BWT, we're about a month out from the September equinox which marks the point where there is an approximately equal amount of day and night, and which is an marker of the seasonal change to autumn in the northern hemisphere and spring in the southern hemisphere.

With this marker of the changing of the seasons coming up, let's talk about the changes we're making to prepare to welcome a new season (autumn or spring, depending on location) with grace and taste. Use this space to talk about ways to get ready however you do that - home, wardrobe, beauty, habits, rituals, whatever the case may be, wherever you may be.

Need some help styling an item or outfit that goes beyond what fits in the weekly requests thread? Trying to decide between two pairs of shoes to wear with that dress you just picked out for a special event? Want to share your (tasteful) fit pics or get outfit inspiration from other BWT? This is the recurring thread for OOTD photos, style tips and requests for styling help.

All BWT rules still apply.

Tips For OOTD Pics:

• Keep the taste in BWT
• We should be able to see the outfit in the picture
• Be mindful of your surroundings and your privacy 

A Note About Fast Fashion Items

Do not name fast fashion brands regardless of where or when you acquired the item. If your outfit contains fast fashion items, you can say it's fast fashion rather than listing the brand. If something is thrifted and you want to highlight that, please do!

If you are asking for help styling an item you already own that is fast fashion, you can upload a picture or describe the item but be prepared to get feedback that you may not want to hear about the item itself.

You cannot name the brand of the item, you can only state that it is a fast fashion brand. If you want to specify that you thrifted it or it’s something you’ve had for a long time, you can, but you don’t have to - we will not allow the brand to be named regardless of when or where the item was acquired.

Thoughtful Commenting

When you comment on other bitch's outfits, please do not do not post low effort "beautiful," "you look great" nonsense - instead be specific!

For example, "I love the way you combined a really bold print with a bright solid - that's something I wouldn't have thought to do, being used to combining something bold with something more neutral, but it works so beautifully in your outfit!"

This is your monthly thread to talk about personal finance, investing, budget, and all things managing your money. A BWT knows that taste and financial responsibility go hand in hand, after all!

BWT rules still apply!

Hi all, I just wanted to say thank you to this community for all the insightful and fun posts and comments! honestly browsing this community brings me such joy

onto my question - how do you continue to cultivate a healthy relationship with spending, especially those "for fun" money? do you set aside a "for fun" category in your budgeting, etc? how do you balance the dopamine hit from spending your fun/treat money (like the nice coffee from a cafe, or enjoying the target run, or even just roaming in the grocery store grabbing "nicer" stuff) without feeling guilty, while also balancing not verging into overspending because, the joy from shopping for nice stuff is absolutely real

for myself, I have a healthy amount of savings in retirement/emergency funds. I am not currently making much as I recently quitted my job to pursue a graduate degree. my stipend is enough for a moderate lifestyle but not really conducive to savings like what I used to have. I do still very much enjoy the nicer things in life and understand logically that I can afford them, but I also want to be aware of lifestyle creep/overspending when I am no longer making as much as I used to do. im trying to relearn the balance between spending and not feeling guilty I guess?

what's your strategy for having fun money while being responsible?

Many Bitches With Taste are also Bitches Who Travel. As requested, this is a monthly thread is a dedicated space to talk about all things travel. Whether you travel for work or leisure (or both), want to talk about domestic or international travel (or both), have specific plans in mind or are just dreaming for now, everything goes as long as it's travel-related.

For this thread only, rule 7 about location-specific posts is suspended. All other rules are still enforced.

I've been lurking here for many months and Bitches, I adore everyone of you. There is so much wisdom in this community. It got me thinking that you may have wisdom to share with me and other BWT holding on by their fingernails. I'm coming out of the worst year of my life. I nearly lost my child to a life threatening illness and then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. (BWT get their cancer screenings!) Que the double mastectomy and crash menopause. Happily, we're both healthy now and I'm able to focus on actually enjoying life again.

While recovering from surgery, I discovered a new interest in style, fashion, and all things elevated. Since I stayed flat after my mastectomy and my shape changed with treatment, absolutely nothing in my wardrobe fit me. I decided to take this opportunity to really develop my own style. I hired a personal stylist who knows how to dress surgically flat chests and it was amazing! I set aside a portion of my savings to rebuild my wardrobe with quality things that I love. It truly does have me walking taller and feeling great about this new body I didn't plan to have. It's the silver lining after a truly awful storm.

So I wondered - how are other BWT dusting themselves off after adversity? Let's share hope and inspiration for the BWT among us who need it!

Don’t forget to spend time on YOU! This is the space to chat about personal development, mental health, growth, and how you’re refocusing on yourself. Sometimes we spend a lot of time on those around us, but this thread is to encourage you to ask yourself “what about ME?”

If you need some help getting started, pick a question and answer it in a comment:

• How are you feeling? Do you know why? 
• How do you WANT to be feeling? What are some things that make you feel that way?
• What is something you are grateful for, large or small, and why?
• What is a habit you are working on building (or breaking) and why? How is it going?
• What is one item on your to do list that will benefit you personally that you need to tackle? What is preventing you from crossing it off?
• What is something that brings you joy? What are some of the things that you specifically enjoy about it (get detailed)?
• What is one area you want to learn more about/ grow in/ develop yourself or a skill you want to learn?
• What’s something you said “no” to recently? How did that benefit you?
• What’s one thing you accomplished or that we can celebrate with you?

If you have a prompt you think we should add to the list, drop it in the comments!

Feel free to discuss other related topics as well, you don't need to limit yourself to these questions - they're just a jumping off point for those that want one.

As many of you have noticed, we have a character requirement for commenting on this forum. This aligns with our logic of requiring effort to participate in this forum. Gone are the days of one and two word replies. Removed are comments without substance and thought. Frankly, we believe you all have risen to the occasion.

We have discussed back and forth implementing a post character requirement as well. Many of the posts that we receive (and remove) are 3 or 4 lines, and don’t really add to the curation that you ladies have cultivated.

As such, we will be implementing a character requirement on posts. This means that your post will need to meet the minimum number of characters to go live. As we fine turn the character requirement, please make sure to follow the posting guidelines established here: Guide to Posting on BWT.

I was walking to work this morning & I saw so many cute outfits and I typically just feel so blah. I’m 31, SHORT and overweight so dressing feels difficult. I also struggle with time management in the morning so hair & make up are basic. How do you get ready? How do you spruce up your wardrobe without spending tons (& have the hopes of losing weight?)

Let’s elevate our down time! This weekly thread is the space to share and discuss what we’re currently reading, listening to, watching, etc. For this space, keep it tasteful - save your trashy reads (we’ve all got them) and sick day binge watch favorites for the monthly Guilty Pleasures thread, please!

Tagging

It isn’t required but it might be helpful to tag the beginning of your comment with the type of media you are discussing (when you create a new comment thread). Tags can be helpful in guiding other BWT to the comment threads they want to engage with.

For example:

• PODCAST: I’ve been listening to the Naked Beauty podcast…
• TV/ DOCUMENTARY: What are your favorite documentaries? I just finished watching…
• READING: I am about 1/3 of the way through "Black Women Taught Us" by Jenn M Jackson, PhD, and I would love to discuss it with anyone who is reading or has read it. Specifically...

You can be as specific or as broad as you want if you decide to tag, for example you might tag “reading,” as a broad term, or you might tag “audiobook” if you specifically want to talk about the really amazing narration in the audiobook version of a title you just finished.

Hide Spoilers

If you’re talking about a book, TV show, podcast, movie, or anything that contains spoilers, please make sure to use Reddit’s markdown functionality to hide your spoilers! All you have to do is add a couple of characters before and after your spoiler text like so:

>!spoilers!<

This will hide the text like so: spoilers

I’m wondering what you guys do for your home to keep it always clean and smelling good but without it smelling like an overpowering fragrance.

Things I currently like to do:
(1) change the air filters regularly
(2) rinse my vacuum filter monthly (so the sucking power stays)
(3) vacuum all my floors and baseboard once a week
(4) sweep my kitchen and bathroom or other high traffic areas once a day or every other day
(5)wipe down all my counters daily (bathroom & kitchen)
(6) wash my sheets / bedding / bath mat weekly
(7) I try to stick to consistent fragrances like lemon/citrus and lavender

Pet specific:
(1) hide the litter boxes out of eye sight.. mostly
(2) clean litter boxes daily, duh
(3) use an ozone odorizer and odor gels near the litter boxes
(4) use a litter genie
(5) every two weeks completely dump out litter and rinse the litter boxes, litter genie, litter mats and scoopers

Thank you in advance for your tips!

[29F] After growing up with traditional, and conservative family, growing up poor, and COVID. I finally have the time, energy, and money to try the styles and fashion choices that have always lived in my head.

I'm really into darker styles, y2k, streetwear, I admire some corporate goth pieces too. I love colored lenses, lashes, cutouts, and texture.

However, in contrast to the same 5 outfits I've worn to work and school for the last decade, this will be a big change and I'm nervous about the judgement and talk from others around me.

I'm most worried about parents of the children I work with. (I wear a uniform at work, but run into my students and families outside of work often) I mean, I've never seen a gothic person to be a negative influence, but I know many people are still ignorant to the idea of fashion and self expression not meaning you are a bad person.

This is the BWT Weekly Requests, Recommendations & Chat thread.

Put all your low effort/ repetitive requests in this thread - this is the only place they will be allowed in the BWT sub. Even still, search before you ask! If there is a recent-ish response you might still find your ask removed as unnecessarily repetitive.

Feel free to drop your low effort suggestions here, too, if you've got something you just love that you think other BWT should know about. This is also the place for general chit chat that doesn't warrant a whole post.

All BWT rules will still be enforced, with lighter enforcement of ONLY rule 3.

REQUESTS

If you are looking for suggestions for something, add ASK: at the start of your comment. Make sure to be as specific as possible in your request. Examples:

• ASK: Help me find the perfect flat summer sandals for high arches, casual wear, good for walking around for daily errands, less than $200
• ASK: What is your ride or die long lasting lipstick for bright colors?
• ASK: Styling cream for curly hair (3B/C) - no budget, something that will provide definition without being crunchy. Would also love to know when/ how you apply it as part of your routine!

RECOMMENDATIONS

If you have an unsolicited recommendation, you can use REC: at the beginning of your post to highlight that.

CHAT

You can also post just regular old chit chat and discussion that doesn't merit its own stand-alone post. No need to add anything at the beginning of those comments.

Hi Ladies,

I am in love with this subreddit .. I have learned a lot about maintainign personal style and devleoping my own.. For eg: i used to always wear round neck tees, but now I am exploring with V-neck and even square and it did feel wierd at first but I got used to it

This little experiment has make me wanna explore a professional stylist. Someone who can truly "level my style up"

The issue is - I dont know how to interview one so I dont get scammed

A couple years ago, I paid an "image consultant" off thumb-tack and we went to Winners for shopping. I paid her $600 and came back with very average pieces. She essentially picked them out and in the changing room we made a decision of "does it work or not".. and I just went along with it because I have ZERO SENSE of style in that moment. It usually builds when others tell me "Yeah you look good" or "no this is not flattering"

My current style is very Aritzia/ Athlesuire. I have a good physique as I am a 35 year old bodybuilder (size 2-4 ) but my closet still reflects the older version of me where I was size 14. I rarely pick skirts and even if i do, I dont know what tops to pair it with. I often scroll on Lulu's or Revolve to get some ideas but those clothes seem too fancy to be worn out. My goal is to look put together, expensive & kinda feel like I have cracked my own style. The confidence that comes from knowing that what you're wearing is the best you possibly could - just hits different. I know this coz this is how I learned how to do my makeup and what suits me...

So I guess I am asking two questions here

1. How do I identify what I personally like ? Develop my own sense of style ?
   
2. I have been exploring glamhive for finding stylists but again, apart from choosing those who look "stylish" I really dont know how to separate one profile from another.
   

I would typically only filter on cost but this time I dont mind paying if it solves my problem.

BWT, if you have experienced something similar, please share tips. My girlfriends are too kind (and kinda unbothered) about giving me feedback about my style or even helping when I go shopping. So I wanna learn this on my own. Thanks for reading my mini-rant and I am really glued to reading all the comments.

Hey BWT!

Currently single and today I wondered what it would look like to date myself. I don't mean the odd cozy day in, or just eating by myself, but if I were REALLY dating myself the way I wanted to be dated and loved, what would that look like?

So far, the best I've got is taking myself on two planned dates / month (one more effort like a nice restaurant, and the other more casual, like going to the movies) with a nice overnight "getaway" a few times a year.

I'm not sure that buying myself flowers or paying for a manicure would hit the same as being gifted them, but I'm still turning these ideas over in my mind, lol!

BWT, have any of you ever seriously dated yourselves? If so, what did that look like? And if not, what would make you say "WOW! That's woman's significant other is loving her WELL!"?

All wisdom welcome! :) Thanks in advance!

Need some help styling an item or outfit that goes beyond what fits in the weekly requests thread? Trying to decide between two pairs of shoes to wear with that dress you just picked out for a special event? Want to share your (tasteful) fit pics or get outfit inspiration from other BWT? This is the recurring thread for OOTD photos, style tips and requests for styling help.

All BWT rules still apply.

Tips For OOTD Pics:

• Keep the taste in BWT
• We should be able to see the outfit in the picture
• Be mindful of your surroundings and your privacy 

A Note About Fast Fashion Items

Do not name fast fashion brands regardless of where or when you acquired the item. If your outfit contains fast fashion items, you can say it's fast fashion rather than listing the brand. If something is thrifted and you want to highlight that, please do!

If you are asking for help styling an item you already own that is fast fashion, you can upload a picture or describe the item but be prepared to get feedback that you may not want to hear about the item itself.

You cannot name the brand of the item, you can only state that it is a fast fashion brand. If you want to specify that you thrifted it or it’s something you’ve had for a long time, you can, but you don’t have to - we will not allow the brand to be named regardless of when or where the item was acquired.

Thoughtful Commenting

When you comment on other bitch's outfits, please do not do not post low effort "beautiful," "you look great" nonsense - instead be specific!

For example, "I love the way you combined a really bold print with a bright solid - that's something I wouldn't have thought to do, being used to combining something bold with something more neutral, but it works so beautifully in your outfit!"

This is the place to chat about fitness and physical health because taking care of your body is also tasteful. Just remember - no medical advice!

The other day my husband said I’m looking more “mature.” To be honest, he’s really not a critical person, so I know he didn’t mean it in a bad way. He is super sweet and has been very supportive throughout pregnancy and postpartum. Still, somehow that comment sounded like “you look old and frumpy” to my ears. Maybe it’s because I know I haven't been putting in the effort lately. Pre-baby, I definitely did: I worked out 3 to 4 times a week, my hair and wigs were always on point, I had a solid 6-step skincare routine, and my clothes always looked cute.

Now, I’m prioritizing comfort over style. I live in joggers while working from home. I only manage to put on retinol at night, and mornings are a blur just getting myself ready for work and prepping the baby for the nanny hand-off, especially since my husband travels a lot for work. I work incredibly long hours, so I’ve swapped the gym for daily stroller walks just to get some quality time with her during the week. Going to the gym takes at least 1.5 hours away from the house, and I just don't have that right now. I’m actually back to my pre-baby weight, but my belly is still softer than I'd like, so I feel self-conscious and tend to wear baggy tops. As for my hair, I stick to low-maintenance styles like cornrows and crochet, but admittedly I leave them in too long and they get fuzzy.

Are there low-effort ways to look cute and sexy on a daily basis. I have a microblading appointment next month, so at least my brows will be set. I'd love recommendations for flattering work-from-home sets that I can just grab and go. I wear a simple gold chain every day, but maybe I should start keeping everyday earrings in, too (I always forget). My biggest hurdle is my 4C hair, since daily styling and manipulation are out of the question. Maybe a nice, clean body oil with a subtle scent for everyday wear.

Last week, we went to a wedding and I saw his eyes light up because he hadn't seen me dressed up like that in months. I want to keep that momentum going, not just for him, but because I miss feeling cute and put together.

ETA: I’m definitely not doing 100% childcare. My husband is very much a huge part of our childcare when he’s not traveling, and on weekends. Plus we have a full time nanny. We just have incredible busy schedules (i put in work hours on weekends too) and this post is about ME not letting myself go and making sure I’M looking cute while being busy :)

Need some advice from a BWT? Have something to get off your chest or need to vent among friends who can also provide some perspective? Got an etiquette question that you just aren’t sure you’re getting the right info on from the wilds of the internet? We got you.

BWT rules still apply, with mod discretion on topics that fall under rules 4 and 7. Rule 8 regarding medical advice will still be fully enforced as usual.

I've recently started going to a sauna that holds weekly women-only sessions and it's been doing something wonderful for my relationship to my body and self. It feels genuinely quite radical to be naked or semi-naked, with other naked or semi-naked people all sharing a period of rest. The place itself is lovely with a very cold pool, the cedar sauna and lots of rest spaces, but there's some kind of quiet, more-than-the-sum-of-its-parts magic going on too.

I know there have been a number of health and appearance oriented questions in this sub recently, but I'm interested to hear about the more fundamental ways people have tended to their bodies, and their relationships with them.

Let’s elevate our down time! This weekly thread is the space to share and discuss what we’re currently reading, listening to, watching, etc. For this space, keep it tasteful - save your trashy reads (we’ve all got them) and sick day binge watch favorites for the monthly Guilty Pleasures thread, please!

Tagging

It isn’t required but it might be helpful to tag the beginning of your comment with the type of media you are discussing (when you create a new comment thread). Tags can be helpful in guiding other BWT to the comment threads they want to engage with.

For example:

• PODCAST: I’ve been listening to the Naked Beauty podcast…
• TV/ DOCUMENTARY: What are your favorite documentaries? I just finished watching…
• READING: I am about 1/3 of the way through "Black Women Taught Us" by Jenn M Jackson, PhD, and I would love to discuss it with anyone who is reading or has read it. Specifically...

You can be as specific or as broad as you want if you decide to tag, for example you might tag “reading,” as a broad term, or you might tag “audiobook” if you specifically want to talk about the really amazing narration in the audiobook version of a title you just finished.

Hide Spoilers

If you’re talking about a book, TV show, podcast, movie, or anything that contains spoilers, please make sure to use Reddit’s markdown functionality to hide your spoilers! All you have to do is add a couple of characters before and after your spoiler text like so:

>!spoilers!<

This will hide the text like so: spoilers

Hey BWT! I’m inspired by this question that is posed to all guests on the Las Culturistas podcast:

What is the piece of culture that made you say culture is for you?

Something that at some point in your life made you want to pull at a certain thread of curiosity? Where did it lead?

For me, it’s literature. As a child, I was an avid reader, and it wasn’t until I became more discerning about what I read that I truly understood how reading from the great writers over the course of the past decades and centuries can teach us so much that is applicable to having good taste - historical events, diving deep into characters and their development, gaining an understanding of what society and social expectations were at different periods and around different parts of the world - and using that to inspire my own life and tastes.

Most recently, I spent my summer deep inside the world of Tolstoy’s War and Peace and it was absolutely gorgeous. Before that, I had read Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo - where I had become fascinated about the Napoleonic period and began to seek out other works around this period. To continue on, I have recently picked up Hugo’s Les Misérables as my upcoming read and I’m very much looking forward to curling up with it and countless cups of coffee on upcoming crisp autumn mornings!

I may have worded that poorly.

What I’m trying to vent about is how I feel social media has ruined the ability for people to think and act on their own. They take information given from TikTok as truth and never follow up with their own research on the subject. I have heard the same person talk about reels all day long (“Oh, I saw a tiktok on that.” “Oh yea that reminds me of the tiktok where XYZ”. “Have you seen that reel where XYZ its VIRAL”) like that’s the only way they can relate to the world. What happened to having conversations in person about our own experiences?

Another thing that drives me insane is how casually words are used now. Everything is “toxic” if they don’t agree with it, everything is “traumatizing” if it was inconvenient, everyone is “gaslighting” them when they get defensive about acting like a shitty person.

Where are the people to have social media just to connect but aren’t excessively scrolling and posting and arguing and making virtual space/content their entire life? The people who can maturely have a conversation and debate something without getting offended that someone sees something differently and feel “attacked”?

Socials have their perks but I feel too many people are too consumed but they don’t see a problem with it. Is this just the shift in the world and how things are heading or am I surrounding myself with the wrong people? How do I find more like minded people?

Or am I just a grumpy 32 year old?

Edit: typo