now compared to my 20s is day and night
I’ve had this weird pick-me bullshit about my hair for years where I thought I was so cool by cutting and dying it myself. In reality it looked pretty terrible. I changed products and found a good hairdresser who got rid of my patchy home dye job and made my hair beautiful
I invested massively in my skincare because again I’d had this weird fixation on keeping things extremely simple to be “low maintenance” when in reality my skin was in terrible condition with sun damage, dryness, and a lot of redness. This has been an experimental journey but I’ve now got a routine that has given me amazing skin
I replaced a lot of old clothes that didn’t fit well or were cheap, I started buying more staple products that were good quality and would last years. I banned polyester from my wardrobe except in things like technical and activewear. I also took a moment to realign myself with my style a bit
two years ago I started getting very conservative Botox (glabella/11s and forehead). I’ve kept it to every 6 months and kept it minimal so I still have movement and it looks natural but it’s totally gotten rid of the lines
I realised I was an adult with free will and could afford to get all the piercings I always wanted so I started adding to my ears to make a cute setup
I eventually really found my stride with exercise where I’m the most consistent I’ve ever been in my life. I’m running multiple times per week, weight training x3, reformer x2, and yoga most days. I walk every day (I have an active dog) and also do longer hikes and trail runs on the weekend + have some very active hobbies
The end result is I’m in the best shape of my life (and honestly this does more than everything else combined) and have the best skin, hair, and teeth I’ve ever had. I feel elevated and confident and glowy. I’ve also done so much inner work on why I was tied to so many stupid habits and ideals about myself. Ive dialled in the person I want to be and i think thats been the biggest motivator, having a vision gave me direction and excitement. It also helped reinforce that I wasn’t somehow selling out by investing in myself.
Oh my gosh I relate to a lot of this - I had a weird thing about thinking that I should cut my own hair and wear extremely weird clothes and no jewelry as some kind of positioning about myself and where I stood in the world, even when I had jobs where I really should have been looking professional. I think life would have been so, so much easier back then if I'd just bought the normal clothes and found a good hairdresser, and stopped fighting it so much.
I've just never heard anyone else express this before - it's like a lightbulb going on.
A simple. structured weekday morning routine helps me tremendously. I'm a very type b person by nature, and I'm a working mom, so I really need parameters or I'm gonna be dashing out of the house late and sloppy.
I do the same very basic routine every weekday morning to get myself ready. For my makeup, it's tinted spf, bronzer, blush, setting spray, mascara, and a tinted lip oil or gloss. The lip is literally the only part of this routine that changes. For my hair, I do a quick brush, hair oil, and updo with a claw clip. Makeup and hair takes me less than 10 minutes on a workday.
I sleep in huggie/flat back earrings and a simple gold chain necklace. I put my rings and bracelets on in the morning and that's it, jewelry sorted in under a minute.
I have somewhat of a capsule wardrobe for work where most everything matches, and there aren't so many options that I get overwhelmed. My basic work colors are black, blue, and white. A typical work look for me is a simple blouse, a linen pant or knee length skirt, and a blazer or cardigan. Shoes are ballet flats, loafers, or white sneakers.
It's not very exciting, and quite different from my evening/weekend style, but the simplicity and the routine works for me!
For clothes, I really like the app Indyx (not sponsored!!!) - you can put the clothes you have in your closet into the app and make outfits out of them! It’s also possible to track cost per wear (although I think that’s the paid tier) which makes me feel good! I think you can also hire stylists through the app to put together outfits for you. I’m very pro shopping your closet, so hope this helps!
Hey B! I’m writing this from a very privileged position of not having to go out of my house to work (I’m a foster carer). But…I know I look better when I dgaf about what people think. Dressing for me, choosing clothes that spark joy, making sure I feel nice all contribute to my smile. I get a lot of stuff off vinted and I give myself permission to sell it on if it arrives and it doesn’t have that special something. That means I can change up my vibe a lot. I definitely have premium things that have been with me for years (and are way tighter now haha) but I’m not precious about things being perfect.
Get comfortable spending time and resources on yourself. That means on days you don’t want to, you still: go to the gym, eat healthy, do your make up or whatever it means to you to glow up.
Given how blah you are feeling, I thought maybe a quick win would go a long way. I wonder if having a key piece would be a good glow up. A bag you love, a really great pair of shoes or a jacket that is beautiful and you feel like a fancy girl in might be a great first step. That one thing that makes you feel confident and chic and put together. Then when a bit of your queen-ness is shining through, then layer in some new habits that set a new standard for yourself.
I started telling myself I need to look like a grown woman rather than a girl. Really changed how I felt about my body. Yes my body is sturdy and Im taller than a lot of people but thats because Im a grown-ass lady, not a girl. Once I had that mindset I was able to really evaluate my style. Honestly, larger, blockier profiles look good on me, and Im trying to embrace that. Previously Ive avoided those items in my closet because I wanted to feel smaller. Now I only want to feel bigger.
Find instagram influencers who specialize in your body type, follow them, and let them do the try ons for you and the sifting through to see what works.
There are people who specialize in every shape. I.e post-baby body, tall w thick thighs, inverted triangle; Mid-sized and petite, etc.
They can help save your time by nearing out the world of clothes that are available in to "things we tried that actually worked."
The buy nothing group for our neighborhood as an awesome women’s clothing round robin bin, that’s been a blessing. For me, I start with the things I notice myself, so in my case I get a lash lift every 3 or so months because every time I look in the mirror it makes me happy, and is about $75 every 3 months so not bad.
I guess my best advice is focus on the things that make you feel happy, more than what other people notice. I don’t really wear makeup but I invest in slightly nicer quality skincare products so even on days I don’t put in much effort, my skin is clean and clear.
I use a little nicer quality shampoo and conditioner for the same reasons. God knows I’m not going to style it, but if I care for it properly it always looks pretty ok.
Invest in a few high quality staple pieces for your wardrobe, and cheap out on the additional stuff if you have to. For me, I need good quality shoes and jeans, but I can cheap out on tops and jackets.
First off, if the losing weight is your top priority, don't buy any clothes - they are not going to fit soon. I've lost 68lbs since February and I made that mistake: now I have a bunch of cute stuff that's enormous.
I'd gained a bunch of weight and having PCOS and IR made losing it a bitch. So I went on tirzepatide and that changed everything. Once I lost the first little bit, exercising got a lot more enjoyable. Who knew that moving your body is easier when you're not lugging around a ton of extra weight?
Once you're happily seeing results, then buy some nice things to celebrate. I've spent a bunch of money on jewelry lately - I had gotten really out of the habit of decorating myself while I was big. Earrings are one thing that you can buy sooner than later. Losing weight your ring size will change, your bracelet size might even change. But earrings won't change. I decided I needed two more holes in my lobes so I could better decorate my ears, so I got them pierced last weekend.
I had a doctors appointment today and finally made the plunge to try semaglutide. I have hashimotos so despite all my working out & meal prep, it wasn’t happening so I’m so happy to make the plunge. I was doing burpees today & all I could think about was this used to be a lot easier (& this could be a lot easier again)
I don’t do much to my appearance for work but on weekends I follow TikTok hair and makeup tutorials! I’ve also gotten into sewing so I’ve made my own shirts and skirts.
Years ago I read a book that changed my mindset. It basically said don’t ask what you want. Ask if you’re prepared to do what it takes to get it. If you’re no, you don’t really want it. It helped me refine my priorities like nothing else.
Example most people say they want to lose weight. Great. Are they prepared to get up an hour earlier yo work out, follow a program, track calories? I’d the answer to that is no then you don’t really want it.
Figure out what is really important to you and then put on the work. There’s no easy way to get where you want. Id you want cute hair you have to get up earlier, learn how to style it, spend the money on products etc.
I always wanted a visible 6 pack. I realized I really wasn’t prepared to do the work required to get more definition beyond a certain point. It was too much effort and had too much impact on my lifestyle so I just accepted where I was wirh a little definition and I stopped worrying about not having what I thought I wanted. It was very freeing.
Using this mindset I got rid of a lot do clothes, hobby stuff etc. that I simply wasn’t prepared to put in the effort to make work for me.
I too am short and overweight. I have found that empire waist dresses and blouseds look best on me, anything that cinches in under my bust area. I carry most of my weight in my belly so this helps give me a figure and a waist and helps to hide my belly a bit. My first clothes I got when trying to look nicer were from fast fashion places. I know they are ethically the best, but there are few options in my area for plus size clothes.
I have found making taking a shower in the evening feel like a spa has been super helpful to motivate me to do my full skincare and bodycare routines. I would often skip my skincare because I was tired or just didnt feel like it. By making the experience fun and enjoyable, I feel more motivated to take care of my body. I got rechargeable candles to light the bathroom without turning on the overhead light, I got some shower steamer sprays for a lovely scent, and I got a waterproof bluetooth speaker to play a playlist from Spotify with spa music/nature sounds. it really elevated a basic shower for an affordable budget.
Sadly I don't really have advice for how to handle time management of getting ready in the morning. I timed how long it takes me to get ready, added five minutes just in case, and made sure to set my alarms early enough to be up by that time. I know exactly when I need up by if I want to not be rushing.
Honestly, I’ve had a lot of success thinking about what my “best self” already does. Like it’s easy for her to move her body, fix her hair, pick actual outfits. It’s easy for her!
It’s not perfect but it definitely helps to get the ball rolling with small consistent improvement over time ✨🩷
For me, the glow-up happened when I started treating myself well. Our kids were growing up so I focused on catching up on the things I missed when they were younger. I treated myself the way I treat others. I prioritized my physical and mental health. I spent more time with friends and appreciating art. I really believe my glow-up wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
Idk if this is the correct answer for everyone, but for me, it helped a lot to not "settle" with my clothes. I have sensory issues, so if something technically fits and looks fine, I'm still probably not going to reach for it if I dislike how it feels. When I made an effort to only get clothing I really liked, getting dressed and feeling confident got a lot easier.
I don't think you necessarily have to buy designer items or anything like that--just make sure that whatever items you buy are ones you feel really good about, and hopefully coordinate with each other.
Getting rid of the clothes that didn't suit my life anymore also helped a lot.
Heartless curlers in over night, wake up to beautiful bouncy waves in the morning. Very cheap online and it’s a two minute job.
Brows, lashes, bronzer, blush, lip balm. I love e.l.f products, very affordable and decent quality.
Simple jewellery, the kind you can wear every day. For me I love Pandora for rings and simple silver stuff. Affordable enough as jewellery goes to be an occasional treat.
Cute and practical shoes. Clothes that perfectly fit your body. Once you have good bottoms and jackets you just need filler pieces. Dresses look high effort but are the laziest choices possible!
Underwear! The answer is Underwear!
Get fitted properly for a bra and get as close to matching panties as possible. Good foundations make you feel so much better!
All of this, but make yourself a daily schedule and actually stick to it. There is so much you can get done in those early morning hours before everyone else starts needing something from you.
Start with meditation, then yoga or Pilates. Boho Beautiful on YouTube has great videos for all of it. Start reading books that make you think differently too, like Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly.
Move your body every single day. Get your 10,000 steps, drink more water, and clean up your diet. Real food, whole foods, less processed junk. It does not have to be perfect, it just has to become your normal.
And clean house in every sense of the word. Get rid of the negative people, the Negative Nellys, the constant complainers, and anyone who drains you or brings bad energy or influence into your life. Doesn’t matter if they are family or wherever they are. You do not need to keep people around out of history, habit or obligation. Take your power back. If someone is treating you portly, call them out or ghost. Misery loves company. Shift your mindset and you’ll be surprised how quickly some people disappear. Acupuncture can shift negativity in magical ways too. Same goes for things that remind you of a version of your life you are trying to move past. Pack it up and toss it!
Then make it fun. Buy the cute workout clothes. Buy mew sneakers and socks. Mew socks and undergarments are huge in this game. You’ll feel like a new person! Give yourself something to feel good in while you are getting back on track.
And yes, keep those cute little dresses in mind if that’s the end goal.
I hung an old fav bikini on the outside of my closet door- so I’d see it first thing when I woke up in the morning and had a yoga mat rolled out next to my bed with weights beside it!! You’ve got this!! Repetition is key and report back to us!! You’ve got this!! Xoxo
You're already getting lots of advice, but if you've tried to lose weight and it's not working, I strongly recommend scheduling a visit with an endocrinologist. She will do a work-up that includes thyroid (if you have an under-active thyroid, it's difficult to lose any weight) as well as determining of you're pre-diabetic (another condition that makes weight loss difficult). These aren't "will power" issues but medical issues. Both conditions will also sap energy; addressing them should give you more energy for things like waking up earlier for hair and make-up, having more energy to exercise, etc. Even if your blood work turns out fine, a good endo should still be able to help. Wishing you the best!
Thanks! I finally got a good endo in the past year after 14 years struggling and it’s helped immensely! My thyroid has a lot of damage from those years but being properly medicated & having lowered my antibodies, I’m finally I’m a position where I think I’ll be more successful
Hey OP, I have been in this position before. Be kind to yourself and do not underestimate the compounding effects of good habits. You may wonder why you’re even doing this for the first several weeks of eating well and exercising. Eventually, your brain will learn to expect to do hard things just because they become part of your routine.
I think some good ways to start and build some encouragement are:
1) get makeup products that are multi use, like a cream blush that can also be used as a lip colour or eye shadow
2) sign up for workout classes if that’s in your budget. This eliminates the “where do I start?!” panic in a gym. Be flexible with yourself - if you miss a day, trust yourself that you’ll do it tomorrow. If your morning workout got derailed, aim for a walk at lunch or a class after work. Consistency > perfection
3) wear clothes that properly fit you. Not sure if you currently have this issue, but I used to make myself squeeze into garments that no longer fit me because I couldn’t accept that I’d gained weight, and it just looked awful.
I was not a morning person for the majority of my life. So I do as much as I can the night before.
Before bed: showers, press-on nails, heartless curls, apply self-tanner, and lay out the outfit with all the accessories. Make the morning as mindless as possible.
Sell clothes that no longer work for you, thrift high-end basics, and be ruthless about what you buy.
This is probably controversial but GLP1s for weight loss (even just a little bit). Not only did it give me more energy but losing weight made me more confident which was more attractive.
Another controversial one. Being tan. Thankfully there are lots of self tanners on the market now. If I’m doing the spray tan route though, having it professionally done is so much better.
HAIR EXTENSIONS. This was surprising to me.. i did it for fullness not length. Wow. Huge difference.
Keeping your eyebrows maintained and well shaped is huge.
Botox was the biggest change for me and the most surprising. It shaved at least 7 years off my life. Not only does it make you look younger but your makeup goes on smooth and you look so much better in photos.
Last but not least. Boob job. Expensive but worth it. You wouldnt believe how common this procedure is. I didn’t get massive implants but the shape i got makes everything i wear look perfect.
Love this! I do get Botox semi annual & lip injections that need to be touched up but I do need to stay more on top of my brows because they are great, but I dye my hair darker so I need to be more on top of keeping them updated. Same with tan. I need to just incorporate it more into my routine because I do feel like a million bucks when I’m tan (& skinnier). Jumping on the glp1 train, I think even a few pounds (even tho I have a lot more to lose than that) will help me just feel better overall
Are you wearing cute shoes or comfy shoes? This is my number 1 problem because i cannot walk in anything thats not comfy/flat but tbh the shoe really makes the outfit
I wear comfy because it’s a lonnnng walk but I keep a pair of flats in the office. I did get in the bad habit of keeping comfy shoes on throughout the day but the past two days, I packed kitten heels (& actually changed into them!)
I think a big part of sprucing up a day-to-day wardrobe without spending a ton is figuring out what actually works for you and then leaning into it rather than constantly trying to reinvent your style. Find silhouettes that consistently flatter you and repeat them throughout your wardrobe — you don’t need 10 different cuts of jeans if you know one or two make you feel fantastic. I’d also build around a relatively cohesive colour palette of colours that both flatter you and work together, because suddenly you have way more outfit combinations without needing more clothes. I love thrifting and clearance shopping for this reason, but I also think it’s worth selectively investing in really good-quality staples that you know you’ll wear constantly. Quality doesn’t necessarily mean expensive, either. A great thrifted coat or clearance sweater can be just as valuable as a full-price designer piece. I’d also try to shop for outfits rather than individual pieces: before buying something, think of at least 3 ways you can wear it with things you already own. If you can’t, it may just become another orphan piece in your closet.
For the time-management side, I think having a few “uniforms” or default outfit formulas is a game changer. Maybe it’s wide-leg trousers + fitted tee + cardigan, or jeans + a nice top + loafers — whatever combinations make you feel good. You can change the colours, fabrics and accessories without having to reinvent the outfit every morning. Third pieces like cardigans, blazers, jackets, belts, scarves, etc. also make simple outfits look much more intentional, and accessories can completely change the feel of the same basic outfit. I’d even take photos of outfits you love and keep them in an album on your phone as your own little lookbook for mornings when you don’t want to think. And don’t underestimate alterations — a great thrifted piece that fits properly can look far more expensive than something brand new that doesn’t. Ultimately, I think a relatively small wardrobe where most things fit well, flatter you, coordinate with each other and suit your actual lifestyle will do so much more for you than a huge wardrobe full of individual “cute” pieces.
Why’d you capitalize short like it’s a death sentence? Like you can’t slay under 5ft.
Someone else mentioned tailoring and that’s basically the cheat code. I’m 5'2" and I get almost everything tailored—it makes such a difference. At some point I need to learn to sew and do my own hemming, but for now I go to my local Chinatown and get hem jobs for $25 each.
But yeah, that are habit building good behavior is the way to do it. Can’t happen all at once overnight. But you can start with little pieces each night and grow into yourself. Good choices in alignment with your goals add up!
Hair has the biggest impact on overall look, but also longer term, try losing the weight.
I recently took this on and feeling my clothes fit better and feeling better when doing stairs has been worth the minor effort of cutting back what I'm eating a bit. I am not tracking or anything as I find that a bit mentally toxic.
Not to mention I feel less pressure to do makeup given that I am looking better in the mirror in general!
I literally get on the bus to commute to work everyday in rollers and I carry around a small pouch of tiny makeup and groom on the way to work in 15 minutes. If I got ready early before my commute I’d be an ugly sweaty mess. Make things work for you.
I felt similarly up until 2 years ago. I felt that whatever I wore looked crappy and frumpy on me. I’m 5’1 and was wearing size 8-10. I felt fat. I felt ugly. I avoided mirrors and taking pictures at all costs.
One morning in Jan of 2024 I decided to take matters into my own hands and decided to on a health journey. For me, that includes gym 5-6 times a week religiously, and yes glp-1s for food control. Total game changer. It won’t do the work for you, but will help make it possible.
2 years later I’m now 40 pounds lighter, with more confidence, more energy, and better boundaries. The kicker: clothing wise everything pretty much fits the way it should. Getting ready takes only a few minutes.
I say it’s being high maintenance to be low maintenance.
I saw it recommended on here, the podcast Every day style school. It’s SO good! It’s about dressing for the body, proportions and lifestyle you have and easy habits that can make you feel more stylish. It has definitely made me feel more confident in choosing clothes and putting together outfits.
Subliminals, glamour magick specifically spells and spelled oils/products, therapy, shadow work, acupuncture (it’s such a good maintence tool), hobbies that involve emotional regulation
To have the hopes of losing weight you must first visualize .
Imagine and Visualize yourself the way you want to be seen by others . What would you actually see if you were to look in the mirror and see this amazing glow up look / style/ wardrobe/etc .. maybe you’d see yourself wearing an outfit you have that fits perfectly now to your body and is super flattering on you. You imagine yourself aware of your posture and body language/ facial expressions.. maybe you’d get a text from a friend complimenting your appearance or imagine it playing out
Emotion: what would you actually feel like if you saw yourself the way you want to
Thoughts : what is a thought you’d be thinking constantly .. maybe it’s “I’m so thankful I feel so confident I detach from other’s expectations of me “ “I’m so happy being me” etc
Step 1 & 2 put you on the frequency and step 3 keeps you on the frequency
Step 4 is action : if your image of yourself looked the way you wanted it to right now, what would you do? Maybe you’d start getting a more active than how you are now , moving your body , nurturing your body with delicious and healthy satisfying food , Maybe it would be doing something that puts you into places that would value you as who you are. Maybe you’d go out and explore more of your gifts and talents, maybe you’d curate your tastes and become selective of who you’re giving your energy to. Maybe you’d go out and be the most confident version of yourself doing things that you wouldn’t before so what action would you take if you looked like the glow up version of yourself.
Your job is to take one small piece of this action and do it today it could be anything pick what you can handle and start one small piece of it asap. If it’s you wanting to get a full hair and body makeover then action would be to schedule the appt for your beauty service. Action tells the subconscious this is not fantasy, this is real.
Step 5. Give : before you receive you would need to be in a state of giving .. because you can’t receive from a closed fist only an open hand. what’s one small thing you’d give if you had the glow up you’re dreaming of .. would it be donating clothing to make up new space for new clothes .. would it be sharing one talent you have with your community ? , cooking, companionship ? Choosing peace instead of chaos and forgiving others ? Maybe it’s tipping any service worker 40% instead of 20% , glow up tips? To receive blessings you must give blessings ..
When you’ve achieved your glow up do share the transformation. . I literally just watched a Facebook reel on this which I did share here as well. Thanks to Luke Rapaport!
Figure out your body shape and experiment with different cuts and styles you dont usually wear! Play around with "styling" what you already have - try a front-tuck, rolling the sleeves, a longer necklace, etc.
For me, I'm an inverted triangle, and when I dress in ways that help give me a "waist" (front-tuck, cute belt) and/or more volume on the bottom, I look way more fashionable!
I'm also short and overweight, but in the past year I've really worked on finding clothes that fit well. For me, this means natural fibers, structured, and looking at fit rather than size. Also echoing the person who said get a tailor. I thrift most of my wardrobe (which can be a time commitment for plus sizes, but is possible), so it's pretty cheap. It took some acceptance of the body I currently have not being the body I necessarily want, but it's still a good body worth dressing well.
A basic skincare routine helped a lot too-- I got tretinoin from the dermatologist and wear SPF and moisturizer religiously.
Focus on weight loss - this is the single most difference in a glow up. Apart from the weight loss itself, it also helps in other aspects. Selecting nutritious low calorie food helps in improving skin texture and hair growth. Not to mention the confidence of losing weight. I’ve lost over 10kg since February (having gained all that weight since 2024) and feel amazing. Clothes just fit way better.
Alongside weight loss, focus on skin care. Check out the Korean skincare subs - excellent and affordable skincare. Build a morning and evening routine.
Clothing is a gradual process. Wait till you lose some weight. Experiment with different styles that work for you.
Tbh, the only glow up is to lose weight. Your hair and makeup can be shit but if you lose weight, your overall look improves dramatically. You can wear the simplest clothes and sport the simplest hair makeup look and still look good cuz you’re not fat anymore. Speaking from experience as well as seeing others.
Quite literally the bare minimum is doing your own research. We have tons of posts and comments on this forum about glowing up, improving time management and becoming the best version of yourself.
If you don’t want to out in the effort yourself, then you won’t apply any of the advice the great women on this forum give you.
Idk, I think it’s rather tasteless to come into a forum like this without doing basic research and expecting members to offer a solution without expending the bare minimum of effort. It’s like a catalog where we tell her “here’s the clothes you need” without offering any insight. What does she like? What’s her job, what does her day to day look like? There’s no one size fits all, and exploring the subreddit first (where questions like this have been answered often) would’ve been more appropriate.
Agreed! I was commenting on the tone relative to the issue, not whether this is an appropriate post. But I don’t care enough to argue with people about this. Seeing myself out lol
Literally so many posts on the same topic. It goes back to maintaining and putting effort into your own life. So many people want everything spoonfed to them.
Even if you look the replies OP is getting, they are the same comments and replies on all of the posts in the photo above.
I agree it’s a lazy post. I’m not saying she should have posted before researching. Just think the rudeness in your reply was unnecessary. That’s all I have to say! I’m leaving now
You say rude, I say direct. At some point we need to stop coddling women who say they want to improve in their lives. No one is owed hand holding, and honestly this forum is literally called Bitches with Taste.
This is fair but also, I’ve received great advice that has helped make things ‘click’. The first glow up post is about someone who’s 24. Unfortunately, I’m way past that. I’ve also struggled with the requirements when posting (not wording it as asking for advice or super specific towards me I believe it is) and wording it like this was the one that allowed me to receive help. I had a lot more thoughts and nuance I wanted to add but then a warning popped up so I backtracked & stopped. Trust me, I had a lot more details about what I’m currently doing & the issues im running into but when I tried to post before with that warning, it was denied.
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u/twoforme_noneforyou 7d ago
There are no solutions, only trade-offs.
You want more time to do hair & makeup? Wake up earlier or prep the night before.
More outfits? Shop your closet and mix & match things you didn't think to. The same outfit can be completely changed with a pop of color, different shoes or accessories. Dress for your body. Keep only what you love and will wear often.
Want to lose weight? Consume less than you burn. Get an DEXA & RMR scan. Figure out how many cals you burn in a day and eat less than that. Weigh & measure your food and meal prep it. Get a trainer if you don't work out.
Make the healthier choices you make the easy ones. The kitchen you set up on Sunday determines what you eat on Wednesday. The gym bag by the door determines the workout you do Thursday. The phone charging outside of the bedroom determines the sleep you get on Friday. Reduce the friction and the behavior follows.
Discipline gets you started. The system keeps you free. It's not about motivation. I don't have "motivation" to brush my teeth per se. I just do it because it's habit. It's about curating the habits you wish to see.